Deep down in their hearts, they knew, in alternative universe or reality, they were soulmates, and lovers for life.

***

Nobody said it was easy.

But nobody told her it was this hard too. 

Seulgi couldn’t feel anything at that moment. 

All she did was stare at the wall in the apartment in darkness, merely twisting the ring around her finger, trying to identify the emptiness that was consuming her slowly but surely. 

The only sound penetrating the sad silence was the heater in the house. 

Maybe the fact that it was winter made things even harder to endure. 

And what worsen everything else was how Seulgi couldn’t find any ways to relieve this uncomfortable pressure building within her. 

“Seulgi? Baby?” 

She was so deep in her own thoughts she didn’t realise the arrival of the other owner of the apartment. 

“Why are you sitting in the dark?”

“Please don’t-” Her voice cracked from the long hours of not speaking. “No lights, please.” 

Irene pulled her hand back slowly from the switch, putting her things away at the dining table before worryingly pacing over to the sofa and sank in beside her girlfriend. Truth to be told, Irene had an idea or two about the happening. 

Carefully like she was dealing with a porcelain doll that might break any time, Irene’s touches were gentle, soft and warm. 

She ran her fingers across Seulgi’s cheek, brushing the hair to tuck them behind the ear, revealing an unreadable side profile, to which she leaned in closer to. 

“Baby..” 

Irene pressed a firm kiss on Seulgi’s ear before hovering her lips on the smooth face.

Seulgi shut her eyes upon the soothing voice and lingering kisses, feeling her tensed nerves loosening. It wasn’t till then that she realised how much her body ached from her stiff sitting position ever since she got home. 

Irene didn’t force for reactions, just sitting there with the younger one, letting her process her thoughts. Wrapping an arm around the shoulder, her other free hand was placed over Seulgi’s on the lap, forehead resting against the temple. 

“I thought she was my friend.” 

The scenes from the noon came flashing back in Seulgi’s mind. She still saw the images vividly as if they were right before her eyes; 

The way Seungyeon’s eyes enlarged at her announcement of Irene’s presence as her girlfriend, the way her friend’s features twisted with disgust, the way her friend stood up to leave after saying that they shouldn’t hang out in the near future. 

“She told the rest of our college friends, even those who I barely knew. She outed me, without my consent.” 

Seulgi was regaining her senses as the words left , as she let the situation settled in, fully feeling the rage in her at the words of her supposed-friend and Irene felt it through the heat of Seulgi’s body. 

“She asked me, why you? Why not a man who can give me better?”

Seulgi let out a scoff, having hot tears welling up in her eyes, though nothing fell just yet. 

“Who the hell is she to judge you?” 

Heartache and sadness clouded up in Irene’s eyes as Seulgi fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat, anxiety surging through her veins. Seulgi’s quivering hands went up to hold Irene’s face, her eyes darting around, her feet tapping on the ground without rhythm. 

“You gave me everything you have, nobody treats me better than you do and she had the audacity to say that of you?”

Irene did her best to hush her girlfriend, repeatedly telling her that it was okay, but tears just poured out without control. 

“Baby-” A loud sob escaped. “She can’t say that about you, she has no rights to say that about you!”

With more force than usual, Irene pulled Seulgi who was then a crying mess, into her full embrace, letting themselves falling entirely against the cushions, tucking her girlfriend into the crook of her neck and rocked her gently. 

“Seungyeon.. She was supposed to be my friend…” 

“Seul.. It’s okay, I’m here.” 

Of course, Irene had always been there.

The tight hugs made Seulgi felt like her broken pieces were being mend, that her pain hurt a little lesser. 

Coming out was as easy as it was hard. 

Seulgi never had to come out to her parents in her entire life, because they never assumed her to be of somebody just because everyone else is of something. 

She thought she had it easy compared to Irene, but sometimes, pain just means pain and no measurement should be able to quantify any pain enough to be deemed valid or not. 

And having one of her closest friends to disregard her just because of her uality sure hurt as hell. 

But Irene was always there to make things better. 

The sun had long rose and without having to check the time, Seulgi figured it was almost noon and there she was, still bundled under the thick blankets instead of enjoying her weekend.

She knew Irene had been up early, probably cooking up a storm in the kitchen because as much as she would like to sulk about her friend’s betrayal of outing her without consent, the aroma did distract her for some time.  

“Seul?”

Irene climbed back into bed with her girlfriend, only to smile when she found a rather upset looking but adorable human-bear buried beneath the thick linens. Pulling Seulgi up into a sitting position, she ruffled the hair and pecked the forehead. 

“Come on, it’s almost time for lunch.” 

Sometimes with just a look or two, and many more, at Irene, Seulgi would find peace in the midst of the chaos going on in her head and she knew that Irene held so much weight to her. 

“You really give me the best, you know?”

Irene’s eyes softened at Seulgi’s confession, a gentle smile seen across her face. 

Sure, nobody said coming out was easy, but all of that judgement really didn’t matter as much to her anymore, not when Irene was there to make hard things, easier. 

“So.. Were you ever unsure of each other?”

Yeri, Irene’s newly hired barista, once asked them during a closing shift. 

It turned out that the college girl was the staff at the cafe down Irene’s apartment when Seulgi had the confrontation with her girlfriend’s father, and she saw the entire happening; from the slap, to how Irene came in between to protect Seulgi. 

Shortly after the new year, Yeri had somehow managed to stop Irene while she was on her way home, to ask for help.

“Unnie!”

The couple was in a midst of a rather heated conversation about whether marinated crabs taste good or not when they halted in their tracks at the voice. 

When they saw Yeri awkwardly looking at them from a few feet away, they recognised the girl and let the awkwardness thickened in the air. 

The confrontation with Mr Bae wasn’t discrete, and they knew that the girl heard and saw everything. 

Exhaling a heavy breath of sigh, it was as if Yeri mustered much courage before she approached closely.

“I’m Yeri, the barista who saw..” She fidgeted. “You know.. Before New Year.” 

Seulgi noticed how Yeri’s eyes drifted to her intertwined hand with her girlfriend’s and she held tighter, as if giving herself courage to say what she had to say next.

“Yeah, we,” Seulgi looked at Irene briefly. “My girlfriend and I remember you.” 

For the first time in her life, she had actually called Irene her girlfriend publicly, declaring to an almost-stranger and somehow instead of feeling frightened, she felt liberated. 

She was expecting negative reactions from Yeri because she wasn’t expecting some stranger who was raised in the same conservative country to not judge them, but she thought her ears were playing trick on her when Yeri responded. 

“I really admire the both of you.” 

The trio shared a smile among each other, Irene leaning her head lightly against Seulgi’s shoulder as she thanked Yeri with a soft voice. 

“I was wondering if I can drop by your cafe someday to help with your closing and in the meantime..” 

Yeri’s face seemed to be reddening upon each second that she delayed her speech for, until Irene pat her on the arm to urge her from continuing. 

“I think.. I think I’m one of you and I need to talk to somebody about it.” 

Unlike Irene who caught on immediately, it took Seulgi awhile to realise that Yeri was referring to her own uality. 

The two elder ones each saw a bit of their younger selves in Yeri and they bonded quickly because of that, which ended up with Irene formerly inviting Yeri to take on the barista position at her own cafe. 

“Instead of saying that I was unsure of her, I was unsure of myself.” 

It was a topic that was never spoken of because they always had bigger issues to worry about, such as having to keep their relationship a secret from families, from colleagues and friends. 

“I was unsure if I was enough for her.” 

Seulgi looked over at Irene who was speaking without looking up, just continuing with her washing at the basin. 

“You can always be at your best but there would always be somebody better, you know?”

“Nobody is better than you, baby.”

Irene smiled at the whisper beside her ear and a peak that followed after on her temple.

“Who would be better than you, Unnie?”

Yeri chirped after Seulgi.

Irene sighed.

“Somebody who was willing and able to give a status before I did.” 

Yewon. 

Her name was never mentioned ever since the first and last time Seulgi brought up the break-up, and Yewon knew better to intervene into somebody else’s relationship. They remained a friendly working tie, but nothing more than that. 

Later that night when they were settling in bed, Seulgi could tell that something was still on Irene’s mind. 

The smile sent her way when she handed over the glass of warm milk melted Seulgi’s heart. Years of seeing the smile still never fails to get her heart racing. 

“Do you want to talk about earlier on?”

“What about?”

“About you feeling unsure of yourself.” 

Irene’s brows ceased a little but she quickly shrugged her shoulders as if she could fool her girlfriend. 

“You know you can tell me about anything, right?”

Seulgi’s soft eyes shimmered under the night light, luring Irene to snuggle into the warm and welcoming arms. 

“I think there isn’t anything scarier than having to come out in a conservative country.” 

Seulgi nodded her agreement.

“But by coming out doesn’t mean there wouldn’t be anymore insecurities.” 

Nobody is born to be flawless, however blissful one’s life can be. Emotions can be crippling, regardless of how much reassurance one is given. 

“I’m not doubting the love we have for each other, if that’s what you are thinking about.”

Seulgi only chuckled at how quick Irene was to point that out before letting her own insecurities manifested. She laced their hands and brought them up to her lips, pressing against Irene’s knuckles before resting against her chest where her girlfriend could feel her heart beat.

“My ex-dad,” Irene scoffed. “Has yet to grasp his mind about us.” 

They both almost forgot how Mr Bae severed ties over a text message right before the new year, and they knew how much Mrs Bae hoped for them to reconcile, though she had never forced her daughter. 

“I really couldn’t care about what he wants to do to me, since he probably used up most of his energy lashing at me back then.”

Irene felt Seulgi’s flinch upon the mention of last year’s happening that still left some light scars on her back and felt sorry instantly. 

She knew Seulgi had never truly gotten over the incident, nor had she been able to let bygones just be bygones. 

Sometimes in the middle of the night, she could feel fingers tracing the little scar just slightly above her shoulder blade, followed by kisses and quiet confessions of “I love you”. 

"I'm sor-“

"Shhhh..." Irene hushed her. "If you must say something, say that you love me.”

It was Seulgi’s way of apologising, just like how she was told to. 

“Baby I shouldn’t-”

She wasn’t given any chance to finish her sentence before Seulgi’s lips were against hers, a hand resting below her ear and the thumb gently caressing her cheek, the tastes of their lips mingled. 

Irene let her eyes shut as she relaxed into the kiss, feeling their movements synchronising, her arm snaking around Seulgi’s neck to pull their bodies closer.  

Seulgi let out a contented sigh, feeling as if her world fell apart upon the touch of their tongues. Each taste was slow and soft, comforting her in a way that no words could describe.

No touches were foreign, yet each taste was so refreshing, as if washing away all the bad images that flashed back into Seulgi’s mind. 

The red she saw in her head was no longer the blood oozing from Irene’s wound, it was the colour of Irene’s lips. 

The whimpers of pain she thought she heard again in her head were then replaced by the sighs of pleasure. 

Warmth still lingered on their lips even when they separated, foreheads against each other’s. 

The moment Irene’s eyes opened, Seulgi was already looking right at her. It amused the elder girl when she realised how Seulgi’s pupils were dilating upon their eye contact. 

“You are so precious to me, Seulgi.” 

Her voice was so soft it was almost as if she didn’t speak, but their proximity allowed Seulgi to hear it all. 

“I don’t know what he would do to you, and I don’t know what I will do to him if he makes a move on you.” 

Seulgi didn’t speak, just watching Irene with tender feelings. Maybe it was the dopamine flooding her brain after the feathery kiss, she didn’t seem too bothered by the constant mention of Mr Bae. 

“What if he goes to your workplace and makes a scene?”

Truthfully, there was no guarantee of what Mr Bae was capable of. After all, he did abuse his own daughter. 

Seulgi raised a brow, as if prompting Irene to go on. 

“What if you lose your job?” 

Irene was baffled when Seulgi let out a giggle. 

“Well…” She pretended to think. “I guess you have to be responsible for my livelihood then.” 

“Baby,” Irene brushed Seulgi’s falling fringe back. “We are talking about your future.”

The tiny grin slowly flattened out into a line, Seulgi spotting no expression, her eyes darting around and Irene knew she was thinking, really thinking this time round. 

“You really think losing my job is my greatest worry about what he would do to me?”

A slight tingle erupted within Irene’s guts when fingers brushed across her lips.

“Losing my job isn’t the worst case scenario, but losing you is.” 

Every word was dripping in sincerity, every word was covered with love. 

Seulgi leaned in for a brief kiss on Irene’s ear, letting the touch lingered for just the right amount of time before grazing her lips along the neck, letting herself get intoxicated by the scent. 

It sent Irene’s head spinning from the pure pleasure and warm breaths exhaled against her porcelain skin. 

She put on the same assuring smile when she looked her girlfriend in the eyes again, lips hovering each other’s. 

“If I lose my job, you can hire me to work at the cafe since I’m pretty good at doing the dishes, aren’t I?” 

Sweetness of the promising future and Seulgi’s effort to dismiss her insecurities were all she tasted and she knew, insecurities may still idle after coming out, but Seulgi would always be there to hold her back into safety. 

“There you are, I have been looking for you.” 

Seulgi found Irene in the kitchen of her cafe, plating the bite size fruit tarts with much concentration. 

“Why aren’t you out there?”

“Because the person whom I want to be with is in here.”

She towered over her girlfriend from the back, wrapping her arms around the petite figure, taking in a deep breath of Irene’s sugary scent. 

The quick kiss on Irene’s neck made her felt like there were butterflies in her stomach, and her heart fluttered at the warmth pressing against her back. She pulled the arms around her a fraction tighter, their bodies inches closer. 

“But what’s a birthday party without the birthday girl?”

If superheroes were real, Seulgi was sure that Irene was one. 

She didn’t know where did Irene get all the time in the midst of her busy business minding to organise a birthday party single-handedly, inviting their families and the remaining closest friends they had to come together to celebrate her 24th birthday.

It was the first time she met her brother after the entire saga with Mr Bae and the only thing he said was,

“Can’t believe you got yourself a girlfriend before I did and also a prettier one than those that I have had.”  

More than being contented about her understanding family, the laughter from Irene after hearing what her brother had said was what truly made her happy.

There was no big words to describe how she was feeling.

She was happy, just simply, happy. 

“Kang Seulgi..”

Irene had also invited Moonbyul along, who gave her a glare at first before fake punching her in the stomach. 

“For all these time you called me greasy, yet you managed to sweet talk Irene into dating a silly bear like you.”

Seulgi’s eyes curved like crescent as the grin on her face only widened.

“Guess you are the true master between us both.”

Deciding that it was enough of teasing, Moonbyul offered a hug. 

“Sorry for all those times when we had to keep it from you.”

It was a heartfelt apologise that was accepted in a blink of an eye.

“I knew it all along.” They shared a chuckle. “Stay happy, my friend.”

“All of these is only possible because of you, baby.” 

Seulgi breathed into Irene’s ear, sending chills down the latter’s spine. Nibbling on the ear shell, she smirked when her girlfriend’s knees gave in, body sinking further against her embrace. 

They merely stood there, bodies pressed closely without fear of being walked in, knowing that they were safe at a place full of people who supported them.

Most importantly, they were the safest in each other’s arms. 

They would do anything to protect each other, and they would kill for each other.

They were everything together and nothing without. 

Even an ocean full of ink wouldn’t be sufficient to depict the love between them. 

“Irene Unnie? Seulgi Unnie?” 

Yeri’s voice echoed nearer and they reluctantly broke off their short cuddle, the absence of warmth shared instantly. 

As much as they wished for longer alone time, they were excited to see Yeri who peeked into the kitchen from the corner to make sure she wasn’t about to walk into any inappropriate scenes. 

The girls smiled simultaneously before Yeri pulled in another girl who had big round eyes that resembled a deer, skin fair like snow of the season. 

“So this is my friend, Saeron, and Saeron,” She turned to the said girl. “They are Irene and Seulgi Unnie.” 

They exchanged quick greetings and birthday wishes before Yeri gestured for Saeron to join the crowd on the outside with a gentle voice that the elder ones almost didn’t hear before. 

“Don’t look at me like that!”

Yeri’s cheeks were reddening as soon as Saeron’s receding back view was out of sight, her arms flapping about to dismiss the teasing stares before she hid her burning face into her palms. 

“So…” Irene started out slow. “Saeron is the one you have been telling us about right?” 

The youngest bit back a surfacing grin, nodding.

“Have you…?”

Seulgi lifted her brows in all sorts of direction and without words, they understood each other.

“I confessed.”

Widening eyes were staring at Yeri, waiting for her to continue her story.

“Technically she didn’t say anything…”

“Wait, I’m confused..?”

“Seul, let the girl finish.”

Yeri laughed aloud at the girls who were acting like her mothers. 

“But she kissed me on the cheek after I walked her home.” 

They grabbed Yeri into their arms, squeezing the light out of her as they jumped up and down in happiness. It was only when Yeri was letting out dolphin-like shrieks into their ears before they halted in their tracks. 

“I feel like a proud mum.”

Irene jokingly made a motion to fan the non-existence tears from her eyes.

“Honestly, I would still be in denial about who I am if it wasn’t for you, Unnie.”

Yeri reached out for both of their hands.

“Seeing how brave the both of you are made me realised that nobody will fight for my happiness if I don’t do it myself.” 

The fake crying scenario was about to come true when Yeri was all serious, her words of gratitude carefully planned. 

“I hope you know that I truly respect the both of you, for everything.”

Sure, nobody said that coming out was easy.

It was at the cost of broken relationship between a father and daughter, between friends, and a mingle of many other factors that were more often depressing than so. 

There were still insecurities, discrimination and judgements to face. 

But coming out was as easy as it was hard, when Irene had Seulgi, and Seulgi had Irene. 

It was a continuous process that would at times be tough, while at times at ease, but they knew that as long as they were in it together, happiness would be doubled and the suffering would be halved. 

“Awww, why are you getting all teary?”

Seulgi pouted at Irene, lifting the chin when the latter tried to look down to hide her welling tears shortly after Yeri left them alone again. 

“Everything feels like it’s finally starting to fall into place and it feels so right.” 

“Even when things were tough, it was still right because I had you.” 

Seulgi wasn’t all that much taller than Irene, but her height was still perfect to tuck the entireness of the petite frame into her long arms. 

“I think it’s safe to say that the hardest part is now over.” 

Kisses peppered on the crown of Irene’s head, Seulgi gently rubbed the arm comfortingly. 

“Everyday I learn how to be a better lover to you, from the way you love me.” 

Irene dawdled her face against the chest, returning pecks on the collarbone.

“Baby, you are easy to love.”

Seulgi giggled like a little girl. She would never be sick of being called Irene’s baby. 

“Can you promise me one last thing?”

“Anything.”

Irene didn’t know what was coming up, but she could clearly feel Seulgi’s accelerated heartbeat against her own chest.

“When the day I ask you to marry me comes, please say yes.” 

Seulgi backed away from the hug to look Irene in her widen eyes, surprise clearly seen in the orbs. 

Time stopped for a split second for Irene. In those monolid eyes, she saw burning love, the kind of flame that seems like it would burn for eternity. 

It was something that she knew she would never find in another person’s eyes, and she would never find another person to look back with equally passionate love. 

Because those eyes had seen her at her worst; when she refused a status for her own fear, when she couldn’t be firm enough in rejecting matchmaking dates and when she had repeatedly denied the simplest right of Seulgi’s to proclaim her love but yet,

Those eyes still had the spark that had never diminished, allowing the strong flame of love burn through the worst times.

“If you ask me, I will say yes.” 

Seulgi’s breath became softer at the answer she had been praying to hear, her shoulders dropped lightly in relief and her muscles relaxed enough to pull Irene back into her hold. 

Just like any other times, Irene had always given Seulgi anything she asked for. 

When Seulgi asked for them to never become nothing in the beginning of their budding love, Irene fulfilled her words with a promise ring. When Seulgi asked for her to run away from her matchmaking dinner despite knowing the grief consequences, Irene took her hand and ran away without looking back. 

As gentle as she could be, Irene tipped her toes slightly, leaning in for a shy kiss, just exactly like how Seulgi kissed her for the first time in that same very kitchen. 

Their teeth bumped when they smiled simultaneously at the first kiss none of them would forget, the first kiss that tasted like strawberries. 

It was the same soft and warm sensation that was a perfect reflection of Seulgi’s personality that never changed over the years when her tongue slipped past Irene’s pinkish lips, and the taste Irene was supposed to get used to, still fluttered her heart just like the first time. 

The kiss conveyed more than just the everlasting love they had for each other, but also the bittersweet of every coming out incident that only brought their souls closer. 

Deep down in their hearts, they knew, in alternative universe or reality, they were soulmates, and lovers for life.  

***

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Thank you everyone for your support for this story and my only way to repay your kindness for getting this story featured was by writing the concluding chapter for Seulgi and Irene.

Life after coming out can sometimes be nothing too different from before, but I just thought that in real life, we do have people facing similiar issues like I have written in the story.

Shall there be anyone who can relate to the story and its characters, I hope you know that there is always a place for you to be comfortable in your own skin. 

With this, I once again thank all of you for your everlasting support for She Knew. 💖💛

I read every single of your comments and I cannot thank you enough for your kind words. 

Your thoughts about the story is the reason why I keep writing! 😊

I hope in the days to come, I can present you with more quality stories.

Till then, please keep supporting Red Velvet! ❤️

Last but not least, Happy Birthday to the dearest lady whom I call my love, Irene. 🐰✨