Jeonghan couldn't remember.

In fact, there wasn't much he could remember since the accident. It was difficult of course, having to rebuild your life. Almost like trying to sellotape a mirror back together after it had broken into tiny pieces.

Somewhat fortunately, Jeonghan hadn't lost his memory completely, that would have been much worse. But no, at the time of the accident it was much worse, he'd lost four years of his life after he came out of his coma. Although since then, he'd regained two more years of his memories. Yet some parts were foggy and the two years before the accident were still completely lost. 

Thankfully, Jeonghan could remember a little more each day and not everything was such a blur anymore. 

Still, it was difficult. Knowing that two years of his life were still missing was a horrific thought. He has had to listen to other people telling him what his life was like, what happened in those two years, without being able to remember those experiences himself. It was upsetting to him. The thought of that always felt like his heart was sinking, almost drowning.

But two years after the after the accident, things were better. 

Jeonghan was at university studying art and it was all he ever wanted to do. Painting was his therapy and it was now his life. It was his coping method. It was calming. It took his mind off how broken he was. Jeonghan wasn't a fully finished painting though, he was in grey scale and some parts had be ripped off, some parts had been mended. Some of the mended parts had been put back together better than other parts: some were with glue and others had been hastily sewn together with the wrong type of needle. Some parts were still hanging off whereas other parts were completely gone. 

That was how Jeonghan saw his life: a broken and unfinished painting. 

If Jeonghan was a colour, then he would have been grey. He rarely wore any colour because it seemed to fit his mood. But Jeonghan promised to wear colour when he was happy again. When he could really smile with emotion, instead of fake smiling. 

He didn't do any of this for attention. The whole 'I'll wear no colour and be emotionless' aura wasn't because he wanted people to know he was sad. In fact, it was the opposite. Jeonghan just didn't want to feel like he was lying to everyone. He wanted to be colourful when he was truly happy, not for the sake of wearing colour. It was just how his mind worked. 

He was just colourless at the time and he wanted it to be that way. It liked it what way.

Just as colourless as the January weather. As colourless as the room where Jeonghan sat and painted. Of course, the art in the room gave it some colour. But the tables were white and so were the walls; the floor was a light grey. The drying racks were white and the sink was grey. Jeonghan was painting with grey water colour, his long hair tied back into a ponytail so that it wouldn't get in the way of his work. That has always annoyed him, the way his hair used fall into his face and he had to keep pushing it away. Jeonghan liked his hair long, he thought it suited him. It made him look pretty, although he was masculine. Sometimes he was mistaken for a girl but it didn't annoy him, but he didn't like to be deliberately misgendered. That was a different matter. 

When Jeonghan was done painting, he stood up and placed his painting on the drying rack. Looking at his watch, he thought it was time to go to the local coffee shop and people watch. He knew that it probably sounded creepy: people watching. Although it was just to get ideas, he liked to sketch people since it helped with his art. Seeing people with unique faces and scribbling them down into his small sketchbook. As long as they didn't notice, which they never did, Jeonghan didn't feel weird by doing it. Doing this helped his art skills so why was it weird? 

Once at the coffee shop and after Jeonghan had bought his coffee, he sat down and took out his sketchbook and a couple of pencils. He took a sip of his coffee and the started to sketch from his mind first. Jeonghan always did this first, he saw it as a way to get his art skills warmed up after the bus journey across town to get to the coffee shop. There were multiple coffee shops in town, he liked to go to different ones every now and then. But this one was his favourite. He knew the exact seat where he could get a good view of the whole shop and where he wasn't easily seen so that people didn't notice that he was drawing them. 

Through his peripheral vision, Jeonghan saw someone sit down a couple of tables in front of his. He took a sip of his coffee and took a glance at this person.

It was a man, young, probably in his early twenties and around Jeonghan's age. He has short, black hair and a fringe that went slightly past his eyebrows. The man wasn't what you'd call traditionally handsome, but something about him was attractive. Extremely attractive in Jeonghan's eyes. The man had thick lips and ears that slightly stuck out but all of his facial features somehow came together to create something gorgeous. Something addictive. Something that made you want to look again and savour your small look at every part of his face. 

Jeonghan saw him as a work of art, someone that needed to be drawn and painted over and over again. But Jeonghan didn't want to draw, he just wanted to look looking. He knew he had been staring for too long now and the man would probably notice. Would he remember his face and be able to recreate it without a reference? Perhaps. But Jeonghan had mild facial blindness and it was difficult for him to remember people's faces if he hadn't looked at them enough. 

In fear of not being able to get this work of art in paper, Jeonghan began to quickly scribble down the man's face. Once Jeonghan had finished with the face, he worked on the rest of him. He sketched the man's blue, denim jacket and his white t-shirt and his thick, strong arm holding onto his coffee cup and his other hand holding the book he was reading. Jeonghan would quite make out what book it was although he wanted to know. It was just out of curiosity.

But then Jeonghan looked up again to add more detail to the fade, his eyes met with the man. Unexpectedly, Jeonghan's heart began to accelerate. He wanted it to slow down again because he could feel his face going red. Had be been caught? Be certainly hoped not.

The man gave him a smile and then looked back at his book, his face slightly red too but Jeonghan didn't notice that. Jeonghan was just thankful that he hadn't been caught. 

After that experience, he decided to give it a break and stop drawing the man. He flipped the page and began working on sketching fighting poses from memory. 

He began to relax into his drawing and didn't even look up towards the man. After a while, he heard the man stand up and get ready to leave.

The man was about to walk past Jeonghan's table on the way out and his heart fell. He wouldn't ever get to sketch this man again which was disappointing. He wasn't usually like this when he people watched, people would leave and he just moved onto sketching the next person who he could see. But this time it was different, Jeonghan had sketched many attractive young men and women before and when they left he was fine with it. How could he be so upset?

Jeonghan head the footsteps walk towards his table and then stop when the man was next to it. That was odd  Jeonghan had thought.

"Hi," the man started nervously and Jeonghan looked up. "I couldn't help but notice that you were drawing earlier and I saw some of it when I walked in and I was really impressed and," he paused awkwardly and then took a deep breath. "Could I have a look?" 

Jeonghan was flattered, confused and nervous all at the same time. 

He looked down at his sketchbook and blushed. "I...er... It's not very good." Jeonghan bit his lip.

The man sat down in the seat next to him and his heart was racing. Jeonghan felt his ears turn red.

"That's okay," the man said. "But I really like that." He pointed to the drawing that Jeonghan had just been working on. It was just a quick doodle of one of Jeonghan's original characters, a girl who was wielding a sword. 

Jeonghan half-smiled. "It's just a quick doodle I did." 

"Well if that's just a 'quick doodle' then the rest must be amazing." 

Jeonghan blushed even more, it was almost as if this dude was flirting with him. I wish he thought. Although a part of Jeonghan believed that it could be true, the rest of it was nonsense. Why would he even flirt with me? There's much better people out there than me. He just likes my art. 

"Thank you," He said, pushing a stray hair behind his ear. "I mean, I study art at college but my teacher disapproves of my art. He says he's too much like manga." 

The man shrugged. "What's wrong with that?" 

"Apparently everything." Jeonghan half joked. Although he was being honest, apparently drawing in a manga style was a sin in art college. 

The man chuckled. "Well, your art teacher knows nothing." 

"You're probably right," Jeonghan replied and then looked at his watch. He has a class starting in forty-five minute so he had to leave soon. "I'll have to get back to art class soon." 

The man almost looked disappointed. "Ah, I understand," and began to stand up. "What's your name, by the way?"

Jeonghan looked up at the man for the long time. He was even more attractive this close up. "Jeonghan." He replied.

The man smiled. "I'm Seungcheol."

Looking down at the floor, Jeonghan bit his lip again. "It was nice to meet you." 

"Same to you," Seungcheol said, putting an arm on Jeonghan's shoulder, causing his head to jerk up and the boys to meet eyes. "I'll see you later." 

Jeonghan nodded and walked out of the shop, carrying his sketchbook and putting his pencils into his bag. 

"I'll see you later"? What did that mean?