I fell asleep in that position.

How I fell asleep I'll never know, but I jolted myself awake when I noticed what I was doing. My neck muscles were pulled to uncomfortable positions as I snapped my head back up, sitting up straighter.

I feared falling asleep, afraid something would happen and I would miss it. Beside me, Junsu leaned heavily against Yoochun's shoulder, his eyes red and puffy from crying for so long. Yoochun was silent, his face passive but radiating an aura of coldness that literally screamed 'leave me alone if you want to live'. I knew he was deeply worried for Changmin, we all were. What struck me as weird was how controlled he was being.

Yoochun was a sensitive soul. He was known to be the most emotional among us five, and had a habit of following his heart rather than his head.

Yoochun and I had never been the best of friends. I mean, I loved him and cared deeply for him, but among the four members, I was least close to him. To add salt to the wound, Yoochun and I had parted not on the best of ways.

I remember that day. How could I not.

It was the day TVXQ became lost.

Gone.

Extinct.

The three of them were at the door, getting ready to leave, their things packed and taken away. Changmin was gripping on to Junsu's hand like it was his final lifeline to Earth. He had refused to let them go. Some way, some how, Yoochun and I got into an argument. The last words I said to him as he stormed out our house were 'I hate you.'

Junsu and Jaejoong could only stare at me in shock, Junsu trying to pry Changmin off him, who was crying and being uncharacteristically Un-changmin-like. I came and grabbed Changmin from him, enveloping my maknae, the only person I had left, in a protective hug.

'Well what are you waiting for?!' I yelled at them, anger evident in my voice, 'LEAVE!'

I never regretted my words more. As I watched them go, Junsu crying so hard as Jaejoong gently led him out, Changmin screaming and yelling for me to let him go, I felt something die inside me. The three of them took a part of my soul when they left that day. Nothing was the same after that.

Changmin refused to talk to me for a week, before things finally seemed to get back to normal.

'Normal'.

How does one define normal when it is ripped away from you, slipping right between your fingers.

My 'normal' was taken away from me when my three members, my three brothers, left me. Left me hanging and scrambling for a proper grasp for another definition of 'normal'.

Normal. I knew not what it was anymore.

All those factors, combined with the fact that Yoochun looked on the verge of an explosion, left me shying away from him, avoiding eye contact and verbal communication.

My eyes roamed the room. Mr. Shim was pacing almost obsessively around the perimeter of the spacious waiting room. He looked ready to drop dead at the drop of a pin. He looked so tired, yet at the same time worried for his life.

Or rather, his son's life, to be painfully precise.

I knew better to talk to him. He had Changmin's temper, this man, matched with his own seemingly limitless patience, which, although it did make him a good father figure in the household, was not to be messed with. He may look fine now, but the wrong word could set off a very destructive charge.

I settled to leave him alone.

I noticed one person missing, and I got up, searching for that particular someone. My eyes landed on him.
He was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall, one leg stretched out as the other was folded lazily towards his chest. Both his hands were resting on his kneecap, fingers entwined. He had a faraway look in his eyes and looked like Adonis, painfully flawless. I came to sit beside him, my legs outstretched in front of me.

'Hey,' he said, voice as soft as a feather as he felt my presence, the faraway look still in his eyes as he faced the front, not looking at me.

That, I guess, was a pretty cool thing about Jaejoong. He could sense someone's presence, hence surprising him was near impossible.

'Hey,' I answered, equally softly.

I didn't know why we were talking softly, but I played along with it. It just seemed appropriate, what with the surroundings and the current...situation.

'How are you holding up?' I asked.

Jaejoong didn't answer. I didn't really expect him to. I leaned my head on his shoulder. He draped an arm over me. For once, I needed to feel the comfort of a hyung. Jaejoong pulled me closer. It was as if he was never gone. Like the past two years didn't happen. Like as if we were still TVXQ as five.

Now just waiting for the missing Maknae to show up.

'Remember that time when Changmin fell asleep on stage?'

I laughed gently. Yeah. That was funny. We had endlessly about it.

'Or that time Changmin hit his teeth on the Mic so hard they got chipped.'

It was time for Jaejoong to laugh.

It continued like that, our pathetic game of remember-the-time-this-happened. It was painful. We were talking like as if we weren't going to see him ever again. But somehow feeling that way made sense. It was like we expected it. Like we were bracing ourselves.

The two of us suddenly fell into silence. Our smiles dropped, and Jaejoong sighed, leaning his head against mine. He was a comforting presence to have around.

Jaejoong unexpectedly took my hand and entwined our fingers together. He brought my hand up to his lips and gently kissed it.

'It's going to be okay,' he whispered to me.

My tears began appearing again, my heart constricting painfully. 'How do you know?' I asked, my voice cracking.

'Have faith, Yunho,' he replied, tightening his hold on my hand, 'Have faith.'

*******************

Forgive me for the shortness of the chapter. I rewrote the bottom half of the story (which has yet to be posted).

It seemed it wasn't.... Climatic enough