CHAPTER 12 ~ FINAL CHAPTER

When I came to, my body was a mask of pain. My broken ribs ached, my arms pounded from being burned with embers from the burning building as well as the broken bone, and my head felt as if I had been hit in the head with a sledgehammer. I could hardly get my eyes to open, and during my struggle to lift the iron curtains that were my eye-lids, a frustrated groan escaped my lips, causing a jolt of pain stinging my torso.

Suddenly I felt a gentle hand on the back of my good hand. “Henry?” A soft familiar voice murmured. “Can you hear us?”

Finally my eyes opened, and I looked up to see Eeteuk, dressed in sweatpants and a loose t-shirt while watching me with concern. “E...Eeteuk...” I rasped, my voice rough and hoarse from inhaling smoke. “What happened?”

He sighed as he reached over to pick a cup off the nightstand and bent the straw. “Here, drink this.” He held the cup close to my face and offered me the straw. “You must be parched.”

“What happened?” I asked again after I nearly drained the water out of the cup. “Is everyone safe? Did Siwon get out okay? Did Wookie get his bunny back? Did-”

“Whoa, slow down hot shot!” Eeteuk smiled gently, sitting down in the chair next to my bed. “Everyone is fine, and yes, Wookie got his bunny, no need to worry.” I sighed in relief. “Actually, Siwon is better than ever. He has some minor burns from the fire, but he's great. When the beam hit his head, it knocked him back into the present, he'll be discharged from the ward as soon as the files are recovered. He's waiting outside to talk to you, come on in Siwon!”

I smiled weakly as Siwon came in, wearing a simple pair of jeans and a shirt identical to the one Eeteuk was wearing. He looked very different from how I had seen him during the fire, now he was cleaned up, his hair combed, his face for the first time not twisted up in an angry sneer. “Hello Henry.” He said in a pleasant voice. “I'm happy to see you alive and well. I don't really remember anything that has happened in the past six years, including you, but I was told that you were the only one who played along with my disillusions, and for that, I must offer you my gracious thanks. I must also thank you for coming in the ward to rescue me, without you, I would surely be dead.”

I blinked at his strange language and swallowed. “You're very welcome Siwon, I’m just happy that you weren't injured from hitting your head.”

“As am I.” He replied, smiling a charming smile. “I must go, I have to speak with my parents, they are elated to hear that my condition has improved. I hope your head feels better soon. Thank you again Henry.” He bowed deeply before exiting the room in a powerful stride.

I blinked after him and looked up at Eeteuk in confusion. “He comes from a very well-off family. His manners are impeccable.” I nodded in understanding. “He came to a second after you two were hit and carried you right out of there. Zhou Mi was freaking out.”

My smiled vanished instantly as he mentioned Zhou Mi. “Where is he?”

“He's talking with Geng next door, they're talking about what we're going to do until the ward is rebuilt.”

“Is it completely destroyed?”

A sad smile appeared on Eeteuk's face at my question. “They managed to put out the fire before it collapsed completely, but it had to be torn down, the damage was too bad for repair.”

I didn't say anything as the news sank in. Everything was gone. My home, all my possessions, gone. My violin, Sungmin's guitar, there was no way to know if Heebum and Yesung's turtles had gotten out safely. What would we do now? We had nowhere to go. We couldn't stay in the hospital forever. I looked up and saw that Eeteuk was wearing an expression that mirrored how I was feeling. If I was so moved by the ward being destroyed, I couldn’t imagine how he and the others were feeling. They had all lived there much longer than I had, they were probably more devastated that I was.

All of a sudden, the door opened again, interrupting my thoughts and drawing my eyes, which lit up as soon as I saw who was coming through the doorway.

“Zhou Mi.” I breathed, my heart pounding.

I was startled to see tears in his eyes as he came to my bedside and gently took my hand. “Henry.” He whispered back, leaning down to place a soft kiss on the back of my hand. “Henry...” He let his head drop down to the blankets, not rising back up again but instead choosing to nuzzle his face against my hand.

It was only then that I noticed that the doctor was standing at the foot of my bed. He must have followed Zhou Mi in, but I was so distracted that I hadn't noticed. “Mr. Lau.” He said softly, holding a clipboard in front of him but not looking at it. “How are you feeling?”

I my lips and smiled a little. “Okay, my body hurts pretty badly though.” I ran my fingers absently through Zhou Mi's hair.

Now he looked at the clipboard. “To be expected, you took quite the beating. Two broken ribs, four fractured, a broken bone in your forearm, bruises and welts all over your body. I know the burns on your skin are from the fire, but what about the rest of you?”

I flinched and looked down at the top of Zhou Mi's head as he still had it buried in the blankets by my hand. “Well...” I mumbled, a little hesitant to tell him what happened. Because that would be admitting that the fire was my fault.

“It's alright Henry.” Eeteuk said, smiling in assurance. “You can tell us.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I was...I got in a fight and well, I obviously lost.” I tried to laugh, but the pain in my chest cut me off.

The doctor stared at me, knowing I was lying and waiting for me to give in and go on. I deflated visibly after a few seconds.

“I was threatened.” I murmured softly. Zhou Mi's head shot up immediately to stare at me and Eeteuk's ears practically perked. I bit my lip before going on. “A few days ago I received a letter saying that if I didn’t go to a certain address by Saturday that something bad would happen. I was scared for the patients and my coworkers so I left like the letter said to. I didn’t want to chance it and put everyone in danger.”

“You left from the Han Psychiatric Ward on Saturday morning?” The doctor asked.

I nodded. “Yes. When I got to the address in the letter, I was beaten badly for what felt like forever, but was really only a few minutes. When it was over I realized that the one beating me was my ex-boyfriend, Kim Jonghyun.” Zhou Mi stiffened and his face hardened into a rock-hard mask of fury. I placed my hand over his. “He had the TV on after the beating, and I saw the ward burning on the news, so I ran as fast as I could to get back there.”

“It's good that you remember what happened.” The doctor said strangely. Both Zhou Mi and Eeteuk looked away from me at that moment.

Ignoring their odd behavior, I kept my eyes on the doctor. “Are the police going to catch Jonghyun and whoever burned down the ward?” I asked anxiously.

“Kim Jonghyun was arrested this morning, he was turned in by his half-brother, Lee Jinki.” At my look of shock, he clarified. “ Jinki apparently knew about the whole plan. Jonghyun came to him saying that you humiliated him and had some of your thugs beat him up in order to get Jinki to help him. When you arrived at the warehouse on Saturday, Jinki overheard everything that happened. When you ran away, he confronted Jonghyun and beat him for lying and causing innocent people to die, then called the police. They are both in custody right now.”

“But who set the fire then?” Zhou Mi asked.

“Jinki gave the police the names of the people he went to as well as their address, but when officers got there, the penthouse had been cleaned out and there has been no sign of them since.”

I blinked in shock at all the information. But apparently the doctor wasn't finished.

“There's something we need to tell you now.”

I looked up at him, confused. There was something about his tone, the way he said that sentence that made it seem like I wasn't going to like what he had to say. At all. The doctor dropped his clipboard to his side and looked down at me with a solemn expression. “Henry, while you were unconscious, we ran an MRI to see if you sustained any brain damage from the beam hitting your head and...we found something.”

My blood ran cold at his words. “W...What do you mean 'you found something?'” I stammered, barely able to speak.

“We found a tumor in the memory center of your brain.”

No.

“It's grown in so deeply that we cannot operate.”

This isn't happening.

“We've never seen anything like this before.”

Not to me.

“Have you ever noticed that you've forgotten something simple? Something that you thought you'd never forget?”

Yes. I had noticed. The gate code at the ward, I’d forgotten it on my birthday. And where my room was when Zhou Mi and I were not speaking to each other. I walked into a closet instead of my room. I had noticed, but I hadn't thought anything of it. How could I have known?”

“No.” I whispered. “No. No, this can't be right! I’m fine, see? I know who I am, I know where I am, I didn't forget anything! There's nothing wrong with me!” I turned to Zhou Mi with pleading eyes, begging him to say something. “Say it's not true! Tell me he's lying!”

There was silence in the room as I waited for Zhou Mi to answer me. His gorgeous eyes filled again with tears as he took my hand in his. “It's true.”

It was like the world dropped out from under me. My life was slipping away before my eyes, and I couldn’t move to reach out and take it back. I knew Zhou Mi wouldn’t lie to me. He loved me too much to lie to me about something this important. I had no choice but to accept it.

Zhou Mi squeezed my hand and I was pulled from my thoughts. Only then did I realize I was crying. “But I will be here for you. Whenever you need me, or don't, I will always be here to support you.” He said, coming closer to gently wipe my tears away. “I'll never leave you, and I’ll never let you leave me again.” He whispered. “So don't even think about trying it.”

I looked at the doctor, silent tears streaming down my face and dripping off my chin. “What will happen to me?”

“You will begin to lose your memories, slow or fast, it's impossible to tell. The bump on the head most likely sped up the process.”

“All my memories.” I echoed, my voice hollow and dead.

“Yes.” He said quietly, his head bowed. “There is a chance that you will have good days and bad days, like Alzheimer’s. But like I said we just don’t know.”

~ ~ ~

All the patients were allowed to stay in the hospital for several weeks as the ward was being rebuilt, and I continued to go through memory exercises in an attempt to help me retain my memories longer. The doctor said he didn't know if the exercises would help, but since they had never seen a condition like mine, he said he wanted to try everything. The sessions were grueling. They sat me in a chair with wires hooked up to me and a machine that monitored my brain waves and asked me simple questions. What is your mother's name? What year were you born? What school did you graduate from? When did you move to Seoul? What is your favorite color? Same questions every day. It was almost painful. The questions were so annoyingly easy to answer that after only a week I was about ready to rip my hair out.

At least until I started forgetting the answers.

The first thing I forgot was when I moved to South Korea. It had been just like the previous sessions, them in their chair asking questions, me in mine droning out answers, when they asked the question.

“What year did you move to Seoul Henry?” The doctor asked kindly.

I opened my mouth to answer, like normal, and bam. Nothing. I frowned, searching through my memories for the year that I moved to Korea. But I couldn’t remember. I had no recollection of how long I’d been here. I swallowed.

“I don’t know.”

~ ~ ~

They came to call my tumor Henry's Tumor, because of the fact that I was the first recorded case of having a tumor like mine. I could hear the people outside my room walking by and asking, “How's Henry's Tumor?” almost everyday. And I would lay in my bed in the dark and cry because I alone knew the entirety of the answer.

It was getting worse and worse. I was forgetting more and more each day, and it was getting so bad that I was beginning to shut down. During my memory exercises, I had taken to being silent, refusing to answer anything they asked me because I no longer knew the answers. The worst was when I forgot my parents' names. They were my oldest memory, and forgetting something that was so hard-wired into my brain scared me. I was scared of forgetting everything. I was scared of forgetting how to play games, how to use a TV, how to play the violin, how to use a phone, how to get to places. I was scared of forgetting my adopted family. Of forgetting my name.

I was scared of forgetting Zhou Mi. He had been there for me the whole time during this ordeal. When I came back from my sessions, he was there to support me. Whenever he wasn’t busy preparing to move everyone back to the newly-built ward he was with me, assisting me with anything I needed. But my favorite moments were when Zhou Mi would lay with me in my bed, just holding me and giving me the occasional kiss.

Like now. Right now, Zhou Mi was kissing my hands as we lay facing each other in my hospital bed, his figure silhouetted against the sunlight streaming in from the window, giving him an angelic look.

“I'm scared, Zhou Mi.” I whispered. He looked down at me and smiled sadly. “I'm scared of not knowing.”

Zhou Mi hugged me to him and I pressed my face into his shoulder. “I know it's scary. I know you're scared. But I’m here for you, we all are, and we all love you. No matter how difficult it gets, even if you forget everything about us, we will still be here, loving you.” My eyes burned and he pressed a soft kiss into my hair. “I love you, Henry.”

I squeezed him tighter. “I love you too. I hope I never forget that.”

A week later we left the hospital and returned to the ward, which had been completely rebuilt for about two weeks. The doctor from the hospital had given me a prescription for Alzheimer’s medication, hoping that it would help me to retain my memories longer.

I had forgotten simple things by then. I had to learn the floor plan of the hospital daily because I kept forgetting it. I couldn’t remember my phone number. I couldn’t remember the ward's address. And when we got back to the ward, which was an exact replica of how it had been before, I didn’t remember what it had looked like. I had to relearn where everything was.

At least that's what I was told.

I lied in my bed as I thought about it. Wookie had told me that I had to relearn all those things because I didn’t remember. I had forgotten the floor-plan, and now I went everywhere with Zhou Mi, and if he was busy, someone else accompanied me so I wouldn’t get lost. Once I had gotten lost trying to get to the commons, and I couldn’t figure out where I was, so I just curled up against the wall and cried until Kibum finally found me and let me cry into his shoulder until I was composed enough for him to bring me there. I sighed shakily and placed a hand over my face.

“Why,” I whispered. “Why me?”

I sat up suddenly and looked over at my violin case leaned against the wall in the corner of the room I shared with Zhou Mi, who was out at the moment getting a refill of my medicine. Slowly, as if it would vanish if I moved too quickly, I climbed out of bed and made my way over to it, opening it carefully. Zhou Mi had saved my violin from the fire, one of the few items that make it out safely, and for that I thanked him every day. Pulling it gingerly from the case, I stood and placed it under my chin, preparing to play.

The music flowed from the strings like magic as my eyes fluttered closed and I let the music take me away from the horrors of my life for just a little while.

A shrieking sound suddenly cut through the music, startling me from my reverie. I pulled the violin away from it's position and stared at it as if it were some sort of alien device. I quickly put it back in position. But when I tried to play again, nothing even close to music came out. I couldn’t remember the positions to make the notes, how to put them together to make music, how to string them together to create a song. I dropped my arms to my side, the violin and bow dangling from my trembling fingers. I had forgotten how to play the violin.

The only thing that had kept me going when I was younger.

My escape.

My soul.

CRASH

I screamed in agony as I collapsed, clutching my head as I pressed my face into the floor, tears falling from my eyes. My violin lay in splinters outside the door, destroyed from the harsh impact it made with the wall, its beauty now unrecognizable. Still wailing, I barely heard as Zhou Mi and Wookie ran into the room, gentle hands on my back, neck, shoulders, pulling my face up as I continued to cry out in sorrow. It felt like all the touches were miles away, like I was feeling them through a second skin, and when I looked around, it was as if looking through glass. I saw scared faces in the doorway, Eeteuk and Heechul picking up the remains of my instrument. I saw Wookie grabbing a box of tissues from the desk before coming to dab gently at my wet face. I saw Zhou Mi as he lifted my head up, forcing me to look at him. I heard the same phrases.

It's okay, Henry.

Don't worry, Henry.

Everything is okay, Henry.

All lies.

I ripped myself from Zhou Mi and Wookie, stumbling over to the desk to blindly grab for a letter opener. There was an alarmed shout from the hall as I placed the sharp edge of the blade at my throat.

“Henry, NO!” Geng yelled, pushing past the patients and into the room. “Don't!”

“WHY?!” I screamed, tears still streaming from my eyes. “Why shouldn’t I? What is the point?! I won't know anything soon anyway! I’ll forget all of you, everything about you, it will all be gone!! There's no point in living anymore, not if I'm going to forget everything about myself, everything I know and love!”

Zhou Mi stepped forward, his eyes full of panic. “Henry, please! We love you! Running away isn’t like you, you aren’t the type to just give up like this!”

I shook my head. “I'm just a coward, a coward that should disappear.” I laughed weakly, bitterly. “Besides, I don’t even remember what type of person I am, not anymore.”

“Please don't, Henry!” Wookie cried, his eyes red and watery from fear and sorrow. “We need you! We will still love you if you forget us, because we'll know that you do love us too, you just don't remember!”

I blinked at his words. He didn’t take any pauses like he usually did, it was the most I had ever heard him speak without having trouble. “How can I go on knowing that it will all disappear?” I whispered, my hand that was holding the knife shaking badly. “I cant bear the thought of a life without all of you.” I winced slightly as the blade nicked my throat, a small bead of blood dripping down my neck. “I can't live without knowing you!”

Zhou Mi dashed forward suddenly, grabbing my wrist and pulling the letter opener from my throat. “You're going to have to.” He told me sternly, his face serious. My lower lip trembled as I felt a fresh wave of tears coming, and his face softened as he cupped my cheek in his hand. “Because I refuse to let you die.”

At those words, the sobs that I had been holding in burst from my mouth and I collapsed in his arms, clinging to him for dear life as if I would get carried away if I didn’t hold on. Now that I had forgotten how to play the violin, Zhou Mi was the only thing I had. Yes, I still knew the rest of my family for the time being, but Zhou Mi was different. He kept me grounded, from being overwhelmed and from losing my mind.

“You can't leave me!” I wailed, my face buried in his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and murmured comforting words into my ear, letting me cry until there was nothing left. All the other patients waited around to give me loving hugs before returning to their rooms. Even Hyukjae and Donghae were surprisingly mature when they came and both hugged me at once before smiling gently and returning to their place. Once everyone was gone, Zhou Mi sat us down on the bed and very carefully started cleaning the small cut on my neck.

I whined a little as the antiseptic stung, and Zhou Mi chuckled softly. “I'm almost done, bear with it for just a bit longer, okay?” I nodded and we sat in silence for a few minutes, then he spoke again. “Please don't try to hurt yourself anymore.” He asked me, his voice pained. “You scared the living daylights out of me when you grabbed that letter opener.”

I watched him and saw that he was looking down at his hands, distracting himself by putting everything back in the first-aid kit. Biting my lower lip, I lifted a hand and laid it across Zhou Mi's arm. He froze and then looked up at me sadly. “I'm sorry.” I told him. “I wont do it again.”

His face was lined with sorrow as he pulled me into his embrace. I nuzzled his neck with my face as he cradled me to him lovingly. Suddenly he took my left hand and slipped something into it, pulling away slightly with a gentle smile.

Confused, I opened my hand, and stilled as I absorbed what was there. There was definitely a word for these kinds of things, and it wasn't the tumor that kept me from knowing. I looked up at his face, surely having a dumb expression on my own. “Is this was I think it is?”

He nodded and I started to tear up all over again. But for a very different reason.

Zhou Mi smiled at me again as he slipped the ring onto my finger, silver and simple, just the way I liked it. “I know that six months from now you may not remember me, but that only makes me want to do this more now.” He slid off the bed and knelt before me, holding my hands in his. “So, Henry Lau. Will you marry me tomorrow?”

I threw myself at him in the blink of an eye, knocking him back onto the floor, him laughing, me crying. “Yes, yes, yes I will, of course I will marry you!” I sobbed as he rubbed soothing circles into my back, allowing me to cry tears of happiness as I lay on top of him.

“Come on.” He said, still smiling as he eased me off him and we stood up. “I have something to show you.” And with that, he suddenly lifted me up in his arms and started carrying me bridal style down the hall towards the commons.

When I realized what he was doing I attempted to free myself from him, but he held me tightly in place and just laughed. As we emerged from the hallway into the commons I saw everyone wearing cheesy hats with streamers and confetti in their hands, all with expectant expressions on their faces.

“He said yes!!” Zhou Mi shouted triumphantly, a huge infectious grin on his face as everyone broke out into delighted cheers, the streamers and confetti flying as they threw their arms up and swarmed us at once, taking pictures and smiling and laughing. Embarrassed, I buried my face in Zhou Mi's chest, my cheeks bright red.

“I hate you.” I whined into his chest, clearly not meaning it judging by the happy tone of my voice.

Zhou Mi just laughed some more. “I love you too.” While everyone was busy having fun with Yesung and Wookie's turtle races, Hyukjae and Donghae's wrestling, poker with Heechul, Geng, and Sungmin with Kyuhyun hugging his waist absently, and video games with Shindong, Kibum, and Siwon, Zhou Mi and I sat down at the table with Eeteuk and Kangin.

Eeteuk smiled at me while holding Kangin's hand. “Are you happy, Henry? You gave everyone quite a scare with that letter opener, we would like to kindly ask you to never do that again.”

I chuckled, hardly able to believe that I'd had a breakdown less than an hour before. “I'm sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” I bowed my head respectfully. “I won't do it again, I promise.”

“Don't worry about it, kid.” Kangin said cheerfully, his eyes disappearing as he smiled broadly at me. “We're just glad we could pull all this together so quickly, and right after that little...ordeal.”

I twirled my fingers sheepishly. “I'm really sorry...”

“It's okay, Henry.” Zhou Mi assured me, taking my hand in his as he turned his body towards mine. “There's something else I wanted to talk to you about as well.” I smiled and nodded hardly noticing as Kangin and Eeteuk quietly slipped away seeing as though I was completely mesmerized my Zhou Mi's beautiful eyes. “Well, I’ve been researching Alzheimer's treatment center in hopes that I could find some way to fight off your memory loss. I found one in America that has had lots of success in the memory department through a type of stem cell research and I emailed them about you.” My eyes had been gradually widening in surprise as he'd been speaking, and now I held my breath as I waited for him to go on. “I got a call this morning from the head of their facility, and they are very interested in your case. They've invited us to America in order for you to get treatment, they will pay for everything, all they need is your consent.” He grabbed my shoulders in excitement. “Henry, they have successfully reversed the process of memory loss in almost all of their patients! They can help you with your memories!”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. “So...” I murmured. “There's...hope?”

Zhou Mi nodded and pulled me to him in a tight hug. “Yes. You're going to be fine.”

~ ~ ~

Two days later, everyone was coming to see Zhou Mi and I off at the airport. We were all piled into two huge vans, Zhou Mi driving one and Geng driving the other. I was currently sandwiched between Wookie and Sungmin, both of whom were currently clinging to my arms tearfully, sniffling occasionally. I would miss everyone yes, but Sungmin and I had become very close since the fire, spending lots of time together just chatting about random, unimportant things.

But it was Wookie who I would miss the most. He was, without a doubt, my best friend on Earth. He and I had grown impossibly close after all the time we had spent together, and saying goodbye to him after all of those times was definitely going to break my heart. Thank God Zhou Mi was coming with me or else there was no way I would be able to do it. The treatment we were going for would take two years, so we'd already had our possessions shipped the day before, before the wedding.

I smiled as I though about it, remembering how handsome Zhou Mi had looked while he was waiting for me down the aisle. The ceremony had been small, we didn't go to a church, we didn't invite many people, just some of the people from the hospital and Siwon's family. Siwon provided the pastor, an old family friend of his, and Sungmin and Wookie had made the cake for us. Heechul and Eeteuk had bossed everyone around in the commons to get the place cleaned and decorated, placing the chairs in rows and bringing in some flowers that they had absolutely insisted we needed.

Zhou Mi and I had been kept separate the whole day, forbidden from seeing each other until the ceremony, a torturous act from my perspective. But Heechul had insisted that the wedding would be so much better if we didn't see each other until we were actually at the altar. I had been dressed in a white suit, and Zhou Mi in black and when I first saw him waiting for me I was blown away by how amazingly handsome he was. Our eyes were locked the whole time, not looking away from each other for anything, and when he kissed me, it was pure magic. It was innocent, just him leaning down to kiss me on the lips, his hand rising up to cup the back of my neck and mine lifting to wrap around his arm gently, our other hands laced together. When we parted, I couldn’t look away from his face to smile at our guests, and neither could he.

It was perfect.

And now here we were on our way to the airport, two teary men latched on to my arms, ready to say goodbye to our lives. I was excited, don’t get me wrong, but I was a little afraid of what the future might have in store for us.

“We're here.” I heard Zhou Mi say, and Wookie and Sungmin wailed a little as we had to get out of the car. Everyone waited back while Zhou Mi and I got our boarding passes, and then swarmed us again as we all went through security, a very long, painful process with fifteen people to worry about. Zhou Mi carried my backpack for me and had his bag on one hand, the other holding on to mine as we walked to our gate. All the others trailed after us like lost puppies, drawing attention to themselves with their matching shirts and crying faces. Everyone was sad, even Kyuhyun and Shindong were sniffling, but would deny it if you said anything. Wookie held my free hand as we walked, crying openly as he clutched his bunny to his chest in his other hand, and Sungmin held the back of my shirt and sniffled loudly every few seconds.

When we reached the gate, and saw that they were boarding already, Zhou Mi and I turned and faced our family.

“I-I will miss you guys.” I whimpered, squeezing Wookie's hand and looking at each face through the haze of tears. I looked at Eeteuk and remembered how he had comforted me when Zhou Mi and I fought. I looked at Kangin and remembered his advice, despite how unorthodox it was. I looked at Hyukjae and Donghae and remembered their childishness and how genuinely nice they were. I looked at Heechul and remembered how all his personalities had helped me, at least once. I looked at Geng and remembered him protecting me from Jonghyun. I looked at Kibum and remembered him letting me cry into his long sleeves when I was upset. I looked at Sungmin and remembered him sneaking around with Heebum and causing a fuss. I looked at Kyuhyun and remembered his face when I helped him find a gift for Sungmin. I looked at Yesung and remembered our bonding time with Ddangkoma. I looked at Siwon and remembered him opening up to me when I accepted his antics. I looked at Shindong and remembered when he told me about his past. I looked at Wookie and remembered how on my birthday he screamed at Jonghyun and shocked everyone with his colorful vocabulary.

I looked at them and remembered.

“I hope...that I wont forget everything you've done for me.” I cried, tears forming as I hugged each and every body in turn, attempting to memorize everything about them. Zhou Mi followed after me, also hugging everyone as he too teared up. Once we had all embraced and said goodbye, Zhou Mi picked up our bags again and led me to the gate, handing over our boarding passes to be scanned. We walked down the hall towards the plane, and just before we turned the corner I heard a shout.

“Henry!” I whirled around and saw, to my surprise, Heechul, crying hard and clutching Geng's hand in a death-grip as he shouted. “You better not forget us or-or I’ll never forgive you!”

I choked at his words. “I won't!” I sobbed, waving goodbye. “I promise to get better!”

Every face was wet with tears, and when the door was shut and I saw the last of them, I couldn’t hold back all the tears, and Zhou Mi had to lead me onto the plane. Even the flight attendants had watery eyes as they heard the exchange. Zhou Mi led me to our seat, thankfully we had it to ourselves, and stowed our bags before sitting down and taking my hand in his. I looked up at him, my eyes full of emotion.

“I know.” He whispered, raising my hand to press a kiss to my knuckles. “We will see them again, and then everything will be perfect.” I cried still though, even though I knew I would see them again, and that when I did everything would be okay. Zhou Mi held my hand as the plane took off, and I pressed my face to the window as we left beloved Seoul behind.

It was a new chapter of our lives, and together with my husband we would cure my disease. I wasn't scared anymore. There was nothing to be afraid of. And as I closed my eyes on Zhou Mi's shoulder somewhere over the Pacific, I fell asleep knowing that everything would be alright. We would return to Seoul two years from then and reunite with our family, and then we would go back to our crazy lives. After all, we didn’t need the stability that normal married couples had. Unstable was just like we liked it.

NOBODY PANIC there is still the two-part epilogue that I will be posting in a few minutes! Don't freak out!!