At age twenty-one, I was finally getting my first job. I, Henry Lau, a college graduate with a degree in social services, had gotten a job at the Han Psychiatric Ward in downtown Seoul. When it became known in my graduating class that the ward was replacing an employee and requested a young person with a degree in social services, everyone jumped at the chance. The director of the ward, Han Geng, came to the college to interview, and the line to the office he was in was practically a mile long! When I got the letter saying I was accepted, I barely believed it.

But here I was, ready to start my life working at the Han Psychiatric Ward. It was thrilling.

“No turning back now Henry.” I said to myself, trying to calm my nerves as I walked up to the building. When I walked through the glass doors, I found myself in what looked like a waiting room, with a little sofa, and a coffee table, and a little tree in the corner. I walked up to the desk that was encased in glass with a window and a door to the hall behind it where a small woman was sitting flipping through a Vogue catalog. However, when I got closer and saw her close up, I realized that it was, in fact, a man.

A beautiful man, with silky black hair that hung to his shoulders and big soulful caramel colored eyes. As I was staring he raised his eyes to mine and smiled. “Hello, can I help you?” He asked politely, his voice sweet.

I blinked. “U-Um, I’m Henry Lau? I’m supposed to start work today?” He continued to stare at me for a moment before he carefully set the magazine on the desk and stood up.

“Let me go get Geng for you, I'll be right back okay?” He said, exiting out the door into the hallway. “Geng, someone needs to see you.” He called before reappearing moments later with a tall man with dyed reddish-brown hair and black framed glassed. His eyes lit up when he saw me.

“Ah, Henry!” he exclaimed coming forward to shake my hand through the window. “Right on time, I love punctuality!” After he released my hand, he turned and ruffled the pretty man's hair, causing him to squeak and swat at his hand in protest. “Thank you for getting me Heechul, go chat with Zhou Mi okay?” The man, Heechul, smiled and nodded before disappearing around the corner. Han Geng turned back to me and grinned. “Well excellent.” He announced. “Go around to the gate, I'll buzz you in.” I nodded and shuffled over to the gate that looked like it belonged in a prison, waiting patiently for the buzz before pushing through into a long hallway. Han Geng met me there and made sure that the gate was shut all the way before clapping a hand on my shoulder and startling me. “This way, I'll introduce you to the patients you'll be in charge of.”

I nodded and followed him off down the hall until we reached a larger room with a big TV on the wall with a colorful rug over the maroon carpet in front of it and bean-bag chairs. There were also tables and a circle of empty chairs that was probably used for group therapy and support groups. “This is the commons area.” Han Geng told me gesturing to the room as we walked across to one of the four connecting hallways. “The patients that are in better condition are allowed to congregate here for most of the day. Usually, most of the patients rooms are left unlocked, except for at night, because they are sane enough to interact with each other.” I followed him to the connecting hall that was the furthest to the left and stopped behind him at the first room.

“Each hall has three rooms each with one occupant, except for this one.” He opened the door and nodded towards the rooms interior, wanting me to go in. Cautiously, I inched inside the room and was startled to see two men in straight jackets rolling around all over the floor of the padded room. One had short dark hair with a cowlick right in the middle of his forehead, and the other had brown long-ish, wavy hair that hung in his eyes. When they noticed me they both froze for a moment and stared at me, wide-eyed with child-like curiosity, before jumping to their feet and running up to me, getting all close to my face and studying me.

“Who's this Geng??” The longer haired one asked, sniffing my shoulder. I shrunk away from them slightly, a little afraid

“Boys, this is Henry.” Han Geng told them in a voice you used when you talked to children. “Henry, this is Donghae and Hyukjae, but you can just call him Hyukkie.” He leaned in closer to my ear. “They have child minds, they have the minds of elementary school kids.” I nodded in understanding and yelped when Hyukkie crouched down and sniffed my pants pocket.

I jumped back slightly when Donghae got down there too and they both stared at me with puppy dog eyes. “You have chocolate??” Hyukkie drooled with a face of pure joy, mirrored by Donghae. I glanced at Han Geng for a moment, getting an approving nod, and reached into my pocket, pulling out a chocolate bar. The second the whole thing was out of my pocket, Donghae snatched it in his teeth and ran off to eat it in a corner, followed closely by Hyukkie.

Han Geng chuckled. “Now they will love you forever.” He told me as he tugged slightly on my sleeve and I followed him out of the room, locking the door behind us. “This is one of the rooms that remains locked unless they have supervision.” He instructed me. “They are not allowed to roam the ward alone, understood?” I nodded quickly and he smiled. “Good. Next is Kibum. He has chronic depression, but he's heavily medicated so he's technically allowed to leave his room.”

“What do you mean technically?” I asked as he stopped outside the door.

He pursed his lips, as if he was trying to think of how to answer. “Well, he just chooses not to.” He pushed open the door, revealing a dark room, lit only by a tiny lamp on the bedside table. The bedsheets were black, there was nothing on the walls, and the only thing that gave any sign that someone lived in there was a book on the pillow that said JOURNAL across the front in pen in big, jagged letters. On the other side of the bed was a dark shape sitting on the floor against the wall. It was a person, with their knees pulled to their chest and their head bowed. When the light from the hall struck the figure, he raised his head, revealing a head of shaggy black hair and the saddest human being I had ever seen. His eyes were huge and black, and were full of so much sorrow that it just nearly broke my heart to look at them. He was wearing ripped jeans, and a black and gray striped sweater over what looked like a black t-shirt, which just made him look like an even more depressed person.

“Kibum, say hello to Henry.” Han Geng said. “He's your new caretaker.” I waved to him awkwardly.

“...Hi...” Kibum mumbled in a sad voice, lowering his eyes to the floor. It was like the room was saturated with sadness.

“Did you take your pills today Kibum?” Han Geng said in a stern voice, crossing his arms over his chest. Kibum didn’t say anything, and Han Geng frowned severely. “I told you to always take your pills!”

“...But they taste funny...” He whined, squeezing his legs with his arms.

“TAKE YOUR DAMN PILLS!” He yelled, pointing at the little cup on the bedside table that had two little blue pills in it.

“FINE!” Kibum wailed, throwing the pills back and glaring at us. “I'll just go slit my wrists then because nobody loves me!” Han Geng rolled his eyes and pulled me out of the room, closing the door behind him.

“Shouldn't you have someone watch him?” I exclaimed as we continued down the hall. “He just said he was going to kill himself!”

He laughed at me. “He won't, he hates taking his meds. He says that every time I have to argue with him to get him to take them.” He smiled at me, stopping at the last room in that hallway. I watched stunned as he simply brushed off the suicide threat and smiled at me. “This is Kangin. To put it bluntly, he's a crazy -addict.” He opened the door and I gaped at what I saw.

There were two guys on the bed. One, with black bed head, was pinned down by the other, who had a buzz-cut with symbols shaved into it, and was wailing as the bigger man tugged at his clothes. “SAVE ME!!” The smaller man cried, swatting at the other's hands that were trying to pull off his pants at the moment.

Han Geng rushed over and grabbed the bigger man around the waist with both arms before throwing him to the floor. “KIM KANGIN!” He shouted, staring him down as he cowered on the floor. “I told you that Eeteuk was NOT allowed in your room unless someone was there to supervise!”

The man sighed and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. “You know he likes it Geng, I don’t know why he insists on whining every single time we have .” He smirked and winked at Eeteuk who was now covering himself with a sheet and smiling sheepishly. I blinked, confused. “You like it, don't you Teukie?”

Eeteuk blushed and nodded shyly, covering his face with his hands. Kangin smiled at Han Geng. “Told you.”

Han Geng sighed and swiped the back of his hand across his brow. “You have to obey my rules Kangin, and my rules are Eeteuk is not allowed in your room without supervision.”

Kangin opened his mouth to protest, but Eeteuk spoke first. “But Geng...we like it...” He pouted at Han Geng, giving him his very best please-let-me face. I stared at him, puzzled at how he referred to himself as we.

“You were the one screaming for help.” Han Geng reminded him.

“I know, but the rest of us like it, it's just him.” Eeteuk replied, smiling.

Han Geng sighed again, this time in defeat. “Very well. Anyway, the reason I came in here.” He turned and gestured to me. “This is Henry, he's going to be your new caretaker. Henry, this is Kangin and Eeteuk. Eeteuk is a schizophrenic.” He tole me. I nodded in understanding.

Suddenly, Eeteuk jumped off the bed and came to stare at my face, his gaze unfocused. I looked up at him with wide eyes. A second later, his eyes popped into focused and he grinned, raising both his hands to cup my cheeks, startling me. “The voices like you~!” He whispered before going back to curl up on Kangin's bed, leaving me there, stunned.

As we were exiting the room, I ignored the image of Kangin crawling back over Eeteuk's body, and followed Han Geng out of the hallway to the next one. “Well, this is Eeteuk's room.” He said, waving his hand at the first door we came to. “He and Kangin are allowed to roam the ward since their conditions aren't serious.” We stopped at the second door. “This is Yesung's room, he doesn't have to be locked in either. He's a pyromaniac, so just keep him away from matches, lighters, and magnifying glasses.”

He opened the door, and I was a little surprised to see someone sleeping with a huge turtle stuffed animal, a turtle bedspread, a big tortoise wandering around on the floor, and a huge aquarium full of a multitude of smaller creatures swimming and sunning themselves in the sunlight pouring in from the window. The man had impossibly messy dark brown hair and he was clutching the giant stuffed turtle like it was his lifeline. The tortoise appeared at my feet, the size of a small dog, and slowly craned its neck to look up at me with its glassy black eyes.

“I gave him this guy to distract him from starting fires.” Han Geng whispered, kneeling down to the top of the tortoise's head. “He started bringing in every turtle he found, and then he ordered a box full of them.”

I kneeled down beside him and tentatively touched the shell. “They sell boxes of turtles?”

“I guess they do.” He stood up again and urged the tortoise back into the room with his foot before closing the door. “Since he's asleep I'll just introduce you to him later. Let's go meet our resident ball of sunshine.” I watched quizzically as he walked down to the next door, which, unlike the others, was made of metal and had a slot on the bottom for food to go through, and a tiny sliding piece that revealed the interior of the room after he opened it. He turned and looked me in the eye, suddenly very serious. “I need you to understand something. This patient is dangerous. Under no circumstances are you to enter this cell.” It didn’t slip past me that he said cell instead of room, and I felt the intimidation. “Always check to see where he is before you feed him okay? If you can't see him, have either me or Zhou Mi present, do you understand?”

That was really scary, but I nodded before peeking into the room through the slot in the door. Inside the room, there was no bed, no bedside table, and no lamp, just the sunlight through the window illuminating the fort built in the corner. It was made out of what looked like sticks and strips of fabric, and crouched inside it was a muscular figure dressed in cameo and wearing an army helmet. His hair was short and black, and his eyes were rock hard and angry as they glared at me.

“Damn you North Koreans, let me out of this ing hole and fight me like men!!” He yelled, slamming his fist on the ground, ignoring the sickening sound it made when it struck, despite the fact that it was carpeted.

I turned to look at Han Geng, waiting for an explanation. “He hit his head in a car accident and now he suffers from disillusionment. He thinks he's in the middle of the Korean War.” He leaned forward to speak through the slot. “Siwon, this is Henry. He's going to take care of you from now on.”

“ you, you communist scum!!” He replied. Han Geng just sighed and slid the slot closed before leading me out to the next hallway.

“Just ignore him, he's not very friendly obviously.” We walked past the first door and Han Geng told me it was Heechul's room, and since we had already met, we moved on to the second door. “This is Kyuhyun's room. He doesn’t have to be locked in either since he's medicated. He is bi-polar, and get's very hostile when he's angry, so try to stay on his good side. He also has insomnia which doesn’t help improve his mood.” He let me open the door myself and I blinked in intimidation as I took in the rather threatening scene before me.

The room was dark. The only lamp was on a small table in the corner, but it was off, and the window was covered with a black sheet, blocking the light and shrouding the room in darkness. There was no bed in the room either, just a black leather chair with a man sitting in it, looking almost murderous. His hair was dark brown and messy, but it wasn’t long enough to hide the harsh chips of black ice that were his eyes. His arms rested on the armrests of the chair, his fingers clenched around the edge and his legs were slightly apart as he glared at the floor. However, when the light from the hall illuminated his body, he lifted his chin to study me. I felt like his eyes were daggers, pricking my skin all over before flicking over to Han Geng.

“What do you want.” He rumbled, giving me chills, and not the pleasant ones.

“This is Henry, he's the new orderly in charge of you.” Han Geng replied, watching Kyuhyun closely, as if he was afraid that he would jump up and attack me. “Say hello.”

Kyuhyun shifted his gaze to me, and I nearly cringed. “Hello Henry.” He said, but it sounded more like a growl. “It's nice to meet you.” He raised his arm and pointed at the hallway behind us. “Now get out.”

We exited the room without another word.

Han Geng shrugged. “He'll warm up to you eventually. This way, one more patient to meet!” We stopped in front of the last door. “This is our most recently admitted patient, we took him on this year. He's a heroin addict, and he's detoxing at the moment, so he is restrained and his room is to remain locked until he is well enough to interact with the other patients.” He opened the door revealing a man who was strapped to a hospital bed. The left side of his head was a black buzz-cut, and the other half was longer and snow-white, hanging over his eye. He looked sickly. His skin was pale and gray-ish, and covered in a sheen of sweat, accentuating the bags under his eyes. He looked like a detoxing addict. He thrashed on the bed and tossed his head in our direction glaring at Han Geng.

“GIVE ME DRUGS!” He screamed, arching his back in pain and clenching his fists until his knuckled were white and looked like they were about to snap.

“Sungmin this is Henry, he's in charge of you from now on.” Han Geng responded, ignoring the ridiculous request.

“Just give me something you !” He wailed, crying out in protest when Han Geng simply closed the door on him and led me quietly out of the hall way to the fourth and final one.

“You just ignore him like that?” I asked softly, feeling sorry for the poor man. I knew I shouldn’t feel like that because he did it to himself, but I couldn’t help it, he sounded so...tortured.

“There's nothing we can do for him until he's done detoxing.” He said sadly. “Once that's done, he will be able to leave his room and properly enter the rehabilitation program.” We entered the last hall and passed by the first room. “This hall only has two residents. First on is Ryeowook, but you can just call him Wookie. He has turrets syndrome. He doesn’t need to be locked in during the day.” He knocked on the door before entering. “Wookie, this is Henry. He's the new caretaker.”

Sitting on the floor doing a jigsaw puzzle was a small boy in sky-blue pajamas with clouds on them and hugging a large bunny stuffed animal in his arms. His hair was a warm shade of brown and was swept over to the left, hanging slightly in his innocent eyes. He was sitting on a fluffy yellow blanket that he probably took off his bed, and was playing cheerful music on a small white and pink radio on the bedside table. Compared to the previous rooms I had visited, this one felt warm and happy, no signs of sadness at all. The room screamed cuteness. He looked up and smiled sweetly.

“It's nice to – – meet you Henry.” He said in a sweet voice, stunning me a bit. “I hope we can be – MOTHERER – really good friends.” I simply stared at him for a moment, not able to process the sweet voice and cute face to the cuss words he was spewing right and left. He coughed and then smiled again. “Sorry, I haven’t...talked to anybody yet today and...so I hadn’t had the chance...to practice restraining myself.” He paused every couple of words, and I was guessing that it was to keep himself from blabbing anything bad. “I'm usually...better at keeping myself...from saying bad words.” He stood up and walked up to me, holding his bunny in his arms. I smiled shyly down at him, since he was shorter than me, a rare find. All of a sudden, he hugged me tightly. “We're going to be...best friends.” He grinned, pulling away and going back to his puzzle, waving as we exited his room.

“Wookie gets lonely here.” Han Geng told me as we moved on to the last room. “He is totally sane and doesn’t need to be here, and not many of the patients are very good company. It's good that you are here, he needs someone to talk to.” I nodded, and instantly knew that Wookie and I would be friends. “This last guy isn't friendly either. He's an alcoholic, and he is pretty violent even though he obviously can't drink here. His name is Shindong, and because of his aggression, he stays in his room.”

The door opened to plain walls, a plain bed, and a plain folding chair next to the window where a man was sitting. He was chubby from the years of drinking, and his face was thoughtful as he stared out the window into the yard. His eyes were a deep brown and his hair seemed to defy gravity and drift up in the front, while his hands were folded peacefully in his lap. However, the second we entered the room, his face hardened and he turned to glare at us, an action I was becoming accustomed to. “What is it Geng, you know I don't like visitors.”

“This isn't a visitor Shindong.” He said. “This is the new caretaker, Henry. Say hello to him.”

Shindong scowled at me, making me shuffle my feet in discomfort. “Get the hell out of my room kid.” He snapped, turning back towards the window. I arched my eyebrows in surprise and nodded silently, backing out of the room where Han Geng was waiting.

“He's...friendly.” I said slowly, following him out into the commons area.

Han Geng laughed. “Oh yeah, just don't worry about it, he isn't nice to anyone.” He turned to smile at me. “So you think you can survive in this mad house Henry?”

I shrugged with a shaky smile. “I have to sir, this is sort of my dream job.”

“Call me Geng, everybody does.” He said. “Let's go check out the yard, you still need to meet Zhou Mi, he's going to be your partner. He leads the group therapy sessions.” I nodded and followed him back down the hall that led to the office. However, as we were passing a set of doors that opened to a large event hall, a gray cat bolted through my legs, making me stumble. And just as I was regaining my balance, a tall, slim figure came running after the animal and crashed into me, knocking me to the floor.

“I'm so sorry!” The man exclaimed, picking himself off of me and reaching a hand down to help me up. “I was chasing Heebum for Heechul and I wasn't looking where I was going and...” He smiled at me. “You must be Henry, my new partner.”

Geng nodded and grinned. “Yep, we were just looking for you actually, he just finished meeting all the patients...” I stopped listening after that, too caught up in the beauty that was Zhou Mi.

He was tall, at least a head taller than me, and his hair was shiny and neat, and gracefully framed his face and curled at his neck, and his amber eyes were friendly and soothing. I felt as if I could get lost in his eyes. I watched with wide eyes as he lifted one elegant hand to gently scratch the back of his head, laughing at something Geng had said, and then as he replaced it back on his hip, which drew my eyes to his slim waist. He was wearing a thin, long-sleeved shirt which did nothing to hide his nicely toned arms and torso, nor his broad shoulders and his abs. My gaze trailed down his long, mouth-watering legs that were clad in tight skinny jeans that made it clear that he was...well endowed. By the time my eyes returned to his face I already knew what the warm and fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach was.

I was in love.