Sanghyuk couldn’t recall when he started falling through worlds. It was like his first word or walking; he knew he hadn’t been able to do it the second he was born, but he couldn’t remember learning how. He wished he knew though. He wanted to know how this power of his came to be so that he could stop it.

Somehow, Sanghyuk could just find the weak point between two words. A place one could use to jump between. But his falls were almost never intentional. He almost never wanted to jump. It was like…..like something inside of him decided ‘well, this world no longer interests me’ it lead him to a weak point. He then would take a step and just……

Fall.

Sometimes, when he had a reason, Sanghyuk went looking for those weak points. But that didn’t happen often. In fact, it only happened when he was trying to get back to someone. Which never worked by the way. In his twenty six years or so of doing this falling, Sanghyuk had never once returned to a world. It was why he tried to avoid making connections with people.

Once Sanghyuk realized that he was falling between world, that he was destined to lose everyone he cared for with each fall, he did his best to not form bonds with anyone. He just couldn’t handle the horrible feeling of leaving people he cared for. But despite this personal rule, he’d still found five people that he’d connected with.

First there was Hongbin.

Then Jaehwan.

After that was Wonsik.

And after him was Taekwoon.

Currently there was Hakyeon.

Hongbin had befriended him when he was ten. Hongbin was two years older and very much in tune with his feelings and what he was attracted to. In contrast, Sanghyuk was just a stupid ten year old boy dealing with his whole ‘falling through worlds’ problem. He hadn’t been paying attention to his feelings and he defiantly wasn’t paying attention to Hongbin’s obvious feelings for him. He felt bad about that.

Hongbin had done everything he could to befriend Sanghyuk. And even though Sanghyuk didn’t want any friends he would part with, he couldn’t help but open up to the boy with dimples. A part of Sanghyuk felt that paying attention to how Hongbin felt was the least he could do to pay him back for that. But Sanghyuk didn’t notice, he just accepted Hongbin’s friendship and didn’t realize until many years later what all those longing looks and lingering touches meant.

He wished he’d addressed Hongbin’s feelings before he fell.

Jaehwan didn’t suffer the same fate.

Maybe it was because Sanghyuk was older by that point, but when he caught Jaehwan looking at him longingly Sanghyuk knew exactly what Jaehwan was thinking. Or maybe it was because teenage Sanghyuk was finished dealing with the emotional mess falling through worlds turned him into. Regardless of the reason, Sanghyuk knew that Jaehwan was interested in him and he knew that he returned the feelings.

At the time, he was foolish enough to let those feelings lead him. Or maybe it was because he could never say ‘no’ to Jaehwan. Not when he gave that adorable pout and looked at you with those big, brown eyes. At the time, Sanghyuk didn’t regret it in the slightest. Years later, he still didn’t really regret it. He just regretted the pain Jaehwan probably experienced when Sanghyuk fell into another world, effectively ending that relationship.

Sanghyuk had pretended it didn’t hurt, he forced himself to keep going as he had been. But it did hurt to lose his first love like that. But Sanghyuk was stubborn and refused to show his pain. He forced those feelings to the back of his mind. Left them to sit with his thoughts about losing his parents before he could even remember them.

Wonsik had been the one to make him unbury them.

It was part of why losing Wonsik had hurt so much more than any other loss.

Sanghyuk had fallen right into the middle of Wonsik’s living room. It wasn’t the first time that Sanghyuk had done something like that, but it was the first time that the family didn’t freak out. Turned out the family were magic users and thus were no strangers to the idea of people traveling through worlds. Although they were surprised to learn the background of Sanghyuk’s ability. Of all the people they had met who traveled between worlds, Sanghyuk was the youngest and he was the only one who did it without wanting to.

Wonsik’s father had said it was a sign of Sanghyuk holding great power and he took it upon himself to help Sanghyuk learn magic.

“After all,” the warlock had laughed, “one day you might enter a world where you need to defend yourself. It wouldn’t do for you to be unable to do so.”

And thus, Sanghyuk started to train alongside Wonsik.

Maybe that was where their relationship really began.

Wonsik had shown great interest in Sanghyuk from the second he busted up the family’s coffee table. And when he learned about Sanghyuk’s ability he’d been all questions, tripping over himself to learn all about the worlds Sanghyuk had seen. But it wasn’t until they started to train together that Wonsik started to really notice Sanghyuk for who he was. For his thoughts and feelings instead of his ability and experiences.

Wonsik worked hard to make Sanghyuk smile each day, to make him laugh. He helped Sanghyuk as best he could with his feelings of regret over leaving people he cared about. And eventually their friendship changed into something more. Sanghyuk had been reluctant to go beyond friends, he hadn’t wanted a repeat of what happened with Jaehwan, but Wonsik wasn’t one to just give up. Sanghyuk was a bit embarrassed to admit to how quickly he started kissing back.

“You’ll be hurt,” Sanghyuk would often whisper, fingers tracing invisible paths along Wonsik’s sides and hips, “when I leave, you’ll regret being with me like this.”

“I don’t think I will,” Wonsik would always respond, trailing kisses along Sanghyuk’s neck and shoulders, “I’d regret not being with you while I had the chance, though.”

Wonsik’s parents hadn’t liked their relationship, but they respected their son’s choices enough to keep silent. But Sanghyuk still knew though, he still saw the sadness in their eyes when they looked at the couple. He hoped that they forgave him when he fell while out on a walk with Wonsik.

He hoped that Wonsik got over him, found someone else.

Someone better.

Someone who wasn’t going to leave.

Someone who could at least come back if he did.

Sanghyuk had tried desperately to return to Wonsik. He forced his way through so many worlds he lost count. He didn’t even realize how long he did this until he woke up one day and realized that he wasn’t an eighteen year old any more, he was a grown man of twenty one years old. That hurt far more then Sanghyuk could describe.

In fact, it broke Sanghyuk.

Taekwoon found him like that.

Sanghyuk had been sitting on a park bench shortly after giving up trying to get back to Wonsik. It was raining and Sanghyuk knew he was probably going to get sick, but he just couldn’t seem to make himself care. He felt so cold on the inside, like his heart was frozen. Never before had a fall left him feeling this way and he’d lost many people before Wonsik.

This was how Taekwoon found him.

The other man just silently walked over and stood close enough for his umbrella to cover both of them. Sanghyuk couldn’t remember what he told Taekwoon, nor could he recall what Taekwoon said in return. All he knew was that he found himself sleeping in Taekwoon’s guest room that night and for many nights after that.

For a while, the pair just coexisted in silence. Taekwoon would watch to make sure Sanghyuk didn’t do anything crazy or stupid, but there was nothing beyond that. Sanghyuk just went through the motions, eating and drinking and sleeping enough to keep him alive, but he was just waiting for when he fell again. But then one day that changed.

Sanghyuk still don’t know what inspired this change. He just woke up one day and Taekwoon was talking to him, was trying to find out how to fix him. Taekwoon didn’t seem to know what had changed either. Every time Sanghyuk asked he got a different answer.

“I got sick of seeing you look so broken.”

“Helping you is the right thing to do.”

“I noticed you smile at something on the television a few days before and decided I wanted to see you smile again.”

Sanghyuk figured that the exact reason didn’t matter, not really. All that mattered was that Taekwoon had helped him. While Sanghyuk didn’t come out of it completely fixed, his was still less broken and sometimes that was all that mattered. All Sanghyuk needed was to be a little less broken. And in return he liked to think he helped Taekwoon a little bit too.

At some point, they started to kiss. Sometime after that they started going out on dates. Sanghyuk wasn’t sure when exactly they started sleeping together, he just knew that they had. He knew that Taekwoon’s feelings were probably love, but all Sanghyuk felt was a deep fondness. Taekwoon said that he got it, that he understood why, but sometimes Sanghyuk wondered if that was truth.

He felt horrible about it. He still loved Wonsik even though he couldn’t have him, yet there he was taking up space in Taekwoon’s bed and heart. It was Wonsik that he dreamed about, yet there he was kissing Taekwoon, making love to him. He felt like he was using Taekwoon and he was disgusted with himself. Taekwoon would assure him that it was alright, that everything was fine and that Sanghyuk wasn’t disgusting or horrible.

A part of Sanghyuk was glad when he fell.

He knew Taekwoon would move on. He’d seen the guy next door when he looked at Taekwoon. The guy was a good man, Sanghyuk knew he would love Taekwoon like he deserved. He’d love him like Sanghyuk couldn’t. He’d asked him to look after Taekwoon if anything happened to him. The guy didn’t understand, but maybe he did after he and Taekwoon witnessed Sanghyuk’s fall as he entered Taekwoon’s apartment.

Hakyeon was different from all of them.

He was just like Sanghyuk.

He fell through the worlds without meaning to all the time.

“You,” Hakyeon had gasped the second he saw Sanghyuk’s landing, “you’re like me.”

“Like you?” Sanghyuk and questioned.

“You fall through worlds like I do.”

Neither really knew what do to for a while after that. Where they supposed to get together or something? Because both agreed that finding someone who could do the same thing…..it sure felt like fate was telling them “you two will be together. Don’t like it? Well screw you I don’t care.” It was why they tried to avoid each other for so long. A couple of years if Sanghyuk was being upfront and honest.

But even with the attempts to avoid each other, they seemed to always cross paths. If Sanghyuk left a world, he only had a couple of days or so before Hakyeon showed up. The same thing happened when Hakyeon left a world. It was rather annoying to Sanghyuk. He couldn’t help but question where Hakyeon had been when he was a kid trying to deal with losing everyone. The part of him that still resented losing people – like Wonsik – took Hakyeon’s appearance and fate’s reluctance to separate them extremely hard.

Eventually though, they found themselves getting closer.

It happened after Hakyeon connected with some guy and had to leave him. They had a good relationship, both loved each other so very much……..and then Hakyeon fell. Sanghyuk could still remember the other man’s sobs when he found him. He knew that feeling of loss so very well and he was quick to sit down beside Hakyeon and offer his shoulder.

They started as friends, bonded over their lost loves. Sanghyuk told Hakyeon all about Wonsik and Hakyeon shared everything he knew about his love. They talked about the scars they’d gotten from falling into more dangerous worlds and Sanghyuk helped Hakyeon learn a few defensive spells. By Sanghyuk’s twenty fifth year, they were starting to fall in love.

“I’m scared,” Hakyeon had whispered the night of Sanghyuk’s birthday.

“What of?” Sanghyuk questioned.

“Of what I’m starting to feel for you,” was the reply and Sanghyuk wasn’t surprised at all by the bluntness of Hakyeon’s words. Hakyeon wasn’t one to beat around the bush.

“I feel the same,” was all Sanghyuk could say in return.

They had both spent so much time leaving those they cared for…….the fear that it would happen again was a bit overpowering. Sure, fate seemed happy to keep them together for now, but what would fate want in three months? Or a year? Would fate grow sick of whatever happiness they found together and decide to part them? Or would they be safe and together for eternity?

They stayed that way for about a year; feelings growing all the time, but neither one was willing to make a move. They were both far too scared to tempt fate. Too scared to destroy the little bit of happiness they’d managed to hold onto.

But eventually, someone had to crack.

Sanghyuk had assumed it would be Hakyeon. Hakyeon had figured the same. He was the one more in touch with his emotions. But both were surprised when Sanghyuk cracked first, taking Hakyeon against the kitchen table and taking him again in an actual bed. Once done, the pair had both feared that the other would change their mind. Neither did. They had crossed that line they had drawn and changing their minds now wouldn’t stop fate from parting them if that was what it wanted to do. If fate did part them, then they might as well enjoy the time they had left together.

“Do you think this will end?” Hakyeon questioned as the pair watched the night sky together from a grass covered hill.

“I don’t know,” Sanghyuk sighed, running his fingers through Hakyeon’s hair.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Hakyeon sighed, cuddling against Sanghyuk and basking in his warmth.

“I wish we could, too,” Sanghyuk replied.

Seconds later, Sanghyuk felt himself falling.

A/N: so there are two ending for this story. I couldnt pick which was better, so I wrote both. I'll post both (don't worry about that) but before I do.....I'm thinking......what ending would you guys like more: here.