*pict belongs to Park Sora

After the fight they had during dinner time, Sera didn’t say much and just let him spell out all of his worries about the bad prospect of her carrying their child. He hated the way he sounded, he hated the way he talked and he hated the way she glared at him with such fear in her eyes—but he must be the one that draws the line, Sera is too overwhelmed with the prospect of being a mom and Kyuhyun had to be the bad person to keep her grounded.

His world seems to crumble beneath his feet once he opened his eyes the next morning and notices Han Sera is no longer on his side. He searched for her around their house and she’s nowhere to be found. Kyuhyun has been running around their neighborhood for the third time and he still hasn’t got a glimpse of Han Sera, judging from her missing coat and boots she must have gone somewhere. Kyuhyun tries to call her but her phone is turned off and he tried to call his mother but she’s as surprised as he is when she knew Sera’s missing.

Last night Sera didn’t say anything nor defending herself and she just nodded helplessly with a blank stare in her eyes. It broke his heart to see her like that and he’d completely understand if she hates him and chose to run away, but she’s not in her best condition and she’s pregnant, anything could happen to her and he will curse himself if something bad happened to his wife.

He returns to their house to look for some kind of clue about her whereabouts, a little bit of him wishes that Sera would leave him a note or at least a message but his heart sinks even more when he realized that she didn’t even bring her wallet. Kyuhyun covers his face with his hands cursing continuously to himself for being the bad guy he was last night. He knows Sera best and he knows if she’s running away that only means she can’t handle the pressure much longer—it means he is just as bad as her previous husband, or maybe even worse.

Kyuhyun grabs her wallet to check whether she brings her cards and IDs, that way he can search for her using the old trick, but he becomes more frustrated once he sees all of her cards and IDs are still in there. Han Sera ran away in a short amount of time and she forgot to bring anything important with her, just being her old reckless self all over again.

He’s about to put her wallet down when a black and white picture catches his attention, he’s seen this kind of thing on TV and his tears welled up on his eyes once he learns the picture. It must be the ultrasound of their baby that Sera keeps in her wallet, this is the first time Kyuhyun actually sees it and now he feels like somebody’s grabbing his heart and squeezing it as tight as they can.

Something beautiful is growing inside her womb and only then he comes to a realization of how wrong he was to her. Kyuhyun falls to the ground as he recalls how Sera was so in pain when she told him about her first failed pregnancy experience, he remembers how much it broke her and how much it affects her mentally—and physically. He begins to wail with the thought of him being the crueler version of her ex, at least Taecyeon didn’t drag her to the doctor for an abortion, Taecyeon didn’t force her to kill their baby—and what Kyuhyun done is worse than that.

He pays attention to the picture in his hand, trying to figure out which part of it is actually shows the baby and he feels the pain one more time. He’s not sure on why he’s crying; he’s worrying about her right now, he doesn’t like the prospect of her health if she continues, but at the same time—looking at the picture in his hand—he doesn’t want to lose this. This baby is a gift in their marriage and Kyuhyun will be lying if he says he never wished to have the picture perfect family with Sera. He’s been living long enough in his own denial after knowing how much pregnancy could hurt her, so he created a defense mechanism to refuse having a baby altogether. However, seeing this picture in his hand, how could he refuse its incoming? How could he not be the person that takes his wife to doctor visits? How could he be the person that insisted her on having an abortion without even trying to find any other solution? How could he turn into this that wants to murder his own child?

He sinks deeper into his own despair and self-blame along with those thoughts. Kyuhyun lets his guard down and allows himself to throw his frustration as he curls himself, hugs his own knees and cries. He’s crying because he’s afraid, because he worries about her, because his guilt, but mostly because he’s ashamed of himself.

Several moment after he calms down, he decided to call Sera again a few time before he goes straight to his parents’ house, wishing Sera will hide there—it’s not like she has a lot of places to run to—but once he got there, Sera is not the person he find, his mother is the one that greets him instead. By the look on her face, she’s ready to punish her own son anytime soon.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER, KYUHYUN-A?!!” his mother automatically punches his back once she sees her son. “DID YOU TELL HER TO DO THE ABORTION?!! DON’T YOU KNOW HOW SHE REACTED WHEN SHE KNEW SHE WAS PREGNANT?! SHE DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT HERSELF AND IMMEDIATELY ASKED FOR ABORTION SUGGESTION!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THAT POOR GIRL?”

Kyuhyun falls to his knees and let his mother beats him up even more, she’s crying and he’s crying—both are worried about Sera’s whereabouts and wellbeing. Mrs. Cho stops punching him as she begins to lose her strength from crying for her daughter-in-law’s faith.

She’s right, Kyuhyun only knew about this last night and he didn’t know all the process she had to went through alone while keeping this a secret from him. Kyuhyun didn’t know how much she endures the burden of keeping this matter from him and how much she must have been suffering from the fear she has towards him.

“She didn’t even get a chance to feel happy, Kyuhyun-a. What kind of man have you become? I never raised you to be this cruel.” She mutters in between her sobs.

“I’m wrong oemma, I know. But I can’t risk it.”

She slaps him with the remaining power she has, “You can at least ask her first! You can talk about it to her and to her doctors instead of being too stubborn.”

“SHE COULD DIE EOMMA!” He shouts out his frustration.

“AND WHO ARE YOU TO TELL IF SHE’S GOING TO DIE!? YOU’RE NOT GOD CHO KYUHYUN!!” his mother falls on her knees next to him. “I’ve been coming with her to the ultrasound and early pregnancy checkup and although her doctor can’t guarantee a safe pregnancy, she’s in a healthy condition Kyuhyun-a. She’s great and delighted about it, it breaks my heart to see how much she suppresses her expectation about the baby and she told me she can’t be too excited because she’s gonna have to get rid of it soon.”

Kyuhyun still crying and not dare to lift his face to see his own mother, he feels like a jerk already without his mother trying to tell him how cruel he has been.

“Did she really?” He whispers softly. “Did she really all that happy about it?”

His mother nods, “She proudly touches her belly from time to time and the look on her face during the ultrasound,” She wipes her tears before continues talking, “You didn’t just break her heart, son, you’ve taken all of her hopes and dreams.”

“Stop it please.” He begs, can no longer hear how bad he is from the third person perspective.

“You should know what you’re doing.”

“I know what I’m doing oemma and I’m doing it for her.” He starts to argue.

“Stop deciding what’s bad and what’s best for her! she’s an adult and she has a right to say what she wants Kyu! If you can’t allow her to continues with the pregnancy, you can at least try to support her!” Another angry tone delivered by his mother, “She knows it’ll be hard and maybe impossible to carry on, but you can at least cheer for her instead of turning into her biggest fear right now.”

“Is it really impossible oemma? Did the doctor said that?” its one thing to assume Sera’s pregnancy will be dangerous, but having a professional telling them so is completely heartbreaking for him. “We can’t really keep the child?” He covers his mouth with his hand to prevent wailing for some more.

Mrs. Cho answer was unclear as she only shrugs and cries along with her son.

“I’m trying to do the best for her oemma, I don’t want to hurt her.” He whispers helplessly.

“Then why is she running away now?”

He doesn’t answer. No matter how he sees it, he’s the bad guy this time and nobody will side with him. no one understands how afraid he is if he has to lose her and he can’t even begin to imagine his life without her and won’t be able to live with himself if something bad happen again to Sera. Yet what happen this morning is bad also, he can’t find her and he doesn’t know where to start finding Han Sera.

*

She can’t believe the password hasn’t change as she gets herself to her hiding place. The smell, the ambience and the furniture in this place still remains the same. She let herself enters the place she called home long ago and didn’t try so hard to adjust herself to the familiar surroundings. Last night she saw the different side of Kyuhyun and for the first time, she’s actually afraid of him. He used to be her shelter but last night, Sera feels like he could attack her anytime he wants and harm her. She touches her belly one more time, making sure that the baby is still there, rubbing it to whisper that they’re safe for now, telling her baby that she’ll protect it no matter what.

At first she thought it’ll be easy to just follow his ego and let him drag her to the doctor to get an abortion. Sera always think that Kyuhyun's heart will soften when the baby is already in her womb, that the scary talk about getting rid of their offspring will vanish as soon as he learns that it’s his child that she’s carrying. Only after last night she saw the truth reveal in front of her and she’s scared.

What makes her even sadder is the fact that her ObGyn is also telling her not to continue with the pregnancy and get it aborted soon before the situation gets too critical. Her doctor listed her as a high risk patient and no matter how Sera tries to argue with her, her doctor still writes down a big NO on Sera’s chart. She was sad with this truth she just learned yesterday and Kyuhyun reaction didn’t make her feel any better. She feels like screaming to those people who doesn’t have a faith in her, a part of her wants to prove to the world that she can go on with it even when everybody told her otherwise, but a part of her is scared too. She was so close to the end of her life years ago and she knew how bad it felt to be dying, if she continues being stubborn with this pregnancy and it end up the bad way, she will leave Kyuhyun alone and she knows that’ll kill him in the inside too.

Obviously what she needs right now is some peace and more time to think for a solution, she also needs support from her closest people although the later hasn’t really come around yet. She ran away this morning to find peace but this is also her way to punish Kyuhyun for being an , she knows how panic he will be and she knows how this will soften his ego