Andrea woke up feeling the sun on her face. She smiled to herself, rolling around the bed and stretching her arms. Once they got their furniture back and placed it in the apartment, the new place started to feel like home. Everything was going well and she was really satisfied. 
The woman threw the covers aside and sat up. She rubbed her eyes and opened them, her gaze meeting the wall in front of the bed. 
A scream filled the apartment. 
"What happened?!", Yoongi asked, showing up in the bedroom, terrified. 
Andrea looked at him with eyes wide opened and pointed to the wall. 
"What. The. Hell. Is. That?", she asked with unsteady voice. 
"Oh, that. I bought it at the antiques market yesterday. I thought it would look good in here", the man answered with a smile. 
Andrea looked at the huge painting of a tiger glanzing at her from the canvas. With its golden eyes filled with insane murderous rage the animal seemed ready to jump at her and rip open with a lot of blood  and screaming present during the process. 
"Of course...", she breathed out, rubbing her temple, already knowing this would be a very long day.

******
"So there is a way to wake you up that doesn't involve me crying", Dennise said reaching for the blouse and putting it on. 
Jungkook lift himself on the bed and looked at her with an amused face expression, lifting one of his eyebrows.
"Don't", the woman said, pointing a finger at him.
"What? I didn't do anything", he said, the smirk still present on his lips.
Dennise put on her sweatpants and sat back on the bed.
"I know exactly what you wanted to say that involved me crying. Touche, I asked for it", she said, giving it it to him. 
"Yeah, you did", he admitted and smiled brightly. He reached his arm and put it around her waist, pulling her in. Right when they were about to kiss a doorbell rang. 
Dennise's eyes shot open and she tensed. 
"D? It's me, Andrea!", woman's voice could be heard from the corridor. 
Dennise jump off the bed and looked around nervously. 
"Hide", she said to Jungkook. 
"What?", the man sat on the bed, frowning. 
"You need to hide. She can't see you here."
He rolled his eyes and got up, standing next to the woman.
"Don't you think we could just tell them already...? The occasion kinda presents itself...", he suggested with hope.
"No", Dennise answered immediately. "I mean...", she started explaining, realizing how harsh that sounded. "That would be too awkward..."
Jungkook looked at her with expression suggesting he had a different deifinition of "awkward", having to hide from his friend and coworker falling really close to it. 
"Fine", he eventually said, shrugging his shoulders. He threw himself on the bed and reached for his phone. "But I won't lock myself in the closet, If that what you had in mind."
Dennise gave him a quick peck on the cheek before closing the bedroom door behind her and running to let Andrea in. 
"I didn't wake you, did I?", the woman said, stepping into the apartment. 
"No, I was just...", Dennise made an indefined gesture, her mind involuntarily going to what she was doing for the past hour and making her cheeks reddened slighlty. "Anyway! What brings you here?", she asked, trying to keep her thoughts on track.
Andrea sighed dramatically and tossed her purse to the side. 
"Yoongi has gone insane", she stated and threw herself on the sofa. 
Dennise hoped it was only her imagination and she didn't really hear Jungkook sneaking to the bedroom door to eavesdrop. 
"How insane we're talking about? Fight Club's narrator insane, Jack Torrance insane, or...?"
"Try Monica Geller meets Rebecca Bloomwood insane."
"Oh...", Dennise brought her friend a cup of coffee and sat by her on the couch. "Spill it."
Andrea threw her arms in the air and groaned with frustration. 
"You remember how I told you he wanted to decorate the apartment? He was so excited about that and you know he barely gets excited over something else than his work, so I thought, what the hell, do it."
"And...?"
The woman snorted, her arms once again finding their way up in the air.
"And he did. Oh, he did...!", Andrea got up and started to walk in circles around the coffee table. "This morning I got a heart attack, because he hang a huge- tiger on the wall. This 's balls are the size of my fist."
Dennise chuckled. 
"You are talking about the tiger, or...", she joked, but seeing her friend's face she quickly regretted it. 
"I was saying", Andrea continued, taking her piercing gaze off Dennise and starting to walk around the living room again. "It got out of hand. Apart from the finger he bought some tribal lamp and put it in the bathroom so when I take a shower I have an impression Elvis Presley is watching me."
Dennise's face expressed deep confusion, so the woman rushed with an explanation: 
"It has some sort of wings, it looks like Elvis' collar from his Vegas days, you know..."
"Oh... that... that's creepy", Dennise admitted, shrugging. 
"Yeah. And if that's not enough, he also borught a cd stand in a shape of a dragon."
Andrea sighed once again and sat back on the couch.
"Where does he find stuff like that?", Dennise asked, really curious of how that stand could look like, but deciding that asking it right now would be asking for slow and painful death. 
"I don't know. Really, I have no idea", the woman answered, rubbing her temples.
"But you've lived together for quite some time already and he wasn't like that before, hm?", Dennise asked, not remembering any erted lamps or murderous paintings from their last apartment. 
"He moved in with me, so the apartment stayed the way I decorated it. You know I like simple interiors... And now I have to live with tiger, dragon and Elvis. It's like the worst movie ever made. Golden Raspberry guaranteed."
This time it wasn't an imagination and Dennise was sure she heard Jungkook's giggle coming from the bedroom. She quickly looked at Andrea, but the woman was too busy with mourning over her boyfriend's bad taste in furniture, she didn't seem to notice. 
"Can't you just tell him he went a little overboard?", Dennise suggested.
"But he's so excited about it. And I already said he can do it, how can I call it off", Andrea said, hiding face in her palms. 
Her friend patted her back lightly at the same time biting on her lip to prevent herself from smiling. Andrea could be a real badass, but when it came to Yoongi, she was as soft as the puppy from toilet paper's commercial. 
"So what are you going to do? Are you ready to live with your cds breathing fire and death?", Dennise asked, chuckling a bit.
"Yeah, well... Maybe I will persuade him to at least move that huge terrifying motherer and keep it away from me..."
"You're talking about the tiger, right?"
Andrea straightened her back and looked at Dennise with face expression being a peculiar mix of disgust and admiration. 
"You really can make ual joke about literally anything. Amazing."
"I have many talents", Dennise said, mimicking a salut. 
Another giggle came out from the bedroom, this time perfectly audible in the quiet living room, making the woman hiss under hear breath. 
"What was that?", Andrea asked, straining her ears. 
"Um...", Dennise hesitated, quickly looking for an explanation. "My phone maybe? I will go and check, excuse me for a second..."
The woman went to the bedroom, quickly closing the door behind her. Jungkook was sitting on the floor by the bed with tears in his eyes and a fist in his mouth, trying to surpress giggling. 
"Hold it together!", Dennise scolded him.
"I'm sorry, but this is too funny", the man said, faltering on his chuckles. "And speaking about your talents..."
"Do not even think about finishing that sentence", the woman warned him, trying to sound confident, but having troubles holding her own laughter after hearing his giggles. He was like a youtube video with kittens and bunnies - no one could keep straight face. 
"Sorry for storming here like that and complaining at my boyfriend's private zoo", Andrea said when Dennise came back to the living room. 
"No problem", the woman answered, even though there definitely was a problem: tall, handsome and still half in her bedroom.
Andrea grabbed her purse and took a deep breath. 
"Anyway, thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Now I am ready to go and tame the tiger", she said, and seing her friend opening , quickly added: "I do mean the painting!"
Once the woman left the apartment, the head appeared in the crack of bedroom's door. 
"Can I come out now?"
Dennise nodded and Jungkook exit the room, still wearing only his boxers.
"Still not dressed?", the woman lift her eyebrow.
"Erm...", Jungkook looked at his feet, scratching the back of his neck. "I can't find my clothes, do you perhaps remember where they are?"
Dennise blinked and a sudden realization hit her.
"Oh...", she said and blushed after remembering the events of the previous night. 

******
"All I'm saying is that you could use some lessons and I could use a model student", Hoseok said, stirring the noodles on his plate. 
"And why do you think I need dance lessons?", Namjoon asked, taking a sip of his soda. 
They met for lunch and were sitting in one of their favourite diners, enjoying their food and a break from work. 
"Well, I hate to break this up to you, but...", Dennise started, looking for a good way to say this.
"You dance like you were being electrocuted", Hoseok said plainly, stuffing his mouth with food.
"Or like you were having a ", the woman added.
"Or both maybe. With some osteoporosis going on as well."
"Okay, enough", Namjoon said, stopping them with a hand gesture. "What I meant is what would I need to change that? I don't dance anyway."
"You don't dance, because it's like a hurricane in a puddle of mud, but if you knew some moves...", Hoseok tried to persuade his friend, starting popping on the chair.
Namjoon put his chopsticks aside and looked at the man with an expression of a person who was too tired to reason with lunatics, especially the ones who had no problem doing girlband-dance in the public.
"You just need someone to teach for those videos of yours", he said.
"Yeah, I do", Hoseok admitted. "And you'd be perfect - if I can teach you, that means I can make even tables dance. Perfect commercial!"
"Well, geeeez, thanks", Namjoon answered, starting to eat again. 
"Will you do it?", Hoseok asked and looked at his friend with puppy eyes. "Please, please, please, pretty pleaseeeee....!"
"God, fine. Just cut the aegyo, we're in a public place", Namjoon said, looking at the other man wiggling on the chair while making high-pitched noises, to which some other clients reacted by sending them some judging looks. 
"I can't take this anymore", Andrea said, storming into the diner and sitting on the chair by her friends' table. "This needs to stop."
"What needs to stop?", Hoseok asked in between the bites of kimbab. 
"You know what he did?", Andrea ignored him, clearly following her own scenario for this conversation and turned to Dennise. "Visiting the markets wasn't good enough, he started shopping online!"
"You mean Yoongi? He sent me a link to some great vintage cabinets, I was actually thinking of getting one...ouch!", Hoseok started, but didn't finish the sentence after being hit by Namjoon under the table. 
"Today I signed for a parcel containing a persian wall-hanging and a chandelier for two dozens of candles. I can't take this anymore", Andrea said, her voice getting so high, Dennise started to worry about glasses on the table. 
"You need to talk to him", Namjoon stated simply. 
Andrea looked at him and laughed sharply. There was a glimps of insanity in her eyes that would make her a perfect villain in a Disney movie.
"Me? No. You need to talk to him."
"Excuse me, what?", Hoseok's eyes got two times bigger. He didn't dig the idea of calling out a man who could make children cry just by looking at them. 
"Andy, just be honest with him...", Dennise tried to reason, but was cut off immediately. 
"I love him. I am in a relationship with him. I live with him. All of that means I can't be honest with him", Andrea said, fishing up a french fry from Namjoon's plate. 
"Yeah, that definitely makes sense", Hoseok noticed, exchanging glances with Namjoon and Dennise. 
It was almost as insane as that one time they agreed to help Yoongi convince Andrea to do Kumamon cosplay for his birthday, but they decided to do it anyway. They were used to their weird couple things and they were prepared to get rid of common sense once in a while and play by their rules. None of them had much experience with relationships and they were not in a position to judge an item that went together for so many years, even if that item was sometimes crazy like a coala during breeding season. 

******

"I understand why you get involved with preserving their weird couple-mojo, but why are you dragging me into this?", Taehyung asked, while being pushed by the door in front of Hoseok. 
"It's a code. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you signed the papers", Hoseok said, sounding way too seriously for the occasion.
"What papers?", the younger man looked around, confused. 
"Figure of speech", Namjoon said, not exactly explaining anything. 
Taehyung looked like a child who typed "Sailor Moon" on Tumblr search and instead of a cartoon was presented to explicit content. Practically an illustration of the saying "I came here to have a good time but I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now". 
"For better or worse!", Hoseok exclaimed, causing Taehyung to jump. 
With a face expressing deep regret of his life choices and heart filled with fear of both Andrea and Yoongi, the young man stopped in front of the apartment and swallowed thickly. 
"You do have a plan, right?", Jungkook asked with slight worry. 
"Nope", Hoseok said before knocking on the door and opening them without hearing the response.
"Hello...damn!", he said after seeing the inside of the apartment.
"Oh man, holy ", Jungkook's jaw dropped as he stepped over the threshold and saw the cabinet being held by two gigantic flamingos. 
"Wow, It's like being in a Ghibli's movie. So much going on!", Taehyung started walking around, touching everything he could, his face filled with amazement. 
Andrea showed up in the room looking like a person who saw too many things in too short period of time and was too idle to be surprised by anything anymore. She crossed arms on her chest and attempted to smile, which seemed like she just swallowed a hornet. 
"What do you think?", Yoongi asked, appearing in the door of his home-studio. He looked at the living room, smiling proudly. 
Dennise glanced at him and made eyecontact with Andrea. He acted like a father of a prominent family, who recently discovered love for some stimulants such as brandy and whisky. And heroin. 
Friends smiled at him, looking at each other helplessly. Reprimanding Yoongi was scary enough, but doing it when he was drunk with excitement was like swimming with a polar bear while wearing famous Lady Gaga's VMAs' dress. 
"Wow, this is so great! I love this! It feels like some cool museum...!", Taehyung exclaimed, his eyes and mouth wide open. 
"I am going to rip his head and arms off and play hockey with it", Andrea mouthed, a psychopatic smile congealing on her face. 
"No, wait", Namjoon said, putting hand on her shoulder and observing the situation.
"...like a museum or... an old lady's house? You know these old ladies that give butterscotch candies to children? They wear a lot of clothes even in the summer and have a lot of cats and dogs and...", Taehyung continued, getting more excited with each sentence. 
Yoongi listened to him and slowly his face started to change, eyebrows forming a frown. 
"...and they have a lot of stuff in their appartments and it is awesome! Just like here!", Taehyung sinished the sentence with a happy clap. 
Everyone stood quietly for a few moments, watching Yoongi scratch his head and clicking his tongue with contemplation. He then cleared his throat and looked at the rest of the people with a sense of embarrassment. 
"I went overboard, didn't I?", he asked. 
"Well...", Hoseok started, looking at the ceiling.
"Yeah, you did", Jungkook nodded.
"Completely overboard", Dennise added.
"Dude, your apartment looks like babilonian harem, it's more than overboard", Namjoon concluded. 
Yoongi scratched his head once again and looked at Andrea with questioning look. The woman approached him and placed her hands on his chest. 
"I know you were excited for this, but... yes, they're right."
"Yeah, I guess... I should return these things...", he mumbled and went back to his studio to search for the receipts.
Andrea turned around and did something that made her look and sound like worms-kamikaze. 
"It worked!", she ran to Taehyung and grabbed his arms. The boy got few inches smaller from the terror. "You did this! That was really clever, actually. Thank you!", she suddenly hugged him and he looked like a punctured baloon. 
When Andrea went to the kitchen talking something about coffe, tea and possibly vodka, Dennise leaned to Jungkook. 
"He really liked it, didn't he?", she asked, with the corner of .
"Yup", Jungkook nodded. 
"Yeah, that's what I thought so", Dennise said, watching Taehyung petting the furry stuffed animal that looked like a transitional fossil between wombat and a deer. 

끝

"Hi!", Andrea and Dennise said after a person appeared on the screen of the laptop.
"Hi!", Karen answered, waving at them happily. 
It's been a while since they managed to talk over Skype and were glad to finally make the time. 
"You're not easy to reach lately", Andrea noticed, sipping on her tea. 
"Yeah, well...", Karen frowned. "My boss clearly doesn't understand that I am here to translate for business, not for pleasure", she said.
"What do you mean?", Dennise asked, raising an eyebrow wit curiosity.
Karen sighed and showed them a flyer. Both women came closer to the screen to see what was written on it. 
"I don't speak dutch, but that looks like...", Dennise started.
"...speed dating, yes", Karen finished the sentence and threw the flyer away. "That crazy woman wants me to translate for her during speed dating."
"What are you going to do?", Andrea asked. 
Karen smiled the way snake would smile to the mouse if his motile jaw allowed him. 
"That woman doesn't understand in dutch and I can get very creative", she said, wiggling her eyebrows. "Ok, I would like to ask you how are you doing and I will do that later, but first, tell me... why the hell two guys are having sword battle in your living room?"
Andrea and Dennise looked shocked at each other and quickly turned around. 
"Guys! Put that down! We need to return this to the store!", Andrea yelled, getting off the couch and running towards Jungkook and Taehyung who were clearly living up to their childhood dreams.