It starts with a dandelion.

Hansol had once informed Mingyu that if you make wishes on the fuzzy weeds (“they’re flowers, hyung, just growing in the wrong place.”) that they will come true. Of course, Mingyu laughed at the time because the members called him childis? That was months ago; however, and a lot of things can change in a month.

This time, instead of Hansol by his side, it’s Minghao. The scenes too familiar, what with Minghao throwing the basketball only for it to ricochet and roll into the grassy area. Mingyu jogs up to the younger like last time, his legs sore and heart pounding as he scoops up the orange ball in his large hands. Before he fully stands up; however, he spots the fuzzy ‘flower’ Hansol seems to love so much. Minghao seems stumped by the sudden halt.

“Hyung,” he calls out, “Mingyu-hyung,” he repeats again when the rapper doesn’t respond.

Mingyu shakes his head slightly and plucks the flower. “Look, it’s a dandelion,” he shows to Minghao who’s face twists in confusion for a brief moment. It reminds Mingyu of himself when Hansol had showed him and he can’t help but to giggle. “Hansol told me you can make wishes on them,” he goes into detail, inspecting the tiny flower as the fuzzy seeds gently tickle his nose.

“Are you going to make a wish?” Minghao inquires as he gently takes the basketball from Mingyu’s hand.

Is he? Maybe months ago Mingyu would have said no, that he was content with everything in his life, but lately…lately he isn’t. Besides, it’s just a flower, so what harm could one childish wish do?

It starts with a person named Wonwoo.

Before Seventeen debuted, before they topped charts and went to fan meetings, Mingyu used to only have Wonwoo. It’s not that the other members didn’t care for Mingyu, on the contrary he was loved by everyone, but Mingyu could only see Wonwoo. If Mingyu gave everything he had to people he loved he gave Wonwoo everything and then some. It was some unspoken rule that wherever Mingyu was WOnwoo was as well, and vice-versa. Some law the universe made. At least, that’s the way it’s always been since they met.

They were a packaged deal. You couldn’t have one without the other. And Mingyu likes that fact, likes that he can shower Wonwoo with affection knowing that the shorter male will return it ten fold. Perhaps not as verbally or physically, but when they’re along and their bones feel heavy but Wonwoo still makes sure Mingyu eats and washes up.

Mingyu thinks he’s in love, some kind of love, but it doesn’t matter which. Wonwoo is the Sun and Mingyu is just a lowly moon who is grateful to just bask in its warmth.

That’s how it starts at first, but things change and Mingyu has always been afraid of change. Fans jokingly pair them up, ship them, and while they did it during pre-debut era it comes full when they debut. He doesn’t think anything of it because he doesn’t mind the idea of being with Wonwoo, in every sense of the word, but the rapper is different.

Wonwoo doesn’t hold his hand anymore, won’t let Mingyu hold his hand, and separates himself when they have to go to broadcast or gather in a group.

At first Mingyu thinks he’s okay with it, really wants to believe he’s okay with it, so he gives Wonwoo space. He bugs Jihoon more, hangs out with Minghao and the maknae line, and hopes that whatever is going through Wonwoo’s mind will blow over.

It doesn’t.

It lasts for a week, and a week turns into a month and Mingyu wonders when staying in the same room as Wonwoo got so awkward. It feels like eggshells are constantly poking his feet and the discomfort that was mild soon turns into a heated rash. Wonwoo doesn’t seem affected though, not like Mingyu, which makes him wonder if Wonwoo ever really cared about him at all. What hurts the most; however, is seeing Wonwoo with Junhui and acting like they used to. The touches, glances, playful shoves, Mingyu wonders if this is somehow his fault, if he did something to push Wonwoo away. Did he not give enough?

That’s the thing though, the one flaw in Mingyu’s system that makes him short-circuit and regress back to his awkward pre-teen days when he was unsure of himself and everything he did. Love doesn’t mean anything if you can take it back, it doesn’t matter if Wonwoo used to be his because that’s not the case anymore—maybe it never was.

Mingyu used to be content with just getting the bare minimum, he was okay with people not giving all of themselves to him because he knows that it’s not normal but Mingyu lives in extremes.

He doesn’t have Wonwoo at all though, not even ten percent of him.

And it’s greatly unfair that Wonwoo can just move on as if their friendship meant nothing and Mingyu’s left here to wallow in past memories and wonder ‘what if’. If Wonwoo isn’t his anymore, he doesn’t want the man to linger in his heart either. He wants to cleanse himself of Wonwoo’s existence completely, forget the times they shared because it brings an acidic taste to his mouth and instead of butterflies in his stomach, it churns with unease. The members notice too, it’s just a matter of time.

“Did you and Wonwoo fight,” Seungcheol would ask.

“You have to make up,” Jihoon would demand.

“It’s okay,” Jeonghan would whisper.

They didn’t fight and so they can't make up and nothing was okay.

It ends with both of them.

Mingyu lets out a small, “Yeah,” careful not to spread the seeds just yet. And he slowly slides his eyes shut, Minghao’s concerned face disappearing in the darkness, as he lets his heart wish and mind shut up. And then he blows the seeds.

The white seeds leave in a gathering but soon separate as some travel father than others. Pairs split up in the air as they drift in different directions until they all but scatter from Mingyu’s line of sight as they carry out the wish. A gentle sorrow seeps into Mingyu’s heart as he drops the lone stalk, of its seeds, onto the ground and turns to Minghao with a small smile.

“What did you wish for,” the Chinese boy questions with an air of cautiousness.

At this Mingyu laughs, because he remembers the words Hansol had said when he asked the same thing. “It’s a secret, it won’t come true if you say it.”

Minghao snorts and rolls his eyes but doesn’t press any further.

The following night dinner is hectic as per usual. There’s piles of chicken and pizza and the members surround the food eat as if it’s their last meal. Mingyu isn’t sure why, but he finds his appetite lacking and chooses to just converse with Soonyoung. Every so often he’ll let his gaze drift off to Wonwoo who seems so entrapped by Junhui’s presence. They used to be like that, just the two of them ignoring the world, but it’s not and Mingyu wants to desperately look away but he can’t. He watches in disdain as Wonwoo fixes a stray strand of hair and Junhui playfully hits him.

“I-um, don’t feel so good,” Mingyu mumbles as he jerks his head away, effectively cutting Soonyoung off mid-sentence.

Jeonghan nibbles his lip as he nudges Seungcheol as if wanting the leader to say something.

Seungcheol gets the message and states, “Wait, Mingyu, you didn’t eat. Aren’t you hungry?”

The tall rapper turns a bit and looks up at the ceiling, debating if he is hungry or not. It’s not a common occurrence for Mingyu to not eat and thus it’s a cause for concern. Mingyu takes stock. He doesn’t feel hungry even though his stomach is empty, and even if he was he didn’t have the energy to eat and the idea of chewing food didn’t seem very appealing to him. Of course, he couldn’t just say all of that to s so he just shakes his head and smiles warmly.

“It’s okay, I feel a little under the weather so I’m just going to rest.”

He doesn’t bother to look at their faces, too engrossed in his own thoughts, so he misses the lingering looks and shared glances.

It’s okay, Mingyu repeats in his mind as he climbs under the covers of the beds the members never use. He’s not sure why he’s repeating that mantra in his head because of course it’s okay, why wouldn’t he be okay? He’s okay with Wonwoo being away from him, okay with being nothing more than work friends. He crumbles more into himself and stares blankly at the wall. Are they sleeping right now, Mingyu wonders, are they on top of each other as the members surround them? Does anyone even care that he’s not there with them?

An ancient ache thrums in Mingyu’s bones as he presses his face closer to the pillow. Maybe he wouldn’t mind if his wish did come true, that he would probably be better off—the team would be better off.

Maybe it would be better if he could just wake up without remembering Wonwoo at all.

That’s the thing with wishes though, ones that are made in the heat of the moment always come true without fail. And those are arguably the worst because no one thinks of the fall out, the repercussion of their wish. It fits Mingyu to a ‘T’ because while he’s loving and wants everyone to be happy, he’s inherently selfish and would monopolize all the members if he could. Have all of them just to himself and bask in their attention and love.

***

Wonwoo is tasked with waking Mingyu up which he desperately tries to pawn off to another member. No one takes up the offer though because a) the two of them needed to sort whatever is between them and b) either wake him up or be locked in a closet with him. And, while Wonwoo hates the idea of being alone with Mingyu, he knows when he’s lost and drags his tired body into the room.

It’s odd for a member to use the beds, especially as the weather gets warmer, because the rooms aren’t great at keeping in the cold and the covers might as well be like living on the sun.

Wonwoo carefully walks over to Mingyu’s curled form, head sticking out and hair lying in disarray. He’s cute like this, Wonwoo thinks with a bitter smile. Times like these make Wonwoo realize just how much he misses the younger member but Mingyu is just too much and Wonwoo doesn’t know how to deal with a hurricane when he hasn’t even witnessed a storm.

“Mingyu,” he says in a groggy voice, “wake up. Yah, I know you can hear me, wake up or else I’ll get Jihoon.”

The threat seems to stir the younger rapper, but when he opens his eyes a sharp cry escapes the brunette’s lips as he scrambles away and presses his back against the wall. Wonwoo stills, brows furrowed as he tries to get closer but stops when Mingyu scrunches his form and puts his arms in front of himself as if preparing for a blow.

“M-Mingyu, are you okay?”

Seungcheol comes running into the room followed by Jihoon. “We heard a shout, is everything alright?”

At Seungcheol’s voice, Mingyu immediately lets down his guard, “Hyung,” he yells, eyes wide with anxiety and fear, “who is this!”

Wait, what?

“Mingyu, it’s me, Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo tries to get closer which is a huge mistake because Mingyu grabs the nearest pillow and slaps Wonwoo as hard as he can before he makes a run to a very confused leader. Silence falls over the room as more members spill into the space and crowd around the doorway.

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo repeats as he gingerly touches his cheek, “this isn’t funny,” he says sternly.

Mingyu shakes his head and repeats desperately, “I’m sorry, but I don’t know you.” 

A/N: Hey everyone, this is just a brief intro to the story! I hope you guys like it because this means a lot ot me and I just, I don't know, I just really want to share but everyone is going to suffer I'm sorry ;_; please don't forget to subscribe/comment if you do like! It means a lot to me