When he woke up , it was to a spacious darkness of  an eerie  basement ..

It smelt of dust , copper … metallic ? was that blood ?

His whole body went rigid at the thought .

However , he tried to ignore it in favor of surveying the rest of the area .

A sole fluorescent light bulb flickered twitching on and off in an irritating motion quite far from where he was seated .. And as if that wasn’t bad enough , he found the whole thing quite a semblance of demonic lightning , cries of thunder shaking the sky and thus pure terror . He felt like he was left in the deepest pits of hell .

There  were many blind spots  . However , he did register other important things . He was tied up to a chair , wrists aching stinging and burning at the restraint , migraine made itself known , dangerously .
And that wasn’t even everything ..
Memories flooded his whole being rushing back to his brain like a train , merciless and unstoppable .

The last person he conversed with was none other than his lover ..
How did he end up here ? Like this .. ?
 

As if to answer his question , an all too  familiar voice snapped him out of his daze before he could delve further in his mental dilemma .

" Awaken , love  ? " His voice laced with mock affection , a dark brown haired guy slowly approached the other one .

It didn't sound sincere , that much he could tell .
It sounded too different , foreign and dare he say , creepy.
Too much it sent shivers down his spine.. And he knew why ..
He just hoped his lover didn't really believe the rumors , not entirely at least .

Marching leisurely towards the elder , the dark brown haired lad  held a shimmering sharp object in his scarred hand .

" so .. Tell me .. What kind of sick , twisted pleasure did you get from playing me , ha  ? "
The boy whispered in a demanding tone , half emotionless half giving away all of his conflicted emotions .

The tied one had a hard time registering it all that he couldn’t come up with an answer . The way his .. lover looked at him , those eyes .. They looked empty , glassy and crystalline yet he knew how much anguish they hid in the deepest depth . He knew they were blood-shot because of too much tears . Those pair of eyes he had come to love now looked dull and lifeless , those beautiful strands of silk now covered them in a maddening way . Those lips he had come to kiss every day now spat the crudest series of words . The mind and soul he had come to adore now shattered , tainted with doubts and distrust .

Though the said boy had asked , he didn't wait for the other to arrange a stack of lies before him .

“ Whatever reason you may have had to do such disgraceful thing to me , I can’t justify it . “  The boy whispered as he left a hair-thin distance between their faces , his eyes taking in everything in his supposed lover , his everything . The other just panted heavily staring at those eyes as if trying no pleading them to see the truth . The boy he had come to caress lovingly now sported scars everywhere , literally . And there was nothing he could do about it . The damage was done ..

“ If it’s envy , I wouldn't believe it . “ The brown haired one whispered , his eyes darting here and there before he straightened up pulling away  .

“ You have got the looks , Chanhee . “ His soothing voice contradicting the whole situation  , the nearly driven-mad boy searched every possible reason for such actions .. For why the hell he deserved such treatment , such fate , such life . Was he really doomed to forever be denied the feeling of love ?

Genuine love , genuine mutual love ..

Was it really his fault for trusting someone again  ?

Was that the message ?

“  The wealth , the family , Recognition .. And pretty much everything I lack .
If anything , I should be the one envying you . So it's not that .
Yet ..  If it's something else then what ?? “

He kept pacing around , racking his brain for answers , the knife still held close to his palm .

Chanhee shook his head bitterly , fearing the moment he would talk would be the same his lover would get brutal and reckless . But Byunghun was oblivious to the head gesture .

“ A bet perhaps ?? Or .. Did I  ever know you before we met that day ?
Did I ever hurt or insult you that you only thought of getting back  at me ? No way , right ? “

It was possible , right ? Or not ?

What if he did meet Chanhee before , in his childhood for instance and couldn’t recall him the second time they met .. Even if that was the case , the chances of him hurting anyone were non-existent .

“ I could swear we didn't know each other until that day So why ? “

“ Tell me !!! How could you ?? ” He yelled all of a sudden , eyebrows knitted and brain dysfunctioning in disbelief of it all  .

Chanhee gasped a breath trying to say something but the other yelled again . The pain seemed to have buried itself too deep for Chanhee to be able to convince Byunghun of otherwise , doubts have already sneaked their way to his heart , to the core and from there to every nook and cranny gnawing ravenously at his entirety .

“ I trusted you ! “ Chanhee couldn't stand the look of betrayal and disappointment Byunghun was giving him and so he shut his eyes before snapping them open again , not meeting the other's gaze though .

“ I ..  I loved you .. “  Grounding to  a halt , Byunghun took the chance to catch his breath before whispering darkly .

" I truly did ! "

Every time Chanhee tried to interrupt , to deny it all , the other gave him no chance .
 

He raised the knife silently  threatening to put it to use and Chanhee wasn’t scared for his own life . On the contrary , he feared Byunghun harming himself in front of his very own eyes , with the false belief that Chanhee had betrayed him , made him to be the entire school's laughing stock .

Rejection didn’t hurt as much as betrayal did .

Byunghun couldn't care less about people knowing he was homo-ual .
However , to have the  last one he had expected  to spread rumors about him do just so devastated him beyond limits  .

“ I don’t even know if I should beat the ing daylights out of you for hurting ,  breaking and killing me or If I should do it to myself for trusting you ! “ He said in a low tone only raising his voice at certain words for added effect . Byunghun let out a twisted  giggle , the said action quickly becoming a series of high pitched fit of laughter , psychotic ones .

“ You healed my scars , Chanhee , only to have them ripped apart all over again .. “

The words and their weight wrenched Chanhee’s heart to no limits .

“ I can pretend all of it never happened so we can go back to being lovers , if that’s what you want even if it’s a lie . I can be your cheap .. I can fake a smile , I can force a laugh .  I can turn it on , be a good machine .. I can hold the weight of the world if that’s what you ask . “  

He broke down into tears with each word , his grip on the knife tightening drawing blood along the way and Chanhee’s eyes mirrored the action , spilling hot tears   .  It wasn’t supposed to end up like this !!

Short silence ensued as Byunghun willed himself to go on , trying his utmost for his voice not to crack . He was panting heavily though .

“ I can do it … I can do it .. I have survived much more toxic words before .  But .. I’m only human and I bleed when I fall down .. “ He had whispered the first words  bitterly before nearly screaming the rest .

For a fleeting moment Chanhee wondered which was worse , the way his lover emphasized each letter , the way his tone screamed of sheer pain , or the immense sorrow he held in his eyes .

Until he realized he was asking the wrong question . What mattered was the fact that both combined pulled at his heart strings in a way that left him paralyzed , pathetic and helpless .

“ I didn’t fall though .. You shoved me from cloud nine to the deepest depths of earth , to hell actually . “

Chanhee’s breath got caught in his throat , he shook his head refusing to give in all whilst trying to free his hands . Alas , Byunghun noticed it and approached him in a heartbeat . He slowly let his weight fall on the other’s lap , the sudden proximity shocking Chanhee .

“ And in case you are wondering , it wasn’t a smooth fall . I crashed down to smithereens !! “ However , Byunghun kept on with his speech as though he was narrating a bedtime story to some kid out there .

Chanhee’s chest heaved up and down as Byunghun lifted his nail dragging it painfully slow against the other’s cheek , it stung badly .

Byunghun watched in awe as his lover winced at the acidic substance irritating the skin . Chanhee squeezed his eyes shut before realization hit him and so he forced them open again ..

If it stung his face that much , it must have done the same to Byunghun’s finger …

“  Chanhee ! I only dipped my finger in it for a short time yet it still stung you this badly . Don't you wonder how much it would hurt if I actually poured all of it over mysel- “

Chanhee snapped interrupting him  “ Stop !!!!! Byunghun , can’t you see ? He lied to you ! he never liked you , he never wanted you happy ! You should know that much !  “  

To hell with it , if Byunghun intended to take things so far then Chanhee would not sit back and watch .

“ HE HAD A PROOF !!!! “  Byunghun nearly growled back before standing up and scoffing  . He wouldn’t be played again ! No ..

Though Chanhee had a point , Byunghun refused to believe it .

“ You see , I  just shared a fraction of my pain with you . Now you have a standard to measure against .. “  Byunghun said dismissing the sincerity in Chanhee’s words and eyes altogether .

The burgundy haired one watched but not silently  as the other shoved the knife in his pocket , grabbed a glass full of the apparently acidic liquid and poured it all over his wrist involuntarily wincing as it took effect ..

“ Byunghun ! STOP !!! “

Watching it all and knowing he won’t be able to change any of it stung even more than the substance gnawing at his skin .  Chanhee thrashed trying to break free cursing the confinements around his wrists all the while .

The patch of skin burned and swelled and Chanhee started actually pleading the other to stop ..

The brown haired one did not stop though , instead , he went forward again reaching for Chanhee’s face forcing him to look . He tugged harshly at the other’s hair finding the way such action ripped a prolonged groan out of the other’s throat oddly satisfying .

“ Look ! Look , Chanhee ! You did this to me !!! “

As if that wasn’t enough , he took the knife out of his pocket and started dragging it all over his arm careful not to target a vein so he would enjoy it for as long as he could . He wanted Chanhee to feel guilty , to watch and know he was one responsible … Then maybe it would satisfy him , maybe it would heal some of his pain . He wanted his conscience to eat him alive for the rest of the time  .

Byunghun then gracefully sat down on Chanhee’s lap again , lifting his chin up this time a lot more gentle . Chanhee shook his head , eyes b with tears for he could not save Byunghun .

“ Chanhee ? Did you really feel disgusted whenever we kissed ? Did you really feel your skin crawl ? “ Byunghun whispered bitterly and for once , he seemed to be in his right mind , like maybe he could be convinced if Chanhee showed him enough love and he was intending to do just that .

“ Don’t go there .. “ Chanhee whispered , nearly out of breath from the way Byunghun touched him sensually like how they used to , the words making the other one halt and furrow his eyebrows waiting for more  .

“ Don’t even come close to suggesting I don’t care about you .. “ He said bitterly and desperately yet his voice was laced with determination . His hands were aching to hold the smaller one in his embrace , to hide him from the whole world , to protect him till the last breath .. Ironically , Byunghun had it deeply etched in his mind that Chanhee was one to shatter their love .

They gazed at each other intensely for a couple of minutes neither willing enough to  initiate the next move  .

Whatever would ensue may end up costing them their lives .