Loser, loner, a coward who pretends to be tough, a mean delinquent
In the mirror, you’re just a loser, a loner, a jackass covered in scars, dirty trash I’m a loser  

 

“Junhoe.., Junhoe..,”

 

He can see Junhoe tries hard to open his eyes, Junhoe’s head is on his lap, eyes are looking back to Chanwoo weakly. Chanwoo’s hand holds his hand tightly, gives the latter encouragement to stay awake.   “You need to stay with me.. stay. with. me. Ambulance will come soon, okay? You can do this.”   Junhoe doesn’t respond anything. He still finds hard to breathe and open his eyes, which actually he cannot see anything from his sight. Even Chanwoo looks blurry for him.   “Chan...woo…,” he barely manages to escape that word from his mouth. Chanwoo nods at him, feeling hopeful after the first word.   “I’m…. sorry."     -///////-     Everything went fast, and chaotic.   Chanwoo hasn’t stopped walking since the accident happened. He helps evacuating Yunhyeong and Junhoe, and other victims as well because of his job as a doctor. Once his feet stepped the hospital, he quickly looks for the best doctors to take care of Yunhyeong and Junhoe, and manages every single administration matter to move them from ED to their current rooms. He was just as furious as others’ victims’ family when he faced the truck driver in the ED and was about to burst everything out to the driver, especially after seeing him almost fine and healthy, but he chose to be quiet instead because at least Junhoe and Yunhyeong are still alive. He decided to give everything he could and take the best care of them instead of doing useless things that only waste his energy.   Even though, he actually feels anxious right now seeing how Yunhyeong and Junhoe are still not conscious at all.   He sits on the right side of Junhoe’s bed, eyes trail on Junhoe’s facial features. It should be the beach instead of hospital, and it should be the san that they were laying on instead of the sickbed. Chanwoo actually feels sick himself seeing how all the monitor and tubes are connected to Junhoe’s body that he wants to get rid of all of them. He gets used to seeing people connected with tubes due to his job, but now seeing Junhoe looks exactly like this, he doesn’t know why his heart broke, his feeling doesn’t seem right and he wants to cry everything out. He quietly thinks that this is probably what all the family members of patient’s feel, and he feels sorry that he never gave a damn about it before.   “You have to wake up.” he suddenly said, giving a gentle squeeze to Junhoe’s hand that is tube-free.   “You need to stay alive. There are many things that you need to know.”   “Doctor Jung.” a nurse opened the door to call him out. Listening to how he is called by the nurse makes him remember of how Junhoe the first time they called him ‘Doctor Jung’. Junhoe keeps calling him that name at home, at phone calls, even when they’re texting, for awhile. He hides his smile in a thin line before looking at the side to face the nurse.   “Song Yunhyeong has been awake.”     -///////-     Chanwoo has known that Yunhyeong wouldn’t take long to be fully awake. He doesn’t suffer from severe injury because the truck was coming from the right, while Yunhyeong was on the driver seat. The doctors diagnosed that he gets a bit head trauma that will recover soon, however the news of Yunhyeong waking up is still greeted by a wide smile from Chanwoo. At least for now, he got a company that can keep him sane while waiting for Junhoe to wake up.   “You look good.” Chanwoo complimented him once he got in. Yunhyeong returns it with a weak smile on his face. He still looks pale and his eyes don’t move as fast as normal people will do, but he looks healthy and that’s all that matters for Jung Chanwoo.   “..and you look terrible.” Yunhyeong said softly, to which Chanwoo giggles because that’s what the complete opposite of what Yunhyeong just said.   “Do you want me to move your bed?” Chanwoo asked when Yunhyeong starts to rub his own temple. Yunhyeong nods, and Chanwoo slowly whirls the manual knob to make the bed ascends, “..you must be feeling nauseated right now, it’s fine. It happened to those who just woke up with head trauma.” Chanwoo is still busy to lock the knob and moves some tube aside.   “How is Junhoe?” Yunhyeong finally slips the question that has been in his mind since he is awake. Chanwoo suddenly stops what he’s doing and shrugs his shoulder afterwards, “..I cannot say he’s fine until his brain is scanned. He is still not awake.” Chanwoo continues what he’s doing again, and Yunhyeong taps his shoulder, asking the latter to stop as he has got his best position right now.   “I’m sorry, I hope he wakes up soon.” Yunhyeong sincerely said his wish, and Chanwoo smiles at him before sitting on the chair beside Yunhyeong's bed, “..it’s fine.”   “You really need to tell him as soon as he’s awake.” Yunhyeong warned him, and there’s no response coming from Chanwoo, “..he deserves to know the truth.”   “I can’t tell him… I can never tell him! I’m just afraid if he looks at me differently after I said the truth, that’s why I kept on delaying to tell him. I was afraid if he hated me, and if he asked where I’ve been all this time when he was at his worst.” Chanwoo sighed, slowly taking oxygen in-between the smell of hospital to fill his lungs, “..now that he’s laying on that bed, I feel like everything was my fault. I didn’t protect him well enough, I cannot just tell him when I’ve even done nothing for him.”   “You did. You protected him, all the time! You have done everything! Stop blaming yourself!” Yunhyeong finds a louder volume in his voice, and he himself