Seeing Mark cry because of me, made me feel upset and angery ofcourse, but also gave me a sense of satisfaction. Seeing him cry because of this told me that our break up had affected him.

It's not like I didn't know that what I had done, broke him. But he had never cried infront of me after what happened. He hardly had even stepped into the same room as me then. I don't blame him, not at all. He was a fantastic boyfriend. He wasn't a perfect human, none of us are. But he was perfect for me.

He completed me. 

He had not made me a better man. I am who I am, but he accepted me and taught me how to embrace my true self. 

And most importantly.

He loved me.

And what did I do in return?

I cheated on huim.

I didn't show him how much I completely adored him. 

I instead showed him the worst side of me. The side, I never knew existed.

"Mark...... don't cry, please."

He looked up at me, his eyes red from all the crying. "Why? Why shouldn't I cry Jackson? You ruined me Jackson. You became my entire life, and then in a second you destroyed it." He whispered at me.

But his whisper was to vicious. I could feel the hate. His hate was directed at me. I know I should have known that he would hate me. And I did. But I had never experienced it from him directly. 

It felt horrible. I felt disgusted with myself. I was the worst person. But I couldn't help myself when I reached out to hold him by his arms and pull him into me. 

Mark stood motionless for a while I had my arms around him. After a few seconds he grabbed onto my tshirt and burried his face in my shoulder and cried his eyes out. His started with small whimpers which slowly turned into loud cries. I held onto him for my dear life. To be honest, I was scared that he would let go, and I wouldn't have him. 

"Why, Jackson. Why?" He looked up at me.

" I know Mark, I know. It was a huge mistake. I never don't think about you. It's always you. Mark, Mark, Mark. That's what goes on in my head.  I know I don't deserve a second chance but plea-" 

" Jackson?"JB knocked on the door, "I think you should leave Mark alone for sometime." 

But I  had been waiting for so long. 

This distracted me for awhile, my hold on Mark loosening up. I looked at him, hoping he would say ' No let's talk this out now, because I love you and I miss you.' But instead another voice broke the atmosphere.

"Mark hyung? Are you okay? Do you need me?" Yugyeom's voice said. 

Instantly my hold on Mark tightened again and I held him close. But he let go of my T-shirt and firmly put his palm on my chest, as if to gently push me away.  

"Mark, please listen to m-" 

"No Jackson. I can't listen to you," he started,