Location: EXO Dorm
Time: 4 years later – May 2020

It’s amazing how much can change in four years.

Sehun was looking through a memory photo book that the EXO-Ls had made for EXO’s 8^th year anniversary. Sehun lingered for a moment over one page that had a photo of all twelve members. He couldn’t help but feel saddened by the loss of Tao and Kris. He woke up one day and they were gone. They didn’t call, they didn’t say goodbye – they just left. Sehun had every right to be angry at them but he could never shake that feeling that something was missing. All of the members were either in their 30s or close to it by now but somehow they never seemed to physically grow older. Xiumin, Chen, and DO were away doing their mandatory military service and Lay spent most of his time in China working with his studio. He missed them – all of them.

He desperately waited for the day that they could all be together again – hoping that it would heal the trauma the group had suffered over the last four years. Sehun flipped the page to see a photo from one of their award show schedules last year. Chanyeol and Baekhyun had their arms around each other – Baekhyun was resting his head on Chanyeol’s chest and it appeared that Chanyeol had been whispering something into his ear - they looked, complete.

Chanyeol was sent to do his military service shortly after that; but he was medically discharged after only a year due to an abdominal injury. Sehun flipped to the last page in the book and saw a photo that was recently taken at Yoora’s wedding. Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Luhan, Sehun and himself were sitting around a table with some of Chanyeol’s childhood friends. Suho was sitting off to the side, hugging his girlfriend Jiyeon from behind as she sat on his lap. Sehun couldn’t believe that they had been together for almost two years now. He then saw himself, standing behind Luhan’s chair, draped all over his boyfriend’s shoulders with a bright smile on both of their faces – god he loved that man.

Surprisingly, Suho had practically stole Chanyeol’s place as his best friend – they were inseparable now. Somewhat how Chanyeol and Kim Jihoo were – even more to Sehun’s surprise. Jihoo was shy and quiet whereas Chanyeol was loud and wild. But somehow it worked – so much so that Sehun often wondered if there was something more going on between the two.

So that left Baekhyun – he sat in the chair next to Chanyeol with his arms crossed. The foot between them might as well have been several miles. He looked miserable and lonely; the only expressions he ever showed on his face since the day that Chanyeol left. Sehun never saw it as his place to ask what had happened but he had a good hunch. Baekhyun probably told Chanyeol that he had feelings for him and Chanyeol rejected him. Why on earth Chanyeol would do this, he had no idea, because he would have bet money that Chanyeol had a crush on Baekhyun too. Whatever happened, Baekhyun was obviously hurting. Chanyeol hated to see Baekhyun upset; so the reason for keeping his distance so firmly must have been important.

“What are you up to handsome?” a voice whispered in his ear. Sehun smiled, leaning back into Luhan’s warm hug. “Just looking at this photo book the EXO-Ls gave us,” he replied. Luhan nosed his temple affectionately and Sehun turned his head to share a soft, long kiss. Sehun hooked his arm around Luhan’s neck and pulled him down into it. He moaned quietly as Luhan’s fingers moved into his hair. Ugh. Three years later and Luhan could still turn him on with the slightest touch.

“Ew, get a room.” Sehun and Luhan broke apart slightly and turned to see Baekhyun making a face from the doorway. “How was the interview?” Sehun asked. “Fine I guess,” he shrugged. Sehun and Luhan exchanged concerned glances. Sehun patted Luhan’s waist to let him up and he crossed the room to Baekhyun. “Is everything okay hyung? You really haven’t been acting like yourself lately.” “I’m fine, just tired I guess,” he said with another shrug. Sehun pulled Baekhyun into a warm embrace and whispered into his ear, “You know, if you ever need to talk about anything – anything at all – I’m right here Baek.” Baekhyun nodded and slowly dragged himself up the stairs.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Location: Seoul, South Korea
Time: 7 Weeks Later

The boys were gearing up for the first half of their EXO PLANET #5 tour at the Olympic Gymnastics Arena. The group had three performances with a day off in between each. All of the concerts had sold out within eight seconds of tickets going on sale. They were excited about having time to go on adventures in the city but knew it would be limited because of the fans. They were still not used to the attention – they couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without being mobbed.

Baekhyun did not enjoy performing as much these days either. No matter how much he tried to concentrate on the show, he would always worry about Chanyeol over exerting himself and passing out again. He hated every single emotion those memories brought back. Back in the day he would have confided in Chanyeol and Chanyeol would have held and told him that everything was going to be okay. But not now – not since Chanyeol stabbed him in the heart.

He knew why Chanyeol did it – in a way he agreed with the logic – but it destroyed their friendship anyways. Baekhyun realized over the years that his feelings for Chanyeol weren’t a silly crush – they ran a lot deeper than that. But now, Baekhyun was left desperately chasing something he could never have. Having survived their first concert - spending three hours pretending to not be head over heels in love with Chanyeol while throwing an arm around his shoulder and singing about playboys – Baekhyun was in desperate need of a drink. He wanted to go alone but Suho insisted on inviting himself and everyone else.

They went to Good World Seoul and sat at one of the back tables. Thankfully it was late at night so they didn’t have to worry about a large crowd of fans showing up. Baekhyun sat at the bar top with a bottle of Soju – contemplating leaving EXO. He didn’t want to go solo – he just wanted to stop feeling so miserable – he wanted to forget. Every day that he had to look at Chanyeol felt like his heart was being pulled out of his chest. Four years had passed and he still had not moved on.

“Hey you!” He closed his eyes in agony as that familiar hand landed on his thigh. “Do you want to play some pool?” Baekhyun shook his head, “No thanks, I want to finish my Soju.” “Okay,” Chanyeol said lightly, “maybe later.” Baekhyun didn’t have to look – he could hear the hurt expression in Chanyeol’s voice. As the clock reached midnight, the café started getting busy. Baekhyun had moved to the farthest corner of the bar top, trying to avoid a female fan that kept trying to flirt with him. She wouldn’t take the hint that Baekhyun just wanted to be left alone so he eventually had to get up and join the other members at their table to get away from her.

Not even ten minutes later, a tall military-built man stormed up to their table. “Hey! Just because you’re some stupid idol doesn’t mean that you can chat up my girlfriend!” Baekhyun moaned under his breath, “I wasn’t talking to your girlfriend.” “Funny,” the man said through clenched teeth, “my friends say differently.” “Well your friends are stupid!” Baekhyun snapped back.

Baekhyun knew the moment he said it that it was a mistake. The man grabbed him by the shirt and yanked him to his feet. “Would you like to say that again fairy?!” the man yelled, putting his face less than an inch from Baekhyun’s face.

“That’s enough!” said a voice loudly behind them. The man slowly relaxed his grip and turned to face Chanyeol. “Mind your own business,” he snarled. “If you touch my friend again, it will be my business,” Chanyeol warned. “Stay out of it,” Baekhyun snapped, “this was just on his way out anyways.”

It happened in a blink of an eye – the man pulled his arm back, aiming a punch at Baekhyun’s cheek. Chanyeol jumped forward and grabbed the man by the arm. The man spun around and jabbed Chanyeol hard in the stomach before making a violent grab at Baekhyun. Baekhyun quickly moved out of the way just as two police officers arrived and handcuffed the man.

Suho quickly hurried over to Chanyeol who was still bent over holding his stomach, “Chanyeol! You’re hurt!” “No, I’m fine hyung.” “Are you sure you’re okay Chanyeol,” he asked concerned. “I’m fine, I just lost my breath from the punch.”

Baekhyun stomped up to Chanyeol, “What the was that!” He was feeling irrationally angry at Chanyeol for putting himself in harm’s way to protect him. “That guy was about to punch you,” Chanyeol said coolly. “I don’t need you – of all people – to protect me!” Baekhyun snapped, “Why can’t you just leave me alone!”

“Baekhyun!” Suho said sternly but Baekhyun had had enough. He turned around and ran out of the front door.

“Baekhyun!” He paused as he realized it was no longer Suho calling his name. Being too cowardly to talk to Chanyeol, he kept walking. “Don’t you dare walk away from me Baekhyun!” Chanyeol shouted, sounding equally as angry. The streets were empty and there was a slit chill in the air. He had no idea where he was going to go – he just had to get out of there.

“Byun Baekhyun!” “Baekhyun!” Chanyeol called after him continuously, sounding more irritated with each one. “Why are you acting like this?!” Chanyeol shouted, “For God sakes will you stop acting like a ing child! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“Baekhyun! Wait! Please wait!” Chanyeol was now pleading and Baekhyun was so tempted to turn around. “Baekhyun, please!" Baekhyun could hear the pain in his voice and even though it killed him to hear Chanyeol upset, he didn’t stop walking.

“Baekhyun! Hel…I…” Chanyeol’s voice slowly faded. Part of him was glad that Chanyeol had stopped following him but the other part of him was hurt that he had given up so quickly.

“Baekhyun! Please! Baby, turn around!” Turn around? What? Baekhyun frowned and slowly turned to see Chanyeol trying to hold himself upright on a sidewalk bench, clutching his stomach. Baekhyun started to feel guilty that he had made Chanyeol chase after him just as Chanyeol’s legs crumpled and he fell to the ground.  

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun screamed, running over to him. “What’s wrong? I’m here! Talk to me!” Baekhyun begged through his quickly forming tears. Chanyeol whimpered, “It hurts – something is wrong.” Baekhyun quickly lifted up Chanyeol’s shirt to show a large patch of purple skin on his stomach. “Oh my god,” Baekhyun gasped as he pulled out his phone and called for help.

-----------

Baekhyun frantically called Suho while they waited for an ambulance. Just as it arrived, Sehun, Luhan, and Suho came running down the street and jumped into the ambulance as it pulled away. “What happened?” Suho cried, gripping Baekhyun’s shoulders. “He just fell!” Baekhyun wailed and Suho pulled him into a tight hug. When they arrived at the emergency room at ASAN Medical Center, the paramedics rushed Chanyeol inside as the boys followed. The doctor quickly came into the trauma room to do his patient assessment. “Patient’s name is Park Chanyeol,” the paramedic said. “Hello Chanyeol, my name is Dr. Kyoungsoo Lim, can you tell me how old you are?” “Thirty,” Chanyeol mumbled as he closed his eyes. “Chanyeol,” Dr. Lim said firmly, “I know it hurts but I need you to open your eyes for me.” Chanyeol didn’t reply. “Chanyeol?” Dr. Lee said as she checked his eyes with the light. “Patient has gone unconscious,” Dr. Lee informed her staff, “boys, I need you to stand outside please.”

In the hallway, a nurse questioned each of the boys. “Can anyone tell me what happened?” she asked. “He got punched in the stomach…we were walking…and his legs just gave out.” “Okay, do you know if Chanyeol had any previous medical conditions?” Baekhyun crinkled his nose, trying to remember. “Um…he’s allergic to cats and four years ago he suffered from Hypoxemia which put him in a coma for over a week and then passed out again so he had to have a blood transfusion.” Baekhyun could barely stand up – if Suho had not been gripping his shoulders he probably would have passed out himself.

“I need SNUH on the phone now!” one of the nurses shouted from the room. Baekhyun desperately tried to see into the window and saw that Chanyeol’s shirt had been ripped open, exposing the massive internal bleeding in his stomach. Another nurse came out to speak to the boys, “We need to air lift Chanyeol to SNUH. Only one of you can ride with him in the helicopter.”

“You go,” Suho said, pushing Baekhyun forward, “the rest of us will ride in a cab.” Baekhyun followed the paramedics up to the roof where a helicopter was waiting with its propellers running. Baekhyun took a seat on the bench as the paramedics lifted Chanyeol into the helicopter. His stomach lurched as the roar of the helicopter engine came to life. Baekhyun knew he wouldn’t be able to handle looking at Chanyeol so instead, he lifted up his hand and kissed his palm firmly. If anything else happened that night – Baekhyun would never forgive himself.

------------

Baekhyun was frozen in shock at the sight of Chanyeol’s room number. Was this some kind of joke or was karma really being a ? He stared up and the small red sign that said “Room 61”. Baekhyun wiped the tears from his eyes as he pushed open the door and walked inside. He heard the all-too familiar sounds of the heart monitor beeping and the whooshing of the ventilator.

“I love you,” he whispered, slowly his fingers down Chanyeol’s cold, pale cheeks.

--------------

Suho shifted uncomfortably on his feet in front of the media circus that had formed outside of the hospital. He was so exhausted to the point where he could not feel any more emotion. But this was the role that he had accepted – it was going to be hard but he had to get through it. He spoke harshly above the roaring crowd, “As most of you here know, Chanyeol was admitted to ASAN Medical Center a few hours ago after being physically attacked by a drunken member of the public. He was transferred here where he is undergoing treatment for a ruptured artery. He survived his emergency surgery but is still currently in critical condition. His recovery will be long and painful. We would like to thank our fans for all of your get well wishes. We love you very much. That is all, thank you.” He stepped back shaking, feeling Seunghwan squeeze his shoulder. Suho couldn’t shake this sickening feeling that the next time he had to address the media, the news would be devastating.

-----------

“I know you said we shouldn’t risk our friendship for something unknown…” Baekhyun whispered, his lips brushing against Chanyeol’s hand. “It’s been four years Chanyeol. Four years and I am still in love with you,” he said as tears started to slowly fall down his cheeks. “I have tried so hard to give you want you said you wanted. I really have tried Chanyeol but I can’t stop – I can’t stop loving you. I have no doubts – I am 100% in love with you with ever fiber in my being. These last four years without you – having to be distant – has destroyed everything that I am. I need you Chanyeol. I can’t do this without you – I need you so much.”

He pressed more kisses into Chanyeol’s palm, “I’m ready. God I am so ready. I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s worth it Chanyeol. It’s worth risking our friendship. I can’t lose you, not like this. There is so much we have left unsaid and you still owe me that kiss you promised. If you had not answered your stupid phone the last time we almost kissed you would have felt it too – you would have seen that I am genuine.”

Beep. Baekhyun’s eyes squeezed shut as he shook his head.

“No, please don’t do this.”

Beep.

“I love you. Baby, please don’t. Don’t do this to me.

Beep. Beep.

“I love you! Can you hear me? I love you so much. I’m right here baby!” Baekhyun cried as he placed Chanyeol’s hand against his heart.

Baekhyun began to uncontrollably sob at the sound of Chanyeol’s heart monitor going into a flat, single beep. The nurses and Dr. Lee rushed into his room at the sound of the alarm, “Code 543!”

“Chanyeol! No! Please don’t leave me!” Baekhyun screamed through his tears.

“Charge to 100; Clear!” Chanyeol’s back arched off of the bed. “Patient is still in V-Fib!” the nurse called back.

“Come on Chanyeol!” Baekhyun screamed as he wrapped his arms around his chest, sobbing, “Fight! You have to fight for me!”

“Charge to 150; Clear!” Chanyeol’s back arched off of the bed again mockingly as a nurse began chest compressions. “Charge to 200; Clear!” the doctor shouted.

“Dr. Lee,” one of the nurses said quietly, “we’re at maximum voltage.” The doctor closed her eyes before she readied the paddles one more time, “Charge to 250; Clear!”

Come on baby, Baekhyun chanted, trembling inside of the doorway. Dr. Lee put down the paddles and pulled out her light and stethoscope. After a few minutes of listening to Chanyeol’s chest and looking at his eyes she said, “I don’t think there is anything else that we can do. I’m going to call time of…”

“NO!!!” Baekhyun shrieked, “No! One more time, please! Please! You have to do something! You have to save him!” Baekhyun rushed forward, grabbing Dr. Lee’s coat as he begged her to try again. “I can’t-” she started to say, “Please! Just one more time! Please!”

Dr. Lee looked around at all of the nurses who stood silently, shaking their heads, “Stop chest compressions.” “Please,” Baekhyun sobbed, “One more time, please!” Dr. Lee looked torn, “I’m sorry, I could lose my job…” “I won’t tell anyone!” Baekhyun yelled.

Sighing, Dr. Lee raised the paddles, “Charge to 250; Clear!” Chanyeol’s back arched again.

Every set of eyes were on the heart monitor. Come on! Damn it! Come on! Baekhyun pleaded internally. He couldn’t even see the line on the heart monitor through his tears and blurry vision.

.

.

.

Seconds passed – nothing.

.

.

.

All of the nurses looked down at their feet.

“NO!” Baekhyun screamed.