trigger warnings, just in case!

ALSO dont read this chapter if you liked the ending on the other. Seriously. It may ruin it for you

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Her funeral was sad. That's the only word that could describe it. Sad. Funerals are usually sad, but this was extremely sad. She had been a person who was easy to love and easy to be friends with, so there were many guests there. No one was smiling, no one was making small talk. It was a quiet and silent black ocean of people coming to say there final goodbyes.  Even the doctor that had been around for the whole hospital drama showed up to pay his final respects. He never knew her, but later Yongsun learned that he wished he had. "She seems like a good person that have a lot of people caring for her."

Speeches had been held, by friends, co-workers and family. Yongsun couldn't. She knew the moment she said her name, actknowledged her death, the panick would fill her. She would get panick attacks frequently after her death, and she tried her best to avoid them, and would instead hurt in silence. 

Before the guest had come, they, the closest one to her, had gotten to see her one last time. Wheein, Hyejin and Yongsun. She was dressed up in such nice clothes, a pair of slim, black pants, white shirt and a black blazerjacket. She would have gotten so mad at them if they dressed her up in something that wasn't her style for her final resting clothes, so Yongsun had found one of her personal favorite outfits she would wear from her closet for her. 

Yongsun hadn't seen her body since that day, so walking into the sideroom of the church, she was shaking. It would be hard, she would be right there and appear alive and well, just resting. Wheein was helping her walk over, supporting her so her feets would fail on her. She could see her. Dhe wasn't close to the casket yet, but she could see her. Outside, she had the most strong stone expression she could put on, but inside she felt like crying, yelling and cursing all the gods for doing this to her moon.
"It's okay, Yong, it's okay." Wheein whipspered to her, and Yongsun breathed in. She had something to do and she couldn't do it with disturbance from her own feelings.
Finally at the casket, Yongsun leaned down and sat on her knees, so she would be at the same lever as her.
For a long time, she just looked at other girls face. Studied it, like she was getting one, final look to take it all in. Which, in theory, she was. Byul had so much to her, it was impossible to get used to her face. It was too beautiful and perfect for this world to deserve. Yongsun had tried, and her heart had still skipped a beat every time she saw her face. 
Carefully, she placed her fingers in the younger girl's hair and let her fingerd glide through it. A small, sad smiled formed on Yongsun's face while looking down on her Moon.
"You'll be alright without me, right Byul?" She carefully asked, with a low and soft voice filled with emotions. 
"Don't you worry. This is just for a while. It may feel like forever, but before you know it, we will be together again. Don't be too sad, okay Byul?" Yongsun asked, and had to bite her lip and take a deep breath in through her nose to make sure she would cry. She couldn't cry, not yet. 
Letting her fingers fiddle after something in her purse, she finally found it. A necklace. The necklace with the sun on. Similar to her moon necklace. Gently, she put the necklase around her neck while moving some of her hair that was in the way and locked it.
She fixed the younger girls hair again and looked down on her. There she was. Her Moon. She looked so good. She looked good any day. She even looked good when she woke up in the early morning, unshowered, no makeup, not even properly dressed yet. Yongsun liked that the best. She looked so natural. It was like light almost reflected of her, because in Yongsun's eyes she was too perfect light couldn't even accept her. When she smiled and her unmakeup'ed eyes would squint a bit and her nose wrinkle, she absolutely loved that.

After the funeral was done, Yongsun would regurarly be at the graveyard. Once a week, she would get flowers or a candle, place it all nearly by the grave, remove leaves and other weeds and then just talk. It was hard the first months, the talking turned in to crying. She had been sad for a very long time. But after many months, the crying became quiet sobs and after some more months, she could just talk. Talk normally. She would tell Byul-yi about her day, things that had happened, things she would do in the future, opportunities she had gotten. Just like they had always used to. And she felt like she was listening. Something just felt right about it, like she was sitting up there, listening to every word escaping . So Yongsun kept coming once a week on thuraday afternoon and she would repeat the same routine. She even got to know some of the people at the church and they grew fond of her; to think that someone that had a love of that sort, the sort they didn't really support, would still come once a week after their death just so she could talk to them, not leave them, it made the people working at church start realizing that it was real love between the two girls. And it had been, it had been the realest love to exist.

For the past two years, Yongsun had stayed in touch with Taemin. The first times through coincidences, meeting at weird places such as cafes and amusement park, thinking this was destiny trying to push them together. They finally exchanged phone number because they enjoyed each others company and keep bumping into each other like this would just be ridiculous. Nothing more, the talk between went smoothly and they made the other laugh. Just simple friends, that's what they was.

Or was what it had started as.

Eleven months after they had saved each others names in the phone contact list, Taemin confessed to Yongsun. His feelings for her had just build up and despite all the odds for him getting rejected, he still did it. He needed to get it off his chest. He had knew how much the other girl had meant to Yongsun, but it had almost been three years since her death. He didn't expect her to have forgotten her, but he still wanted to take the chance.
Yongsun couldn't return his feelings.
Even if she wanted.
It would be wrong to Byul-yi. I promised her I would wait for her and asked her to wait for me. I told her to wait for me to come to her. I can't come to where she is with someone else by my side. I'm sorry.
She had told this to Taemin, eyes on her shoes and fingers carefully touching the moon that hang around her neck. She never took it off, except showers. Once it had fallen off and went in the drain and she had gotten a panick attack wen she couldn't find it. Thankfully, Hyejin managed to locate it, stuck in the pipe. After that incident, she took care of it like it was to most precious thing in the world.
She still visited Byul-yi's grave ever thursday.
She would still place a plate over her on the table the days she ate alone, ready for her when she came home late from work.
She would still buy extra chicken every time she bought take away, because Byul-yi especially loved chicken.
She would still sing loudly in the shower next to her bedroom at night, because the days Byul-yi stayed over and was too tired to shower with her, she had told Yongsun she enjoyed listening to her sing.

No.

She couldn't accept Taemin. 
She had Byul. 
She would forever have Byul, she would always be in her heart. She didn't need her physically. It was good enough for her.
With an apology, Taemin had shook his head. "Don't worry," he had told her. "I understand. I'll wait." 

Six months after that, he told her again. He got the same answer.

Two months later again. Three is a charm, right? This time, Yongsun had broken into tears. Taemin had tried to comfort her, but he couldn't. 
"Why do I keep doing this? Over and over I reject you. You are such a nice guy and I feel like such an ." Yongsun cried out in frustration at herself in the empty 11am sidewalk.
"Yongsun, please don't, I unde-" He was cut off.
"I'm so patethic. I still love her. It been soon four years and I love her from the moon and back and I still can't breathe when I think about her, and, and I mis-" her voice broke together and she fell to the floor. When she had first started getting out what had been cloaked inside her for four years, she couldn't stop it. It all came out at once. Her tought, pokerface was gone.
"I miss her so damn much and it was so unfair. She was so young and it's just too damn unfair. Why did it have to be her?! Why couldn't it have been me instead?!" She cried out in frustration, sitting on the sidewalk ground. Taemin crouched down beside her.
"Ya, don't say thing like tha-" He was cut off once again.
"It should have been me, not her. She is too good for this would, why did it have to be her?! She was one of those people that could have made world peace just with her smile. " A loud gasp for air, before she continued. "It's all my fault, I told her to hurry up. I sent her text, pretending to be mad and told her to hurry. She didn't drive safely, and even without seatbelts. If it weren't for me, she would have been with me today." Yongsun sobbed out so loud that they would get complains soon if she continued but honestly she didn't care. For the last four years, all she had done was blame herself, because it was her fault Byul-yi hadn't been careful on that one car ride. That's what she thought atleast, because the only thing she had known for sure was that she had been driving uncarefully, which wasn't Byul at all. Going four years blaming herself for the death, it was hard. It does things to a person. Before Taemin could even say something, she continued.
"I can't do anything. You are so nice and she is gone, but I can't let her go. I'm not able to move on and it's killing me. How do I explain my future kids that I have to leave to the graveyard for a couple of hours every thursday or I get this intense pain in my body, like my body i punishing me for her death, or that every time I notice my necklace is gone I can't breathe and I start panicking? They may be scared of their own mom, or think I'm crazy. I, I just-" Yongsun couldn't continued, she just bawled out. 
Sitting on her knees and legs, woth head down, she cried just as badlt as she had done the first time she found out Byul was in the hospital. Taemin was the only one that had seen her both times. 
He figured words wouldn't help, so he simply put her arms around her in a hug. 
And they stayed like that for the longest time, Yongsun crying her heart and all feelings out and Taemin holding around her.

Wheein had been the one to find her. She never realised how bad her friend's mental condition had changed over just a few years. She never talked about anything hinting to it and she acted normal around both her and Hyejin. She had seemed happy, like nothing was bothering her. Her mind was clean and fresh.
That's why when she walked into her appartment saturday morning and not getting a reply from the girl when she shouted her usual "good morning sunshine~", she knew something was wrong. She had tried a few more times with "Yongsun?" and "Solar?", but when there was no response to even that, she got scared. A thought popped into her mind, a small though she hoped and prayed wouldn't be correct, but when she opened the bedroom door, she got it all confirmed.

When she arrived at the hospital, it was too late. Her heart hadn't been beating for a long time, her brain was lacking oxygen and her liver was ruined. She had only left a single note, filled with watermarks after her tears. It had one single work on it, written in the top left corner. "Sorry."

When she woke up to whiteness, she understood where she was. She could see herself in a small, white room, only with a chair, a table, a painting of a piano and a door. Everything was white, even her clothes, which was a simple, dress and flats. Despite the shots of pain in her stomach and liver area, Yongsun got up quicker than ever and over to the door. When she pulled the handle down, the door opened right away and revealed a long, white hallway, with many doors similar to hers. 
"This is what it looks like. I imagined more clouds."
But she didnt let herself think for long before she exited the room and closed the door. She expected someone, something, to greet her, but there was no one there. It was completely silent. She broke the silence.
"Byul-yi!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, before hurridly moving down the hallway. No response. She tried again, but the only response she would get was the echo of her own voice.
Her pace got faster and she made her way through several hallways, before she finally found a different door. A huge, almost gate-like door in this huge building.
Yongsun didn't hesitate one bit. She put her hands on the gate and pushed it open.
She had thought the building she was in was bright, but it seemed like a basement compared to what hit her.
She was blended. Literally, she couldn't see a single thing. She stood there for what seemed like forever, blinking, until what seemed like a normal, busy smalltown appeared in front of her. Confusion filled Yongsun, and she took a step out to look at the building she came out of. "Acceptence Area" read on a sign over the door. Her eyes went back to the people in the town. All wearing white, walking around or sitting down, having conversations or laughing. They didn't seem to give her more than a couple of looks, before retuening to their buissness. Like she wasn't anything unusual. 
Then she saw her.
A park maybe 400 meters away, but she could stop her in any crowd. She could see the profile of her face perfectly. She was sitting with two other girls, laughing about something.
Yongsun eyes filled up with tears. There she was. Her moon. Like she had never left her. Still looking just like she had did the last time se saw her. Her heart was beating harder than ever and she couldn't breathe properly because there she was. She didn't even think twice before screaming out her name, to frozen in her place to start running. She needed her to turn around, she needed to get it confirmed that it was her moon, and only her moon, sitting there.

It had been like any other day, pretty much. She had hanged out with friends, nothing unusual. No one she knew from before was her yet, so making new friends had ben nesssacary. They all had gotten her too early, for different reasons.
Eunbi had just told a joke and Byul-yi was laughing at it, every single nose muscle wrinkle visible. It had been a great joke, really. Her head had focused on the joke to much, that when Rise told her that one of the new arrivald was screaming her name, she got confused. She looked at the for a few seconds before she heard the voice screaming for herself. She heard her voice.
No.
It couldn't be.
She can't be here.
Byul-yi turned her head very slowly, most of her wanting for the love of god for it not to be her, and a little part praying it was.
The small part one.
There she stood.
Her angel. Her angel that se had put through so much pain. She had heard the things she would talk with her about every thursday. Death was weird, you were still connected to earth in some ways, but you weren't as well.
Byul-yi got up slowly.
There she was. She couldn't believe her own eyes. It was her, right? Of course it was her, no one looked like her. No one shined like her.
Not even caring about her friend anymore, she started running. She needed to close the space between them. 
It took only seconds before they collapsed into each other in the middle, Yongsun with a tearwet face and Byul-yi out of breathe.
The blondine hugged around her and pressed her against herself as good as she could. With one hand on her head, already intwined with the hair, and the other around her waist. Yongsun was clinging around the tallers waist like it depended on her life, while crying and sobbing.
"I'm sorry, Byullie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm sorr-" she started crying out, almost inaudible because of the sobs. She was blaming herself for the youngers death so badly. She got cut off by her.
"Yongsunnie-ah, stop crying. Please, stop." Byul-yi comforted her and couldn't believe it. She wasn't suppose to be with Yongsun for many and many years, why was she here? Yongsun was suppose to get kids and a spouse and live the life they couldn't have together before them meeting again. 
But she couldn't bring it up now. She just kept the older girl closer to her than she had even done.
"I'm sorry for keeping you in pain, I'm sorry for clinging on to your life, I'm sorry for making you hurry ho-" Yongsun continued, sounding like an absolute reck right now, which is what she was, but she was cut off once again by Byul-yi breaking the hug and cupoing her face, keeping their faces only centimeter apart.

"Don't. Stop now. Nothing is your fault Yongsun. I'm sorry for driving recklessly. I'm sorry for not taking a bus when my carseatbelt was broken. I'm sorry for causing all that pain to you in the hospital and on the funural. I'm sorry for the damaged it did to you afterwards, the damaged my reckless decision have done to you. And I'm sorry all of this caused you to come here." Byul-yi was crying as well. Her lip was shaking, before bringing their forehead together.
"I'm sorry." She said, her voice breaking for the first time. They looked at each other with tear-wet eyes for what felt like years but was only seconds, before the small space between their lips were closed.

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au; honestly, im not feeling this chapter. i have had it finished for quite some time now, but i wasnt sure if i wanted to post it or not, beause i really liked how it ended in the last chapter. but then i thought about some people may want this, so it's here for you guys! if you are like me and preferred the previous ending, pretend like this doesnt exist! either way, with this one imm finally calling this fic a conplete! i'm working on the idea and plot for the next one, but it isnt done yet, but keep a look out for that if you want to! so yeah, thank you for now and thank you for reading this small fic of mine!