A few days later, the Got7 members were all milling about in a waiting room that also doubled up as their make-up and wardrobe station. The guys were all pretty excited for the Naver Starcast filming as it was the first schedule that kicked off their new promotion cycle. At least, six of them were. Jackson was nowhere to be found – again. Right after Jinyoung and Bambam had arrived from Gwangju where they had to film for M-Countdown, Jackson was whisked off for a small schedule in between. Though Jackson was supposed to co-MC the show, he had no choice but to leave and was currently being rushed back to the studio – at least, that’s what he had said in the Got7 group chat.

To fill in their time while waiting for recording to begin, each member had found or developed their own way of ‘milling about’. Jinyoung was, of course, engrossed in a book while JB usually rested or slept in a corner away from the noise. Yugyeom, if not fooling around with Bambam or teasing Jinyoung, could usually be found resting as well, probably tired out due to all the extra hours of dance practice and lessons that he put in. Youngjae would be listening to music, Bambam would be stalking twitter and what about Mark? It was either sleep or games. This time round, it was Clash of the Empires. He liked games that took time to develop rather than straight out 1 on 1 battles like King of Fighters. He just preferred puzzles.

They had already been briefed when Jackson was there but now, some amendments had been made to the programme sequence while Jackson was absent. While Jackson was a natural at MC-ing, probably because of his spontaneous personality, he still had trouble reading the cue cards at times because he wasn’t as proficient in reading Korean yet.

Mark, knowing all this, wanted to fill Jackson in on the last minute adjustments. He took special note of how Jackson’s cues and lines had changed just so he could pin point exactly what Jackson had to remember. Jackson had yet to arrive though, so Mark plugged in his earphones to make some progress in levelling up. He just needed a handful more points to get access to a new build. He turned the volume on quite loud, certain that when Jackson came there’d be such a fuss that he’s notice straightaway.

A little bit more, come on, --- and, YES! LEVEL UP! Mark grinned to himself and glanced round for an instant. To his surprise, he discovered that Jackson had actually arrived! Glad as he was to see Jackson, he felt a pang in his heart when he saw that Jinyoung was already coaching Jackson about the cue cards while the make-up artists fussed over getting Jackson ready for the show.

Mark studied the blonde and dark-haired friends together for a moment as Jinyoung diligently went through the sequence with Jackson paying Jinyoung the utmost attention.

Mark looked back down at his game that was awaiting his next move. Oh well, Jinyoung would certainly be able to tell Jackson what to do but, for some reason, some unexplainable reason, Mark had wanted to be the one to update Jackson. He’d even repeated the pointers in his head to simplify things. Looks like he took the effort for nothing – not that Jackson would ever know and Mark certainly wasn’t petty enough to actually tell him.

Biting down a sigh, he continued his game though his enthusiasm at gaining a new level had utterly disappeared. He had thought that with active promotions coming up, Jackson would be around more and he had been looking forward to that. Jackson was certainly around but not around enough, at least, not around Mark enough. In fact, Mark had noticed that Jackson was fooling around more with Jinyoung these days. Jinyoung and Jackson had always been close but Mark… Mark wasn’t sure what he felt anymore. Biting his lip, he tried to forget it – it was frustrating to think about anyways.

After a while, a hand waved itself in front of his face, obscuring the screen of his iphone. He knew that hand immediately, recognising the shape of its fingers as well as the rings that adorned them. Odd how such a small gesture from Jackson asking for his attention made his mood lighter.

He removed his earphones and looked up at Jackson standing right next to him. One thing Mark liked about his friendship with Jackson was that Jackson could often understand what he was thinking or wanted without him having to say anything. So, Jackson knew that by raising his eyebrows slightly, he meant ‘What is it?’ He never had to waste words with Jackson and it was only of late that he was beginning to realise how special that was.

“We’ve to take photos. It’s for Starcast. Pairs, then solo shots,” Jackson informed Mark before reaching out to tuck in a stray lock of Mark’s hair that had escaped the tons of hairspray they usually had on them.

“’Kay,” Mark replied and got up, putting away his phone in the process. Mark followed Jackson’s lead through the maze of filming equipment and sets, stopping when someone called out to Jackson.

“Jackson!”

“Right here! Coming!” Jackson replied and scampered to the set of his photoshoot. It was a one-seater chair so he sat down first. His partner would just sit on his lap – like in almost all photoshoots. Mark walked up to Jackson and was just about to do so when the photographer yelled for Jinyoung.

“Junior! We’re ready!”

“Yes, yes, coming! So sorry, terribly sorry,” said Jinyoung rushing on to the set, half bowing in apology for being late. Brushing past Mark, he plonked himself unceremoniously unto Jackson’s lap.

Watching Mark’s reaction and growing confusion in his eyes, it was only then that Jackson realised his mistake and kicked himself for not having explained to Mark about the pairings. “You’re with Gyeommie, hyung,” Jackson told Mark, his big eyes slightly apologetic – not that it made any difference to the sudden bitter feeling Mark had.

“Mark, your set is over there,” the photographer pointed. “Ready?” he asked Jackson and Jinyoung who were already shifting themselves around to get into a more comfortable position.

Mark bowed his head to signal his apologies and hurried off to where Yugyeom was already waiting for him. As he got ready to smile for the camera, Mark tried to stop being disgruntled. The way Jackson had called him made him think that they were supposed to take the photos together. Not that Mark wanted to be with Jackson all the time. He’d be glad to partner anybody really but somehow, having been under the impression that they were supposed to shoot together brought about unexpected disappointment when it didn’t happen.  

To top it off, Mark could see Jackson and Jinyoung’s set out of the corner of his eye and though he tried to focus on his own shoot with Gyeom, the laughter and slight screams from the other set claimed his attention. Of course Jackson would try to cuddle Jinyoung, of course Jackson would crack silly jokes or pull faces to get Jinyoung to laugh. Of course Jackson would do all these things… It’s just, Mark wished as he wrinkled his nose and looked into the camera lens, he wished he and Jinyoung could swap places.

***

“3, 2, 1 – ”

“Welcome to Naver Just Right Live Party!” cheered the Got7 members enthusiastically. Mark was sitting on the bed with Youngjae but to his right was Jackson who was sitting on the couch next to JB. Their sitting and standing arrangements as a group were usually determined for them so Mark was happy that he got to be next to Jackson this time round. It was an arrangement that didn’t happen often.

As the show progressed, Mark noticed that Jackson was having trouble keeping track of the itinerary. Jackson kept flipping the cue cards back and forth to look for what he had to say and behind the smiles and laughter, Mark could tell that Jackson was getting frustrated. The last-minute changes were a bit too much and the members weren’t really helping either because they kept switching topics and going off-tandem.

So Mark, having kept a mental note of everything earlier, subtly tried to help Jackson, flipping through the cards for him to look for the right page which left Jackson free to react to what the others were doing.

The show went on, things were upbeat and fun, but Mark could tell that Jackson was inwardly beating himself up for having missed his cues and lines. With his background as an athlete, Mark knew that Jackson was used to being hard on himself – always wanting to do better, always wanting to break his own limits. Honestly, Mark thought it wasn’t all that healthy. True, a measure of it kept one from being complacent but constantly beating himself up for not having done better isn’t a good thing.

When it was time to eat, Jackson didn’t touch the chicken or pizza because he was on diet. While the guys for it, Mark kept silent because he knew how much Jackson actually liked to snack and how refusing to eat took a lot of will power. After their years as trainees and then as roommates, Mark knew Jackson had food cravings especially during the late hours of the night. It was his athletic metabolism, Mark guessed. Training as a fencer meant that Jackson needed a lot of food for energy everyday so he was used to that cycle. Now, Jackson spent most of his time sitting down as he travelled from one place to another. Plus, they only had a certain amount of dance practice to burn off the calories so the imbalance had caused Jackson to put on some weight.

The others might not have noticed but Jackson did seem a little down which was why Mark put his arm around Jackson to give him a shoulder hug, patting his shoulder in the process. He couldn’t say anything because the mics would pick it up. All he could do was to give Jackson small signals to say that things were fine.

Finally, the show ended and with loud calls of “you’ve worked hard, thank you,” from the boys to the staff, they could call it a day. The moment they walked off the set, Jackson whipped off his dark green GOLF sweater to cool down a little and the headband that did nothing but add to the sweat.

“That hot, huh?” commented Mark as they gathered their own clothes to change out of their MV outfits.

“Always, man, always. Me and heat, especially with those spotlights,” groaned Jackson, gladly accepting a towel from Mark to wipe off the sweat from his brow and neck.

Mark couldn’t help but grin. “You’ll survive,” he quipped as they changed in the same dressing room. It was normal for them, they were roommates. They just didn’t look or stare, that’s all.

“You coming home tonight?” asked Mark as he tugged his shirt over his head.

“Yeah, at last,” laughed Jackson, slipping his arms through his loose tank top. “It’s been ages, seems like. Like it’s always one thing or another, you know. Sometimes I go to sleep and forget where I am. It’s weird to wake up and realise that your top bunk isn’t there. Not that we always had the bunk bed. That was quite recent, wasn’t it? And it was my choice, you didn’t like it cause you said the colour was too dark.”

Mark smiled a little to himself as Jackson rambled on and on, often just talking about whatever happened to cross his mind while they walked to their vans. And Mark didn’t mind at all. Not one bit. It was just like old times again, just like the days they used to spend together as trainees. The thing with Jackson was that whatever he talked about wasn’t boring, even if it were dull, Jackson somehow made it sound interesting so Mark never really grew tired of listening to him. Admittedly, there were times Mark had wanted him to stop but those moments were few and far between now – especially because Jackson was usually either too tired or not around at all. Having Jackson so chatty around him was something Mark had come to appreciate a whole lot more.

They got to the two vans parked side by side, both doors open so that the guys could hop in. Mark walked to the further one and stood by the door. Jackson instinctively climbed into the back seat and Mark climbed in after him. Jackson continued the conversation for a bit but he soon dozed off, rocked to sleep by the motion of the car as it made its way back to their dorm.

Mark studied Jackson’s face, illuminated once in a while by the passing streetlights. The makeup had all been removed so Mark could see the dark rings around Jackson’s eyes and the general weary look of his face. Seriously, Jackson was pushing himself too hard. All for the group. That was what made Mark’s heart hurt a bit. Because Jackson was giving so much and yet…

Mark let him sleep, watching Jackson as he got lost in his thoughts. It was only when they arrived at the dorm that Mark reached out to give Jackson’s shoulder a gentle shake.

“We’re here,” Mark told Jackson. Jackson squeezed his eyes together before opening them in a daze.

“Home?”

“Home.”

“Good. That’s good,” Jackson murmured, stretching a little before he jumped out of the van with Mark in his wake. Together with the members, they took the lift, got to their dorm and without further ado, wished each other good night and headed to their rooms.

Before Jackson slept though, he called out to Mark in the darkness.

“Hey, Mark?”

“Yea?”

“Wake me up when you wanna go get breakfast, alright? Just in case I’m not up yet.”

“Okay.”

“Let’s go to that café we found the other day, the one with really good coffee. We said we’d go back, you know, we promised the owner.”

“Yeah, sounds fine.”

“Yay,” Jackson cheered in a muffled yawn. “Night, Mark.”

“Night, Jackson.”

And so, accompanied by Jackson’s snoring, Mark fell asleep. Home it was, especially when Jackson was with him.

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two more chapters left! :D