It began with small things, like how Jackson sometimes chose to sit in the other car, or asked other guys to go out and eat, or even just wandering off backstage while waiting for filming to begin. Mark hadn’t noticed it at first but gradually, he found that he had more time… alone.

Not that Mark didn’t like being alone. Goodness knows how often he had wished that he could have his own room. Jackson was a great guy, a close friend but seriously, sometimes, Mark just wished Jackson would shut up once in a while. Jackson had way too much energy and for the life of him, Mark couldn’t figure out how Jackson just kept going. All the extra filming Jackson had to do for other shows had taken its toll for a while cause it made Jackson tired but that didn’t change Jackson’s cheery nature. No matter how tired Jackson got, Jackson would make it a point to talk to Mark, asking him lots of questions, nag him about stuff sometimes (Mark tended to leave important stuff like his wallet lying around) and pester him about the lyrics they were writing together for their new album.

Really, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Jackson had never left Mark alone – which was why Mark now felt… strange.

It wasn’t that something had happened, at least Mark didn’t think so. Like just that morning, Mark had woken up to find that Jackson had already gone off to the company with one or two of the guys. Puzzled, Mark tried to recall what had happened the night before as he washed up and dressed to go to the company for dance practice. Nothing out of the ordinary, right? The usual grunts as their way of saying good night and then lights off. Jackson, as always, fell asleep within seconds. Really, Mark thought, Jackson could at least have said that he wanted to go to the company earlier. He’d willingly have gone with him.

As it were, Mark was left to fend off the fangirls on his own. Biting down a sigh, Mark avoided eye contact and tried to side step the fans in order to get to the company entrance. If Jackson had been there, he’d at least be able to take some of the attention. Also, Mark realised as he finally got through the company door, Jackson often went ahead of Mark so all Mark had to do was follow the path Jackson forged through the crowd.

Pushing off the hood of his favourite grey sweater, Mark made his way down to the basement where they were supposed to practice. When he opened the door, he was greeted with the usual hello’s but there was one voice missing – Jackson’s. Odd, Mark thought, Jackson ought to be here. It was also with slight surprise that Mark realised he had actually been looking out for that familiar broad-shouldered figure and snapback. Of course, none of these thoughts were visible on his face. He was known to be expressionless most of the time.

Mark dumped his backpack on the lone black couch in the corner of the studio and started warming up, wondering once in a while where Jackson was. Was he filming for something again?

Turns out Jackson had run an errand and arrived only just as their dance coach walked in.

“Surprise!” yelled Jackson as he held two black convenience store plastic bags high in the air. “Drinks for you guys! On me!”

Bambam, Yugyeom and Youngjae swarmed to Jackson, eager to see what he had bought and soon, drinks were distributed among themselves. When Jackson handed Mark a can of iced coffee, Mark noted with pleasure that it was his favourite brand and his favourite flavour. “Thanks,” Mark murmured. That was the thing about Jackson. He usually remembered details like that very well.

“No problem, man,” Jackson replied with a grin but he turned away abruptly before Mark had a chance to respond to hand a drink over to their dance coach.

Mark watched as Jackson began to talk and fool around with, surprise, surprise, a little resentment. What had Mark expected? Certainly more than three words – maybe an explanation of why Jackson had left so early that morning, perhaps. Jackson usually told him everything even without him asking but, Mark was now beginning to notice, he didn’t do that often anymore.

Practice soon started and for the next few hours, the guys sweated it out as they practiced certain moves over and over again to get them sharp. It took constant full concentration and effort so by the end of it, they’re usually tired out.

Among the shouts of ‘you’ve worked hard’, Mark made his way to the couch to get his backpack. He wanted to go back to the dorm, take a shower and facetime with his nieces. Just as he picked up his bag, Jackson slid over to get his own stuff.

“Let’s leave together,” Mark said. It was more of a statement than a request because they usually walked or skateboarded back to the dorm together anyways.

“Not today. Sorry,” replied Jackson, an apologetic smile on his lips before he grabbed his belongings and left hurriedly with one of the managers waiting by the door.

Mark watched as Jackson’s figure vanished. Jinyoung, who happened to be nearby, noticed that Mark seemed to want an explanation for Jackson’s sudden disappearance. At least, that’s what Jinyoung interpreted from Mark’s ever so slight frown.

“He’s got to film an additional preview for Star King. It was a sudden request,” Jinyoung informed Mark before downing the last of his lemon honey tea that Jackson had gotten specifically for him, ‘to take care of his throat’, Jackson said. “Bleh,” Jinyoung commented with his face scrunched up, “it’s much better cold.”

“Mm,” was Mark’s reply.

Jinyoung thought that Mark seemed a little put out. “I’ll walk back with you if you want. I’ve got to do something upstairs but it won’t take long,” Jinyoung offered.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Mark said, hefting his backpack on his shoulder. “See you at the dorm.”

“Okay then, see you,” Jinyoung replied before leaving the studio himself.

Turns out Mark was the only one going back to the dorm. Yugyeom was going to stay and practice some more, Youngjae was going to barricade himself in a music room, Bambam was going to film something with Jimin and JB and Jinyoung had errands to do.

Repressing a sigh as he approached the company’s entrance because he’d have to fight his way through the crowd again, Mark found himself thinking of how easy it had been in the past to just walk to and fro from the company back to their dorm. Heck, he and Jackson could even chat as they walked – well, Jackson did most of the talking, Mark normally just listened. Man, things have changed. Taking a deep breath, he clenched his teeth, put on his sunglasses and braved the fangirls.

***

Mark checked the time on his mobile phone. 11pm. And still no sign of Jackson.

Throughout the evening, Mark had mostly stayed in his room, playing with Coco while lying on his bunk bed. Observing the adorable white bundle of fur either resting or playing on his torso was one of the few things he truly delighted in at the moment. Yet, every time he heard the door to the dorm open, he pricked up his ears to discern whether or not there was a loud familiar voice accompanying it. Cause it just meant that Jackson was back.

No such luck though. At dinner time, he’d come out when JB knocked on his door to tell him that their ordered dinner had arrived. Carrying Coco into the living room, where Youngjae gladly reached for his beloved daughter, Mark wondered whether or not to ask what Jackson was up to. The thing is, even if he asked, he doubted the others would know. Maybe Bambam though, Bambam might have an idea but did Mark want to go through the trouble of asking?

Nah, Mark decided. He can just wait anyways. Jackson was sure to come back because he hadn’t packed an overnight bag or anything of the sort.

Deciding that it was now fair for Youngjae to spend time cuddling Coco after dinner, Mark went back to his room and resumed his position on his bed with his Macbook open on his lap.

He was sure Jackson hadn’t packed an overnight bag. At least, his backpack had not seemed that big. But maybe, maybe the manager had come to pack stuff. Lifting his head off his pillow just enough to spy over the edge of his bed, Mark wondered if he should check if Jackson’s stuff had been taken. That thought was cut off, however, by once again another realisation – Mark had never bothered about stuff like this before. He had never been kept out of the loop regarding Jackson’s activities cause Jackson always talked about it whether or not Mark was in the mood to listen. But now –

He heard the click of the dorm door and lo and behold, a loud voice rang out “I’m back!”

Mark sat up and was about to go out but stopped himself. There wasn’t any reason to go out really. Jackson would come back to their room anyways. Besides, Mark was already ready to sleep. So he waited. Waited a little longer, and still a little more. What was keeping Jackson? He could hear voices still in the living room and frowned. One thing Jackson lacked was rest and yet, here he was, talking to the guys instead of getting some well-earned sleep.

That’s it. He’d just have to drag Jackson back to their room and insist he go to bed.

Just as Mark was about to swing one leg over the edge of the top bunk to get down, the door to their room opened.

“Oh, hi Mark. Still up?” said Jackson as a greeting, barely even glancing at his roommate. He just dumped his stuff in a corner and grabbed a towel.

“Yea-” Mark began to say but before even that short syllable left Mark’s lips, Jackson had left the room to shower.

What was this? Mark flopped back down on his bed, the slight frown that had been on his face now a tad more prominent. What was going on? Something had changed, something intangible. But Mark had no idea what.

Jackson was soon back and though Mark wanted to be the first one to speak, somehow he couldn’t think of what to say so Jackson, unperturbed, went about his nightly routine of getting ready for bed.

Mark’s eyes watched Jackson as he pottered around the room, opening various drawers to get the things he needed, especially for his skincare.

“Hey, Jackson,” said Mark after deciding that he’d just ask how Jackson’s day went. That was a harmless enough question.

“Sorry, Mark. Just a bit more then I’ll turn off the lights,” Jackson replied in a rush, slapping on some moisturiser and rubbing it roughly into his skin. “I know you’re tired,” continued Jackson, his voice a little muffled as he finished up. “There, done! I’ll turn off the lights,” said Jackson, jumping to his feet and with two steps skipped to where the light switch was. Flicking it off, he tumbled into bed with a sigh.

All the time this was happening, Mark had been trying to get a word in – to tell Jackson there was no need to rush. To say that he really wasn’t that tired. To basically imply that he didn’t mind staying up longer. Instead, now the room was plunged into darkness and that niggling uncomfortable feeling Mark had hadn’t gone away.

“Jack-” Mark tried again but Jackson, as it turns out, had chosen that very moment to speak too.

“Oh yea, Mark?” Jackson asked, obvious that he was trying to keep his voice down.

“Yea?” Mark replied, somewhat more interested than usual, perhaps even a tad hopeful. But for what? Mark didn’t know.

“I have to wake up at six. Going away,” said Jackson with a yawn, tossing to his side which cause the bunk bed to shake, “two days this time.”

“Oh, where to?”

“Somewhere, I can’t re~mem~ber,” came Jackson’s reply that was accompanied by another yawn.

“Kay,” Mark said and after a pause, added “Night.”

“Night.” Soon enough Jackson’s breathing turned into slight snores while Mark was left awake. Usually, he’d fall asleep quite quickly after Jackson but this time, Mark was preoccupied with confused thoughts. Was Jackson changing? Something definitely wasn’t the same between them – but what was it?

Mark had no idea what it was and damn it, it made him uneasy.