Senseless
Xiuhan Daily Drabble Challenge
“You did it again, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Are you ever going to stop?”
“This was the last time, I promise.”
Luhan takes both of Minseok’s hands in his and smiles, “I really promise this time. I love you.”
Minseok feels the familiar pang in his chest, heartbreak he’s experienced too many times. He blinks tears out of his eyes and nods slowly, smiling up at Luhan.
“Okay, I believe you.”
Luhan kisses him and ruffles his hair. He knew he was lying; they both knew he was lying.
He was too used to Luhan. It was too easy to love him. His heart told him to stay but his brain told him to go. His ears heard the ‘I love you’s’ and ‘I’m sorry’s’ but his eyes saw the way Luhan’s eyes looked left when he lied.
Minseok was stuck. Luhan was all he’d known since he was sixteen, there was no one else but him. But to Luhan, there were many others. He’d known this. He’d known the way Luhan was, but he hoped and gave second chances time and time again.
Minseok often wondered what it would feel like, for Luhan to love him the same, for him to get the same sparkle in his eyes as when he looks at Luhan. It was a fantasy of his, he would never admit, something real he wholeheartedly wished for.
Minseok was stuck. Caged in a fantasy he’d trapped himself in long ago and there was no way out until he could get his senses to agree to turn away.
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