Hey Notebook!

Chapter 5

Son Naeun

                Destiny is when you started seeing a perfectly imperfect person perfectly. Okay, that sounds like a love quote but I think it’s true. Humans are meant to be judging, they would look at you and talk about you no matter what. Humans would look for every flaw you got, something that they could use as a weakness against you. Humans are deceivers… but they also have feelings. And no matter how many times they deny and lie over and over again, if they are not meant to hurt that someone, they won’t, especially if they love them.

                The rain was getting stronger at the background of the library and there I am, studying supposedly… not until the stupidity of the person next to me finally gets to me.

                “Hey, how many times do I have to tell you this? You have to derive the equation first before equating it to zero!” I half shouted, and half whispered. Eunji was sitting next to me, rubbing her head and seems like she was about to cry. “Wow you are really something you know? How come you can continue to attack the Dean’s List when you are this stupid?”

                “Hey the power of cheating is one thing. And also the power of luck too!” she countered back as she tried another question. “Ah why do I have to learn this anyway? If this is only derivatives and calculus, it would’ve been easier.”

                “Is that how you got into college?! Cheating and luck?”

                She shook her head, “No! I graduated high school. That’s why I’m college.”

                Yep. This smartass is somehow not smart either.

                “Hey hey hey!!! Didn’t I tell you earlier too? You can already derive this equation by dividing it by five. Ah seriously, can’t you see it?!” I was already getting frustrated at the slowness of Jung Eunji’s brain. And it seems like she does too.

                “Yah! If I’m smart in this lesson, would I have asked for your help?! Forget it! FORGET IT!”

                That’s when she stormed off the library with that small brain of hers.

                So as I as saying, it has been half an hour since she ran away with a frustrated look on her face. Huh… It’s been half an hour too that I get somehow worried because the drizzle outside slowly is becoming worse and who would’ve known where that stupid girl could be, right? She’s getting easily confused too with directions. She couldn’t have gone into an accident, right?

                I was already preparing to leave to follow her when someone popped out of nowhere and sat in front of me. Oh please, I’m not even shocked to see her face at that very same day.

                Yoon Bomi was just there, in front of me, having the saddest look her face could muster.

                “Do you want to go and have some coffee for a while, Naeun?” She asked, showing me her free coupons on the coffee shop we both liked.

                Oh forget about Jung Eunji for a moment… coffee is better.

                “So, why did you call me here today?” I asked when we were sitting comfortably by the glass walls of the coffee shop. The shop was warm enough to shake the chills off my body. Even the ambiance inside was good and warm, unlike out there when it is nothing but cold and somehow dark.

                “Eunji… I would want to meet her.” She spoke slowly, making sure that I would understand each word. And when I did, my eyes widen.

                “Why? Why? Why?!?!?! Why so sudden? I don’t even think that she’s ready already?” I asked in a hurry, almost spilling some coffee on my clothes.

                She just giggled before shaking her head. When she stopped, a serious expression came unto her face. And that’s when I felt like hitting myself.

                “Are you sure that she’s not ready? Or maybe it’s you that is not ready for it?”

                Bomi just hit me in the face… straight on. Ah curse this woman. I hate how she knows the exact thing that I am dwelling upon. Yes, I am afraid that Eunji meets either Bomi or Chorong. Why? Because I’m afraid that it will trigger some of her memories. The past was something you can’t easily go back to. And if Eunji remembers, it would become so awkward for me. It’s awkward because she would then remember how much I liked her… and how much she liked her.

                I’m not ready to reminisce the past and innocent love we all once had. Besides, some memories are better left in the drawer and revisit it, once in a while.

                The silence inside the coffee shop was somehow able to calm my nerves for a bit, the same as the coffee. Outside, I could hear the constant drops of the rain and the passing cars. It’s already 3 in the afternoon. I wonder… where could that girl be right now?

                “How about you, Bomi unnie?” I came to ask back. “Are you also ready to meet Eunji?”

                Her face has gradually become sad once again, although her smile tries to fake it. “Eunji is somehow a dear friend. You remembered how close our class was… and even if she’s the love of the person I love… She has been a good friend to me. She took good care of me. And she was able to make me smile too. I admire Eunji, and I guess her special attributes made Chorong like her a lot…”

                “You didn’t answer my question though…”

                She released another inward laugh before looking straight into my eyes.

                “I am afraid that Chorong and she would meet… I’m afraid because then I know would stand no chance. If they meet, there’s a chance that their old failed love story would once again continue… and I’m afraid… I’m afraid to lose Chorong once again.”

                “But Bomi unnie, that was all in the past… There’s a reason why a couple won’t end up together… Maybe it wasn’t them this time. What if it’s really you and Chorong?”

                “Can’t it just be me and you, Naeun-ah?” she asked with a pout that I laughed at.

                “I could be… But Chorong unnie might become so jealous she would literally kill me once she saw my presence.” I smiled, suddenly remembering the memory when Chorong unnie visited me in my apartment. “And who knows? Maybe Chorong unnie totally have the hots on you now…”

                “Pfft… Doubt it.”

                “Ahhh this unbeliever… Anyway, are you two still meeting?”

                She nodded her head, “Occasionally… If there are business parties at home or at hers. We would just greet each other though, like we were old friends that came to drift apart because that’s what happened.”

                “Ah sad…”

                She shook her head, “Enough of that. Let’s go and look for you Eunji unnie. I would want to meet her. At least the rain is somehow being silent and would eventually go away.”

                I stared at the calming rain outside. It was still afternoon and the sun showed up only for a moment because soon enough, it would set once again.

Park Chorong

                Destiny is something like serendipity, an accidental discovery of something pleasant although I’m not sure if meeting her once again could be called pleasant. How long has it been since I’ve really talked to her casually? How long has it been since I was able to see her up close and personal? How long has it been since I came to feel her warmth once again?

                Maybe it has been four years since then… and I don’t know if something really changed for the better or for the worse between the two of us.

                It was a gloomy Saturday afternoon. I was holding my umbrella while walking by the sidewalks since I have to buy something in the convenience store. It was supposed to be just any normal weekend for me. I didn’t expect it to be much more than that.

                It has actually been a while since that small hallucination of mine that I met Jung Eunji. I don’t really know if it was her or just someone else because that girl looks somehow different from the Jung Eunji I once knew. The Jung Eunji th