Past three in the morning and Jihoon was still holed up in his studio.

"Jihoon hyung?"

Jihoon turns around from the monitor screen at the sound of his voice. "Oh, it's you, Mingyu."

Mingyu. Not the usual Mingu that Jihoon used to call him affectionately.

"What're you doing here? I’m busy," Jihoon continues, looking back at the screen. Slurring his words, he was obviously tired, and Mingyu wanted nothing but to take him home and let him sleep.

Let's go home.

"I brought you a drink," Mingyu says instead. He already knows Jihoon will get mad at him again if he says what he really wants to say. He places the vacuum flask he'd brought on top of Jihoon's desk and moves back.

"Thanks. I was out of coffee," Jihoon says, not looking away from the screen but taking the vacuum flask and pouring himself a cup of its contents. "Milk?" The distaste is evident in Jihoon's voice. He turns to frown at Mingyu. "This'll make me sleepy."

"Let's go home, hyung," Mingyu says bravely, bracing himself for Jihoon's wrath. "After you finish drinking."

Jihoon puts his headphones back on and Mingyu is ready to give up and go home, but Jihoon takes a sip of the milk.

"I'm tired," Jihoon deadpans. "Carry me home after I finish this."

Mingyu smiles in victory.

-

"Mingyu…"

Mingyu hums to show that he's listening, the pace of his steps steady. His back is warm and comforting, but Jihoon still feels anxious. Jihoon wonders if he’s a lighter burden to carry now that he hasn’t been eating properly lately, always putting work before having his meals, most of the time even skipping meals.

"Why are you still being nice to me?" Jihoon's voice comes out soft.

"Why would you ask that?" Mingyu asks in a casual tone.

"Well, everyone kind of hates me lately," Jihoon says, forcing out a bitter laugh. He remembers all the instances the practice room had gotten quiet once he entered, the laughter always fading when he entered the dorm room, and the members' whispering that he could just tell was about him. "I don't even know if I still like myself," he says in a small voice. Jihoon sighs. The pressure of producing music was getting to him, the stress making him this hurtful and upsetting everyone around him.

"No one hates you, Jihoon hyung."

Words that Jihoon didn't know he needed to hear.

"It's just that, it hurts when you push us away. So the others just keep their distance."

Jihoon remembers their hurt expressions. The hurt in Chan's eyes when he'd yelled at him during their recording, Minghao's face when he couldn't understand what the boy was saying because of his accent and he'd gotten frustrated and snapped, Seungcheol’s disappointment whenever he tried to talk to him seriously and Jihoon just didn't feel like it.

People he once could laugh and fool around with comfortably, but were now so hard to talk to. His family.

Mingyu was the only one who still tried to stay close to him.

"Why don't you stay away like the others?"

By the tone of his voice, he can tell that Mingyu is smiling. "You know I can't do that."

Jihoon wraps his arms tightly around Mingyu's neck, burying his face against the back of his head and letting the tears fall.

-

"I love you a lot."

Jihoon buries his smile against the back of Mingyu's head as he hugged the younger boy tighter. Most of the songs he'd written and heard about love were about pounding hearts and getting flustered, but being with Mingyu had always been about warmth and comfort.

"Hey, put me down." Jihoon slaps Mingyu's shoulders impatiently. "I'll walk."

"You sure?" Mingyu asks, glancing behind him with a questioning expression at Jihoon as the older boy hopped down from his back and to his side. "Aren't you tired?"

"I'm sure," Jihoon tells him, smiling. He laces his fingers with Mingyu's and Mingyu smiles, swinging their arms together gently.

"I love you, Jihoon hyung," Mingyu says happily. His walking turns into skipping and Jihoon regrets not taking the piggyback ride home as he gets dragged by the hand.

"I know, you keep telling me," Jihoon whines, his legs struggling to keep up with Mingyu's skipping. "Stop dragging me!"

Mingyu’s skipping comes to an abrupt stop and Jihoon stumbles forward, his face almost meeting the asphalt if not for Mingyu’s hand holding him steady. Jihoon frowns at him, but Mingyu has that innocent, uncertain look that he rarely showed.

“Hyung.”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s kiss.”

Jihoon gives him a small nod, hoping the redness of his ears didn’t give away his cool and casual expression. He tugs on Mingyu’s hand and closes his eyes slowly when the younger boy stoops down to his height, leaning forward and putting a hand on Mingyu’s shoulder. He feels Mingyu’s lips press against his, soft and warm, and Jihoon thinks he’ll remember his first kiss as a perfect one.

Mingyu pulls away, cheeks pink, a twinkle in his eyes, and the biggest, happiest smile Jihoon’s ever seen on his face. “That was awesome,” he gushes, and Jihoon has to laugh at his enthusiasm, thinking he was probably feeling as happy as Mingyu was right now.

“Let’s go home?” Jihoon takes Mingyu’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze.

Mingyu squeezes his hand back before swinging their arms like he had been doing earlier. “Let’s go home.”