Chapter 3- You’re not Fair

Once I got home, I debated whether or not to keep his phone number. A disgusting part of me just wanted to leave it in my phone, why bother even deleting it. He does have your number anyway. He’s bound to text you. Finally, I gave in and left his phone number untouched. A sigh escaped my lips.

“What am I doing?” I mumbled, staring up at the baby blue ceiling of my living room, “I never thought I’d see him again”

Cardboard box. Valentines Day. Dress Rehearsal. The track. The trees. His eyes. Basketball. Tears. Frustration. Middle School. Texting. Calling. Fading far far away. When I close my eyes, I see his face. I hear his voice, I feel his touch. It’s wretched of me.

I shake my head, trying to clear out my thoughts. Come on, you have work to do now, no time to dawdle in the past. I still had the projects to grade and the closet in the hallway to finish cleaning. Now that I thought about it, my shoulders felt less tense. That bit of fresh air had actually done me some good.

I’d never admit it, but a part of me was wondering when I’d see him. Man, he really changed in the past few years. Something about him was different. He wasn’t the little boy I knew from elementary school. He had gone to Korea to become a freaking K-Pop star, I didn’t know a single thing about him. Maybe we were in the same boat after all, unable to forget a past that kept us thinking a billion and one “what ifs”. I sighed again, my fingers lingering on my phone screen.

I spent the rest of the day working on grading and cleaning, taking the occasional break to watch an episode or two of my favorite K-Drama. While I was working, I hummed along to whatever song was playing out of my phone. Around 8 o’clock at night, my phone buzzed. I walked over to pick it up to see that it was Kris who texted me.

TO: Vivian FROM: Kris

Hey Vivian it’s Kris

FROM: Vivian TO: Kris

Hey what’s up?

TO: Vivian FROM: Kris

Can I facetime you really quick? I need help with something and I don’t have anyone else

FROM: Vivian TO: Kris

…fine…

I answered his face time call and he’s bare faced with a troubled look.

“What do you need?” I asked.

“How do you work a washing machine? I’m at home alone and I need to do my laundry,” He said with a straight face.

I burst out into a fit of laughter, rolling onto my sides on my bed. Kris’s face instantly flushed and he was frowning.

“Working these things is hard okay? It’s not that easy,” He huffed.

“Why didn’t you just look it up online,” I giggled.

“I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t think about it,” He replied with a thoughtful expression.

“You’re such an idiot,” I said with a playful sigh, “First you put the clothes into the machine. Are you washing darks or lights?”

“Darks,” He replied.

“Okay then move that bar down to where it says colors,” I said, “Next you put the detergent into the top compartment there and the fabric softener on the bottom compartment, you won’t need bleach since you’re not washing whites”

“Okay did that,” He said, “Is that it?”

“Yup, just press that start button and you should be good,” I replied.

“Oh okay thanks,” he said.

“Don’t mention it,” I replied.

“I wasn’t expecting you to reply,” he said sheepishly.

“Why not?” I asked.

“You didn’t seem very happy to see me that’s all,” He said as he scratched the back of his head.

“It’s not that, I just wasn’t expecting to see you,” I said as my face started growing hot, “Last I hard you were in China filming a movie or something”

“I finished that project awhile ago,” He said chuckling.

“Well it’s not like I know your schedule very well,” I said.

“True,” He said with a nod.

“When’s your next project then?” I asked.

“I’m not sure yet,” He replied, “My manager hasn’t talked to me about anything upcoming yet”

I nodded my head. He started talking about what filming was like and I kind of zoned out, but I did my best to follow along. Honestly a lot of what he was talking about confused me since that was a world I didn’t really know about.

“How do you keep track of all that,” I said with a sigh.

“You learn it all eventually in this business,” He said with a shrug, “What about you? How’s work?”

“It’s been alright, the third term just started a couple days ago,” I said, “Working with kids is fun”

“I’m terrible with kids, I can’t ever keep them under control,” he said with a laugh.

“It’s not really about controlling them when you’re a teacher,” I said, “It’s more about helping them find themselves and building a trust”

“You were always a people person,” Kris replied with a smile.

“Not always,” I mumbled, “But anyways, I’ve been alright”

“You used to say that you wanted to be a doctor when you were younger,” Kris said, amused.

“That wasn’t me, that was my parents speaking through me,” I said, “I always loved art”

“How’d you end up convincing them?” Kris asked.

“It wasn’t hard, they just want me to be happy after all,” I replied with a smile.

“I thought they were super strict and cold,” He said with one cocked eyebrow.

“Just because they’re strict doesn’t mean they don’t love me,” I argued, “They’re overprotective because they love me after all”

“That’s true,” Kris said with a thoughtful expression, “My parents were almost the opposite. They let me do pretty much whatever I wanted, as long as I got passing grades in school and that I was happy”

“I’ve only ever met your mom,” I said.

“She still mentions you to me every so often,” he replied with a chuckle.

“Tell her I said hello,” I said and he nodded.

“Hey it’s getting late, you should get some sleep,” He said, “I’ll talk to you later”

“See ya,” I said with a wave and then I ended the call.

“He’s still such an idiot,” I sighed, but I had been unconsciously smiling.  

My eyes felt droopy and I let out an ear-splitting yawn. Today had been a long day but I didn’t want to go to sleep. If I went to bed, I’d be left to drown in my thoughts. I honestly think too much. My feet trudged off to the bathroom to get ready for bed as I kept rubbing at my eyes to push of the drowsiness for a little longer. I slowly pushed my toothbrush back in forth, gazing into the mirror at my reflection. Cam’s word bounced around in my head again. You’ve been getting too thin, she had said, make sure that you’re eating.

Instead of going to bed, I dragged my pillow and blanket out into the living room. I the TV and ended up watching old episodes of It’s Okay That’s Love, my favorite k-drama of all time. How strange, I had forgotten that D.O. was in it. Subconsciously, my thoughts started flowing from D.O. to EXO to Kris once again. Sigh.

“Why the hell can’t I get you off my mind,” I mumbled, pushing my face into my pillow.

Eventually, I fell asleep as the soft sound of romantic conversation lulled me off to dreamland. In my dream, I went back to the tree where the five of us used to spend all of our time at. Here was when Kris