TITLE [5/5]
The title is the perfect choice for your story! I can see the connection between the story and the title. Also, your title gives off the main idea of the story, it's sort of like a story about the second lead, the so-called less-gifted as they like to call it, since Daheun said her name mean "abundant grace" while Daheun means "different" or "the other one", which resulted "the other flower" as the title. That's all it revealed, and that revealed quite enough. The relevance and connection is good. Your title can attract readers.


DESCRIPTION & FOREWORD [9/10] 
Your decription and foreword is accurate, I like that. I don't think you should label Dareun and Daheun "fraternal twins", since "fraternal twins" is used when two infants are born at the same time, but they do not look alike, sometimes they are in the opposite . I suggest you label them as "identical twins", to make it more precise. Personality isn't really the basis of a twin's label, it's actually the looks.

PLOT [19/20] 
There's no such thing as a "unique" plot nowaday. I read two stories with the same plot as yours at a different site, of course, the similarity is partial, don't worry. Still, that doesn't mean that you're plot is cliché. You can say that your plot is between cliché and unique. I like that. 

FLOW [14/15]
The flow is natural. It isn't really that hard to catch up with the story. The flow itself speaks the plot. Put it this way: the plot is the story and the flow is the story-teller. I like how you did that to the flow of your story. The flashbacks are a bit off sometimes, but thankfully, it's only a few. Overall, the flow of your story isn't sloppy, it was definitely smooth.

CHARACTERIZATION [15/15]
I love your characters! My absolute favorite is Dareun. First, I've never heard of that name before to be honest, second, she gives off a vibe of curiosity and pain, you know, the sort of vibe a child a lollipop deliciously gives you? Okay, that was a bad comparison, but you do get what I mean, right?  Whatever character you're trying to portray her, you've done a job well done.

GRAMMAR [12/15]
The spelling is correct.
I'll first tell you the first reason why I docked a point: punctuation marks. You have to use a unctuation mark when you need to stop for a while. For example, a period indicates three seconds of hinting from reading, a coma indicates two seconds, and a question mark's indication depends on its question and the reader's preference. Some of your sentences that are questions either ends up in period or no punctuation mark at all. The quotation marks are misplaced at some sentences.
Second, there were a few words repeated, it happens a lot when you're writing. For example: "When she was sure sure that Daheun returned to her quarters," just delete the other sure so the sentence can make more sense.
I'm not sure if you missed a few words because you were drunk in the writing feeling (that's what it's called in Literary Arts), or you just forgot. Eitherway, you just have to re-check again before posting a chapter. Anyways, like this for example:"it would be nice to have time hear Daheun's story instead of just being her punching bag." Okay. That was a good prhase, let's just add another to, and here's how it should look like: "it would nice to have time to hear Daheun's story instead of being her punching bag." or, you could try to revise the whole sentence, Original senence:
"My bruises from yesterday haven't really healed yet and it would be nice to have time hear Daheun's story instead of being her punching bag."
Revised:
"My bruises from yesterday hasn't really healed yet, it would be nice if Daheun would temm stories instead of using me as a punching bag."
There were a few typos too, so re-check each chapter before posting. Several words were misused, but that can be fixed.
So to summarize this up, your only problem is the sentences, they are either too wordy or some words are missing. 

READABILITY [5/5]
I can perfectly read your story without squinting my eyes. The chosen font, size and color were perfect!
 

PERSONAL ENJOYMENT [14/15]
Your story has the right cup of angst, fantasy and romance! I even felt a slight if mystery. I was in real excitement when I saw the genres. I am in love with stories that has fantasy or angst for a genre. Your chapters weren't lengthy nor too short, and I like that. Keep on the good work, and I'll be looking forward to another exciting chapter! ^_^