TITLE [4/5]
    I'm guessing that it is entitled like that because it has something to do with Mihyun's childhood memory. That's all the title revealed. I docked one point because honestly, the title isn't really that eye-catching. 

DESCRIPTION & FOREWORD [9/10] 
    The theme of your story is bullying, right? Your description and foreword is accurate and descriptive. 

PLOT [17/20] 
    The plot is a bit cliché, since I normally see this plot in other stories. What made me like your plot is that as the story goes by, it felt natural. It's like you have a part of you in the plot. In a way, you made that plot a part of you. I can hear your voice speaking fresh and raw words of the story. It's like your narrating it, live. 

FLOW [13/15]
    The arrangements of the events isn't that sloppy. The entrance of your characters was alright. The reason I docked two points here is because you kept jumping from one perspective to another without warning the readers, which made your flow a bit abrupt.

CHARACTERIZATION [12/15]
    Mihyun's character is a bit dull, and cliché. On the other hand, Jungkook's character didn't really beamed on me. He needs a few more details, and since your story is just starting, you can use a few chapters to describe what Jungkook is like, why he bullies ect. 
    

GRAMMAR [10/15]
    There were a lot of grammatical errors that I spotted in your story, some of those made it difficult for me to interpret your story. Some of your words were spelled wrongly, some sentences doesn't make sense, the pronoun "I" is in lowercase at times, your punctuation marks were used wrongly, and some of the words weren't used properly. 

READABILITY [4/5]
    The font size keeps changing. I don't know if it indicates a flashback or not. Choice of font and color is fine.

PERSONAL ENJOYMENT [14/15]
   In my own perspective, some of your characters can use a few more details. You should get an editor/beta-reader if you don't have enough time editing your story. Your genre stated angst, which made me expect more, but all I see in your story is fluff. I suggest you change the genre from angst to fluff.
Regardless of all that, I enjoyed your story. I am looking forward for more updates~!