Jackson was so hopelessly lost, and completely over his head.

Jackson wasn't used to being confused in the matters of the heart. He was used to knowing what he wanted, and just going for it.

Before he had moved to the Kingdom, he had a girl back home, a beautiful and kind person he thought he could spend the rest of his life with. But then he had gotten the opportunity to take a leap of faith and move to the Kingdom and start as an apprentice for a glassblower, and he had taken the chance although there was no guarantee he would succeed. That meant that he had to leave her behind to be able to pursue his dreams, and he did. He had told himself that when he would succeed on his career he would go back for her, although they had broken up with no guarantees for one another. It had been a simple choice for what he had thought was a simple problem, and that’s what he had thought all matters of the heart would be like; easy enough to handle once you just were honest with yourself.

Jackson had been wrong. Life and love had been simple up until the point he had met Mark, who broke right through everything Jackson had known about how his life and his emotions worked.

The man had been a mystery, a kind but quiet person who had regarded him with interest, listening happily to what Jackson had to say. He had been simply beautiful, shining from inside out, his gorgeous facial features and proportional body combined with what Jackson had learned to know of his personality in the moments they had spent together was just… Mark simply blew Jackson away. That was simple enough. Jackson was interested in him as a person, was interested to know what mysteries lie under the surface, would definitely like to be a friend and maybesomethingmore, but then there was the complicated part, which was basically everything that had been revealed once he had gotten Mark to laugh.

It was simple to like a girl next door, who was of similar status and had similar expectations in life, or a servant in the castle, who might at most be the third or fourth son of noble, but still of similar enough status to not be considered too high a leap. Jackson didn’t care for status, but a lot of people did, and it was simpler to not covet something that was above his class, when there was something equally as good to be found in the same class as he was.

There would be nothing to equal Mark anywhere.

And he couldn’t be more unreachable and off-limits to Jackson if he lived on the moon.

He was the Crown Prince of this Kingdom Jackson never intended to live more than a couple of years in. There were several major problems with that.

Mark was of the highest possible status in the whole Kingdom, while Jackson was in the third lowest as an average city artesan, and it definitely would be frowned upon for him to try something when the class difference was so great.

Mark was a prince - although he was apparently not forced to marry anyone he didn't want to, he was probably expected to marry someone of a fairly high status, good enough family background and probably also different body parts than what Jackson had.

Mark was the Crown Prince, and his spouse would be expected to take part in leading the Kingdom, or at least be exemplary and good for the morale. Jackson wasn't even from this Kingdom, and he really hadn't had an upbringing that would be any help if he would even dare to dream of holding such a position.

Being the Crown Prince’s spouse would likely mean giving up many other things too, his career and his homeland at the very least. It would in any case mean leading a completely different life than he had wished for himself, ever.

Jackson didn't even count the fact that he hadn't had interest in a man before, and that he hadn't even known Mark for long at all. Those were pretty minor things compared to the major complications listed above.

Jackson was honest enough with himself to recognize the feeling of interest and affection felt for another person, and he did not find it hard to admit having a crush on the Crown Prince. It was just the fact that they had only spent a short moment together that made Jackson doubt the validity of the feelings of liking that he held for Mark. The doubt made it easier to explain what he knew from his feelings away, because it didn't make any sense to feel like this and as strongly as this so soon after just having met someone and not even having known them, really, for that long or that well. Because the doubt was there, Jackson could lie to himself, convince himself that these feelings would fade simply because it was silly for them to even exist.

What Jackson needed, was time.

What Mark needed, was patience.

For the first couple of weeks Mark was sure he simply needed some peace and quiet to get his thoughts sorted, and Jackson Wang would fall somewhere into the back of his mind. During Mark’s birthday celebrations it seemed like no one even talked about anything else than about the man who had made the Crown Prince laugh and gotten a kiss on the lips for it, so there was no way to get Jackson out of Mark’s mind anyway, as he was reminded of it constantly.

But there were some good news. Mark had been afraid there would be a lot of controversy and trouble from when he kissed the glassblower’s apprentice, but the Kingdom seemed to have taken it pretty well. Apparently the reason for giving that first kiss away had been seen as fair - it wasn’t for money, or because someone was of a high status enough, it was given to a common person simply for the good deed he had done. Jackson had woken a sparkle in Mark’s eyes that hadn’t been there for a long time, and when he smiled now, it reached it eyes. The Kingdom was overjoyed to see their delicate Crown Prince be happy again, and solving the fight for the first kiss on the side while getting the Prince’s happiness back was apparently perfect.

The problem was, Mark couldn’t honestly say that he was happy. He had his smile back, and he could truly enjoy life better now that he had met Jackson Wang and had him bring happiness into his life, but Mark felt empty in a way he hadn’t felt before. His mother’s death had been a gaping hole in his chest, but it had finally scarred over and it didn't feel so bad anymore. It still hurt if it was poked at, but he knew that to do good by his mother he had to live his life on with not only his head held up high, but also with a true smile on his lips. The loss of his mother was not the emptiness he felt in his chest now. There had been an empty space inside him that he had not realised he had had, before he had met Jackson Wang and spent an hour in the shine of his personality, filling the gaps that he had not known of. His heart had felt so full being with Jackson Wang, and now that their paths had separated again, the space that had now not always been empty ached inside him, making him hope for things that were not possible for him.

… Well, now he was just lying to himself. He was the Crown Prince, he could request for anyone's presence and anyone would be flattered for him to wish their companionship but… Mark was a coward. The moment in the main hall he had realised he wanted something more than friendship from Jackson Wang, he had decided that it was not something he could have.

Technically, he could just ask for Jackson's hand and be done with it, let the man decide if he wanted to be bound to the Crown Prince of the Kingdom and to all the duties and responsibilities that came with it after knowing Mark under a false pretense for barely an hour, but Mark was quite sure what his answer would be. Jackson Wang was a wonderfully honest man, he wouldn't marry Mark just because he was the Crown Prince and Jackson would get a lot of power, status and wealth by marrying into the royal family. That also meant that he would reject Mark without hesitation if being with him and the life that marrying the Crown Prince would bring wasn't what he wanted, and Mark was more scared of the rejection that he'd ever have thought. Wouldn't it be better to not know for sure that Jackson would reject him, and go on with his life like before? Why was there a small flicker of hope inside his chest, inside the empty space he had never known before, telling him that he should at least have the courage to try, that the minimal chance that he'd say yes would be worth the risk of heartbreak? Mark wasn't all that sure he'd be able to deal with the pain of it.

And anyway, wasn't it weird to get this attached so quick? Was it even possible to fall for someone's personality from just knowing them for a moment? Surely this was just a fleeting crush, simple admiration for the glassblower's honest and straightforward personality, and it'd fade into a warm memory in a couple of weeks or so.

It was not worth getting his heart broken over. He should remember the time in the brightness of Jackson's smile with happiness and be satisfied what he had gotten, instead of longing for something that wasn't even likely the other would want. If Mark simply had patience, this would blow over, and he'd be able to smile thinking back to the time he was honestly thinking about throwing everything away for a man he had known for barely an hour.

Jinyoung had both time and patience, but he was slowly running out of both of them.

The first week after The Kiss (as everyone in the Kingdom called it) had been hectic, people flocking in to their small glassware shop to see Jackson, to ask him about the Prince and to try and get interviews. Jinyoung had taken to watching the front desk so Jackson wouldn't be ambushed by the curious, and they decided to give a couple of interviews just to get the journalists to stop harassing them. The situation calmed down after a week, thankfully, as Jinyoung could clearly see the strain it put on Jackson to be asked all over and over again about the moment the Crown Prince had decided to play with his feelings for absolutely no reason.

Jackson, of course, put a brave face on, reciting the moment as many times as he had to, never going much into depth, glossing over the kiss like it hadn't been a stab to his heart. But Jinyoung knew Jackson. They hadn't known for a long time, only almost a year, but Jackson wore his heart on his sleeve and his facial expressions were pretty simple to read, so Jinyoung felt that he could tell what the other was feeling quite well in any given moment. Jinyoung saw during their trip to the castle that Jackson came to be interested in the servant they met on their roundabout way to the main hall, and as it was revealed that the servant hadn't been who they had thought he was… Well, it had obviously crushed Jackson who had wanted friendship and then some. The Kiss had been completely unnecessary at that point, Jackson had already been tangled up in his feelings and confused as hell.

Weeks went by, and although there was a curious person or journalist every now and then, because Jinyoung was manning the front desk and turning all of them away, Jackson didn't have to be reminded about the unfortunate event any more. But as time passed, it didn't seem like Jackson wasn't getting over The Kiss. He was mostly locked up in the workshop even between orders, working on some personal project of his that he wouldn't let Jinyoung see, but what Jinyoung could tell from the bits and pieces of carefully shaped and colored glass, wasn't going well enough at least in Jackson’s opinion. Jinyoung knew Jackson was very critical of the work he did, wanting perfection once he gave his all into a piece, but this seemed to be going to the extremes. He was making something really small and complicated, that Jinyoung could tell from the fragments he helped Jackson clean up at the end of each day. Jinyoung didn’t ask about it, because Jackson didn’t want him to. Jackson would come to him when he was ready.

Meanwhile Jackson made an effort to not make Jinyoung worry by putting on a strong face. He smiled and joked, trying to pretend that everything was back to normal and he was fine. He wasn't, and Jinyoung could see that all too well. When he thought no one was looking, Jackson's smile dropped, and there was a confused, vulnerable and hollow expression on his face that Jinyoung hated to watch.

A month and a half had passed by before Jackson finally came to Jinyoung. Jinyoung was working on an order of fine crystal glass chalices, checking that the six chalices were close enough in appearance to each other to pass as a set, when Jackson came to loiter around his work station. Jinyoung put his work down to give all his attention to Jackson, who was cradling something very small in his hands. After a moment of staring Jackson offering the object in his hands for his friend to see with a mix of emotions warring on his face. There was satisfaction and emptiness, as if the fact that he had finished this work should have brought him a fulfillment and closure, but it hadn't.

Jinyoung looked at the small thing Jackson was holding. There was a tiny bird in Jackson's hand, a glass wren of clear, silver and white glass, its tiny wings spread out as if it would take flight at any moment. The bird was so small and had so many details it was no wonder Jackson had failed so many times - Jinyoung was sure even their master had never crafted anything as small and skillful, yet Jackson had managed it with diligent work and dedication. The bird was made into a necklace, delicately fastened from its back to a cord of silver that had a small piece of black silk loosely wrapped around it to contrast the frail white of the wren. It was a perfect balance, and the skill and handicraft put into the work would make it worth a lot should they sell it. They could sell it to any lady of the court and secure their place as the glassblower to buy glass jewelry from.

But Jinyoung knew that the glass wren was not meant for a lady of the court, and they would not get it, no matter what they paid, because it was meant for someone else. Someone special.

To Jinyoung's surprise though, Jackson handed the glass wren over to him, telling him to put it on sale “or whatever”.

“Are you sure?” Jinyoung asked carefully, looking at the delicate glass wren that was worth more than its weight in gold for its beauty, and even more for the sentimental value.

Jackson's stance was defensive, his eyes had a bit of a glare to them as if goading Jinyoung to elaborate what he was insinuating. “Yes, it's not like I'll have any use for it.”

Jackson walked away and pretended not to care, but Jinyoung knew him better. And Jinyoung was a good friend, so instead of putting the glass wren on sale like he was supposed to, Jinyoung hid it in one of the front desk cupboards, hopeful that one day Jackson would change his mind.

He was being more optimistic than was typical of him, and it really didn't suit him, but Jinyoung kind of wanted to believe in fairytale endings, if just for Jackson's sake.

Youngjae had allowed for the situation more time and patience than he should have.

It had been bad enough to watch His Highness wallow in sadness for years after Her Majesty's death, and now that His Highness had finally moved on from that sorrow, Youngjae was not about to watch him pining after some glassblower's apprentice for years to come, when there was a simple enough solution to the problem. Youngjae had watched the situation for more than a month now, and he was sure by now that His Highness’ interest in this man he had only met for an hour wouldn't die that easily. Youngjae knew the Prince would not do anything about the situation, too caught up in the fear of more pain and loss to dare to take the necessary risks, so Youngjae would take action in his stead, anticipating his needs like a good steward should. The least Youngjae could do was to find out whether the object of His Highness’ unadmitted affections shared this predicament, and then he'd know if there were any other steps he could take to bring his Prince the happiness he really deserved because of everything he had suffered.

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