26/02

The bell rang and the second day started. We had Maths, Literature, break and then three hours of Sciences. Yesterday, Hongbin tried to talk with me even after I treated him that bad, but I didn't fall, although my heart was aching. I really love those guys, and I felt very guilty for my behaviour... they don't deserve it at all. But I was doing it for their own sake... it was the better thing. I just hoped that they would give up on me as soon as possible.

"Hey Selene, why aren't you going closer to that Asian people? It would be a good occasion for showing them how much you are better than us!"

I hate this girl. That's the one who stole my best friend.

"You, let her be! She doesn't seem to have done anything against you, why are you so bad with her?" Jaehwan. Another caring guy... who between them isn't caring, after all? I'm doing the same with you, why are you helping me? , I thought. Why are they making things so difficult?

I spitted a "Thank you" and went to my seat.

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Four hours later, my brain was aching. So the government wanted to know how we react to highschool? Well my reaction was hatred. And a big headache. I walked through the corridors, wanting to go to the toilet, and I heard some familiar voices.

"Ken hyung, why did you help her? She's been so mean at us and she hasn't even tried to know us!"

"I know Hyukkie, but I felt like I had to. You know I hate bullies, and that Selene seems to be bullied a lot."

"Yeah, I saw it too. That's why I want to try talking with her... maybe she's not mean, she's just afraid of people. By the way, guys, don't use our stage names, we are only students here and there's no need for VIXX to be recognized!"

"Ok Leader-nim, we will be careful! And well, do as you like with Selene. I tell you I won't help, though. I don't like her."

I hid behind the first thing I found. That day had suddenly become brighter... and my highschool month easier. If they didn't want to use their stage names, I just needed to do the same. That way, they wouldn't have known I was a fan and I wouldn't have needed to act badly... But no. My classmates were the biggest problem, I couldn't let VIXX be my friends. But I didn't need to be mean too. Lots of things can change in a month. I would have become closer to them step by step, without forcing anything... But I knew I wasn't able to. I was afraid of my classmates opinion... No. That wasn't the point. I was just afraid of them. I was afraid of becoming friend and then have to part, and never see again. So, the right thing was to avoid them, making them hate me. It wasn't so difficult... Sanghyuk already did, Taekwoon didn't care about me at all. I could manage things with Jaehwan and Wonsik. The biggest problems were Hakyeon and Hongbin. But nobody can endure a bad treatment forever.

I started to walk towards the toilet again, when I felt something grabbing my shirt and pulling me. It was Hongbin. Again. Geez, how much did I still have to be mean?

"Selene, I want to talk."

"I'm here and you're grabbing my shirt. I think you can talk, since I can't go away."

"Ah, sorry. It's just... Well I'd like to know... is there any problem? Did we do something wrong yesterday and you don't want to talk with us for that? If we can do anything, tell me... I would really like to be friends with you."

I repressed my giggle and changed it into a little growl. Why do you need to be so cute? Why do you care? You won't see me anymore in a month!

"No, there's not any problem. I just behave this way with everybody, and everybody hates me. You should do the same."

"It's impossible to act this way without a reason. Come on, tell me why you are like this."

I looked at him in anger. I will not, I'm not crazy, and I don't want your pity either.

"Why? Well, just because. Bye."

And I slammed the girls' toilet's door.