Hey everyone!

Thank you for not giving up on this story. I didn’t want to give up on it either. Finishing my BA and starting my MA this fall alongside my special college tasks drained me up a bit. I can’t promise regular updates. I wish I did. I just hope you are still there. I hope I can finish this story soon, as well as No rest for the Wicked.

The next chapter is here, it is a little bit of a prequel for longer ones to come. Hope you will like it!

She’s not getting better - Jae Suk decided.

He came to that conclusion when he watched the actress change her coat. She came out of her van wearing a girl’s high school uniform – school sweatpants under the skirt though – and a coat over it. Her own coat, he must add, which the coordi quickly dismissed as a functioning idea. Even if she was cold, the bright green coat didn’t match the grey uniform they were given. The coordi gave Ji Hyo a black one and she quickly got out of her own green one. That is when the older MC noticed how big the uniform looked on her thin frame. He frowned. The coordi knew all of their clothing sizes. That is how they ordered the sponsored clothes for them episode by episode. There was no way they got it that wrong.

No.

She just looked way too thin for that piece.

They don’t change the sizes unless their body change permanently. For example when Jong Kook starts his summer workout program, he will need bigger clothes, and they know that, he tells them so. They only get the size wrong if the change is rapid. Dong Hoon once lost weight quickly after that long time he spent at the hospital, and his clothes looked big for a few weeks. Ji Hyo must have lost the weight quickly too to look like that.

Her sticklike arms quickly disappeared under the new black coat. It was the very beginning of May and Jae Suk enjoyed the slowly warming weather wearing only a short sleeved shirt, also part of a high school uniform he had to wear as well. It was too warm for a coat. Entirely too warm.

She’s not getting better – he formed that thought again. He made a vow to speak to her if this happens. Something was eating her up – literally – and he just couldn’t watch it any longer. The only question is when to talk to her about it. Is there a right time at all? Probably not. This was not gonna be something easy to discuss with her. Yet it seemed so necessary. Health is number one, after all. He was a dear friend of his.

He gave her one week. And nothing happened, apparently. Maybe he shouldn’t even give her that much of time, but truth to be told, he was so busy during last week. The thought, that he put money and work before the life of a friend made him feel unbelievably guilty. But he just couldn’t do it. After what happened to his son, he was even more unavailable.

No. These are just excuses. It’s been a month already, since Ji Hyo started to act up. How come he didn’t have even one day to spare for her sake…

“Look, I’m fine, okay?!” – he remembered her words, a little too loud to be believable. She said those words last Monday before filming.

~*~

She and her manager had been in a fight, again. Jae Suk didn’t understood the reason, but fights happen. He intended to let it go, but as he turned his head towards the woman, he saw her sway a little. The manager reached for her shoulders to steady the woman, but as soon as his fingertips touched her, she freaked out, pushing his hands away. “Just don’t touch me!” She watched him, heaving a little. “I’m getting ING bored of this. Leave it the alone!”

She swore. Swearing Ji Hyo was a thing, nothing to be surprised about. However, he never swore out of malice at her friends or coworkers. She was more respectful than that. She was the one to swear put of fright or frustration, but never directed at people.

The manager averted his gaze, not bearing the weight of it anymore and Ji Hyo her heels and stromed away.

“Noona? Ji Hyo noona!” Jae Suk heard Kwang Soo yelling after the woman. Before the maknae could start to run after the woman, the MC put his hand on his shoulder.

“Leave this to me, Kwang Soo-yah.”

“Do you know something, hyung?” The maknae asked, looking puzzled.

“Not enough, I suppose.” Murmured the older man and made his way after Ji Hyo. Everyone was looking at him as he went into the building after Ji Hyo, but he just couldn’t reassure them. Even he didn’t really know the real reason. Was it because of Nam Jun Seok’s assault? Or her unrequired love for Kim Jong Kook? Something entirely unknown for him? He knew nothing, which bugged him. Not because he wanted to know, but because he wanted to help, and didn’t know how.

It was easy to catch up with her though. She walked down the empty corridor, but moved very slowly, sometimes swaying as if she wasn’t feeling very well. Jae Suk called her name, but she never stopped as if she didn’t even hear the man. He quickly ran after her, grabbing her shoulder to stop her. In an instant, she turned away, pushing his hand away with hers. “Oppa, can’t you just leave i-” She started, raising her voice, but soon stopped as she realized who is standing in front of her. “Oh” she took a step back, averting her gaze. “Jae Suk Oppa. I’m sorry, I just… I thought you were…”

“I know” he nodded, watching the woman, slightly worried. She was so pale, with dark circles under her eyes, lips dry and blue. Her blood circulation must have been bad lately. “Is everything okay?”

Ji Hyo glanced at him for a moment, then turned her head away, looking outside of the window. “Of course.” She murmured.

Jae Suk wondered if he is to bring it up, was it his job or not, but quickly hushed his thoughts. He can’t make anything worse, but he can definitely make things better. This realization outweighed his worries. Of course nobody can fix anybody’s life, but their own, but sometimes a friendly push can help people to go in the right direction. He was willing to give that. Sighing, he sat down on the windowsill and patted the space next to him for Ji Hyo to sit. The woman gulped, visibly nervous, but still followed his plea.

“I already told you that you can tell me anything” started the man, watching the pictures on the wall in front of them. “But I want to emphasize that these are not empty words. I’m here. Not just now. Any time, Ji Hyo-yah.” He glanced at the woman. She was fidgeting with a hairband in his hands, eyes attached to her moving fingers as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.

“That is nice of you” She said, showing a small smile. “I appreciate it.”

“You should also take it.” Told him the man, bringing his left hand to cup her smaller ones, stopping her from playing with the hairband and also attracting her attention. She glanced up, puzzled. “I mean it. I can tell something is going on. What is it? I want to help.”

Ji Hyo blinked a few times, then shook her head. “You can’t, oppa, really. There is nothing to help with.”

“You are a great actress, Song Ji Hyo, but I still can tell when you lie.”

The woman stood up quickly. “I’m not lying” there she was, speaking loudly again. Something made her short-tempered. Even more than before. “Why can’t everybody just accept that people sometimes aren’t happy and bubbly? On the screen, I can do that. But if I’m tired, I’m tired. If I’m unhappy, I’m unhappy. Period! Simple as that! Gosh…”

Jae Suk watched as she grew more and more agitated, while walking circles in the corridor.

“What makes you feel that way?” He asked, trying his best to stay calm. “Is it about him?”

Ji Hyo stopped, looking him dead in the eyes. “Who?” She took a step closer to the man, cornering him completely despite him being still taller while sitting on the windowsill. “Jong Kook oppa? Nam Jun Seok? My manager? It is getting boring.” She shook her head, eyes big, almost afraid. “It’s me, okay?” She said, stopping in the corridor, not looking at him. “It’s me that makes me feel that way.”

“But why?” He asked, watching her shivering shoulders.  

Ji Hyo just sighed. “Nothing special. I’m just frustrated because I can’t sleep well. It makes me do poorly during my drama shooting. But that’s all. Unless you are a night fairy with a sack of magic sand at hand, you can’t help me.”

Jae Suk remained silent, but his thoughts were roaring. He knew the game insomnia well. He suffered of it greatly during his busier days, when he was still a twenty-something rookie then, trying to make a living and barely hanging there mentally. He suppressed so much then, never sharing his suffering with anyone and it kept him up at night. He sometimes still can’t sleep, but those times are rare now, once or twice a month. Although he can remember how hard it was for him. For Ji Hyo, someone whose greatest stress reliever was sleeping, must be quite frustrating indeed.

“I’m indeed not a night fairy” he said, sighing. “But I can always lend you an ear. Talking about it helps a lot. How about we talk after we get home.”

“But we will end late tonight.” Said Ji Hyo, glancing at him.

“But it will still end afterall.” The man chuckled and stood up. He circled her surprisingly thin shoulders, but didn’t make a comment about that. He started leading her back outside. “We can talk when we are back in Seoul. Let’s dine together. My treat.” Ji Hyo didn’t say anything just watched the ground while they were walking outside the building. She didn’t want to be a burden, but she also knew that Jae Suk can be persistent if he wanted to be.

However they didn’t get to speak that day. They were about to wrap up the filming, when Jae Suk got a call from her wife. Apparently their son got into a bike accident and broke an arm. She called from the hospital and Jae Suk hurried there as well, apologizing Ji Hyo. She didn’t mind, of course his son comes first. She wasn’t that happy to talk about her little problems anyway. Jae Suk assured her, that he will be there for her next week for sure.

~*~

She was hanging around with the others, squeezing a mug of coffee in her skinny fingers meanwhile. The coffee was hot, not the typical iced Americano she used to get even during the coldest days of winter. She just couldn’t get warm and used any type of help she could get. The sweatpants. The coat. Another layer of tank top under her school shirt, which the others couldn’t see. This way she felt like a functioning human being. Her third cup of coffee also helped to ease the tiredness from her. She couldn’t sleep again this night, but honestly, she was getting used to it. She is not that frustrated by it anymore. She can perform in front of cameras better as well, so much that the drama director was giving compliments again. Her manager seemed less worried as well. Only her makeup artists made a fuss about her dark circles. Nothing that a little foundation can’t solve.

“I can’t believe it.” Kwang Soo was approaching their group, seeming a little bit agitated. “They didn’t have a longer one.” He pointed at the end of his pants which seemed a little too short, revealing his ankles. The others burst out laughing and Ji Hyo followed suit.

“You should change with Dong Hoon” added in Jong Kook. The shorter man had to roll up his, because it was too long for him.

“Really, hyung, you are in no position to tease me.” Shook his head Dong Hoon, pointing at the man ad his bulging muscles. “You really train too much.”

“Why?” asked the man, touching his abdomen muscles. The shirt was obviously a little too tight for him. “I barely started my summer workout program. I’m still not that big.”

“Not big, my .”

“Actually, hyung, your is quite flat indeed.” Kwang Soo teased the short man.

While the two of them continued their bickering, Ji Hyo reached up with her hand to cover her small laughs. The sleeves of her coat were rolled up to her elbows, because she was feeling a little bit better and warmer. Jong Kook nudged her gently to catch her attention and she looked at him still smiling a bit.

“It’s been a while since they gave us school uniforms, right?” He said with a smile.

“Yes. I don’t even remember the last time.” Jong Kook eyed her a little, losing his smile after a few seconds. “Why?” She asked, slurping her coffee.

“Have you lost weight? It looks a bit loose on you.” His eyes seemed worried. She glanced down at herself. Her wristbone did seem a little bit more prominent than usual, but she didn’t think much of it. Lately she didn’t really have much appetite, thus she missed a few meals here and there, but it was unintentional. She was quite busy anyways, so spending less time with eating seemed like a good deal. Eating nowadays seemed like a hassle, something she just wanted to get over with. Something that required too much time and energy.

“Maybe” she said, looking back at him. “It must be due to the stress. We will finish filming the drama soon, so there is a little bit more work than usual because of that.”

“Really? How soon?”

“We have two weeks left.” She explained that the director wants to finish filming everything during that time, so that the crew can do the post productions also before the last episodes have to air, like cutting and editing the scenes. “It is a bit tough right now and everyone is anxious because of it, but it will pass soon enough.”

He patted her on the shoulders sympathetically. “Well, I hope you can rest a little bit afterwards. You deserve it.”

She thanked him with a smile, and they headed off to the filming sight. The director wanted to film the opening scene soon. Everybody gathered together and started their usual small talks in front of the cameras. Soon the guests were invited in. They were members of recently debuted idol groups, whom Ji Hyo didn’t really know. Lately she had no time to catch up with the new craze. Four girls and four boys appeared, also in school uniform, it suited them perfectly. They were really young and lively, and it gave Ji Hyo a little bit of energy, even if she didn’t want to speak during the filming that much. She enjoyed just watching everything for now. She most importantly enjoyed, that she can be lost in the crowd as she felt a bit tired.

Truth is, she felt a little bit under the weather still. Dizzy spells occurred when she stood up from chairs, and her mind was a bit fuzzy, thus making it hard to even think, let alone come up with friendly jokes. So she didn’t try it, just stood there, in silence, showing her best smile which even fooled herself.

At the request of the PDs, they got on a school bus, because their school, the ever so famous ‘Running High’ went on a field trip. The lucky students all got a backpack full of supplies, drinks and snacks which they started to eat right away as if they indeed went on a trip. They sang songs and played silly games as well and enjoyed their time, until the production crew stopped them. They thought the VJs had enough recording, but no, a man appeared and told everyone to put a sleeping mask over their eyes. They complained a bit, but followed to order. Ji Hyo felt nervous about the game. Everyone was blind, and had to pretend that they were sleeping peacefully. Someone said that, maybe Dong Hoon, that it feels like the beginning of the book, Battle Royale.

Even if this was just a silly game, Ji Hyo felt a little bit nervous about it. If it was truly the concept of the oncoming episodes that will require quite a bit of moving and thinking, which she didn’t feel that up to. Maybe she will just force herself to lose, despite her usual desire to win the games and rest while the others are enjoying themselves. Yes, she will do that. Losing peacefully, then sleeping a bit. It sounded really nice.

The bus halted, but they were told not to take off the masks. A person boarded the bus, his feet felt heavy against their ears.

“Good morning everyone!” He spoke, his voice was deep, oddly familiar. They knew that man. Choi Min Soo.  “Your class was chosen to be part of the national game. This is the ‘Running Royale’. I hope you will have a good time!”