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Needless to say, the rest of the ride to their camping grounds was insufferably awkward. Baekhyun, who was royally pissed at his boyfriend at the moment, had switched seats with Luhan and was now in the other van, leaving a distressed Chanyeol behind, who would ask no one in particular every minute or so, “Do you think he would’ve liked it more if I had used the neon orange on him? He always said that that color didn’t look good with his skin tone…” In return, Jongdae, who the others had decided shouldn’t go near Yifan until Zitao woke up and had switched vans with Junmyeon, would reply sarcastically, “Because that was totally what Baekhyun was so mad about.”

          Minseok, who had switched seats with Kyungsoo into this van (much to Jongin’s dismay) because he seemed to be the only one able to keep Jongdae under control to a certain degree, would then say, “Keep your sass down Kim Jongdae or you’ll be sleeping outside tonight,” effectively shutting the impish boy up.

          Jongin had moved to the front passenger seat where Kyungsoo had sat, still upset about having been separated from his boyfriend, but in the end, he knew it was worth it, to have Minseok switch places with Kyungsoo and save everyone in this van from the walking health hazard known as Kim Jongdae. That heroic baozi was probably the only thing keeping Jongdae from initiating World War III for “funsies”. Jongin had once left Jongdae alone with his cellphone to go use the restroom and returned to find that a rather risky photo he had sent to Kyungsoo a while back had found its way into the hands of the yearbook committee staff (it had taken 3 rather expensive bulgolgi dinners and eventually blackmail to get them to delete that photo) and to this day, Jongin did not leave his phone lying around if Jongdae was within a 5 mile radius (that spawn of Satan had connections Jongin didn’t even want to think about).

          Another time Jongdae had managed to trick Jongin into thinking there was a dance instructors meeting in the teachers’ lounge on the 2^nd floor and Jongin had ended up barging into the room, out of breath, gasping apologies about not getting the email, only to realize that there was definitely no meeting, and that he had intruded on Zitao and Yifan in a very compromising position on top of the large conference table in the center of the room (now that he thought about it, that table was always so polished and he finally had a good idea why). It had taken him more than two weeks before he was able to look Zitao or Yifan in eye again and he never quite saw that conference table in the same light again, always keeping a foot of distance from the mahogany surface during meetings held in that room.

          After several more hours of ignoring whatever Luhan and Sehun were doing in the back row, (because it sure as hell wasn’t PG) and trying to get some sleep, Jongin never thought he’d ever be so thankful to see an old, secluded cabin out in the middle of nowhere; because by trying to get some sleep, he meant failing to get some sleep, since in Jongdae’s mind, seeing Jongin rest his head on the travel pillow Baekhyun had left behind meant it was time to play let’s see how many times I can kick the back of Jongin’s chair before he gets pissed enough to turn around. Jongdae had reached the mid-thirties before Jongin’s patience had snapped. However, when he finally turned around to see a very carefree Jongdae fake innocence, he knew he was on his own because their savior and eldest hyung had already dozed off, eyes shielded from his boyfriend’s evil-doings by a sleeping mask decorated with little steamed bun cartoons Luhan had gotten him last Christmas.

As Jongin stepped out of the van, he had to remind himself it wasn’t sanitary to kiss the dirt ground beneath them and instead opted to run over to where the other van was disembarking, pinning a startled Kyungsoo against the vehicle and peppering his boyfriend with light kisses all across his face as the victim sputtered, “I-what-Jongin-stop-my suitcase-”

“I missed you,” Jongin finally breathed, resting his forehead against Kyungsoo’s. “So much.”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. “You saw me like three hours ago.” At Jongin’s pout he added, “But I missed you too,” along with a peck to the cheek.

“You two are disgusting,” Sehun scoffed as he and Luhan emerged from their van.

“Says the one who was practically ing Luhan in the backseat the entire ride,” Jongin easily shot back, eliciting what sounded like a bird’s squawk from Luhan. Sehun, hell bent on preserving his boyfriend’s dignity, immediately defended by saying, “We did no such thing!”

“Oh please,” Jongdae drawled as he assisted a drowsy Minseok out the vehicle (Jongin almost gasped at the sight of Jongdae actually possessing a soul). “If I had gotten that on tape I could’ve sold it for .”

“So why didn’t you?” Luhan asked, peering over Sehun’s shoulder, his chestnut eyes shining with curiosity. He was far less innocent than he acted half the time and the prospect of being able to watch what he and his boyfriend had been doing in the backseat was rather intriguing. Sehun merely smirked, able to sense the older’s real intentions.

“Because the bastard was too busy playing kick-the-back-of-Jongin’s-chair-while-he’s-trying-to-sleep to film you two getting it on,” Jongin snapped. Kyungsoo his arm softly, murmuring, “My poor baby.”

“Jongdae, were you being naughty while I was asleep?” Minseok asked in a sleepy voice. His boyfriend merely pressed his lips to the older’s temple and before he could verbally answer, Baekhyun stormed up to them.

“Kim Jongdae what the did you do to my boyfriend?!” the man screeched, his usual guyliner winging out at a sharp angle, making him seem furious, though he probably was, considering the angry red flush beginning to spread across his neck and face.

“I shouldn’t have asked,” Minseok muttered to himself. Jongdae blinked at Baekhyun with large, rounded eyes, as if to say, Who, me?, in an attempt to feign innocence but the smirk gracing his bowed lips said otherwise. “What are you talking about hyung?”

“You know damn well what you did!” Baekhyun shrieked in anger, his voice shrill.

Jongin was about to ask what had happened, but realized he didn’t need to as a bumbling Chanyeol bounded up to them, a toothy grin stretched across his face as he hollered, “Baekkie! Look now we match!”

The lanky oaf looked like he had been attacked with a leaking glow stick. There were doodles painted all over his face in a neon orange ink. It was like a human traffic cone gone wrong. Similar to Chanyeol’s grand finale on Baekhyun’s foot, a large and rather crudely drawn neon orange shined brightly amongst the other scribbles on Chanyeol’s forehead.

“It’s… uh, nice,” was all Jongin could manage in an attempt to comfort the first victim of the Sharpie attack, who looked like he was about to strangle a laughing Jongdae. However, his comment proved futile when his ever-so-subtle boyfriend stated flatly, “You look ridiculous,” practically deflating all of Chanyeol’s previous excitement.

“Oh no hyung,” Jongdae wheezed as he clutched at his sides, clearly struggling to stay upright and leaning against a still sluggish Minseok, who wasn’t awake enough to fully comprehend the situation (the mural on Chanyeol’s face probably seemed like some bad nightmare). “Don’t listen to Kyungsoo, you look fantastic.”

Faster than a boomerang, Chanyeol brightened up again, distorting what seemed to be the words ‘Steamed buns forever’ on his cheeks when he smiled. The giant’s boyfriend, on the other hand, was not so easily satisfied.

“I will piss on everything you love,” Baekhyun hissed, lunging for the culprit as Sehun and Luhan did their best to hold him back.

Jongdae hugged Minseok from behind, nuzzling the older’s neck as he cried, “No! Anything but my Baozi!”

Jongin was more interested in the logistics of the situation. “Wait,” he said to Jongdae, “If you were having such a grand time throwing a graffiti party all over Chanyeol’s face while he was asleep, how were you able to kick the back of my seat the whole time?”

Jongdae let go of his boyfriend temporarily to shrug. “I’ve learned how to multitask. Besides, I couldn’t leave my poor dongsaeng unoccupied for such a long ride, now could I? What type of hyung would I be if I did that?”

“I’m floored by your overwhelming kindness” Jongin deadpanned as Baekhyun moaned in horror in what almost seemed to be agony. “He’s evolved!”

“Yo dips!” Yifan called from other side of the van, “If you don’t get your asses over here and grab your stuff, I’m chucking it in the nearby lake!”

Everyone scrambled over to where the Chinese-Canadian giant was, taking their suitcases and other things. Poor Sehun had been given the task of carrying not only his own luggage, but also Yifan’s and Zitao’s due to the fact that Yifan just couldn’t bear waking up his little panda and insisted on carrying the boy that had been sleeping for more than 5 hours bridal-style so as not to disturb his “nap” (though at this point, it was more of a hibernation).

“Why don’t you just-” grunt, “-wake the little lazy bastard up and-” wheeze, ”-tell him to carry his own ing heavy- damn it Zitao what’d you put in here, rocks?!”

Zitao was unresponsive, somehow still in a deep slumber in Yifan’s arms, and at the wake-him-up-and-I-will-chop-off-your-balls look Yifan sent him, Sehun gave up on protesting, and instead slowly made his way to the cabin, mumbling about maknae abuse.

Junmyeon was at the front door searching for something his satchel (Jongdae of course, spent almost every waking moment pissing the elder off by calling it a man-purse). The others were all crowded on the front porch behind him, growing impatient.

“What are you waiting for?” Sehun whined, “My arms are about to fall off.”

“I-I can’t find the keys,” Junmyeon stuttered, clearly flustered that after the hours upon hours he had put into planning this trip the night before, he had managed to misplace the keys to the cabin. Yixing pat his perplexed boyfriend’s arm for comfort. “There there, Joonie. Calm down and think. When’s the last time you saw them?”

Junmyeon stopped and thought about it before his complexion paled and his eyes widened in horror at the mistake he had made. “I gave them to you. You said you would hold onto them for me.”

Yixing stared back at him blankly. “I did?”

“Oh, ing hell.”

Jongdae is such a little in this fic dear Jesus.

Nowadays I tend to write Luhan more as the little character. Finally updating after I finished Phoenix 451. Feel free to check it out if you have time! I'm hoping to be putting up a new story soon too! Gotta decide which one though...

First semester finals are finally over I AM A FREE WOMAN #BLESS

Noob writing will continue until chapter 5 or 6. Then it'll switch over to now-writing. Hope I don't disrupt the flow lol.

Happy Friday!

Less than three,

PalmerPie