「ㅤEXCERPT FOUR。

「ㅤ게임제로。 story begins !!
excerpt four
it's december thirtieth, one of those days when he feels as if the bite of frost is eating away at his face, and no amount of heat packs is sufficient in keeping him warm. but it's slightly different today, because his palms sweat so much he's about to grow ice popsicles on his fingertips. 
 
the days counting down to the new year has been anything but enjoyable for him. he's only received a box of underwear for his eighteenth christmas, and the news of his father's demise delivered to him in the form of a snail mail, sixteen days after the funeral.
 
calling him a pessimistic person would be a clear understatement. he was ruined, wrecked, and yet he has to pull himself together; there's no one who would patch him up if he crumbled. maybe that's the life of an elder child, always having to put up a strong front, to be more mature than their siblings, to behave like an adult, despite being only a year or two older than them. 
 
he hates responsibilities, but fate would have it that he shouldered this burden as soon as his siblings were born, one after another. it was annoying. he wanted to shrug it all off and live like a person his age, but who would take the duties after that? 
 
and so he clenches his fists and grits his teeth hard. he can't cry.
 
LAYOUT BY HEEBUMDAE
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nephesh
#1
Happy belated Christmas and happy anniversary for this fic!
Meowrr
#2
Chapter 17: This is so sad omg, whoever that is I felt compelled to hug the air out of him atm ;w; ♡
nephesh
#3
Chapter 17: it feels like jiwoong to me. maybe the extremely long training time and then his pale skin description. i could be wrong though. poor kid has a long way to go.
hiikyoung
#4
Chapter 17: Poor guy. This one seems less "traumatic", but it feels very real. Who hasn't experienced this feeling?

I'm going to guess...Hajun or Dongha?
hiikyoung
#5
...not crazy, right? There was a layout change? O_o;;
nephesh
#6
Chapter 16: i managed to gain access earlier so why not lmao anyways.
Hajun... /hugs/ like what hiikyoung said, there's definitely a minor (major?) grudge and it fits jiwoong's personality and eight-year background right. he doesn't want to mess up a lot, but in return it goes to people who aren't supposedly blamed to. but hey, you can't hold bad feelings for days and expecting yourself not guilty, right? i can see both of them getting closer from that on, because you need some kind of bait to gain something. sacrifices. the house analogy; the happiest are also the saddest? but i know hajun's not afraid of getting hurt, it's just that his supports are very lacking (from the team itself; one man for themselves), so that's good for him.
moving on; i... love the details you'd given to seonha in this chapter. his health, the food, the insults, and all... makes me happy, really. and for the first time, it's a very calm ending (but don't tell me this is a 'good before the storm' thing, okay?! XD) that actually sets contrasts to the argument between the older members. this being added with the fact that both of them are very secretive. People fight like they bond, i guess. the group definitely is catching up with each other, closer in a sense of interaction. baby steps, but it's there. thank you, again, for your updates!
hiikyoung
#7
Chapter 16: Jiwoong...Jiwoong, Jiwoong, Jiwoong.../shakes head/ It's an interesting dynamic. They're both lead dancers and sub vocals. Though arguably on paper, you might consider Jiwoong the more talented since he's a bit of a triple threat and a visual. However, poor Hajun. Trying to keep that colorful, happy front must be tough (nice imagery btw). You have to wonder if Jiwoong's lashing out is due to his feeling of inadequacies (I highly suspect so). Not being a leader, being the second youngest but also being the longest trainee...wow, this part focused more on Hajun, and yet I'm getting more insight into Jiwoong. Kekeke. Anyhow! Hajun is going to be one of those characters who eventually snaps, huh? Please no...#protectHajun2016.

It's nice to see Yimin opening up to someone outside of Soohyun. I wonder what they fought about? What's interesting is it's Yimin and Seonha. And yet this doesn't surprise me. Both so quiet, with so many secrets. I can imagine they have an understanding between each other. It's wonderful to see them happy though. So much of this story so far doesn't show happiness: only sadness and hardship (not complaining! :D ). That ending was remarkably cute though. Yay~! I hope this opens them up to the others eventually. I think these boys are too much of 'islands unto themselves' than a team.

Thank you for the update. You do it so consistently. :)
nephesh
#8
Chapter 16: its 1.30 am already but thank you! i'll get the full comment in 18 hours.
hiikyoung
#9
Yassss...

I'll give you a proper comment once I get to my laptop!!
curiously
#10
Chapter 15: i get so excited when i see your updates jfc you have no idea i hope it's not jiwoong's excerpt
but as far as i know, he's the only one with a sibling unless yimin has some too... but somebody's
dad died and he was informed so so so much later. that makes me so sad and upset. like, isn't it
also the eldest child's duty in korea to help take care of the funeral process and whatnot? okay maybe
i'm getting carried away but it's always the child who holds their parent's picture during the funeral
march. WHY DIDN'T THEY LET HIM KNOOOOW. i'm talking to myself at this point but i know it was probably
so he can focus on his debut and training. but still mf. good lord i need a doctor to control the emotions i feel inside.