06: Fear

        The only thing that filled Suzy's mind was death. 

The only thing she could think about was the painful way that she would die, just like how Se-young died. She had never felt so much fear in her life before, and it was slowly starting to take over her entire body. 

The announcements had ended and the gates slowly slid back open, each of the districts leaving to their dorms. Suzy sat in her spot, her face pale. She didn't want to move, she didn't want to do anything. Baekhyun sighed and crouched down infront of her, patting his back for her to get on.

"Come on," Baekhyun said gingerly. "We should go back."

     Suzy didn't budge as she sat there, tears lining her eyes. Baekhyun peeked and knelt before her, wiping the tears that formed on her eyes. He understood how scary this was, especially for a fragile girl who had only been here for less than a week. Baekhyun himself had been in the games a few times, and had managed to come out alive. 

The rest of their district had left and only left Suzy, Taehyung, Baekhyun, Jungyeon and Zico in their area with a few from the other districts also crying and praying to God. 

Suzy stared at Zico who silently wiped the blood off his mouth, staring at Jieun who was tearing up. 

"Suzy," Baekhyun said gingerly. "I know this is really scary, knowing the fact that you could die. But you have to trust me, Myungsoo and Irene are going to train you nice and hard, extremely hard so that you and Zico will come out of the games as final victors."

"But I'm so scared Baekhyun," she said hoarsely, covering her face with her hands. "I don't know if I can do this."

"I've been in the games three times already, and I'm still here. Jung-yeon has been in the games four times and she's still here. It's because Myungsoo and Irene trained us nice and hard," he smiled, trying to erase the fear in her heart. 

"You only have two things on your side," Jung-yeon joined. "That bastard," she glared at Zico. "and hope. You need to have faith in yourself; believe that you will come out alive. Remember, this game is no longer a solo mission. You're a team. "

The three stared at Zico who snorted. 

"Just film a melodrama, wont you?" he scoffed and limped out of the amphitheater, dribbling traces of blood on the floor.

"Don't worry about him," Baekhyun assured. "It's a win win situation. He can't survive without you, and you can't survive without him."

Baekhyun comforted Suzy and helped her hop onto his back. Suzy felt so weak, especially with this fight on her mind. Baekhyun and Jungyeon were two tough people, and Suzy wasn't sure if she was up to their level.

Se-young's death had left such a deep impact on her that she could only fear this. 

---

     " for her," the other boys murmured as they watched Suzy poking her food with her fork meaninglessly. Her eyes were fixed into the empty space as she swirled around the mashed potato she prepared - Taehyung prepared for dinner.

"Isn't she the first to get picked right after she came in?" Min-gyu whispered under his breath.

"Yeah," Chanhee nodded, watching as Zico walked up to the table with a plateful of food. His face was filled with bandages and blood that nearly cracked through it. 

"But they changed the games this time," Min-gyu added. "Why are they just suddenly doing this all of a sudden?"

"I guess they were really keen on killing off the ones who trespassed," the two glanced at Zico who slammed his fork on the table and gave the two boys a dirty look. He shoved his earphones into his ears and quietly ate his food expressionlessly.

"Eat up," a familiar voice popped up infront of Suzy. 

She watched as Myungsoo loaded more food onto her half empty plate, gesturing for her to eat. She grinned faintly and stared at her full plate. She really had no appetite, it was abnormal for her to have one. 

"I'm not hungry," she placed her fork down. 

"You're going to need alot of energy to train, I say you eat up."

Suzy sighed and looked at Myungsoo, her eyes filled with frustration and fear. She was tired of living in this strange world filled with people she had never met, and now this world was threatening her life. 

"Really," she refused quietly. "I don't have an appetite-"

"Listen to what I say, you're going to want to eat-"

"I SAID I'M NOT HUNGRY!" 

     Suzy screamed, throwing her plate across the table. The whole dining room went silent as all eyes were on Suzy who stared at the plate on the floor, cracked into pieces. Myungsoo stared at Suzy, shocked.  She glanced at Zico who didn't even bother looking up and felt more anger arising from inside. She hated how out of all these people, she was the one who had to go and sacrifice her life. 

"Suzy," Taehyung walked up to her. "If you weren't hungry you could have said so.."

"I said I wasn't hungry," her voice shrilled, her eyes filled with tears. "I said I didn't want any more."

Suzy wiped the tears rolling down her cheek and pushed through Taehyung, excusing herself to the dormitory.  Suzy couldn't control her tears as she climbed up the stairs. She felt herself getting so weak as she reached the last step.

To the loving people - Jung Jaehyung

She crashed onto her bed and curled into a small ball, muffling her cries.

      She missed Joo-hyuk so much and just wanted to see his face again. There was no one she could rely on, not a single person who would understand how scared she was. She didn't want anyone to tell her that she would make it out alive; she wanted someone to understand how afraid she was. 

She looked up and looked around the dark room with a guttering light hanging off the ceiling.

     She slipped out her backpack from under her bed and slipped out her mobile phone.  She hadn't touched it since the day she dropped in to this place. There was a large crack splitting the screen. She the screen and stared at the lockscreen wallpaper of her and Joohyuk together. Her eyes felt red as she stared at the picture, knowing that she could never go back. 

"Boyfriend?"

A voice popped up from behind. Suzy dropped her phone, staring at the figure from behind. Jieun sat on the floor, staring at Suzy's lockscreen.  Suzy snatched the phone off her and slipped it into her backpack, pushing it under her pillow. 

"I won't steal you know," she chewed on her beef jerky. "I have one too." she slipped out her phone and smiled.

"I had a boyfriend too," she continued. "But I ended up here." 

"Don't you hate it?"

"Hate what?"

"This," Suzy pointed everwhere and sighed in frustration. "Just.. everything."

"Well," she shrugged. "Who doesn't? We're all at the brink of death each day, but there's nothing we can do except staying brave and courageous."

"I want to get out of here," Suzy teared up. "So bad."

"Don't cry," she wiped her tears. "Stay strong." 

Suzy stared at Jieun and felt a small peck of assurance from her. 

"I know you're scared about the game Suzy," she leaned against the wall. "I admit the game sounds terrifying. I was crying on my knees right before my first game, begging someone else to go in my place. But when I actually entered the game arena, the only thought that ran through my mind was to survive. It's like.. you're too scared to be scared, you know?" 

"You mean.. you survived?" Suzy blurted, scanning Jieun's weak fragile figure.

"I did it," she shrugged. "And so will you."

"What if.. I don't make it..?"

"Then.. I guess you just.. perish."

Suzy was horrified at the thought. Even if she died, she wanted to die at a place with Joo-hyuk, somewhere wehere the people she loved would remember and grieve for her. She didn't want to disappear in a place where a death was a death, and everyone moved on.

She didn't want to be forgotten.

"You don't want to be forgotten, right?" Jieun asked, staring at the boy on Suzy's screen. 

"It's good that even if you go missing.. there's someone who will miss you."

"What do you mean Jieun?"

"Before I got stranded here, I got in a large fight with my boyfriend.. We were just going through a rough patch and even the smallest things that I could have just let it slide, I had to make a fuss about it, because I cared too much."

"You cared too much..?" Suzy asked. "You can never care too much."

"Anyone can care too much if they love you too much. Whether it be your father, mother, sibling, boyfriend, if you love them too much you'll trap them within your boundaries because you care for them too much and can't see them getting hurt."

Suzy thought of her father.

Did he love her too much? Is that why he trapped her the whole time?

"I was afraid SungJae would leave me. While I loved him more as time passed, he seemed to get sick of me as time passed. I wasn't ready to let him go because I still love him too much, but everything's too late now."

"Why..?"

"I don't know if I'll get out of here alive. I don't know if I'll ever see him again. The last thing I said to him was that I hated him so much. Even if I get out of here, too much time will have passed. He would have moved on and met a new girl.."

The two girls sat, silent.

"Here," Jieun slipped out a little box from under the bed and gave it to Suzy. "You're going to need it."

"What is it?"

     Suzy opened the box to find a swiss knife, a tub of ointment, a sling-shot, a bag of glass marbles, and a flashlight. She looked at Jieun who looked back at her with a look of assurance. Jieun shut the lid hurridly at the sound of footsteps and shoved the box under her bed, staring at Soo-Jung who entered the bedrooms, into the bathroom. Jieun sighed a breath of relief as she slipped the box out and began stuffing it into Suzy's bag.

"You can't tell anyone about this," Jieun whispered.

"Why..?"

"If the others find out I have all these goodies, they'll steal it off me within hours."

"You tried to hide it..?"

"Of course, I want to get out of here too."

"Why are you offering these to me..?"

"You don't want it?"

"No no," Suzy laughed half heartedly and took back the stuff. 

She was worried, but in another sense, she was also ready. 

---

     Suzy woke up to the abrupt sound of horns blasting in her ears. She sat up abruptly, seeing Zico stand right infront of her bed. She looked at the other girls who were still sound asleep despite the loud horn and sighed. She stared at Zico who was dressed in red sweats and sweathood, with a large backpack hung loosely on his right shoulder. His hair was unkempt and a mess like he had just woken up, not to mention his face.

"What's your problem?!"

Suzy hissed as she rubbed her ears in shock.

"It's 5."

"And?"

"Training."

"What?"

"Just get up already," Zico opened the drawers and threw a pair of sweats and sweathood at her face, pulling out the bag that she had filled with Jieun's secret items. 

"What training?"

"Hurry up already," he scowled and exited the bedroom, stomping loudly on his way down the stairs.

She put on the clothes that he threw at her face and brushed her hair lightly before walking down the stairs, where Zico waited at the door with her bag in his hands. With a gasp, she clutched her bag off his hand and hid it behind her back.

Zico only glared at her and walked out the door, letting it shut in Suzy's face.

     Suzy trailed behind Zico, following his bright red clothes as a support in the darkness. The sky got brighter as they walked and walked, past all the other districts to a what looked like a large outdoor gymnasium. 

     Suzy was already worn out from all the walking. They had walked about half a kilometer without stopping, and Suzy had never walked this much in her life before. She wiped the small sweatbeads off her forehead and caught her breath, staring at Zico who stared back at her pathetically. 

"Walking here was tiring?" 

Zico sighed and ran his fingers through his head. 

"I'm sorry.." Suzy bit her lips. "I've never walked this much before.."

"That was half the speed we are normally supposed to walk in the game-" Zico seethed at Suzy who stared back at him with an expression of struggle from the walking. Suzy had a weak heart and in the worst case, sometimes suffered from asthma. 

"We're already late anyway," he grabbed her wrist and pulled her inside the large gymnasium. 

      Suzy looked around the place, agape. The entire place was like an olympic training center, something she had only seen in the news and publications. Her eyes caught on the many people all scattered around in different areas of the training center, training for the game. Suzy flinched at the sight of a girl throwing a M-9 Bayonet at a mannequin, aiming it perfectly in the middle of the face. 

She looked away as the girl glared at her and wiped the knife on her shirt. 

"Quit that," Zico hissed and pinched her on the arm.

"OW! Stop what?!"

"Staring at everyone."

"I was not," she replied, her eyes on the masculine guy climbing the wall.

Zico grabbed her jaw and angled it toward him, staring into her eyes.

"If you dont' want to get killed here, only look at me."

He grabbed her wrist tightly and pulled her toward a glass room where Myungsoo and Irene awaited. 

Zico released her, leaving a large red mark on her wrist. 

"You guys are ten minutes late." 

Irene crossed her arms and stared at Zico, who gave Suzy a dirty look. 

"It's not my fault there's a pig in this room," Zico muttered and crossed his arms, staring at Myungsoo who smacked his head. 

"You guys have to work together for your lives," Myungsoo sighed. "It's about time you guys get along."

     The four of them sat on the floor and stared out the glass wall, watching the other district people practicing their attack and defense. Silence, soon followed by despair wrapped over them as the three stared at Suzy who was biting her nails in nervousness. She looked so fragile, Myungsoo wasn't sure where to start. He didn't want anyone from his district to die, but as much as that - it was a fight of pride between the district leaders.

The larger the district, the better the leader.

Nobody knew when, but it started that way. 

"You know.. exactly why you guys are nominated." Myungsoo stared at the other district members throwing knives and shooting arrows at the target, hitting a perfect bullseye. "The North knows exactly who you guys are and they know it was you two that.. trespassed."

Myungsoo sighed, trying to contain his anger. 

"They're not going to make this any easier for us-"

"Did they ever?" Zico shrugged, chewing on gum. 

"What I'm trying to say is," Myungsoo glared at Zico and fixed his attention on Suzy. "They're going to make things harder, especially for you guys."

Myungsoo slipped out a swiss knife from his inner pocket and began clicking the blade in and out, watching as the girl from district one sliced off the mannequin's neck with an axe, blindfolded.

"We have two weeks," Irene said. "You have to be like them in 14 days Suzy."

Irene pointed to the girl and guy from district two that threw five knives consecutively, all of them landing directly in the heart of the mannequin. 

"How..?" Suzy stuttered. "I can't even walk long distance, how can I throw long distance?"

Myungsoo threw the knife at Suzy who catched it with both hands, startled. 

"You see that target on the door?" he pointed to the dartboard hanging in the middle of the door. "I want you to hit your best."

"I really can't throw Myungsoo-"

"It's okay," he assured her. "I just want to see where I have to start training you."

"I really can't-"

"Just ing throw it already," Zico gripped the knife in her hand and returned to his spot, watching her. 

Suzy gulped and raised her arm, throwing the knife.

She watched as the door flung open, the figure catching the knife with his right hand. Suzy sat, startled as the figure dropped the knife and wiped the small blood off his palm, walking towards them with a girl beside him - presumably the Irene of their group. 

"We have this room booked until 8."

"Too weak of a throw, wouldn't you say?" the boy smirked as he glanced at Suzy, snorting. 

"We're having a team meeting right now Nam Woohyun."

"I heard you've got a newbie in your district," he knelt down to meet Suzy's eye level. "I heard she's quite the looker. This is the one, huh?" he chuckled and stood up, glaring at Zico who glared back at him. 

"What do you want?" Irene glared.

"Our team got a newbie just this morning," he nodded. "Said he wants to participate instead of our original nominee. Thought this would be a nice opportunity for a little bonding between the two districts, don't you think?"

Myungsoo glared at Woohyun who chuckled. 

Suzy watched as a tall girl walked in; the only thing visible was her cat eyes that almost made her look like she was Zico's sister. 

"You must know our treasure," Woohyun wrapped his arm around the girl. "Kyung-ri." 

Suzy watched as Kyung-ri glared at her, her eyes fixed on Zico. 

Suzy watched as the boy stumbled into the room with a large smile on his face. 

Suzy watched in shock as he bowed down and introduced himself to Suzy's district.

Before her stood Joo-hyuk.