-It is just part of the flashback-

Because of that phone call, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about him.

All the memories came back right into my head.

I can remember how sweet he called my name.

I can remember how he treated me right, texted me everytime.

Sometimes we also do video calls.

I still have those screencaps on my phone,

All the pictures of you..

I still have it all even now.

But it’s somewhere far, I kept it far away from me so I won’t approach it anymore.

Who knows that now I want to see it again.

I miss him,

But I also don’t.

He treated me right,

But he was mean.

I love him,

But I don’t like him too.

There are parts of him that I love so much,

But there are also many parts of him that I hate.

He ignored me for I don’t know how long for no reason.

I hate that side of him.

And now,

Guess what?

He appeared again.

I also hate that.

I just can’t get what was he thinking and what he is thinking now.

He said he loves me but why he was being so mean like really mean?

Left me behind without words,

Never reply me at all,

Keep ignoring whatever I said,

Getting mad at me for no reason,

Scolding me badly,

What’s the point of all that?

But,

Even so I still love him.

Love him badly.

I didn’t care about people think I’m stupid to stay with him.

I didn’t care how he treated me badly.

I only care that I love him and I want to stay by side forever.

People who sees that will say that I’m the good one and he’s the bad guy.

They will say he’s lucky to have me.

But,

I feel lucky to have him, back then.

In fact, I was really lonely and nobody would notice me at all.

It was him.

He’s the first one.

He’s my first love.

He taught me many things,

He shared many things with me.

I love him so much.

But why?

Why did he change?

Why can’t he be the same?

After all these times, I realized that maybe I was wrong.

I’m selfish that I only care about me with him.

I didn’t think of his feelings towards me.

I didn’t ask him what did he want.

Even he gave me painful memories, he also gave me memorable memories.

I couldn’t get that from anyone else and I really treasure it.

I didn’t regret a thing about being with him.

The only thing I regret is…

I couldn’t make him happier and I was selfish.

But let the past be history, let’s move on.

That’s what I thought at first.

But now,

He came back.

He contacted me.

He explained everything.

He apologized.

Will I be able to move on again?

It was so hard for me to forget him..

And now I need to move on from him for the second time?

I can only talk to myself, saying that he’s the past.

We can’t be together.

I’m sure he has moved on too.

He also told me that by now I should have lost my feelings.

What does that suppose to mean?

You guess it yourself.

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I'm sorry i haven't update my story because i'm kind of busy >< but i will try to be more active asap. thanks for reading and subscribing anyway! i would be happy if you would leave comment ^^