It’s all true. The dog, the job, the button obsession, all of it. Taehyung couldn’t make Anna up if he tried — and he had a vastly supplied imagination. Early morning binging failed to solve his life’s biggest conundrum. 

Tossing another 20 bucks at the Starkiller Base, he hoped it’d be enough to free the sun: a proverbial lightbulb in the void of his mind. “What’s the galaxy got against me today?” Taehyung asked dryly. Even Obi-Wan gets cranky on two hours of sleep.

Anna leaned back in her chair. Dangling glass clinked above their heads. Yellow walls glare at the tiniest inconsistencies. “Let’s do this another day,” she suggested with a neighborly smile.

“Trace circles, turn on the smoke machine, whip out the crystal ball, just make with the common sense,” he demanded. Anna didn’t flinch an inch, shields impenetrable. “C’mon.”

“You’re upset.” Clearly. But she pressed on, “Why?”

“Feed me bull one-liners. Placate me temporarily. People don’t pay you for a healthy dose of reality!” he yelled — he yelled? 

“You’re upset,” she repeated with the persuasive power of Rey, Jedi-to-be. “Why are you projecting?” 

This wasn’t like him. Star Wars Episode VI was set to start at 9pm; he’d known this for two weeks. TV schedules rarely changed. Sports-related delays can be calculated to the exact second “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…” would fade in. Anna is an unknown variable — a freak accident in the Force. 

“I don’t know how to run without someone holding my hand.” Taehyung realized, “I’m scared, Anna.”

“Who told you not to be?”

Getting up, she offered a cup of the galaxy’s finest, over-the-counter sleeping medication. The All-Seeing Anna became a — perfectly sane — human being in the span of two minutes. Taehyung’s conundrum was redefined. Who told him life is an equation looking to be solved?