Confession | II

[T.S. You Should Be Here by Kehlani]

Many people ask me what are my biggest fears. And often times, they’d expect answers like heights, the dark or even mascots and clowns. But how do I tell them about that one chapter in my life I’ve been trying endlessly to forget?

I watched as the clock ticks, while the night drew closer to the morning. I should have been asleep but right now it's almost like I'm drowning in the sea of this dark twisted thoughts that are keeping me wide awake. It's just crazy because we grew up with all this love and hope within our hearts but the only thing I could think about at the moment is the horror upon the face of this earth we are living on.

Through a first hand experience,  I was forced to learn that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. She could be the most endearing person you have ever met and within a blink of an eye, all those qualities you once adored are now nothing but bad habits of theirs you would like to change. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible. And her head on your chest is no longer lovable, just another discomfort and distraction in your busy life.

So for anyone who ever wonders, that’s my biggest fear.

Nothing baffles and terrifies me more than the thought of myself becoming ugly to someone who once believed that all the stars were decorated in my eyes.

Integrity_