“I see you have landed yourself in this poor state, my child.”

 

Seulgi stared blankly at the wall in front of her. Despite her mother’s sarcastic comment, she chose not to answer. 

 

Her thoughts were occupied by someone else. 

 

Closing her eyes once more, she tried to move all her fingers on her dominant hand. 

 

But the second and third refused to respond. 

 

Drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, she felt hot tears make their way past her eyelids once more. 

 

Was she ever going to be able to draw again?

 

Most importantly, would she be able to keep her promise and take care of Joohyun?  

 

“I heard you can’t even hold a pen now, since your second and third fingers can’t move,” Mrs Kang commented as she hung her coat up. 

 

Silence was the reply. 

 

“Meaning to say, no matter how I try to get you back under your old company, you’ll technically be quite useless, no?”

 

The whirring of the fan was all that could be heard as Seulgi continued to keep mum. 

 

“So that means, no more cash flowing in, yes?” 

 

Knowing Seulgi wasn’t going to reply, Mrs Kang continued, “So I don’t have much of a reason to be related to you any longer hmm? Considering you can’t support me any more. 

 

“Seulgi, you understand that your mother is old and needs money right. And your girlfriend makes money which could support the two of you right?

 

“So don’t burden your poor mother with monetary woes mm?” Mrs Kang Seulgi’s cheek gently but the caress was devoid of love. 

 

“Considering the damage you have done to my reputation, I think the least we can do now is to severe our familial ties. Then you’ll be free to date that girl whom you love. Both of us win that way right?

 

“But you see, I still love you a little bit. So I’ll grant you one last wish. What would that be, my beloved daughter?”

 

Finally, Seulgi responded. Her own mother disowning her was the least of her worries. All she wanted to do now was to avoid Joohyun at all costs. 

 

The Joohyun whom she could no longer draw. 

 

The Joohyun whom she could no longer suport. 

 

The Joohyun whom she still loved. 

 

“Take me home.”

 

———

 

It was hard keeping the tears from flowing. 

 

Seulgi squeezed her eyes shut as she recalled Joohyun’s face as she handed the keys over. That broken expression on her face made her hate herself even more and even as she was wheeled away, she could feel that forlorn gaze on her back. 

 

She might have broken Joohyun’s heart now but at least, in the future, she would be able to find someone else who would love her, and be able to support her financially. 

 

It was better this way. 

 

Her mother had left her alone in her apartment and left without saying much. Or maybe she did say something just that Seulgi didn’t hear it. 

 

She just wanted to be alone for a while. 

 

Hands grasping the wheels of the wheelchair, Seulgi began to move around. 

 

Or at least she tried. 

 

She was weak and exhausted from the hospital trip and there was little strength to keep her going. She could barely make it to her bedroom in one piece. Controlling the wheelchair was harder than she had thought and it honestly made her regret not staying in the hospital. How on earth was she going to open her door for the physiotherapist who was coming in the next day? 

 

Using the remains of her energy, Seulgi moved herself onto her bed before flopping face down on it, gaining some relief as her muscles finally relaxed after the herculean effort. 

 

She inhaled a deep breath. 

 

Only to feel tears welling up at the corners of her eyes once more. 

 

The sheets smelt like Joohyun. 

 

That immediately brought her back to the days when Joohyun was still living with her, cooking breakfast for her every morning, sleeping in her arms…could she ever feel her in her arms again? 

 

Only then did Seulgi remember that it wasn’t just the sheets: Joohyun had left her clothes in her closet, books she was still reading on the nightstand and even her favourite fabric freshener in the pantry. It served as a reminder as to how Joohyun had seamlessly integrated into Seulgi’s life and when she was no longer around, she had left something for Seulgi to remember her by in every aspect of her life as well. 

“ARGHHH!” Seulgi let loose a howl before grabbing a handful of sheets and crying into them. Her heart felt like it was breaking over and over with each breath she inhaled. She really wanted a future with Joohyun but, in her current state, she would only be a liability to the latter. 

 

Why did fate have to be so cruel? 

 

With thoughts of Joohyun flooding her mind, Seulgi fell asleep, dried tear tracks on her cheeks the only evidence of the emotional turmoil she was going through.

 

———

 

It was one of those days Joohyun didn’t feel like getting out of bed. 

 

She was back in her own apartment and the night hadn't gone very well. 

 

How could she sleep when the warmth by her side was no longer there? When the smells of oils and paints no longer lulled her to sleep? When those arms that protected her were no longer around her? 

 

It seemed as though those days were going to occur more and more frequently now, considering that Joohyun hadn’t even gotten a wink of sleep in the past three days. Looking into the mirror, the dark eye circles were becoming more and more prominent and that, combined with puffy red eyes made her look like a overworked labourer. 

 

It was so ironic; her heart was still beating yet it felt as though it had broken into pieces. Her last interaction with Seulgi had left a terribly deep impression in her mind. All she remembered was the artist’s trembling lips while her own hand shook as the keys were handed over. 

 

Needless to say, she had phoned in sick the next day, and the next and it looked as though she would phone in sick today as well. 

 

Bogum had left her a couple of voicemails asking her if she was fine but she was in no mood to reply. Hell, she was in no mood to do anything but lay in bed and mope over her broken heart and unanswered questions. 

 

Why did Seulgi break up with her just like that? 

 

However, even if Joohyun was suffering, there was no alcohol involved. 

 

Because that was one promise she had made to Seulgi and she wanted to keep that. Not for herself but as a reminder of the care the artist had shown her during their time together. 

 

The harmonious melody of her doorbell signalled the arrival of a guest. Joohyun furrowed her eyebrows. Who was here? 

 

Seulgi?

 

At that thought, Joohyun leapt out of bed and raced to the door. Maybe all this was just a bad dream and Seulgi was here to apologise and take her back. 

 

“Joohyun? Are you alright?” 

 

“Oh, mom it’s you…” Joohyun trailed off as her head finally registered the figure standing in front of her. 

 

“You don’t look too happy to see me and my god, you look as though you haven't slept for days! Is the bridal chain not treating you well?” Mrs Bae asked, cupping her daughter’s face in her hands. 

 

And that was when Joohyun broke down. 

 

Collapsing into her mother’s embrace, she cried her heart out until there was nothing left. No tears, no emotions, and most importantly, no more pain. Throughout everything, the mother simply held her daughter; the embrace enough to speak words of comfort. Even as Joohyun poured her heart out to her mother, the latter still did not utter a word, letting her daughter speak whatever was on her mind. And at the end of it all, when Joohyun’s head was resting on her mother’s lap and with the older’s fingers threading through the younger’s hair, the duo came to a silent conclusion. 

 

Maybe it was time Joohyun took a break and headed back to Daegu. 

 

———

 

3 months later

 

This was becoming very unhealthy, Seulgi mentally noted as she buried her nose in one of Joohyun’s shirts. It had been months since the two of them had broken up but Joohyun had yet to drop by Seulgi’s place to collect her things. Of course, who was she kidding? No one would want to turn up at their ex’s place to collect their things right after a break up. Maybe she should pack all of Joohyun’s stuff in a box and place it by her front door and get Bogum to inform Joohyun to collect it. 

 

Yep, she should, soon. After she was done smelling the scent of Joohyun’s shirts to sleep. 

 

The past few months hadn’t been going well for her. Other than the most obvious reason why, she had been deprived of doing the thing she loved the most and it didn’t help that the list of couples who wanted her to draw their wedding portraits for them was growing longer by the day. Needless to say, the boutique had to turn down many of their requests, not because there were too many but because they couldn't do it. 

 

Or rather Seulgi couldn’t do it. 

 

It had been three months and Seulgi knew that the boss’ patience was beginning to wear thin. If this kept up, she was probably going to lose her job as well. 

 

Everything was clinging onto this silver of hope that her fingers would work again. 

 

Her in-house physiotherapist had been coming in daily and with her help, Seulgi had regained the use of her legs as well as her left hand. They had tried it with her right but to no avail. 

 

Seemed as though God didn’t want to help Seulgi with this. 

 

Smirking to herself, she took a swig of her favourite companion. The beer helped her forget the pain of the therapy and more importantly, the pain of breaking up with Joohyun. 

 

Bogum had tried to reach her but Seulgi was adamant on not receiving any calls and even changed her number to ensure that her phone spent most of its time silent. 

 

And that was how she spent her days. 

 

In solitude. 

 

After all, nothing mattered now right? Since she lost the ability to do what she loved as well as the person she loved. 

 

Fate was just so cruel. 

 

———

 

The bustling crowds of the Seoul streets were the first thing that hit Joohyun when she got off the bus as she headed home. It had been three months since she had last step foot onto the pavements of Seoul; during which she had spent time in Daegu, trying to take her mind off all her troubles and worries and simply recuperating emotionally. 

 

Dumping her stuff in her apartment, she took a glance around and noticed many things were missing. 

 

While she could live without those items, she should probably get them back from a certain someone who had all of them. 

 

Especially that fabric freshener. 

 

It had been three months. 

 

Did Seulgi still remember her? 

 

Did Seulgi still have feelings for her? 

 

Did Joohyun still have feelings for Seulgi? 

 

As far as she was concerned, Joohyun knew she had moved on from the artist. It was time to take everything back. After all, that’s why they say ‘a clean break’, right?

 

———

 

Ding. 

 

This was weird. Her physiotherapist wasn't supposed to turn up so early. Furrowing her eyebrows, Seulgi slowly made her way towards the door. 

 

“Joo-Joohyun,” the artist stammered as she saw her ex-girlfriend standing at her doorstep. 

 

“I, ahem” Joohyun cleared . “I came to take my stuff.” 

 

“Oh yea, sure, go ahead,” Seulgi awkwardly moved to the side to allow Joohyun to enter. “I have a couple of boxes in case-“

 

“I brought my own.”

 

“Oh.” 

 

An awkward silence ensued as Joohyun made her way deeper into Seulgi’s home. Watching her ex’s back, Seulgi finally saw how much weight she had lost. 

 

Was she the one who did this to her? Seulgi bit her tongue at that thought.

 

Locking up the front door, she shuffled to her sofa before promptly plopping herself down on it. The less time she spent around Joohyun the better. They had broken up. She needed to let Joohyun find someone else. And to do that, she needed to stay away. 

 

Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, Seulgi continued to watch her show, desperately trying not to think of the person in the next room who was finally moving on. 

 

Moving on from her. 

 

———

 

Joohyun had not expected this. 

 

She had not expected her heart to lurch at the sight of the artist. 

 

She thought she had moved on. And goddammit was she wrong as . 

 

The moment she laid her eyes on the artist, everything came back. All the emotions, all the memories, all the want and desire she had for her.

 

She noted the smell of alcohol emanating from her clothes and the legs and left arm which seemed to have gained a bit of muscle. However, the dark eye circles under her eyes gave her away; even if she seemed a bit more sturdier, she was still not resting well and was very weak. 

 

Inside, she chided herself for not standing her ground when Seulgi wanted to break up. If she had, maybe she could take care of her and Seulgi probably wouldn't have landed in this state today. 

 

As Joohyun made her way into the bedroom, she noted the glass bottles left on the night stand. Shaking her head, she grabbed as many as she could before stomping out and slamming the bottles on the table right in front of Seulgi. 

 

“Talk about double standards.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“So you can drink to get over a broken heart but I can’t?”

 

“We’re not together anymore. Whatever I do no longer concerns you.”

 

“We weren’t together when you stopped me from drinking after I broke up with Seungwan.” 

 

Joohyun noted the way Seulgi clenched her jaw as she realised that she couldn’t rebut her point. 

 

“I’m not taking this conversation any further.”

 

“We could have totally avoided this if you hadn't asked me to hand my keys over.” 

 

“We were breaking up! What right did you have to have access to my apartment?” 

 

“What right did you have to take my love and then shove it down my throat like it was garbage without giving me any legitimate reason?!” Joohyun yelled back. This had escalated into a full-blown argument and the anger that had built up over the past few months came bubbling back to the surface. No way in hell was she going to lose this argument. 

 

“You want to know why.” It was more of a statement than a question.

 

“Hell yes I do! Why Seulgi, why?!”

 

“Because I can no longer give you the life you deserve! I can no longer earn money, I can’t do what I love! ! I can’t even hold you in my arms properly anymore! And you deserve better than that!”

 

“I don’t care!”

 

“But I do!” Seulgi finally shouted and grasped Joohyun’s arms as she stood up to see her eye-to-eye. “I ing care!

 

“Because I love you!”

 

———

 

Seulgi could only hear her own breath as her confession lingered in the air. 

 

Chest heaving, she looked into Joohyun’s eyes for any sign of retaliation but all she got were tears flooding Joohyun’s eyes. 

 

“Seul,” Joohyun murmured. “You’re gripping me.”

 

“What-“

 

“Your right hand is gripping my arm.” 

 

Letting loose a shaky breath, Seulgi removed her hand and looked at it. Gingerly, she clenched her fingers until they formed a fist. 

 

Her fingers were moving. 

 

She could feel them moving. 

 

Tears made their way down her cheeks as she finally registered what was going on. 

 

Her. Hand. Was. Moving.

 

Instantly, with the newly regained control of her right hand, she cupped Joohyun’s face and crushed their lips together. 

 

Immediately, everything started to have colour. It was as though kissing Joohyun was breathing life back into her. She felt all of Joohyun’s lips with her own and begged for entry as her tongue hurriedly but sensually brushed over the entirety of Joohyun’s bottom lip. Heat started to pool in her stomach as their tongues met and she explored every crevice Joohyun’s mouth had to offer. 

 

She had missed this. 

 

She had missed her. 

 

When they finally broke apart due to the lack of oxygen, both of their eyes were closed. Both their cheeks were flushed from the aftermath of their first kiss in a very long time. 

 

But of course, one kiss is not enough to make up for three months of lost time. 

 

And their lips met. Over and over again. 

 

--------

Present for you guys considering I haven't updated in damn long.

Yes, readers wanted a less angsty chap to hope yall enjoyed the present at the end.

Not sure how many of you are open to the idea of an M rated chapter next. Comments down below so I have an idea of whether to write one or not.

Please tell me if there are errors. I'm being the slack and forever tired author who refuses to proofread her work.

This is going pretty fast I think it'll end in 2-3 chapters. Which is good because then it'll be the first legit story I've completed.

Night.