Januari 4th and 5th 2015

It starts to turn evening already. I let escape a big sigh from boredom while carring my dog Igor who lay's on his back with his paws up against my leg. I look out of the window from my appartment in Kudelstaart in the Netherlands. The sun is slowly disapearing and colloring the sky wonderful red/orange. Again another boring day is over in my boring life. It is an little bit cold sunday evening. While sitting on the coutch with the tv on and waiting for a dungeon on The World of Warcraft am I unable to stop the thoughts whitch are going trough my mind already for 2 weeks. (Why don't you tae an relationship? You are finally ready for it and you have a lot to give. No) comes the second strikked voice through my mind. (Don't forget what you always say against people who you know from the facebook roleplay world. Never look for an relation but stay patiant and wait until the guy from you're dreams is crossing you're path finally) Before the other voice can react am I standing up with another sigh and am I walking to my balcony. Igor looks supriced up and waits for my signal that he can come. "Come boy". Myvoice is cal ad friendly. Igor jumps right away from the coutch to the balcony. I light up an sigaret and close the door. My thoughts seen to have a battle together. (Do it. No don't wait.) With another sigh am I taking a sip from my sigaret. While blowing out the smoke am I looking at the sky. (No I am going to hold my word. I am not going to look for a relation.) After the smoke am I checking the time. 1.30am. It is getting time to sleep. I shut off my laptop, lock the door to the balcony, shut off my tv, check on my rabbit Jung-Su before leaving the livingroom.By the door am I turning around to Igor. "Igor come boy." He runs happy past me and stops infront of the door from the bedroom. I switch off the lights in the livingroom. Soon as I open the door for him he rushes inside and jumps on the bed. I take of my t-shirt and pants before going to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Once I'm done am I crawing into bed, prepairing the big teddy orca and feel Igor craw against me. With a smile and a kiss on his head am I laying down. "Why arn't you human Orcie? Maybe I wouldn't feel to lonely than."

I am standing in a big entrance hall with a big staircase leading to the first floor. I am looking around when my eye catches an very dark shadow on the second floor. The shadow is completely black, but I can see his posture. It is an boy clearly taler than me, short hair, slim body and a cowboyhead. "Excuse me sir but where am I?" No reaction. "Sir?" Slowly am I putting a step towards the shadow. "Who are you?" It looks like the shadow turns towards me and I hear a voice. "You will know soon enough."

Exo is filling my room. I sigh and switch off my allarm. (Again that dream. Why do I never see that guy clearly? What does my dream mean? And what does he mean I know it soon enough? Mostly when I step forewards in my dream and ask him who he is I wake up without getting an reaction.) Questions about that dream that I already have for more than 8 years are shooting trough my mind. Even during my walk with Igor. ("Would this be the sign where I've being waiting for? No it isn't. You had this dream a biljon times. But I want to have a relation and what about the answer? Be patiant.")

That early evening late afternoon I desided just to see how datingsites are. Not to find a relation. O no. Only out of curiousity. While sitting behind my desk and laptop I start to google to asian datingsites. My wish and dream always is to have an asian boyfriend.

Tons of websites popped up. The first one needed an registration. While looking at the names from the websites my hand selected in once one. It is like my hand has his own life. The site I eanded up didn't seem to need an account if you just want to look around on it. After a couple pages looking fast trough the people on it starts my hand to skip pages until my eyes catch one boy. It is the picture from the hottest and most gorgous boy i've ever seen and he...really? Yes he wears an cowboyhead. Fast am I opening his page while looking trough his information. "O my got this could be you're new daddy. He is asian, hot, y, gorgious and we have almost everything in commen." 

The gorgious boy's name is Sherwin Ayson. A 25 year old boy from the Phillippines. His birthday is a couple days after my fathers. (O my god this boy is all I looked for. Age is perfect, almost everything we have in commen, asian and the hottest I ever saw.) I see his skype standing. (I can always ad him and see how it goes. But I also need to prepair for the worst.)

I coppy his skype name and pase it in skype. My heart hasn't being beating this fast in a long long time. "Hello mmy name is Eric Timmerman and I would love to get to know you better. I found you're skype on a datingssite."

I eep waiting excited to talk to the boy named Sherwin. Everytime my skype shows me that somebody gets online am I feeling my heartbeat shooting up but calming fast again when I see till my disapointing that it isn't Sherwin comming online. After waiting for about 5 till 6 hours am I desiding to give it up for tonight and to go to bed sad and disapointed.