It would be a ridiculous lie if he said that the fluttering feeling his heart gets every time Junhyung smiles was just a friendly one. He could lie that the blush on his face was from the scorching sun, that the wide toothy grin that stretches from ear to ear was from the jokes that they shared, that the moon shaped eyes that sparkled were from the bright light that filled the room. He could lie about all that and everything else, but he cannot lie about the fluttering feeling. That feeling that fills him up with every soft brush against his skin by Junhyung's fingers and with every gentle tousling of his hair. Sometimes, he even find himself closing his eyes, leaning even closer, wordlessly asking for more. 

And Yoseob finds that he cannot be more pathetic than he already is. Not until now. 
Not until the most recent conversation he had with Junhyung. The conversation that ended just five minutes ago. 



------



"What's with the long face?" 



"I'm a useless man. I'm the world's most useless man, aren't I?"



Yoseob frowned at the resigned sigh the taller male just released and sat beside him on the grass patch. 
If anything, Junhyung was far from being useless. In fact, he thinks that he is the world's most capable man.
And that's exactly what the smaller male tells him gently.



"What are you talking about? You are the most capable man I've ever met, Yong. Remember when we first met at the orphanage? It was both our first day there and I was crying like a baby and you were all tough and gruffy, telling me that I could depend on you from that day onwards. Sure, I thought you were a weird teen", Junhyung punched him on the shoulder lightly and a smile emerged as Yoseob continued, "But honestly, you helped me overcome the grief from losing both my parents while you're grieving for your own parents. For a weird teen, you're pretty impressive."



"That only shows that I'm good at being a friend. I'm still terribly useless as a person."



Yoseob's face morphed into a look of incredulity, the scrunched up nose and twisted features made Junhyung give a shout of laughter. The smaller male gasped dramatically, "You have got to be kidding me. After we graduated from college, you went to dabble in business and earned more money in a year than I could possibly earn in a lifetime! Even till now, you live in a huge mansion, have like three fancy cars, an olympic sized pool, a jacuzzi tub in your bathroom, and more and more and more! Are you mocking me, Yong? How could you be useless?"



"Well, he said so."



"Oh." Yoseob clammed his lips together, coldness seeping through his veins now.



Junhyung lay on the grass patch, stretching his body fully and sighed, "He said that I was like the worst boyfriend ever. That compared to his previous lover, I'm not as sensitive, not as concerned, not as funny, well basically, not as anything."



"Hey, don't put yourself down in such a manner and don't let anyone put you down this way." Yoseob interjected harshly, "Nobody have any rights to say that of you and he should not even be comparing. You're awesome, Yong, remember that. You flew back from your US business trip when he met with a car accident and you did not even raise your voice at him when you found out that he lied about his injury and simply wanted you to pay for the car repair works of the person whom he crashed into. You bought and gave him his current swanky apartment when he was chased out of his rental place because he couldn't afford it. You even arranged a trip to Japan for him and his friends, all expenses included, when you couldn't celebrate his birthday with him on the day itself. And that's on top of every thing else you've done. If you asked me, I think you've done a pretty awesome job as a boyfriend." 



Junhyung smiled and pulled the smaller male to lay beside him on the warm grass, patting him on the head as he whispered, "Thank you. You always know how to make me feel better. I guess I was just being whiny because he is completely ignoring my phone calls."



"Go to his place to look for him then," Yoseob suggested despite himself, "Bring his favourite flowers and surprise him with a dinner date to that restaurant he always wanted to go. Surely you of all people can make a last minute reservation to that place."



"You're a life saviour, Yoseob ah. I'll do just that, thanks."



Comfortable silence fell between the pair of friends as they gazed into the afternoon sky above them on the grass patch. Yoseob swallowed the ball of bitterness that had settled at the back of his throat as he breathed in deeply. There was a time to cry and it was not now. 



"How about you, Yoseob ah? Found anyone yet? Or are you still alone?"



'Am I still alone, You ask'



The smaller male snorted.



'And I just laughed.'



"Who said I'm alone? I have a lover."



'I am in love, I have someone to love.'



"Yah, Yoseob ah, you can't even lie. You are always so caught up in your work and any free time is spent playing with Yanggaengie or out with me. How could you possibly have a lover?" Junhyung turned to his side, a cheeky smirk decorating his face as he questioned the smaller male. 



Yoseob pouted, "What do you know..."



The taller male gave a hearty laugh before sighing caringly, "I'm worried you know. You have me to care for you ever since you lost your parents and I don't know who else could take better care of you other than me. I sincerely hope the right person comes and he would take care of you well, love you well."



'You seem to worry about me, telling me to meet someone nice.'



"Don't worry...



I will."



------



Back to the present time, the smaller male was walking home, having bid goodbye to Junhyung who went on his way to get the flowers for his date with him.



Every step forward was slow and heavy, every step closer to home was a harsh reminder to him. And when he finally dialed his safety code and entered his home, he gave a glance over at the empty place and sighed, smiling pathetically to himself. The door clicked behind him and he slipped out of his sneakers as he flicked on the nearest switch, lighting up the one bedroom apartment. Dragging his heavy feet to the kitchen, he filled a glass with water and headed to the couch in the middle of the living room. 



As he placed the cup on the coffee table beside the couch, his eyes caught sight of a photoframe. The only photoframe in his home. The only photo he dared to print of him and Junhyung. He didn't dare to print more for he was afraid that he would not be able to control himself from over printing and the photos might become his home's wallpaper. Reaching for the photoframe, he held it tight and settled into the couch.



It was a photo that was taken when they were in the orphanage in their graduation gowns. Their smiles were so bright that they could blind people