‘You have no idea how bad it gets.’ 

Jinyoung felt his heart down his feet with Jaebum’s words in mind as his trembling hands clenched on the orange cylinder filled with pills that he stumbled upon once he pushed the opened door. His shaky legs made it to the long-haired boy who was sprawled on his bed.

“Jaebum.” He called his friend, patting his friend’s back carefully. “Jaebum, you stupid . Wake up.” His patting turned into shakes as he rolled his friend over his back.

“Jaebum,” he yelled, pushing back the sudden rush of the worst cases scenarios. With another violent shake, his best friend opened his eyes weakly, looking at him numbly. 

“Good, stay with me,” Jinyoung begged, looking for a bottle of water. He opened it with his shaky hand while his arm supported the back of Jaebum’s head. The water slid into the shivering boy’s dry mouth as some drops ran from his jaw and neck to his t-shirt. 

“Jinyoung, what are you doing here?” Ignoring Youngjae’s question, he took off his friend’s shoes before covering him with a blanket. 

“Is he okay?” Youngjae his voice filled with worry as he got closer to check on Jaebum himself. Jinyoung closed his eyes before turning to the annoying roommate of his friend. 

“He is fine. Go to your classes or something.” 

“I’m not going anywhere; he is obviously sick.” 

“Youngjae, it isn’t the time to argue over this.” 

“You think I believe your lies? What are you hiding?” It was the first time to see Youngjae angry without his annoying wide smile, irritated. 

Jinyoung knew that was coming. The strangers would have questions that needed unwanted answers they had been desperately hiding. The lies should have been in his mind to save him from the demanding gaze on him but vanished within the million worries about Jaebum. 

The phone buzzed in his black hoodie pocket. Jisoo’s name was there as he slid right, ignoring Youngjae as he slid down to the floor next to his friend. 

“Where are you? I’m in the café.” Jisoo reminded him of their early planned meetup to enjoy coffee to celebrate their work’s successful submissions.

“Enjoy the coffee alone.” His voice was cold enough to make her silent for a few seconds.

“Did something happen? Your voice---” He cut her off with a mocking scoff, looking at Jaebum. “Like you will fix it if you know.”

“Of course, I will help if I can---” His hissing made her stop, neither believing a word nor ready to hear another delusional talk. 

“I don't need your help. I warned you before, don't act like you care. Stop being a nuisance like your friends. You all... will disappear eventually so mind your own business." His voice almost trembled as he clutched the phone tighter before hanging up.

A pinch on his chest punished him for lashing out at his nosy partner, yet it was nothing compared to his aching heart at the only person that mattered to him in his cursed life, his hope and promise to live in the present, Jaebum.

All Jaebum wished for was a normal life without manic or depressive episodes or the ty medicines he would take to keep him sane. It felt unfair to swallow the pills to live your days only after suffering from fatigue, nausea, and a dry mouth like you had never drank water in your life and all of that were described in a sentence as side effects.

‘How many years will take you to be finally free, Jaebumie? I’m so angry at the world, feeling helpless not to give you what you wish for.’ He couldn’t think out loud with Youngjae behind him so all he could do was to stay next to his friend like he would always do.

Four hours and forty-five minutes. The dark-haired boy’s anxious counting ended when Jaebum’s face scrunched with a handheld his heavy head, eyes still closed. 

In an instant, Jinyoung stood up in relief. “Nauseous?” he gently asked, supporting his friend’s broad shoulder to rest against the headboard.

The tattooed hand rubbed the boy’s eyes, his fingers covering the moles above his thick eyebrows before slowly opening his eyes. 

“I’m fine.” He answered with a thin smile, still adjusting his shaky vision. Jinyoung lowered himself to his friend’s level, flicking his forehead. His poor friend whined, rubbing the red spot.

“Ouch! What on earth, Jinyoung?” 

“How many did you take?” Jinyoung whispered with a worried mad glare that could kill. Jaebum swallowed, scanning the empty room.

“Youngjae is out, getting you food. How many, Lim Jaebum?” He was stern, with no chance of avoiding answers.

“Two. I broke the rule, sorry.” Jaebum answered apologetically.

Jinyoung shook his head, his jaw clenched to suppress his anger and disappointment. “Why?”

He watched his best friend’s fingers fidget on the cover, biting his lips nervously while avoiding his gaze. “My ex is here.”

“What? Who?” 

“Jennie, Jisoo’s roommate. Seeing her in front of me yesterday felt surreal with a rush of mixed emotions that I couldn’t handle. I never thought she would appear in my life again when I did all I could of pushing her away… She can’t be here; my parents will track her down and then eventually reach me… It’s messed up and I wasn’t ready and will never be.”

“Worry about yourself first, Jaebum-ah.” He whispered against his friend’s pierced ear; his arms wrapped around him for a tight comforting hug like it would take Jaebum’s pain away.

It hurt Jinyoung to see his best friend shaking with bottled-up feelings and teary eyes when he deserved nothing but happiness without an added headache in the form of a girl, another stranger.

.

.

.

.

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­­You are a smart girl, but so stupid.

It hit Jisoo in the core how stupid she was to care about her supposed rival. His voice stuck in her head all day long, leaving her confused if should be angry at how he cut her off or worried about what happened to make him sound like that.

‘You aren’t enough anywhere, Jisoo.’ She shook the ugly outcome of her insecurities, reminding herself that it wasn’t about her or something she could control. It was life’s play of making sure that you had bad days as much as good days like a nonsense card game.

The convenience store was less crowded than the last time she went with Jinyoung with his usual snacks newly restocked. Jisoo smiled sadly in front of the chips section filled with all the flavors they wanted before. It would have been a perfect day to celebrate the end of the hectic week instead of the stressful tension.

It was unintentional to buy two of everything, in her defense, she was too busy fighting her brain’s scolding. ‘Stop being dramatic.’

Jisoo held her starry night tote bag filled with late-night snacks that apparently would cover more than a night. She huffed, a little sad about how her plans for the day didn’t make it to the light. There was no coffee celebration spent the day editing a last-minute requirement, and even her mood swung with no hope of enjoying a cozy K-drama night on her bed. So, she found herself on her way to the rooftop that she hadn’t stepped onto since the incident that changed everything.

The rooftop door was opened as the chilly breeze blew her hair. The clear night sky was illuminated by the full moon and its scattered twinkling stars. The abandoned place needed a little care to spread love in return. 

‘Wouldn’t be nice to enjoy the scenery from time to time?’ She wondered, lost in the scenery’s beauty.  

­

An unfamiliar loud sigh almost gave her a panic attack. Jisoo turned in the direction of the sound to see the back of a very familiar person none other than Park Jinyoung. He was standing near the spot where their encounters intertwined a month ago, wearing his black hoodie with a hand resting on the edge and the other ruffling his hair.

Her mind screamed at her to back off, but something deeper supported her hesitant steps to him. Jinyoung was staring into nothingness, his eyes letting out silent helpless screams. 

“Hello, troubled playboy,” Jisoo said in a careful hushed tone, filling the space right next to him. He flinched, turning to her in surprise. 

“Jisoo.” He called her name as if it was a reality check that once it proved true, he was back to his emotionless face with eyes full of unspoken stories to tell, the same dark eyes Jisoo found it hard to break the intense gaze with. She hated the lines he drew, breaking his promise of helping each other until the truce end date.

“The truce isn’t over yet. You can’t decide if I can be by your side or not.” She thought out loud, lightly nudging him with her bag.

His mouth opened to say something but closed again in defeat. She didn’t give him a chance, knocking him to the ground with force, before lying next to him. “Jisoo, What’s wrong with you? I told you I don’t need you---” 

This time it was her turn to cut him off, throwing a bag of chips at him. “I know my help isn’t magic that turns everything into flowers. At least let me stay there by your side to stare at the moon while sharing unhealthy snacks without working to find a solution, fighting, or even speaking… Just a comfort from a stranger sitting beside you, not leaving you alone.”

Jinyoung didn’t respond, looking up at the sky with Jisoo following him both silently wishing the skies for happiness and peace and other different thousand wishes.

‘You have no idea how bad it gets.’ 

Jinyoung felt his heart down his feet with Jaebum’s words in mind as his trembling hands clenched on the orange cylinder filled with pills that he stumbled upon once he pushed the opened door. His shaky legs made it to the long-haired boy who was sprawled on his bed.

“Jaebum.” He called his friend, patting his friend’s back carefully. “Jaebum, you stupid . Wake up.” His patting turned into shakes as he rolled his friend over his back.

“Jaebum,” he yelled, pushing back the sudden rush of the worst cases scenarios. With another violent shake, his best friend opened his eyes weakly, looking at him numbly. 

“Good, stay with me,” Jinyoung begged, looking for a bottle of water. He opened it with his shaky hand while his arm supported the back of Jaebum’s head. The water slid into the shivering boy’s dry mouth as some drops ran from his jaw and neck to his t-shirt. 

“Jinyoung, what are you doing here?” Ignoring Youngjae’s question, he took off his friend’s shoes before covering him with a blanket. 

“Is he okay?” Youngjae his voice filled with worry as he got closer to check on Jaebum himself. Jinyoung closed his eyes before turning to the annoying roommate of his friend. 

“He is fine. Go to your classes or something.” 

“I’m not going anywhere; he is obviously sick.” 

“Youngjae, it isn’t the time to argue over this.” 

“You think I believe your lies? What are you hiding?” It was the first time to see Youngjae angry without his annoying wide smile, irritated. 

Jinyoung knew that was coming. The strangers would have questions that needed unwanted answers they had been desperately hiding. The lies should have been in his mind to save him from the demanding gaze on him but vanished within the million worries about Jaebum. 

The phone buzzed in his black ho