Home for Christmas

By Snapplelinz

Kyuhyun gazed at his surroundings with apprehension before finally deciding to smoke. He retrieved a cigarette from his trench coat, lit the end and took a long drag, the smoke curling and dancing to the back of his throat. If Seohyun could see him now, she'd probably scold him, considering he quit smoking years ago. But his wife had left him a year ago, so he could damn well do as he pleased.

Kyuhyun exhaled, streams of silvery smoke escaping his nostrils as his cheeks burned from the cold. It was Christmas Eve and the icy wind whistling through the trees made his limbs as stiff as if he was a statue. Considering where he stood now, surrounded by weeping angel statues hewn from marble, it seemed like a fitting description for his own body.

No one else was in the cemetery; since it was already evening and most people would prefer being at home with their families, this was unsurprising. Only Kyuhyun seemed to have no one to be with and nowhere to go, even if it was by choice.

He knew exactly what Seohyun would say to him if she were with him right now.

“Kyu,” she'd whisper, her delicately bare frame encased in billows of cloud-like white duvet. “Why do you always insist on walking around so late at night? I'm starting to think that you're a vampire.”

His chest tightened at the sound of her giggles that he could still hear inside his head, even now when she was no longer with him. He walked unsteadily towards the headstone wrought from black marble with its white engravings and rested a hand on the topmost part. The opulent stone made his skin freeze and stick to its surface as he read the inscription left there by a loving hand.

Seohyun leant over him while he composed a reply for an invitation to a mutual friend's wedding that they'd received. Her hands wrapped around Kyuhyun's shoulders while he sat hunched over his writing desk as she read what he wrote.

“You have such beautiful handwriting,” she murmured approvingly, laying a soft kiss on his right temple.

Kyuhyun grinned at this, his fountain pen sliding over the paper with ease. “I can put my fingers to better use than just using them for beautiful handwriting.”

“Really? How so?” Seohyun questioned, arching an eyebrow.

Kyuhyun set the pen down and Seohyun gasped in surprise when he pulled her closer so that she was now sitting in his lap with her back resting against the edge of the writing desk.

“Let me show you,” he whispered, his lips ghosting tantalisingly over her arched collarbone…

Silvery tears fell from Kyuhyun's eyes and froze on his cheeks as he recalled the way that Seohyun's breathy moans made his heart jump in his chest every time they made love. He missed the way she could hold his face in her small hands and kiss him so fervently till his every thought and memory dissolved right before his eyes, till all he could see and feel was her.

Missing her intensely was what had caused that ugly fight with his father hours ago:

“You can't keep doing this to yourself, Kyuhyun,” his father remonstrated. “It's not healthy.”

“And moving on is healthy?” How could his father possibly think that him dating again was even an option?

“Of course it is! Seohyun's gone, my boy. Not even a Christmas miracle is going to bring her back. She would want you to be happy, even if it's with someone else.”

Mr. Cho gave a start when his son slammed his fist hard against the adjacent wall, causing his wife's fine china resting on the credenza to rattle venomously in response.

Kyuhyun pounded his knuckles three more times against that same wall before burrowing his face deeper into the peeling plaster. “I'll never know what Seohyun would've wanted. Don't presume to think that you knew my wife better than I did.”

And then he was gone, snowflakes blowing through the front door left open with a sudden gust of wind.

After that unfortunate incident, Kyuhyun couldn't bring himself to spend Christmas with his family tomorrow. The past year had been nothing but palpitating heartache that had cut him to the quick and left him raw to the bone. He'd finally had enough of this ty place and everything in it; the only thing left to do was to say goodbye to the one person he still loved with all his heart.

Kyuhyun sobbed quietly as his fingers traced invisible circles around the white engraving that he'd first written on paper 12 months ago:

Here lies Seo Joohyun

Born: 28 June, 1991

Died: 25 December 2014

Beloved daughter, wife and sister.

“Death is but the next great adventure.”

Kyuhyun had agonised for a week over what quote to put on Seohyun's gravestone. In the end, he had chosen a quote from one of her favourite books; it had seemed fitting somehow, an eternal reminder of the incredible woman she once was. He put a bouquet of pink roses underneath Seohyun's headstone. They were always her favourite flowers.

“Jagiyah,” he whispered, wiping away at the tears that threatened to freeze on his cheeks from the cold. “I'm sorry I let you run out to E-mart to get cranberry sauce on Christmas Day last year. It's my fault you were driving when you got into that accident. I've tried my hardest to move on and be happy, but it's been so hard without you. You were everything to me and now every Christmas will be stained with sadness. So I'm giving up and going off on my own. My first stop is that camping trip we planned to do two years ago. Whatever happens, please stay close to me always. I love you so much, Joohyun-ah.”

Kyuhyun kissed his fingertips and pressed it against the cold headstone. Then he started walking away with thick clumps of snow slapping against his long overcoat. He made it back to the main road where he'd left his car and noticed a strange sight. A group of rowdy men were hovering around something or someone, laughing and jeering. When a gap emerged in their tight circle, Kyuhyun saw a young woman hunched over and flinching away from the men taunting her.

It made the blood boil in Kyuhyun's veins. His mother and sisters had always taught him to treat women with dignity and respect; it was something that Seohyun had loved and admired about him too, especially when he readily came to her defence or that of her female friends.

Without thinking twice about it, he stalked over to the group of men taunting the young woman without a thought for his own safety.

“Hey!”

The man closest to the woman looked up impatiently and stared at person intruding on his merriment. “Who the hell are you?”

“What are you doing to her?”

“Having some fun. Now mind your damn business.”

“It is my business if you're trying to assault this woman.”

The leader of the group didn't like this one bit as he stalked menacingly towards Kyuhyun. The woman winced and squinted through fearful eyes as the man harassing her leant in till he and the stranger were practically nose to nose.

“And just who do you think you are? Some kind of narc?” the hulking man sneered.

“I'm no narc,” Kyuhyun asserted. “But you need a lesson on how to treat a woman properly.”

Just as the man snarled and moved his beefy fist forward, Kyuhyun ducked clumsily out of the way and retrieved something out of his trench coat. The hulking man jumped back in horror when he realised that Kyuhyun had pulled a gun on him.

Even the woman being rescued emitted a shaky, startled breath.

“Whoa,” one of the other cronies murmured.

Kyuhyun was scared out of his wits, but he maintained a stoic posture as he kept his gun pointed at a space between the man's eyes. “I'm just going to say this once: get lost before I give you a facelift, free of charge.”

The man trembled ever so slightly, his eyes watering from watching the way the gun was trained on a vulnerable part of his body. “Yo, put that gun down and fight like a man!”

Kyuhyun laughed and cocked the hammer in place. “No thanks. I'm not in the mood to fight fair.”

“You heard him, let's bail.” the leader of the group said at last to his cronies. He scowled one last time at Kyuhyun before they all walked away with a begrudging air.

When he was sure they were gone, Kyuhyun dropped his stance and heaved a huge sigh of relief, the cold air escaping his lungs like smoke from a chimney. But when he saw how freaked out the young woman was by the sight of the gun in his hand, he hastened to put it away quickly. Then he approached her slowly, both hands held in the air in a posture of surrender.

“I'm sorry I had to do that,” he began in earnest. “It was the only way to get rid of those guys without getting my kicked in the process.”

The woman was breathing so hard hard, Kyuhyun was worried she was having a panic attack. Without warning, she started laughing her head off till the tears ran from her eyes.

“Oh my God, that was so insane! I think you're more dangerous than those idiots!”

Kyuhyun quirked a nervous smile at the young woman's demeanour. There was something refreshing about the way she could laugh so naturally after almost being attacked by a bunch of thugs. It almost made him feel better about his life.

“Hey, um...are you ok, Miss?” he ventured nervously when it didn't seem like the woman wouldn't stop laughing.

“I'm fine. And it's not 'Miss', just Sooyoung. I'm Sooyoung, and I owe you my life.”

A hand soon enveloped his and Kyuhyun suddenly felt warm all over just from that lone touch. It made him feel shy and awkward, like they were on a date instead of him possibly saving her life.

“Uh...Kyo Chuhyun. I mean, Cho Kyuhyun.”

Sooyoung giggled at this and Kyuhyun was surprised to discover that he liked the sound of her soft laughter.

“You're pretty cute for an old guy.”

“Ya! I'm only 27! How old are you then?” Kyuhyun demanded indignantly of the young woman.

“I'm 23,” Sooyoung answered in a flash.

“Ok then, dongsaeng,” Kyuhyun teased, which made Sooyoung glare at him. “I don't want to be presumptuous, but...you look kinda dead on your feet. Do you want to get something to eat together?”

Sooyoung deliberated on Kyuhyun's suggestion for a couple of seconds. After what had almost happened with those guys, she really had no business going anywhere with a strange man. But after the last few months, Choi Sooyoung had diverted completely from anything remotely normal. She couldn't explain it, but she got a good vibe from Cho Kyuhyun, like she could trust him.

“Ok,” she relented. “But just somewhere close by, alright? My dogs are barking hard,” she added in reference to her aching (and possibly smelly) feet.

Kyuhyun frowned in confusion at her choice of words, but followed her nonetheless.

*******************

The place Sooyoung chose for a meal was a small and cramped diner with dirty floors and rickety tables that squeaked every time you moved your utensils.

Kyuhyun ordered a cup of coffee and soup with a slice of French bread on the side. He watched in awe as Sooyoung attempted to inhale her hamburger and plate of curly fries right in front of him. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and laid his hand on top of Sooyoung's.

“Slow down, it's not an eating contest.”

Sooyoung gulped at his close proximity and hastily took her hand out of his, if only just to stop the sudden, erratic beating of her heart.

“I know that. I just really love eating, ok?”

Now that she had calmed down sufficiently and her life was no longer in danger, Kyuhyun soon discovered that Choi Sooyoung was loud, brash and unswervingly honest, sometimes for the worst. And now he learnt that she could possibly eat her entire body weight if given the chance.

“Sorry,” he apologised meekly. “It's just that you should be careful. You might choke on your food eating it like that.”

Sooyoung had been initially annoyed by the untimely interruption, now sniggered in amusement. “Wow. That sounds like something my mom would say.”

“Well, I didn't get that advice from my mom. My wife said that all the time.”

Kyuhyun stopped short when he realised what he had just admitted to. And it was made even worse when Sooyoung appeared intrigued by his revelation.

“Ooh, you're married? What is your wife like? Cool like me or stuffy like you?”

“Drop it,” Kyuhyun warned, his palms feeling prickly and hot thinking about Seohyun.

“I bet she's a total neat-freak if she's giving advice about how to eat,” Sooyoung pressed on, completely ignorant of Kyuhyun's inner turmoil. “Does she cut the crusts off your sandwiches too?”

Kyuhyun thumped his fist down hard onto the table, making his coffee cup rattle precariously. The other diner patrons gazed in horror in their direction and Sooyoung gulped nervously at the ferocious look on her saviour's face.

“Hey, I didn't mean-”

“Just shut up, ok?! Don't you dare talk about my dead wife.”

Once he stopped yelling, Kyuhyun's head slumped forward and he rested it against the cold surface of the table with a weary countenance.

“Jesus...” Sooyoung mumbled. “I was being a jerk, I'm really sorry.”

When Kyuhyun dared to lift his head up again, he was startled by the tears that had sprung up in Sooyoung's eyes. They weren't tears of sorrow or even of anger, only of unmistakeable pity. If it had been anyone else's face, Kyuhyun would've gladly thrown his coffee cup at their head just to stop them from feeling sorry for him. He'd dealt with enough of that for a whole year.

But somehow, he could sense that this girl's pity wasn't baseless or insincere, which had the effect of subtly calming down again. If nothing else, he could at least breathe easily and keep his dignity intact under the scrutiny of her handicapped sympathy.

“It's ok, you didn't know. I'm sorry for being an about it. It's just that...” Kyuhyun squeezed his fists till his nails dug into his skin. “I've only been widowed for a year, so it's still pretty raw for me talking about it. Of course, it doesn't help when I bring her up in conversations like she's still here-”

Sooyoung could see that Kyuhyun was about to chastise himself unfairly and interjected swiftly. “I hear it's normal to not feel like someone's gone just because they're dead. A year definitely isn't enough to sew the pieces of your broken heart back together.”

Something about her words brought an involuntary smile to Kyuhyun's lips. “Are you talking from experience, kid?” he scoffed, but without malice.

And instead of feeling offended, Sooyoung stuck out her tongue. “Shut up, I'm in college. Final year,” she announced proudly.

“Then you must be the only college student who isn't at home with their family the night before Christmas. Do you only celebrate the holidays in March?” Kyuhyun joked.

Sooyoung's smile vanished and she looked anywhere but at the man sitting across from her. “You're right, that is what college students do. But I can't go home right now.”

“Why not?”

“Because my parents hate me.”

“Why do your parents hate you?”

“I'm 3 months pregnant and they flipped their over it. So I left.”

Kyuhyun's heart plummeted into his chest at her unexpected words. Now it made more sense why she was alone on the streets on Christmas Eve. And it made him feel even less like a hero for upsetting her.

“Oh my gosh, I'm...I feel like an even bigger .” he apologised.

Sooyoung shrugged and popped another curly fry into . “Don't sweat it, you didn't knock me up.” she added in a bid to cheer him up.

“What about the father of the baby? Does he know?” Kyuhyun probed.

“He knows, but he doesn't care. The only tangible thing he asked me when he found out was when I was going to abort it.”

That statement made Kyuhyun angrier than he thought was possible after everything else that had happened tonight. He and Seohyun had tried for two years to have a baby and here was a pregnant woman in college and the guy who got her into trouble didn't want to share the responsibility.

“Bastard,” he quipped, but still loud enough for Sooyoung to hear.

“For that, you get to have some of my curly fries,” Sooyoung praised. It was no small thing for her to share food, so she already held Cho Kyuhyun in high esteem.

“And your parents kicked you out?” To any onlooker, the act of Kyuhyun reaching over and taking a curly fry off Sooyoung's plate and popping it into his mouth would've seemed like the most natural thing in the world. 

“No, but it was only a matter of time. They would probably make me leave college as a punishment and force me to give up my baby for adoption. It's not that I wouldn't consider the second part, but I hate having important things decided for me. We already weren't speaking while I was still in the house; I just couldn't take their looks of disappointment anymore. So I'm leaving this crumby town once and for all. Maybe I can get a job somewhere and re-apply to college again after I have the baby.”

“And that's your brilliant plan for the future?” Kyuhyun retorted.

“What would you suggest I do, Old Man?” Sooyoung shot back.

“Even if you keep the baby, you can't raise a baby on your own.”

“Says who? I lived on ramen noodles the second I got my baby teeth. I can do anything I set my mind to.”

“Yeah, but...you can't leave town before Christmas! Maybe your family's worried about you! You should be home with them.”

“Hey, you're also hanging out in a crappy diner on Christmas Eve. Why aren't you at home with your family?” Sooyoung demanded.

“I got into a fight with my dad trying to set me up on a blind date for the umpteenth time. I'm tired of feeling like my life is spinning out of control. So this is me taking a trip that my wife begged me to go on while she was still alive.”

“Good for you, maybe I'll join you.”

Sooyoung hiccoughed in surprise at her words and Kyuhyun coughed awkwardly. “My dad may be a moron sometimes, but I'm not going to stop talking to him over it. I'm going through a tough time right now, but when I finally start to feel better, I know I'm going to need my family around. I think you'll feel the same way too having a baby all by yourself. Think of your future kid too.”

“Maybe I'm saving my future kid from a lifetime of Dad putting on a Santa suit and knocking the Christmas tree over because he's piss-drunk. Or Mom always burning the Christmas cookies every single damn year! Even though their attempts at spreading joy are so misguided, they always tried so hard to make Christmas special for me and my siblings. And I managed to ruin that little bit of festive cheer by getting myself knocked up. So yeah, I am thinking about all that stuff and I feel that maybe...my family's better off without me around to screw everything up.”

Kyuhyun's eyes crinkled with sadness at the obvious pain in the college student's voice as she spoke. “For what it's worth, your family sounds totally nuts, but pretty cool all the same.”

Despite her tears, Sooyoung still smiled. “Yeah, they are. I can't believe I'm going to spend Christmas alone.”

Kyuhyun shook his head and got to his feet. “No you're not. Get up, let's go.”

“Where?” Sooyoung asked in confusion.

“I'm driving you back to your house so you can be with your family.”

“Kyu, I can't. My parents -”

“Will forgive you with time. If you don't try to mend fences right now, you might not have the courage to do it later. And I may not know you that well, but I do know that you'll regret not having your family in your life. If my wife was here right now, she'd say the same thing to you.”

Kyuhyun held out his hand to Sooyoung and prayed inwardly that she'd take it, along with the opportunity he was offering. Sooyoung stared at him for the longest time, wondering inwardly how her life had gotten so complicated, especially so close to the holiday season.

In the end, she sighed and took Kyuhyun's hand as she got to her feet.

“Son of a , I don't know how you talked me into this, Old Man.”

Kyuhyun smirked at this as he left a few banknotes on top of the table, feeling genuinely happy about something for the first time all evening.

********************

They got into Kyuhyun's car and what followed was lots of driving to get back to Sooyoung's home town. If the widow had known he'd be stuck on the road for hours, he might've thought twice before offering to be a gentleman.

While Sooyoung stared out the car window and made patterns with her fingers in the condensation forming on the glass, Kyuhyun thought more and more of Seohyun and the second Christmas he wouldn't be spending without her.

“I don't have to work this weekend,” Kyuhyun began, taking his reading glasses off to look at his wife. “So I think we should totally do the camping trip.”

Seohyun looked up while adding paprika to her home-made egg salad. “Really? You mean that”

“Of course. I feel bad that I've been working so hard lately and neglecting you.”

Seohyun smiled and walked around the kitchen counter and sat down next to her husband on the sofa. “Then I don't wanna go.”

Kuhyun stared aghast at her. “But, baby, you've wanted to go camping for ages.”

“And I still do. But you've been so stressed out with work lately, it's not the right time. One thing I'd like more than going camping is having my husband at home over the weekend for once and making he sure he rests properly.”

Kyuhyun closed his eyes and savoured the feel of Seohyun brushing her lips against his forehead. “I love you so much. But are you sure?” he asked anxiously after a few seconds of silence.

Seohyun smiled and ran her hands through his dishevelled hair. “I'm sure. Whenever we do finally go camping, I know that the journey will be long and sweet.”

A lump formed in Kyuhyun's throat. But despite his sadness, he felt a little better knowing that he was helping a stranger reunite with her family.

Sooyoung sat upright when Kyuhyun drove towards a familiar part of the freeway. “The exit's right there! Turn left.”

Kyuhyun did as she asked and they were soon travelling through a small, homely town. The snow had stopped falling hours ago, sprinkling the trees and rooftops in a thick, tumbling layer of brilliant white. Despite the fact that it was Christmas Day, Kyuhyun could see people walking on the streets and greeting each other, smiles and laughter dotting every single one of their faces.

The sight made Kyuhyun smile.

“Turn right down this road,” Sooyoung instructed, her voice strangely hoarse. They were getting closer to her family with every tense-filled second that ensued.

When they finally came to a stop, they were outside the double-storey house that resembled an igloo from the snow covering every surface and orifice. Grey smoke billowed from the chimney and the front door was decorated with a cheerful Christmas wreath made of holly and pine cones.

From the outside, it seemed like the perfect home. But as Kyuhyun cast a weary eye onto Sooyoung's barely-visible pregnant belly, he knew it was foolish to believe that any home was perfect.

Kyuhyun switched off the engine and he and Sooyoung got out of the car. When he saw how nervous Sooyoung looked, he hastened to interlace their hands.

“Whatever happens, it will all work out somehow,” he told her in an urgent whisper.

Before Sooyoung could answer, something extraordinary happened. One minute, it was just the two of them. The next, they were being bombarded by a horde of people from every side. And they all seemed to be crying and hugging Sooyoung.

“Sooyoung-ah!”

“My baby! She's home!”

“Unnie!”

“Noona!”

After letting go of her hand, Kyuhyun surmised that the four people hugging Sooyoung must be her family.

“Hello...everyone,” Sooyoung greeted awkwardly, feeling at a loss.

A small hand suddenly tugged at Kyuhyun's pants. He looked down and saw a little girl who looked remarkably like a younger version of Sooyoung staring up at him.

“Who's this?” the little girl asked.

“Oh, um, this is Cho Kyuhyun, Jisu. He drove me home.” Sooyoung explained.

Just when Kyuhyun expected to receive a scolding for intruding on such a private family moment, Sooyoung's mother grabbed him and hugged him tightly. “Thank you,” she whispered urgently in his ear.

“We're very grateful,” Sooyoung's dad added. “If it wasn't for you, we would've probably gone another two weeks without seeing our daughter.”

Kyuhyun rounded on the young college student in astonishment. “You've been missing for two weeks?!”

Sooyoung smiled sheepishly and faced her family. “I just came to say that I'm really sorry for disappointing all of you. I messed up, I never meant to hurt anyone. I just figured I'd tell you all that in person because it's Christmas and despite everything that's happened, I love you all very much. If you guys don't want to see me again after this, I understand completely.”

“Are you crazy?!” Sooyoung's younger brother scoffed. “Do you know how annoying Mom and Dad have been since you left? Calling the cops and crying every night? They wouldn't even let me take your room.”

“That's because it's your sister's room, you little rascal,” Mrs. Choi scolded sternly. “This will always be her home, no matter what she decides to do with her future, Geonho.”

“Mwuh?” Sooyoung asked quizzically.

Mr. Choi sighed and stepped forward. “Your mother and I were angry that you got pregnant. But when you left, we were so worried that something terrible happened to you. It made us regret our actions and we realised that what's most important to us is that you're healthy and safe. We're your parents and we love you...no matter what.”

Sooyoung let out a shuddering breath. And before Kyuhyun could blink, Sooyoung was hugging her parents and crying even harder than before.

“I love you all so much,” she sobbed, happy that Kyuhyun had convinced her to come home.

She remembered him again just as he was inching towards his car.

“Kyuhyun-ah.”

“I should get going. It was lovely to meet you all.”

“Please don't go,” Sooyoung begged. “I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for you. Stay.”

“She's right,” Mrs. Choi agreed, laying a hand on Kyuhyun's arm. “Please stay and have Christmas lunch with us.”

“Thank you very much for the kind offer, but I couldn't impose. I still have a long journey ahead of me...” Kyuhyun stammered.

“Nonsense,” Mr. Choi barked, hitting Kyuhyun hard on the shoulder. “Please spend the day with my family. I'd love to hear all about how you convinced this stubborn daughter of mine to come to her senses.” he added with a sly grin.

Kyuhyun chuckled appreciatively and glanced one last time at his car. As much as he would've preferred to be alone, he could hear Seohyun's voice in his head, urging him to reconnect with people again.

“It's time to be happy again, Jagiyah,” she whispered sweetly in his ear.

Kyuhyun in a breath and shook Mr. Choi's outstretched hand. “In that case, I'd love to have Christmas with your family.”

He and Sooyoung shared a smile and Kyuhyun walked into the Choi's home, re-embracing Christmas and all its wondrous benignity once again.

The End.

The death quote on Seohyun's tombstone is a reference from 'The Deathly Hallows', the 7th Harry Potter novel by J.K. Rowling.