Special Girl

By Snapplelinz

Seohyun was the only one still in the dorm on that wintry day in December. The other girls were out visiting their families and doing some last-minute Christmas shopping in-between SNSD and TTS promotions. Sooyoung and Yuri had hung back, but gone downstairs to throw snowballs at each other. They'd asked Seohyun to join them, but the maknae had politely refused.

Her mind was too distracted and clouded with worry. Even the sight of snow crystallising like glittering diamonds on the misted up windows wasn't enough to brighten her mood. Everything in her life felt dull and meaningless ever she'd disappeared without a word.

“Cheer up, Seohyun-ah,” she'd said a few weeks ago when Seohyun could barely sleep while preparing for TTS' first performance of 'Dear Santa' on Mnet Countdown. “I know you're going to do a great job. Whatever happens, I am always on your side.”

She had always been on her side, lingering in the background and cheering Seohyun on when training and being in one of the most successful Kpop groups became too much to handle. It made Seohyun wonder how she managed to put on a bright smile and do exactly what she did every single day.

“How do you deal with all of this?” Seohyun had asked her one day after both girl groups had practised their dance choreography together for SM Town months ago.

She'd been drenched in sweat from head to toe and she looked just as exhausted as the maknae felt after practising the same moves 5 times in a row. And still she was smiling and encouraging her group members to do their best.

“Because I get to see you every day, Juhyun,” she answered with simplicity, leaving Seohyun's mind (and heart) in a state of bewilderment.

She couldn't understand how one person could have this effect on her after years of denying even the possibility of the two of them. Seohyun still remembered the day that she'd finally confessed what the maknae suspected she'd felt for her all along.

“I like you, Seohyun,” she began with a low tremor in her voice. The maknae was struck by the way her hands were folded and her fingers intertwined like spindly vines of deliberation. “I know you don't feel the same way, but...I just had to tell you once. Even on the tough days with being an idol, being with you and knowing you made it easier and sweeter somehow. I want to thank you for that.”

“Sunyoung-ah,” Seohyun said, fear settling in her bones. “Please don't fall in love with me.”

Luna had just looked at her with a bright smile and sad eyes when she replied with 'It's not up to you, unnie. It's not even up to me anymore.”

Seohyun wished she'd been firmer, if only just to spare the girl any further heartbreak. But she'd never been good when dealing with emotions, especially those of someone who thought the world of you. All she'd ever wanted was to sing and play music; that listless dream had brought her this far in life and carried her when all other chances of happiness had been left behind in the wake of her unflinching ambition.

Luna had still treated her the same way, even after confessing her feelings. That only served to make Seohyun more weary and guilty every time they were near one another. The last time she'd seen her had been two weeks ago when SME had hosted a Christmas party at their building in Apgujeong-Rodeo for their idols.

They'd done Secret Santa, pulled open Christmas crackers and even drunken eggnog. Seohyun still remembered when Luna had approached her, wearing a Santa hat and holding a present in her hand. It was the first time she'd spoken to her all of that night and it hadn't gone unnoticed by Seohyun. She'd become much too accustomed to having Luna's undivided attention.

Luna handed Seohyun the neatly wrapped Christmas present, dimples appearing on her cheeks as she smiled. “This is for you.”

“Oh...” Seohyun was at a loss of how to respond to the fact that Luna had gone out of her way to buy her a gift. “Thank you, Sunyoung. But I didn't get you anything,” she stammered.

Luna chuckled and Seohyun relished at the low and rich tenor that accompanied it. “You already gave me so much more than this, Juhyun.”

There was mistletoe hanging above their heads, so Seohyun really should have seen what was coming.

The f(x) vocalist leant in close and pressed a simple, unadorned kiss on Seohyun's cheek. It had left a trail of scorching fire on Seohyun's skin and later in her mind the more she thought on it.

“Promise me that you'll always remember me just like this,” Luna murmured with sad eyes. And then she was gone.

Seohyun surmised that it was Luna's way of telling her what was happening without saying anything. The news of her sudden hiatus hit the following day, when Seohyun had woken up with a spring in her step and a sudden determination to ask Luna to have coffee with her. She'd walked into SME with the paparazzi swarming around the building and the other members of f(x) looking vulnerable and out of place without their power vocalist by their side.

“Luna,” Seohyun whispered, her breath floating like mist against the living room window.

If she had known that would be the last time she'd see the sprightly singer, she would've said more and done anything to keep her by her side a little longer.

She'd tried calling Luna, texting her, emailing her and even following her Instagram. But all of her social media had gone eerily quiet, like she didn't want to be found. The latest statement that their CEO had put out was that Luna was taking some time off to recover from a sudden illness and spend time with her family over the holidays.

But Seohyun knew better.

She'd driven Luna to this.

She couldn't return Luna's feelings and she had run away.

It was her fault.

A salty tear escaped the maknae's eye as she thought on all the things she would've done differently if she'd only thought to open her heart.

It had been two weeks of sleepless nights and staring off into space while Seohyun thought of all of hers and Luna's moments together in SME. Before the Christmas party, Seohyun caught sight of the younger girl catching Victoria around the neck and shoving a headband with antler ears on them onto her head. Even when everything had gone pear-shaped with Sulli leaving f(x) months ago, Luna had been resillient in keeping her group members' spirits up, especially as Christmas rapidly approached.

Seohyun remembered staying frozen in place and smiling as she watched Victoria and Luna engage in that friendly wrestling match. In all her life, she'd never witnessed anything sweeter. And yet, it left a decided pang in her chest when she realised that Luna's affections (albeit platonic in that instance) were still directed at someone else.

How could she have been so clueless this entire time?

She was shaken from her reverie at the sound of Jessica and Tiffany coming through the front door with none other than Krystal in tow. All three women were carrying mountains of shopping bags and their cheeks were flushed from the icy wind outside; still, they looked like they'd been having the time of their lives.

“Seohyun-ah!” Tiffany greeted, her eye-smile activating as she hugged the maknae tightly.

Seohyun couldn't help grinning just a little at her band members' exuberant display of affection. “Fany-ah, you saw me an hour ago.”

“I know, but I'm just so happy that Christmas is almost here!” Tiffany gushed, twirling around on the spot.

Jessica rolled her eyes at the kooky American. “Don't mind her, Juhyun. She would've started hugging random strangers on the streets if I hadn't stopped her.”

“You only stopped me because you're a meanie!”

“Yah!”

Krystal giggled at the two friends bickering playfully with one another. “Are you ok, Seohyun? You seem sad.”

Seohyun gave a start when she realised how intently Krystal was staring at her. “Oh, I'm fine, just tired.”

“I'm surprised you're still here at the dorm with the girls. I thought you'd be home with your family already.” Krystal probed.

“My flight back home is in two days.” Seohyun informed her.

“So...no loose ends to tie up here before you go?”

The two maknaes of their respective groups gazed at one another for the longest time.

“Soojung-ah,” Seohyun began tentatively. “You wouldn't happen to know where Luna is, do you?”

Krystal shrugged in an infuriatingly nonchalant manner while Jessica started whacking Tiffany with a pillow in the background. “I might know where she is,” she finally conceded.

Seohyun stepped forward and gripped Krystal's forearm. “Soojung, please. You have to tell me.”

“Why so concerned all of a sudden?”

Krystal had stepped out of Seohyun's grasp and the SNSD member saw a look of stern warning filtering through the younger girl's brown eyes. Seohyun sighed and bowed her head. “You know how Luna feels about me.”

Krystal nodded in response. “We've shared a bedroom before, so it was bound to come up.”

“I have to see her.”

“Why?”

“Because...” Seohyun's hands shook as she tried to hold them steady at her sides. “I need to tell her I'm sorry and that...I feel the same way.”

“Who feels the same way?” Tiffany piped up while Jessica had her in a headlock and attempted to give her a noogie.

“Seohyun has a crush on Luna.” Krystal informed her sister and band-member.

“Mwuh? Since when?” Jessica demanded, letting go of Tiffany's head.

“Since...now,” Seohyun said truthfully, her head spinning from this sudden revelation.

“Well, it's about time,” Krystal declared, slapping Seohyun hard on the back. “You'd better go and tell her.”

“I'd love to, but I don't know where she is.”

“She's feeding squirrels by the pond near here.”

Seohyun stared at the youngest Jung sister, who was smirking mischievously at her. “And she's been there the whole time we've been talking?”

“Hmm, pretty much.”

“Better put on your scarf, Juhyun. It's freezing outside.” Tiffany warned.

“No time! Thanks, Krystal!” Seohyun greeted, skidding past Tiffany and out through the front door.

Tiffany shook her head while watching her TTS band-mate's progress. “Pabo,” she mumbled, grinning happily.

Seohyun ran smack bam into Yuri and Sooyoung, whose clothes were drenched with melted snow.

“Maknae, come join our epic battle!” Yuri boomed.

“Can't right now, guys. Maybe later.”

“Yah! Where's your jacket?!” Sooyoung called after her as a new series of snowflakes began falling from the heavens. “What's gotten into her?” the giantess asked of her friend.

Yuri shrugged and gathered up a clump of snow, which she soon mashed into a ball. “No idea. Maybe someone stole her Sergeant Keroro plushie.”

“I bet it was Yoona,” Sooyoung agreed, screaming a second later when Yuri pelted her with her freshly made snowball.

Seohyun had to stop herself from sliding across the slippery ground a few times as she jogged towards the park where Krystal said Luna might be. Would she make it in time to see her?

Snowflakes fell on her hair and in her face as she came to a stop. The pond in question had frozen weeks ago and the grass was covered by a thick layer of white snow.

Seohyun caught sight of a figure wrapped in a thick jacket, skinny jeans, polka dot wellingtons and a muffler wrapped around the face. He or she had what looked like a paper bag in their hand and was trying to coax a fat squirrel to come down from a tree above them.

“Here, little squirrel. Come down for Sunyoung-unnie, she's got a lovely treat for you.” the figure cooed over and over.

Seohyun's heart leapt in her chest and she smiled brightly as she approached the figure. “Sunyoung.”

The figure froze and removed the thick muffler from their face to stare at SNSD's maknae. It was Luna and her cheeks were suffused with bright red from the cold, her long brown hair tucked into a beanie she wore on her head. Seohyun couldn't remember a time before this when the K-pop singer had looked lovelier.

“Omo, Juhyun-unnie. What are you doing here?” Luna gasped in awe.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Luna's cheeks reddened from blushing really hard. “I like coming here to feed the animals and think about things. Since Christmas is around the corner, it felt like an auspicious occasion.”

“Jeongmal?” Seohyun asked in a low murmur. “Is there any other reason you came here today?”

Luna looked politely confused, which just made her even more alluring to SNSD's maknae. “What other reason would I have? Oh...you don't think...did you think that I'm here for you?”

“It would make sense on some level.”

“How would it make sense? I'm here to feed the squirrels!”

Seohyun was only joking, but it was priceless watching the way Luna pouted at her teasing. She was just too adorable for words.

“You're really mean, you know that?” Luna asked.

“How am I mean?” Seohuyn questioned, smirking just a little to show Luna that she wasn't being serious.

But Luna was no longer smiling, but looking extremely weighed down and sombre. “I liked you for such a long time and really did my best to forget all about you and move on. Now you're here in front of me and I just can't...”

Seohyun's eyes welled up with unshed tears and she stepped closer to Luna till there was zero space between them. Tiny snowflakes kept falling all around them, lining their cheeks with crystalline splendour.

Luna gasped when Seohyun put her hands tentatively on her face and cupped it delicately. “Sunyoung-ah, I'm so sorry for hurting you. When you confessed to me, I was confused and didn't know how to feel. This special woman told me these wonderful things and I had no clue how to begin reciprocating them. But the truth is that I do feel what you feel, every single part; I just didn't know how much I felt until you disappeared. You were very mean for doing that to me, especially when I tried everything to get in touch with you.” she murmured, shedding a few tears as she spoke.

Luna sobbed too and stared miserably down at the snow-covered ground beneath their feet. “I thought that if I could leave you for a little while, then maybe I could take back my heart from you too.”

“Do you know how worried I was about you?” Seohyun whispered urgently, secretly revelling in the fact that she could smooth out the flyaway-strands of Luna's hair that poked out from underneath her beanie with her fingers.

“You were worried about me?” Luna hardly dared to believe that this was real, especially the burning look in Seohyun's eyes that swept through her veins like hot coals of desire.

Seohyun smiled wryly, her fingers tugging at the lapels of Luna's coat as she straightened out the collar. “I was beside myself, wishing that you could be next to me just like always. Even if you magically stopped caring for me in that way.”

“That's not possible. You're like a drug to me, Juhyun-ah; or just a delicious illness I never wanted to recover from.”

“And what is this so-called 'illness' that you have?”

“Love sickness,” Luna answered, smiling sheepishly.

“What a coincedence,” Seohyun began, inching closer and closer to Luna as the snow fell down on top of them. “I have that too.”

“Chincha? Who's the lucky person?”

“It's you. But I'm the one who feels pretty lucky.”

Luna's heart leapt into when Seohyun's lips were just a breath apart from hers. Was this really happening? Even if it was just a dream, she hoped she wouldn't wake up any time soon.

“Juhyun-ah,” she murmured, in a breath while Seohyun rubbed their noses together in an Eskimo kiss. “Are you sure you're not just affected by the holiday season?”

“You're the only thing that affects me now, Luna. And I wouldn't change it or you for anything.”

With that, SNSD's maknae threw caution to the wind and fused their lips together. Luna kept her eyes open for a few seconds, moving uncertainly at first. But soon, her body followed the gait of her heart as she finally closed her eyes and gave vent to months (or perhaps it was even years) of unrequited solitude as she wrapped her hands tightly around Seohyun's back. Every kiss they traded and bartered for was sweet and unhurried, whispers of love promised in every trailing breath.

When Seohyun pulled away, it was only to shiver from the cold, since she hadn't put her jacket on.

“Omo, where is your coat?” Luna questioned in alarm.

Seohyun chuckled abashedly. “I left it upstairs. Krystal told me where you might be and I just had to see you, I didn't care if I froze to death doing it.”

Luna was inwardly pleased by Seohyun's sweet gesture, but still felt the need to chastise her like any ahjumma twice their age would do. “Aigoo, your body is still more important than your hormones, Seo Juhyun. Let's get you upstairs and drinking a hot cup of green tea.”

And just like that, Luna assumed the role of 'unnie' and wrapped her coat around both their shoulders as they walked back to SNSD's dorm together. Seohyun still left two days later to spend Christmas with her family. But it was with a heavy heart after she and Luna spent those precious 48 hours together before her flight.

Luna too went back home to be with her family. But she and Seohyun Skyped multiple times and chatted on kakaotalk endlessly throughout the holidays. And when the last day of 2015 arrived, they met up at Hangang Park and shared a romantic midnight kiss on New Year's Day.

Seohyun had never imagined before how right it could feel to be with Luna and open up her heart completely. But she didn't regret it once, simply because Luna had been there all along to help show her the way to brighter days.

Luna was and always would be that special girl to her. The one who had her heart.

The End.