The next morning, that loving warmness that Jaebum loved waking up to was back. He opened his eyes drowsily to see Youngjae still in his arms, fast asleep. Part of Jaebum wanted to just stay there and watch Youngjae sleep, but they had a music show today. Releasing Youngjae from his grasp, he got out of bed. He’d let the younger sleep a little bit longer, considering the rough night he went through.

“Good morning,” Jinyoung grinned as Jaebum left his room. “How’s Youngjae?”

“He’s fine.” A pause. “I think. He should be.”

Jinyoung seemed to want more details by the way he bit his lip and raised his eyebrows.

Jaebum sighed, walking towards the kitchen. “What is it?”

“You were holding him again,” Jinyoung said quietly, following Jaebum and spinning him around to face him once the boy had grabbed an apple from the fridge. “Did you tell him? You know...that you…”

Jaebum understood why the boy was so restless now. A smirk appeared on his face as Jinyoung’s ears turned a shade of pink. He took a bite into his apple, walking away from the kitchen and sitting on their sofa. Once again, Jinyoung followed.

“And if I did tell him? Would you be jealous?”

Jinyoung scoffed at this accusation. “Quit flattering yourself. If anything I’d be jealous of you for getting to date a guy like Youngjae.”

This caused Jaebum’s smirk to turn into a frown. “Alright, alright,” He muttered, taking another bite of his apple. “I didn’t tell him about my feelings just yet. We just aren’t fighting anymore.” After a silence, Jaebum looked at the time. “I should go wake him up. We have a busy day.”

“Will you use tongue?” Jinyoung smirked.

“What do you mean?”

Jinyoung puckered his lips, teasing Jaebum.

Jaebum coughed, turning bright red. “Yah!” He yelled, throwing the apple at Jinyoung, causing Jinyoung to burst out laughing as Jaebum disappeared into his room.

“Youngjae,” Jaebum said softly, entering and sitting on the edge of their shared bed and patting his legs. “Time to get up.” He knew he was being delusional. There was no way Youngjae would wake up from the simplest touch. Crawling closer to the younger and sitting next to him, he sat Youngjae up and patted his back. “Wake up.”

Youngjae was wearing an oversized t-shirt, like he usually did, and normally it didn’t bother Jaebum. But as the shirt fell down the younger’s shoulders, Jaebum couldn’t help but admire the boy’s pale skin. It was beautiful. Youngjae didn’t like it however, and wished he had darker skin. Jaebum didn’t mind what his skin looked like. Pale or dark, Jaebum thought Youngjae was beautiful. So without being able to stop, Jaebum kissed the soft shoulders belonging to the younger.

And of course, it woke Youngjae up.

“Jaebum,” Youngjae groaned, confused. Jaebum backed away quickly, eyes wide open.

“Youngjae!”

“Good morning.”

Did he not feel it? Did I not get caught? Feeling guilty, Jaebum quickly crawled out of the bed, the tip of his ears red. Why’d he have to do that? Was he even thinking? What if he got caught? How would Youngjae react? You’re an idiot, Jaebum. Is Youngjae that irresistible?

...

Yes.

Their schedule was growing packed, which meant Jaebum was hardly going to get the chance to talk to Youngjae. They’d be too busy working, too busy practicing, that they would drift. It happened all the time. It was a normal thing, more like a routine to them. However, they didn’t think that it was necessarily a bad thing. Sure, they were drifting from each other, but they were doing it for the fans. They would do anything for the fans. This is what they signed up for. The fans, however, didn’t sign up for anything, and could leave at any time. To keep them interested, they had to be better and better.

And normally, Jaebum was 100% on board with this. But now, with Youngjae just forgiving him, and with his own feelings just being realized, Jaebum didn’t think it was the right time for them to drift. If they drifted, if he wasn’t already, Youngjae might just move on, and Jaebum would have discovered that he loved the younger too late.

So, after they were done performing for their music core, Jaebum grabbed Youngjae by his arm, dragging him into the bathroom.

“Jaebum-”

“Don’t talk for a moment.”

Silence. Jaebum looked at the younger, admiring every detail. Being in such a tight space alone together, Youngjae’s cheeks slightly turned pink. Jaebum missed seeing him blush. He brought his hand to Youngjae’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over his eye-mole.

“What are you doing?” Youngjae finally mustered out, the silence and the way Jaebum was looking at him killing him.

“I just wanted to say hi,” Jaebum said softly. “I wanted us to be alone for a moment.”

Youngjae’s ears turned a shade of bright red. Why was Jaebum acting like this all of a sudden? Wanting to escape, Youngjae backed away and against the wall of the bathroom.

“We should get going. We have an interview…”

Jaebum could have stayed in that bathroom forever, if it meant the two of them could be alone. He was thinking about confessing right there and then, admitting everything - but he couldn’t. Not now. Not in a bathroom. But, he couldn’t let Youngjae get over him so easily.

“Youngjae can you promise me something?”

“What?”

He walked towards the boy against the wall, making sure there was only inches between their bodies. “Love me a little longer. Wait for me a little longer. I have something to tell you. But not now. Not here.”

And then Jaebum left, a smile on his face, but regret in his stomach. He could have either just ended it all, or started it all.

Youngjae had to splash some water on his face before following after the older.

And that week went by rather fast, except to Youngjae it felt like a million years. He was dying on the inside, wondering what Jaebum was going to say to him. He hadn’t properly talked to him in days, besides the typical “hello” and “goodnight.”

Jaebum noticed Youngjae’s antsyness too, and almost felt guilty for making him wait so long. He had to tell Youngjae, however, no matter how nervous he felt afterwards. If Youngjae moved on during the time that they wouldn’t talk, Jaebum didn’t know what he’d do.

And finally, when their schedule slowed down and the members could reunite, Jaebum knew it was time. It was snowing outside for the first time of the year, and Jaebum couldn’t think of a better time to confess.

“Youngjae,” He whispered, shaking the younger from his sleep. “It’s snowing. Come on.”

Youngjae woke up rather fast at the sound of “snow” and saw that Jaebum was hovering in front of him. His heart skipped a beat. Was it time? Was Jaebum going to say the words he’d been meaning too? Would he finally be able to stop biting at his fingernails?

Jaebum held out his hand, helping Youngjae out of the bed, and dragged him outside into the cold, without even thinking to give him a jacket. Youngjae didn’t seem phased though, considering his eyes were only focused on the snow and the fact that Jaebum was just holding his hand.

“It’s beautiful,” Youngjae whispered, looking up at the sky and holding out his hand to catch the snowflakes.

Jaebum smiled, looking at the younger. He had incredible bedhead and was barefaced, but Jaebum swore he’d never seen someone look so beautiful. Youngjae was smiling widely, his eyes bright at the sight of snow, and Jaebum just couldn’t wait anymore.

“I love you,” Jaebum muttered out, his eyes focused on Youngjae’s reaction.

Jaebum had said I love you to Youngjae before. But this time, Youngjae knew he meant something much more. Moving his glance from the sky and onto Jaebum, his mouth parted into an “o” shape. Had he heard those words correctly?

“I love you,” Jaebum said again, with more force to show he meant it. “I love you, Youngjae.”

Youngjae couldn’t find the words to say, so he let Jaebum continue.

“I didn’t realize it before. Jinyoung made me realize it, actually. I don’t know if you’ve moved on or not, or if I’ve completely blown it with you and you want nothing to do with being with me, but-”

“I love you too,” Youngjae cut him off. And although he was starting to feel freezing due to the fact he was in nothing but an oversized t-shirt, his entire body felt warm. Maybe from blushing, or maybe due to the fact that the one person he’s ever loved loves him back, he didn’t know.

Jaebum couldn’t hold back his smile. “Yeah?”

Youngjae nodded.

“I’m not too late after all…” Jaebum whispered. And it was only then he realized Youngjae wasn’t wearing a jacket. Not saying a word and quickly fumbling off his jacket, he put the jacket around the younger's shoulders, tucking him in, not even caring that now he, too, was wearing nothing but a t-shirt.

“It’s just that…” Youngjae started, stopping Jaebum in his tracks. “I don’t know if I can accept your feelings…You see, you really hurt me-”

Jaebum’s face had dropped dead. No. This couldn’t be happening.

But then, at seeing the older’s face, Youngjae began to laugh.

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding,” Youngjae breathed out, as Jaebum let out a sigh of relief and then grabbed the younger by his neck, pulling him into a forceful hug. “I’m sorry,” Youngjae began to laugh again, and although Jaebum had a mini heart attack at the younger’s words, a smile was rested on his face.

But then the laughs stopped, and they stood there like that, Youngjae’s head resting on Jaebum’s chest, Jaebum’s tight arms around Youngjae. It got quiet, and all they could hear was the sound of each other breathing and maybe, if they weren’t just being crazy, the sound of each other’s heart racing. Jaebum rested his head onto Youngjae’s, his eyes looking up at the sky as the snow landed on his eyelashes.

“What does this mean?” He finally asked.

Youngjae hummed in response.

Jaebum loosened his grip on Youngjae, moving his body away slightly and looking down at the boy, who looked up at him with big eyes filled with life. Filled with love.

Jaebum let out a sigh, shivering slightly as he kissed the top of Youngjae’s head.

“You missed,” Youngjae suddenly said, a teasing pout on his face.

“Hmm?”

And then, Youngjae closed his eyes, allowing Jaebum’s common sense to figure out what he meant. And of course, Jaebum did. His ears turned red, partially because of the cold, mainly because of Youngjae. Slowly leaning in, Jaebum pecked Youngjae’s lips playfully and backed away. They had kissed before, but for some reason, Jaebum was feeling shy.

“Again,” Youngjae initiated, this time, leaning up to kiss the older with more force, making it last longer. When Jaebum pulled away, Youngjae shook his head. “Again.”

And Jaebum listened, this time gaining more confidence. More neediness. He cupped Youngjae’s face, and touched his lips with Youngjae’s, feeling electricity sparking through him as their lips moved perfectly in sync. The both of them had wanted this for so long, and with a mixture of love and lust, Youngjae slipped his tongue into the older’s mouth, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close.

Jaebum was surprised, but he wanted it too, and didn’t plan on pulling Youngjae away, even if that meant suffocating. It’d be the most perfect way to go.

But in the end, it was Youngjae that broke the kiss, leaving out a breathy sigh as he pulled away.

They didn’t speak for a moment, taking in all that just happened.

“We should go in…” Jaebum finally said, rubbing his arms due to the cold. “It’s getting late.”

“Yeah,” Youngjae replied, a little too quickly.

It was impossible for them to sleep that night, lying next to each other in their shared bed, their backs facing each other.

But even though the sun was beginning to come up and bags rested under their eyes, smiles didn’t leave their faces.

Finally, they both thought. Finally.

--

this is so bad im sorry D: !! i hope u enjoy it nevertheless. i'm trying to get back into writing since all i've been doing is watching dramas...oops. love u all, thanks for the support <3 - jj