Jaebum wasn’t sure whether to go after or to stay away from the boy now that he was aware of his feelings. Loving Youngjae was sweeter than candy, but a one-sided love with Youngjae was as painful as a knife cutting the heart.

Youngjae had finally started sleeping in the same bed as Jaebum again, but he always clawed Jaebum’s hands off whenever he tried to wrap his arms around him like he usually would. Of course this made Jaebum annoyed, but he understood. Youngjae was angry with Jaebum, even if he pretended not to be. He was angry at him for rejecting him. So Jaebum would wait. He would wait until he was forgiven.

“Can I talk to you?”

It threw him off guard. Youngjae looked at the elder, who was leaning in the bathroom doorway, a smile painted on his face.

“Yeah,” Youngjae nodded, looking back into the mirror and fixing his hair. “What is it? Oh, and make it quick. I’m going out while I can.”

Jaebum seemed dejected at Youngjae’s quick dismiss, but he had to have patience with him. Deciding he’d tell Youngjae what he needed to later, Jaebum changed the subject.

“You’re not going to practice, right?”

Youngjae groaned at the concern in Jaebum’s voice. Jaebum had been mothering him lately, and it bothered him. He wanted things to back to normal. So what if he overworked himself one time? He wasn’t going to do it again.

“No,” Youngjae told him. “But if I was you wouldn’t have the right to stop me. It’s been a week. Get over it. It’s not like I can stop practicing. I’m just going out with Jackson.”

“Okay,” Jaebum smiled softly. “Have fun. I love-” Jaebum stopped himself before he could finish. He’d told Youngjae he loved him in the past, but saying it now seemed different. Because this time, it wasn’t playful or in a brotherly way. It was more than that. And he was sure it would show in his voice.

Youngjae nodded, an irritated smile on his face and left the bathroom, putting an arm around Jackson once the elder approached.

“See you later.”

Jaebum let out a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding as soon as Jackson and Youngjae left the dorm. He’d been finding it harder to breathe with every day that passed that Youngjae avoided him. He was suffocating slowly as if he was underwater, unable swim up to the surface. But as painful as it was becoming, as harder as it was to breathe, he needed to be patient. As cruel as Youngjae could be when he was angry, the boy wouldn’t let him drown.

“So, how’s it going with you two?” A familiar voice belonging to Jinyoung asked Jaebum, walking towards the elder once the dorm had gotten quiet.

“The best it can right now,” Jaebum simply replied. “It’s Youngjae. The boy who’s never even kissed someone, never held a lover’s hand. I’m sure this was his first time confessing, too. He’s young and hurt.”

“You talk about him as if he’s a kid,” Jinyoung laughed. “You’re only a few years older. Yeah, he’s young but that’s not the reason why he’s hurt. You have to realize it’s your fault, too. He’s not just overreacting because he’s young. He has a right to be hurt. If you did it to me, I would be hurt too.”

Jaebum sighed at this. Although sometimes he appreciated them, he was not in the mood for Jinyoung’s lectures.

“If you want him to forgive you you should realize your mistakes and stop treating him like he’s your younger brother or something,” Jinyoung patted Jaebum’s back, knowing although Jaebum was frowning, he understood.

The day turned into night, and the boys began to go to sleep. All except one, who was waiting up for Youngjae who still hadn’t came home with Jackson. Tomorrow they all would go back to the studio, and then the next day they had a music show. It’d hadn’t been awhile, only a week, but it was nice to have a break. If only it hadn’t been so ty. The boys didn’t get to go home to see their families because of Youngjae. They wanted to be around him until they were sure he was okay. Although they didn’t regret their decision, they wished they could have been reunited with some of the people they loved most.

Jaebum looked at the clock again. Memories of finding an overworked Youngjae flooded his mind. Was Youngjae okay? He had to be. Jackson was with him. They probably just lost track of time, right? Once the clock struck midnight, Youngjae and Jackson had officially been out for 10 hours. He was about go out to look for them when his phone rang.

“Jaebum?” It was Jackson. Relief flooded Jaebum hearing his voice. If Jackson was okay, Youngjae must have been too.

“Jackson, what have you two been doing all day. I’ve been waiting for you to get home-”

“Jaebum,” Jackson repeated again. “D-don’t get mad at me, okay?”

Jaebum was so filled with relief he hadn’t realized how broken Jackson’s voice sounded, as if he’d been yelling or crying for the past few hours.

“What is it?”

There was a silence.

“Jackson?”

“So-” Jackson spoke up again, his breathing sounding shaky. “I sort of lost Youngjae.”   

Jaebum had to process the words Jackson had just said. Lost Youngjae? What did that mean? Was Youngjae okay? What was going on?

“What do you mean?”

Jackson’s voice began to speed up, as if he was panicking. “We went out to go shopping, and then we ate dinner, but Youngjae didn’t want to go back to the dorms, so we saw a movie. And then after the movie was over we left the building and Youngjae said he was going to go practice, and that I could go home.”

“Hurry up,” Jaebum growled, feeling panic rise in his chest. He was becoming restless. Despite the fact it was twelve in the morning, he was now wide awake.

“I was unsure about letting him practice by his own so I came with him, and we were practicing for about three hours before I told him to stop because I saw he was getting dizzy. So he told me he was heading back to the dorms, and I stayed behind to clean up, but when I headed back the dorms - Youngjae wasn’t there.”

Jackson had came back? Jaebum had been waiting on the bed in his and Youngjae’s room the entire time, and when he got tired he would take a nap. Jackson must have came home when he was resting.

“I sort of panicked and for the past two hours I’ve been out looking for him. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d be mad--”

Jaebum was less mad but more terrified. He’d yell at Jackson later, right now, he was calling his manager and the guys to wake up. They had to go look for Youngjae. Again.

.