​Jaebum’s heart felt like it was going to explode because of Youngjae’s confession. He met eyes with the younger in the mirror, shocked. His mouth frozen slightly open, unable to find the words to say.

At Jaebum’s reaction, Youngjae sighed, turning around to face the taller boy. “Don’t you like me?”

“What-”

“You kissed me. When you thought I was asleep.”

He was awake for that?

Jaebum’s cheeks grew red. “You kissed me, stopped talking to me, began holding me in my sleep, and then yelled at me. Do you like me or not?”

Youngjae’s innocence had been replaced with anger and frustration. Jaebum hadn’t realized he’d been stressing the boy out so much. Youngjae was young, of course he’d be confused. This was all new to him, and Jaebum hadn’t been considering that.

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum said softly. “I don’t like you like that. I only see you as a little brother. Besides...I’m not gay.” A lie, but one that had to be told.

He thought he heard the sound of Youngjae’s heart snapping in half.

“Okay,” Youngjae stated, his face turning red. “Forget this conversation ever happened, then. I’m sorry.”

When Youngjae turned around to face the mirror, Jaebum could see the tears forming in his eyes. God, it killed him. He wanted to wrap his arms around the boy, take it back - tell him that he liked him too, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the boy, really. It was true that Jaebum had often dreamt about kissing Youngjae again. It was true he often thought about how right it felt to have him wrapped around his arms as they slept. And it was true he got jealous whenever Jinyoung would be touchy with Youngjae. But, even with all that, Jaebum didn’t know what it meant. Because when he looked at Youngjae, part of him saw someone he saw as a younger brother - and the other saw him as the most beautiful person in the world.

The silence shared between them got hard to bear. Jaebum decided to leave first, feeling guilty. He couldn’t look at Youngjae’s flustered and hurt face. It only reminded him of how much of ty person he was. How much of he’s been to him, constantly confusing the boy with a push-and-pull that he, himself, didn’t know he was doing. Knowing he hurt Youngjae was too much guilt to handle, and so, he left.

And he regretted leaving when hours had passed and Youngjae still hadn’t returned from the dance studio. He wasn’t answering any of his calls, either.

“Jinyoung, call the manager,” Jaebum instructed, trying to stay calm. “Jackson, Mark, keep trying to call Youngjae. I’m going to head down to the studio to see if he’s there.”

As he was about to head out, Jaebum felt a tap on his shoulder. It was BamBam and Yugyeom. “What should we do?”

“Relax,” Jaebum forced a smile. The two boys were young, he didn’t want to worry them. “I guess you two can call me if you have any updates.”

With that, Jaebum grabbed his jacket and Youngjae’s that the boy had left behind, and headed out the door and into the cold winter.

The sun was going down. If Youngjae was still there, he would have been at the dance studio all day now. Had he eaten? Was he okay? Jaebum felt the panic he was trying to hide rise, causing his hands to shake as he called a taxi and quickly got in. In the car, his foot tapped impatiently as he stared at his cellphone, hoping BamBam would call with news that Youngjae was okay and had returned to the dorms. But of course, he never got that call.

Getting out of the car and running inside the studio, Jaebum felt his heart pounding fast. Would Youngjae be here? What if he had left? How would they find him? Was he okay?

Opening the door to the dance studio, his hands were shaking and his eyes were wide.

“Youngjae?” He called out, eyes shooting around the room for the boy.

And there he was. Sitting against the mirror, sweat dripping from his entire body, breathing heavily. Youngjae, surprised at the sudden noise, looked up to see a blurry figure standing in the doorway with a voice like Jaebum’s. And that was the last thing he saw before he felt his head hit the ground with a slam.

“Youngjae!” Jaebum sprinted towards the boy, taking a seat next to him and sitting him up. He adjusted Youngjae’s head to rest on his chest. Youngjae’s eyes opened drowsily. “You overworked yourself,” Jaebum stated.

“Jaebum…” Youngjae acknowledged, rubbing his eyes. “I’m sorry.”Jaebum shook his head, although Youngjae couldn’t see it. He grabbed Youngjae by the arm, ready to stand him up.

“Stop saying that. We’re taking you to the hospital, come on.”

“No,” Youngjae said forcefully, trying to get out of Jaebum’s hold. He was too weak to, in the end, and Jaebum sighed. “I just want to go home.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Jaebum couldn’t help but feel bitter. He wasn’t mad at Youngjae, but himself. Youngjae had overworked himself - had stressed himself out to the point where he fainted - and a huge chunk of that was Jaebum’s fault. “Stand up, come on. I’ll help you walk out.”

“I’m not going to the hospital. Take me home.”

“Your house is a long drive away. Your parents can meet you at the hospital.”

“Not my house,” Youngjae shook his head, as Jaebum forced him to stand. His legs were a little wobbly, but he was held up by Jaebum, who was barely letting him speak, since he was in such a rush to take him to the hospital. “The dorm.”

Jaebum stopped walking for a second, embracing what Youngjae had just said. He called the dorm home. It would have made him smile if it weren’t for the state Youngjae was in.

“I’m fine. I just need to sleep. Please…”

Jaebum was really planning on ignoring his pleading, like he should have. But when he saw the desperation in Youngjae’s eyes that he always gave into, he nodded.

“Let’s go home.”

The boys and the manager were informed that Youngjae was okay and heading back to the dorms.

When Youngjae entered the dorm, his entire body still weak and sweat still dripping from his forehead, Jinyoung rushed forward, as well as the others, relieved that he was okay.

“Are you okay? What happened-”

Before Youngjae could find it in him to answer, Jaebum spoke for him. “He worked too hard. Got too stressed. I told him to go to the hospital but he begged me to take him here.”

Jinyoung nodded at Jaebum, understanding what happened. He took him out of Jaebum’s arms and moved his arm under Youngjae’s, guiding him towards the bedrooms.

“Come on, let’s get you to your bed. You can wash up tomorrow.”

But the thought of having to share a room with Jaebum startled Youngjae. He escaped Jinyoung’s grasp, not wanting to enter his and Jaebum’s room.

“What is it?” Jinyoung asked, surprised.

“Um…” A pause. “Jinyoung…” Another pause. Jinyoung waited, an eyebrow raised. “Do you think I can sleep in your room tonight? I’ll sleep on the floor if you want.”

Jaebum clenched his jaw, trying not be offended at Youngjae’s words.

“What’s wrong with Jaebum--” Jinyoung started, but stopped when he realized how uncomfortable Youngjae looked, now making eye-contact with Jaebum. He figured whatever happened between the two of them wasn’t his business. “Yes, of course. We can share my bed. It’s not that small.”

If Jaebum wasn’t feeling so guilty right now, he’d think he’d be seeing red right now. It was no secret he felt jealous - even possessive - when it came to Youngjae interacting with Jinyoung. And the fact that they were going to share a bed, a twin bed, it would normally make him furious. But he knew he caused this. He knew this was his fault. Everything was. So, he would accept the consequences. Even if that meant losing his only comfort he had at night.

Trying to sleep seemed impossible. The bed didn’t feel comfortable. There was no conflict with sheets being torn away from him, no limbs being thrown around his body, no Youngjae sleeping next to him in his arms. He missed hearing the sounds of Youngjae’s quiet and calm breathing. He missed how good - how warm it was to have Youngjae in his arms.

Crawling out of bed, Jaebum tip-toed into Yugyeom and BamBam’s room, entering Jinyoung’s. He had to see Youngjae. He needed to apologize to him. He figured Youngjae would be awake, unable to sleep. But he was wrong. When he entered the tiny room, Jinyoung had his arms around Youngjae. Their bodies were pressed against each others, their breathing in sync. Youngjae was sound asleep in Jinyoung’s arms. And Jaebum swore he never saw Youngjae look so peaceful before.

And he was done.

He was done moping. He was done feeling guilty. He didn’t care if it was his fault. Because seeing Jinyoung holding Youngjae - Jaebum felt the heat tickle his neck, his hands turned into fists. And he couldn’t help the next thought that crossed his mind.

Youngjae is mine.