Your POV

Jimin and J-hope had asked me to come with them to go over at Rapmonsters place for a little party. Of course i coudn't say no and here i was getting hugged to death by V who was happy i came wile the others laughed also saying they were happy i came. I was finally able to get to know all the guys a bit better. The party was not that big but for me it was since i never went to these kind of things. Only me, bts and around 14 other people were there. I felt kind of out of place since i didn't really know anyone so quetly sat on the couch. J-hope and Jimin had kind of left me alone talking with other people. I coudn't blame them for it. It was not like they were allowed to only give attention to me. After some time i felt someone sit down next to me so turned to see Yoongi had sat down next to me.

"You look kind of lonely" he said and smile at me. "Party's are not really my kind of thing" i admited hearing him chuckle a little. "Still the same as 5 years ago" he softly said his eyes not leaving mine. I felt my cheeks become hot seeing Yoongi smile a really cute smile at me. "You're blushing" he dryly said only making me blush more and push him softly. "No it's just hot in here" i said pouting while he laughed at me. "Is that what you think of me?" he teased me. I felt my heart pound really fast and could feel my cheeks only heat up more. "Pff never" i said trying to hyde my shyness. Why did i blush and why was he pointing it out and telling me the exact thing that was on my mind. 

Yoongi kept me company he whole night teasing me everytime i would blush. We talked about silly things until Jimin deciced to join us. When he did Yoongi seemed to move away from me a little and stopped looking at my face. He was letting Jimin talk more than him and acted like he wanted me to talk to Jimin in stead of himself. I guess i was the only one to notice because Jimin stayed the same even sending yoongi some thankful smiles. 

All i wanted right now was leave this party and go home. I liked Jimin a lot as a friend but if it was making Yoongi more distance towards me i didn't like it. 

I shut the door of my appartment behind me and walked down the stairs. I walked towards my mailbox and opened it seeing some letters in it. The most were just advertisements and bills but one letter got my attention. I opened it seeing different papers with lyrics but one paper caught my eyes at first. 'are you happy now?'

Before i was even able to read more hands were placed over my eyes. "Huh?" i tried to push the hands away but before i could someone snatched some papers out my hands. "What is this?" Jimin said letting me go. J-hope was smiling next to him. Jimin tried to read but i wanted to grab it back from him. "Give it back to me" i whined while Jimin was only chuckling an holding the paper away from me. I didn't really feel like getting joked with at this moment. Those papers gave me a bad feeling. "What are these? love songs?" he mumbled but i fan finally able to reach and grabbed the papers but with Jimin still trying to move it away from me the papers were suddenly flying around everywhere.

I was shocked for a moment and glared at Jimin looking at the papers alle spread out on the ground. I could read some more of the lyrics now and i knew i had seen these before. Crouching down i picked them up ignoring how Jimin's happy expression had faded as he got this was not a joke for me. As i was picking up the papers i stopped myself as a pair of shoes stopped in front of me, the person also crouching down and picked up the paper i was going to pick up. Looking up to see who it was i saw Yoongi staring at the paper his expressing changing into a frown. Since when was he here? I then noticed the other boys were also there. 

"Why do you have this..." Yoongi softly asked softly, his voice really low and clearly not amused his eyes looking like he wanted to kill. Then i knew it. These were the papers from his room back in Daegu. The lyrics he had written but why was it send to me. I was at a loss of words staring at him in silence. He stood up with the paper still in his hand and i following him also standing up still not knowing what to say. I remembered back then Yoongi didn't want me to read them, his lyrics. This one time i tried he cought me and hid everything. What now? What am i going to tell him? It seemed like the other guys could feel my cry for help since Jimin cleared his throat and grapped the paper away from Yoongi giving it back to me. 

Yoongi's eyes didn't look away from mine and i could see he still didn't want me to read them but had no choice since all the guys were watching us and they still didn't get what it was. "Let's go before we are to late" Jin said pushing Yoongi and Jimin away from me. They waved at me and left me alone with the papers in my hand and some still on the floor. Yoongi shot a confused look back at me but all i could do was quietly return my stare. 

I didn't understand. Why was this send to me. Yoongi didn't seem like the one sending them seeing his expression. I shook the thoughts off and picked them all up getting back to my appartment. I layed them on the kitchen table and left them there not giving them one single look. It was kind of weird. What did this mean?

After i had sat on the couch watching the wall for like an hour trying to get what just had happened i decided to walk back to the kitchen table and looked over the papers. I read every single lyric. Some were really sad and one even was the rap he sung with Daeho on stage when i first saw him rap but one stood out the most. It was about a girl. If this really was Yoongi's did this mean he was in love with someone? My heart sank wondering who this girl was. I secretly hoped it was me but then again why would it. He was populair with the girls i school and could get so much better. I didn't know what the intentions were from the one sending all this but i hated it. It kind of hurts. It was like taking a look into Yoongi's thoughts. Into his life, his view on the world but just without the exact names of everyone he's writing about in the lyrics.

I sighed and slammed the last paper down on the paper. The girl in his songs didn't look like me at all. She was strong and beautiful. Who is this about? "Were you only playing around with me?" i softly asked out loud seeing the scene of the evening Yoongi was hugging me close telling me his sorry's. His hugs and his stare felt like he thought more about me than just a friend but with these lyrics and his silent leaving i wasn't so sure anymore. "What am i to you?" 

I coudn't help but let tears fall from my eyes. All the old feeling i ever had back then came back. I fell for Yoongi. I loved him.... and i still do. "I hate you" i whispered letting the tears stream down my cheeks. Why did it hurt so bad. Why did the thoughts of another girl in his live make me so sad. 

The one paper which did not have any lyrics on it was now in my hands. 'Are you happy now?' it said, written with a thick black marker. "No i'm not happy..." i whispered.

Suddenly the doorbel rang and i quickly sat up holding my tears. Standing up and walking to the door i dried my face hoping it could not be seen i had been crying. I opened the door and a smiling Jimin appeared. "Hey did you forget our movie night or someth.... are you crying?" he asked happy at first but shot me a concerned look when he noticed i had been crying. Thats right, i totally forget he invited me to watch movies with him. We often did this when J-hope left Jimin home alone to go to his girlfriend. "it's nothing" i quickly said but knew Jimin was not the person to let these kind of things go. "Don't tell me it's nothing, did you hurt yourself or did something bad happen?" he placed his hands on my shoulders and from then i coudn't hold it back anymore. My heart was hurting so bad. Never had i fallen for someone so hard and was left ignored like this. 

Pushing myself into Jimin's arms i let it all out crying like the world was going to end. Jimin was shocked but put his arms around me pulling me close, his hand patting me as he was trying to comfort me. "I hate him" i yelled in Jimin's chest feeling his arms loose around me for a moment. "He?..." Jimin softly asked. "What did he do to you?" his voice was calm. "He keeps on breaking my heart" i sobbed but jimin pulled away from me  placing both his hands on my cheeks making me look at him. He didn't look happy, almost mad which scared me a little. "Who does this to you?" he said but what could i say. I coudn't speak just looking into Jimin's eyes while the tears kept falling down. How was i supposed to tell him it was about one of his friends. "Please stop crying, i hate seeing you like this." i could notice a light panic in his voice. He probably wasn't really sure what to do or say to make me stop. "Tell me who this jerk is, i'm going to make him regret breaking your heart. How can anyone do this to you? You are the most lovely girl i know.... How can someone not just return your love witout hurting you...." Jimin said but stopped talking noticing what he had just said. My eyes wided a bit. Wait did he just confess for me? My tears stopped still trying to catch what Jimin's words meant. 

Jimin nervously chuckled and before i knew it his lips were on mine. I was too shocked to move feeling him push me back inside before pulling away from me and pushed the door shut behind him. "Wha....?" i asked still in shock from the sudden kiss. "I love you, i will never hurt you so... forget about this other guy" Jimin softly said biting his lip. He was nervous but tried his best to hyde it but wasn't very good at it. When i didn't say anything and still stood there staring up at him he moved close to me again, trapping me against the wall before he placed another kiss on my lips. I didn't know why but this second kiss i just gave in and returned it. Maybe it was because of all my emotions running wild because i had no feelings for this boy at all. He was just my friend, a really close one, nothing more. 

He led me inside my own house somethimes stopping to kiss me but stopped as he saw the papers from before spread over the kitchen table. He glanged over it quickly a small smile playing on his lips. This reminded me what was happening before the kiss feeling the pain in my chest return as i thought about it. I grabbed Jimin's hand and pulled him away from the table pulling him towards my room and pushed him on the bed. He looked up at me a little shocked but this faded when i sat down on his lap this time me being the one to kiss him first. Of course he returned it and his hands placed on my hips pulling me slightly closer to deepen the kiss. I had to admit his kisses weren't that bad. We pulled away and stared back at each other for a moment but his eyes left mine and the corners of his lips went upwards but it looked more like a sad smile in stead of the happy one he usually showed. 

"It's Suga right?" Jimin softly asked making my heart flutter at the thoughts of the name. "Yoongi is the one who is making you hurt so bad isn't he?" i was shocked. How did he know. I had never told him anything. "How..." i asked still not able to look Jimin in the eyes. "I can tell by the way you look at him... and these lyrics are his. I reconised the writing style." Jimin finally looked at me and leaned backwards on his hands. "i'm sorry" i softly said and felt like crying again. Not only did i feel hurt because of Yoongi but also felt really bad now about not loving Jimin back. "Don't. i'm fine. I'm happy as long as you are happy, even if you don't like me back the same way i like you" he told me. How could he say this like he wasn't hurt at all. 

We didn't speak but for some reason my body moved on it's own closing the gap between me and Jimin kissing him once again. I knew it was wrong and Jimin knew it didn't mean anything but right now it was everything i needed to forget about Min Yoongi for at least a little bit.