Chapter 04:

You can cry if you want to.

Junhongs parents were overbearing. Not many months had passed since, perhaps eight. Junhong was leaving Korea tomorrow and Daehyun couldn’t help but notice the drop in Youngjaes mood. Junhong wasn’t allowed to see the street-roaches as they were called, and through Jongups’ phone; they wished him good luck and said their goodbyes. Daehyun tried to leave Youngjae to talk to Junhong, but he refused, and clutched onto Daehyuns hand the entire time throughout the phone call.

Jongup left the two a hug as final.

“I guess this is it, huh?” He asked with a weary smile on his lips. Youngjae nodded, and so did Daehyun. Jongup left without much said; taking that it would be unlike of him to talk much anyway.

Youngjae still hadn’t told Daehyun that he was involved romantically with Junhong and Daehyun didn’t know how to comfort him if he wouldn’t tell him so. Nevertheless; when they went to sleep; Youngjae couldn’t bat an eyelash and Daehyun noticed the tears in his eyes. He pushed the bag between them aside, and sat down next to Youngjae, legs crossed.

He combed back Youngjaes hair and sighed.

“You can cry if you want to.” Daehyun said, and as they met gazes – a single crystal drop of tear rolled down Youngjaes’ cheek. Daehyun wiped it out with a thumb.

“I’m sorry.” He said, and Youngjae couldn’t manage to nod. A small gurgle of a noise left his lips, and Daehyun wiped every single tear that rolled down his cheeks, one after the other – as gently as he could.

Youngjae clutched onto Daehyuns pants the entire night, crying out as much as tears he had. Junhong was wonderful and eight months’ worth of memories were a lot to let go.

Neither of them fell asleep through but were wide awake. Daehyun lied down when it was nearly dawn; and Youngjae gulped down once before he curled himself onto Daehyun. Although his tears had stopped, his breathing was still irregular and Daehyun tried not to let his own heart sink.

He didn’t wake up Youngjae for the day, and settled to playing his guitar as low as he could manage. He brought over lunch, three sandwiches and a can of coke. Usually they had a plate of rice from a street-person like the two; and the old man always gave the two boys a discount. Youngjae liked bread as much as they found it hard to afford.

Daehyun knew that Youngjae would lose his appetite and he just wanted to make sure he eats something. When he came back, Youngjae was awake, Boo on his lap. He smiled as Daehyun walked into the subway, and they sat on the benches for a difference. During day; the subway was all to themselves.

Daehyun handed over Youngjae his lunch; and much to his delight, Youngjae didn’t push it away and unwrapped the clear paper on the sandwiches. He didn’t take it to his lips yet.

“Did you know?” He asked, voice hushed. “About Junhong?”

Daehyun nodded, unwrapping his own food.

“Since when?”

“The night we won the contest; after dinner.” Daehyun confessed. He broke the third sandwich into half and left one of it for Boo. He passed over the other half of it to Youngjae.

“You saw us?” Youngjae asked, and Daehyun quietly nodded.

“Why didn’t you ask?”

Daehyun shrugged. “If you wanted to tell me you could have. I left you the choice, that’s all.”

Youngjae gulped down heavily. “You don’t think I’m weird?” He asked, and Daehyun narrowed his brows. “Because you like Junhong or because you like boys in general?” he asked, and Youngjae chuckled the least bit. “Bit of both, I think.” Youngjae said, and Daehyun shook his head.

“The only reason you’re weird is because you thought I would think that you are weird.” Daehyun said. Then he shook his head in disbelief. “Why would you even think of that?” He asked, completely serious of the question. “Why couldn’t you tell me, all this time?”

Youngjae ignored the question, and chewed his sandwich. Daehyun nudged Youngjae with his elbow. “Say something.”

“It’s hard to explain.”

And that was the only explanation Daehyun received for the day. Youngjae was clearly moping, refusing to stand up from their sheets and torturing their cat, not letting it go out. Daehyun picked up his guitar.

“Coming?” He asked, and lazily, Youngjae nodded. He said he wanted a wash first, and Dae