8 - Spring
S E A S O N S
-Byungjoo-
"Spring was Hansol's favorite season of the year," I said to myself, laying on the bright, wet green grass- staring at the blue sky, "Today is the day we first started dating too, in the beginning of Spring."
"He would have loved this spring. It's even more colorful than the last ones."
I held a simple purple tulip in my hand, twisting the stem with my fingers, "Hansol loved purple tulips. He said it reminded him of my purple hair in high school."
I sighed and closed my eyes, holding the tulip tightly, I still remember the day Hansol told me he had lung cancer. Who would have thought a young man of 21 that had been filled with so much love and energy, died on December 26th, his last words dedicated to his boyfriend who had been bawling his eyes out.
"I love you, Byungjoo. Take care of yourself for me will you?"
I still hear his last words in my head everyday, every time I think about wanting to die from this constant pain and loneliness- I still remember his words to take care of myself for him.
Xero wouldn't stop crying that day either, Jenissi; who I have never seen cry, cried as well. We all witnessed our best friend, my boyfriend, die.
I was planning to propose to him that day as well, crazy right? I found him coughing up blood violently as he held his chest in the living room on the couch as I finished buying the ring with the engraved letters of each other's names.
I had to make a special request, begging the doctors to let me put the ring on him. They agreed finally.
I wore the engraved ring on my ring finger, Hansol's name on it.
Though I promised Hansol I would take care of myself for him. I couldn't, you know? I couldn't live without the boy who made my world light up every time I had seen his smile, or even looked at him. Heh, Xero and Jenissi would not be too happy with me right now..
I let out a shaky breath, the meadow I laid in was empty. Just like Hansol and I's first few dates in this meadow. The trees leaves were colored bright green like the grass. I sat up and rubbed the ring on my finger.
I smiled to myself, then at the tree branch, holding the noose, "Hansol I'm sorry. I love you."
We'll be together soon.
( Im sorry ; u ; , also this will not be the end !! this will go up to 10 chapters, just two more // which will, don't worry, be fluff and be totally unrelated to the events so far; they're probably going to be about hanjoo first dating in the spring ~ i felt like writing today + i kinda cried while writing this bc i'm a bad person for writing these last two chapters of sadness omg ; anyways, the next update might be pretty soon ?? bye bye !!)
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