Present day

The night chill felt like that rough breeze trying to tear her skin. Her lungs angrily gasped for air even though she had not been deprived. The heart pumped so hard on her chest, it was getting harder to contain.

So much for trying to calm her nerves

It was supposed to be simple.

She just had to drop off her silly letter and then leave. But here she was standing in front of that familiar gate while having a staring competition with the buzzer.

Yes, it was so easy to do, considering the mailbox was within her reach.

But she wanted more.

She wanted to hear her voice.

She wanted to see her face.

The mere thought that she could see her face, her extremely angry face, scared her. But then again, that face was the one she had long to see up close.

The one she had long to stare at like how she used to.

Looking to the side and finding that familiar vehicle parked, she knew there was no time to back out now.

She was home.

She could actually see her if she just pressed that red button just in front of her.

But what would she do when she does come out to greet her?

Should she check her reflexes? Who knows what items would fly her way now?

Her efforts must not go to waste. She had endured so much just to stand here like a total idiot to stop now.

She pressed the buzzer and waited patiently.

“Hello?”

The voice with American English accent and her higher pitch made Seulgi breathe a little.

“Jessica-Unnie, It’s Seulgi.”

2009

F(x) Debut

For a trainee, debuting is a dream. You work hard not to gain face, but you work hard to be worthy. Being worthy never meant you were just talented. Being worthy meant you had character that goes with the talent.

Seulgi forgot who long it had been since the first time she set foot in the practice room for formal training. She forgot how nervous she was and how difficult it was to adjust.

She forgot how scary some of the trainees were.

Or just how childish some have been

But leaning against the doorway as the announcement has been made, Seulgi couldn’t help but smile.

She was debuting.

She was debuting.

She was debuting.

Those three words got stuck on her head as the Company CEO announced F(x)’s Debut. Seulgi wasn’t expecting much since she needed more training. She didn’t envy them. In fact, she was more than happy.

And it was all because it was Krystal Jung.

She was definitely ecstatic Krystal will finally debut. This was considering everyone’s hard work paid off. It was a gift.

A GREAT opportunity

Then why did Seulgi feel a little twinge in her heart?

Seulgi knew it wasn’t because Krystal was debuting with her.

Seulgi knew it wasn’t because Krystal had new best friend.

Her gaze locked towards Krystal and Sulli who were animatedly having a conversation. It was normal to see them that immersed on topics.

What wasn’t normal was Krystal forgetting Seulgi was in the room.

Seulgi shrugged, fooling herself that it was just because of the other girl’s lack of attention.

She sighed but waited and was rewarded with a huge smile from Krystal’s face when she saw her.

Her best friend’s dream is finally coming true.

Seulgi feels a hand on her shoulder and turned to Joohyun, no, Irene who had a smile on her face.

Those big brown eyes stared at her like the words were more of a promise and not as a dream.

 “Someday, we’ll debut too.”

Seulgi smiled back, her eyes locked on Irene not realizing the huge smile on Krystal lips had already faded away.

Present day

Seulgi wiped her sweaty hands on her pants as she waited for Jessica to return. Apparently Krystal had not come back since their training which was good.

It was also bad because it meant she was alone with the original Ice Princess.

“Can you call me back if you’re on your way Yuri? Yes. I love you. You two take care.” Jessica finished her phone call and walked over to the living room with Seulgi sweating like there was no tomorrow.

“Do I need to lower the thermostat? You’re perspiring too much.”

“I’m fine Unnie. This is normal.” Seulgi smiled hoping the older woman would bite to her excuse.

“Haven’t seen you in quite a while Seulgi-ssi…”

“Things are… Difficult lately…”

“Is that what it is now?”

“I’m sorry Unnie…”

Jessica sighed and sat beside her, staring at the wine on the coffee table. Silence fell between them and Seulgi was not one to break it.

Not when it was her fault.

Not when Krystal Jung’s broken heart was all her fault.

“What do you want from my sister Kang Seulgi?”

She breathes out heavily, her head already trying to form something to say. Those eyes tore away every inch of imaginary shield she had and made her vulnerable.

Her hands formed into fists as they rest on her lap.

What did she really want?

She had a letter.

An old letter she was not able to give to Krystal after all these years.

It was a letter she kept in the hope tha