Requested by Anon: The reader feels she isn’t good enough to be his girlfriend and how he would make her feel better^^ 

A/N: I thought since he’s first/ eternal/ forever bias in all things Korean that this would be easy…boy, was I wrong :P Guess there was a lot more pressure because of that >_< Gave it my best shot :) Enjoy, Sweet Pea <3

Originally posted by tursucutembelvampir

(Y/N)’s POV

I must’ve been out of my mind.

Walking down the streets of Seoul with a pack of soju in my hand, the “clink” and “clang” of the green glass playing its percussion as I stride nervously to his apartment complex. 

I hadn’t heard from Hyun Joong oppa for awhile now. His schedule changes from his last tour kept him out of the country for awhile, leaving me to finish up my studies for my last year of university (YES, FINALLY >_< )

While missing him would be a total understatement, I honestly didn’t mind the distance from him. It’s not like I avoided him completely, but I purposely reduced my time texting or calling him. I always told him it was school-related which was (sometimes) true, but the real reason was so I would not linger on feelings that I knew could never be reciprocated. 

He was my sunbae, after all… a SUPER sunbae at that (he’s eight years older than me). I only got to start calling him “oppa” after we got close (really close for that matter, but that’s a conversation for another time), during our several spontaneous bar-hopping sprees in Hongdae near my university. Let’s just say, he’s never been more challenged of his alcoholic tolerance, especially from a foreign yeoja hoobae (female junior).

Speaking of my “foreign exchange student” status, any Triple S or Henecian fan would think, “Well, Hyun Joong oppa’s into foreign women. That should give you enough edge to win him over, right?” Nope! I knew Hyun Joong oppa well and long enough to know that I wasn’t his type… I’m no Angelina Jolie, and I’m most certainly not Lee Hyori material. 

Despite my hidden feelings for him, I’d rather be content with being his best drinking-buddy hoobae, admiring from afar. And if I do get closer than the occasion calls for it, like granting his request for a keg of soju every now and then, it’s better than the possibility of rejection and losing any bit of friendship/ personal relations I have with him.

Having him close was more than enough for me…

As I gave a slight nod to the security guard in front of the lobby (who knew me very well from our drunken festivities), go up the elevator and activate the electronic doorbell in front of his apartment door, I can’t help but feel uneasy this time around. Call it a hunch, intuition or something. I’m not sure. Raising the soju keg up closer to my vision, I wonder,”What are we drinking for tonight?”

Hyun Joong’s POV

I smiled to myself when I saw her cute eye-smile, holding up the keg close to her cheeks, on my intercom. “Annyeong~! Delivery for Hyun Joong-ssi,” she said before I buzzed her in.

I usually don’t like aegyo and other cutesy stuff, and I knew neither did she. But in a strange way, it suit her. It felt natural, a part of her true personality deep inside, and not something fabricated that a lot of females in this industry, and especially the groupies, do. The best part of it all was that that pure, innocent side of her seemed to only come out whenever she’s with me. It was honestly kind of y, and I felt honored that that side of her only I got to see. I missed her pretty badly, because of it.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out she has been avoiding me (and when I wasn’t sure, a quick call to Dr. Love/ Professor Heo was always good confirmation). I had been back in Seoul for about two weeks now, without so much as a “hi” or “welcome back, Oppa. Let’s get a drink and catch up” from her. Whenever I did invite her out, she always had somewhere to be or something to do: 

“Oh, mianhaeyo, oppa. I have a big project tomorrow.” 

“ I can’t, oppa. I’m visiting my relatives in Busan this weekend.”

“Oppa, appayo… I must be working/studying too hard because of school.”

Flashback

The night before - on the phone…

“B.S. Total B.S,” Young Saeng said. ”Granted, school is hard but if she was able to pass all her midterm exams after partying it up with you the night before in the past, there’s no way school is the real problem.”

“Emm… so what do you think is the real problem?” I asked.

“If you ask me, Hyung, she’s probably really insecure about her feelings for you,” Young Saeng explained in his psychiatric way of giving love advice, “which is why she’s avoiding any contact or any means to hang out with you. It’s a defense mechanism, but it’s also a form of escapism. She has these feelings, probably fears rejection, so instead of