Luhan's life seemed to be a myriad of voices and choices that weren't entirely his own.

When a straight-A, seemingly well adjusted private school attendee decides suicide is a choice worth consideration, people assume it's the worst choice they've ever made. Luhan, however, couldn't disagree more. Suicide was the one choice he made that was actually his. It was the one thing he did that was finally for himself.

People often refer to suicide as a selfish act, but in his eyes; those people were selfish. They don't want to hear what you have to say, but when you die it's as if they never stopped asking about your feelings. It's a dirty game of fault and blame, but it would likely never stop.

Luhan could tell you the first 21 digits of pi. He could recite Shakespeare like he was reading it from a script. He never stayed out late, and he balanced his social life well. These are all things that people would tell you if you asked them about Xiao Luhan.

However, if you asked Luhan about himself, he'd only tell you three things:

He isn't entirely sure if everything he sees and hears is actually there.

Although a plethora of bruises and scratches adorn his body, he would never hurt himself.

He's about to turn 18 years old and he still has an imaginary friend.

He would tell anyone these things if they asked, but no one ever did.

So, on the eve of his eighteenth birthday- armed with a Jane Austin novel and a handful of vicodin- Xiao Luhan of Westerbury Boarding School committed suicide.

January, 12,2015 (97 days before death).

“Luhan, if you toss and turn all night tonight, I swear I'm sleeping on the floor.”

“Why do you even need to sleep?”

“Ask yourself that. You're the one who made me up.”

“Maybe I should un-make you up.”

“Wow. Threatening to kill someone who only exists in your head. You really are loony, aren't you?”

Although the room was pitch black, Luhan knew Sehun could see the prominent pout on his lips. They'd had the 'don't call me crazy' conversation multiple times, and though Luhan knew that Sehun only said those things because he believed it about himself; it still made him a bit off put to know that it was probably true.

He felt Sehun's ever-cold arms circle his waist and a sharp chin being pressed to the top of his head.

“You think too much. It's giving me a headache. Go to sleep.” Sehun's usually bored tone was clipped as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of Luhan's head bef