mention of EXO-M leader, Kris ( Wu Yifan) departure

We can't hold into something which is our treasure.
Sometimes we can't be selfish.

We learn, we don't have the ability to control everything, maybe we leave it behind and move on.

Time flies really fast, weeks, months and even years could pass by in a blink of an eye. One minute you dream about the past, and when you wake up, you are in the reality. Then you realize these two things are so different from the other. That's when you truly wake up and pray not to think.

Park Chanyeol slowly wakes up from his slumber too. He realizes his dream happened but it's over now. It was over after 1 year and 2 months. And he found himself in his bed all alone. The presence which was there, went away. Kris went away with his unbearable feelings, his heart and his emotions. Kris had to go away to pursue his dreams.

,,Chanyeol we have to get going for the upcoming schedule!" Suho said after two knocks on his door. Bur work is work. The world will not stop, we have to do the same or different routines day by day.

To Chanyeol his work is entertaining and he enjoys it. You could see he is radiating on stage with his happiness, handsomness and with his smile.But of course it gets hard and he would call around this time really hard. Without Kris hyung, his life is quite empty. But just because of his work, he forces himself up each day. His work keeps him going, this helps him not to think too much.  Also he becomes somehow happy in stage or between performances and afterall his fellow members are still beside him. They make a lot of fun, enjoying life and etc.

But still he misses Kris, his hyung....his life is not complete without him.

Everything started to become more complicated two months ago. He remembers everything as he goes back to sleep during their car ride.

Chanyeol noticed Kris was acting strange, he asked about reasons but he never got any answers. Maybe he drifted apart from him too. All that they had sometimes was insecure kisses, comforting hugs and petite glances towards each other.
 

,,Kris, what's wrong?" I become more and more worried day by day. We don' t longer have deep and long conversations like we used to. Somehow everything changed. The way two of us would spend our time, our minutes, our life.
 

,,I am just tired I think, Chanyeol. Maybe I could have some time alone.."

 

,,But Hyung! Maybe you just need to talk with somebody. Am I not good enough to talk with? Or am I too childish?" I am restless. He just can't give me an answer. Why am I not good? Why we don't talk with each other? Why everything is so different between us?
 

,,I don't need to talk..I want to be..alone."
 

,,Hyung, I am truly sick of this. It's like two weeks and we don't have any interaction at all! It's not like how we used to be!!!!! Let's talk, please. I don't know what's wrong and it's killing me..and and I saw you with Suho talking.." Please. Please hyung.
 

,,I can't." I am searching for his eyes, for his emotion. But I can't see anything. I am scared, Hyung. You don't even look at me.. not now...not before..not today... not yesterday. When did I see your honest feelings and your eyes looking back at me?

 

,,Wu Yifan, do you still love me?" I can feel his eyes glance up, he is schocked. He is hurt. Did I hurt him? Do you love me Hyung?
 

Don't worry. I won't worry. We could be alright. We have to just solve this, I could help with you anything. You can tell me everything, be it anything. I am beside you, I will support you. We are one, we are together.

,,Yeol, if I say no, could you just leave me alone and forget me? I... don't .need...you anymore, and you ....don't need.. me also."

I look up to him but I can't see anything written on his handsome face. His eyes are still not looking at me. And I feel so down as minutes pass by. I can't even figure out how this happened. What do you mean Hyung? Is this real? You want me to leave you alone? I can't...I need you.

I feel myself so desperate and in the edge of crying. My vision gets blurry too. And I see you walking out of the room.

Don't leave me..

Please.

Talk to me.

Please, we can solve this...when we are together we can solve everything.

,,Wu Yifan, I love you...don't go."

That was the last sentence I told him, and I remember he heard it. Because he waited for me to say this, then he went out of the room.

That night Kris didn't even come back to our room, not our dorm. Also I didn't see him in the morning...

All that was left, a letter :

Dear EXO members, my friends,

Due to my decision, I will leave EXO. Not because of you guys but because of me.
I miss China and I miss my mother.

I want to be an actor. This is my dream, and in order to fulfill it I had to leave.

I'm sorry, I will miss all of you too.

ps: Please do not contact me, the company won't even accept it if they find out. I don't want be a bother to you guys.
I love