Chapter Sixteen: The Farewell

Jong Kook stared at the box of tissues on the table in front of him and wished that Suk Jin would hurry back with the soju bottle. Not for Jong Kook—he only drank a few times a year on special occasions—but for Kwang Soo who had cried three times since Jae Suk announced Joong Ki’s departure from Running Man at the end of today’s filming. Even Joong Ki hadn’t cried that much. He’d shed a tear or two while hugging the staff and saying goodbye for the cameras, but once the initial farewell had ended, Joong Ki had stopped crying and started to enjoy his last hours as a Running Man cast member.

Kwang Soo pulled another tissue out of the box and blew his nose. Jong Kook glanced around the restaurant, but he couldn’t find Suk Jin with those drinks. Jong Kook had the sneaking suspicion that Suk Jin and Gary had abandoned him to take care of Kwang Soo alone.

The Running Man PDs had booked an entire barbeque restaurant for the farewell party, and the tables were filled with staff members. There was a table for the writers, a table for the PDs, a table for the FDs and PTs, and two tables for the VJs. The cast table was towards the back of the room but only half the cast had arrived so far. Jong Kook, Suk Jin, Gary, and Kwang Soo had claimed the table as their own when they first entered the restaurant, but the moment Kwang Soo started crying again, Suk Jin had gone to get drinks and Gary had mysteriously needed to talk to his coordinator about something. They had both been gone for ten minutes now.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” said Kwang Soo, wiping the corners of his eyes with the tissue. “You don’t have to stay here with me.”

Jong Kook managed a small, wry smile. “What kind of hyung would I be if I left my dongsaeng crying alone?”

“I’m okay,” insisted Kwang Soo. “I don’t usually cry like this.”

This time, Jong Kook’s smile was genuine. “You shouldn’t feel guilty. Joong Ki’s been with us since the beginning. It was easier when Lizzy left because she hadn’t been with us as long. But we’re all close with Joong Ki—you and Ji Hyo especially.”

“Where is noona?” Kwang Soo glanced around the restaurant.

Jong Kook shrugged. “I don’t know.” He hoped Ji Hyo and the others would show up soon. Ji Hyo could sit with Kwang Soo, and Jong Kook could have a conversation with someone who wasn’t dependent on a tissue box.

Thankfully, Suk Jin chose that moment to return. “Is Kwang Soo still crying?” he asked as he settled into the seat across from Jong Kook. He placed a bottle of soju and three shot glasses on the table.

“I’ve stopped,” said Kwang Soo.

“For now,” added Jong Kook. He glanced at the empty shot glass in front of him and added, “Thank you, hyung, but I’m not drinking.”

“Do you have a schedule tomorrow?” asked Suk Jin.

“Not until the afternoon,” said Jong Kook. “But I prefer to look after my liver.”

“Don’t forget,” said Kwang Soo. “Jong Kook-hyung wants to live to be two-hundred.”

Suk Jin gently shook the bottle of soju and asked, “Is Haha still putting his place back together?”

“Poor Dong Hoon-hyung,” murmured Kwang Soo.

Jong Kook grimaced. Out of all the members, Haha had the best excuse for being late. Today’s episode had required the cast members to raid Haha’s apartment and take his things. A few months ago, the Running Man staff had asked all the cast members who would be willing to let the filming take place in their homes. Suk Jin and Jae Suk, who were married, as well as Jong Kook and Ji Hyo, who wanted to respect their parents’ privacy, had all refused. Haha, Gary, and Kwang Soo hadn’t realized that agreeing could lead to the ransacking of their apartments. The losing team had been required to bring everything back to Haha’s apartment as punishment (though both teams had ended up helping), but Haha had kicked them out after a certain point and was putting the final things back in place before he came to the farewell party.

“We’ll send him a gift basket,” said Suk Jin.

Jong Kook grinned. He had learned to appreciate Suk Jin’s No Mercy sense of humor.

“The guests were fun,” said Kwang Soo. “They enjoyed the nametag ripping.”

“Sun Kyun was upset he didn’t catch me.” Suk Jin was still struggling to open the soju bottle.

“Hyung, do you want me to help with that?” asked Jong Kook, extending a hand for the bottle.

“I got it,” snapped Suk Jin. Jong Kook was slightly taken aback by the sharpness in Suk Jin’s voice. When he turned to Kwang Soo, Suk Jin’s tone returned to normal. “Sun Kyun said I was easy so it was blow to his self-esteem not to catch me.”

Kwang Soo chuckled. “And I suppose everyone wanted Jong Kook-hyung.”

“There was one point where they were all lying on top of me,” said Jong Kook. “At that point, I didn’t know that you joined the team if they ripped off your nametag, so while they were all fighting over me, I was just trying to protect my back.”

Suk Jin was still struggling with the soju bottle. Jong Kook debated offering to help once more, but he had the feeling that Suk Jin would just snap again.

“I’m so jealous,” said Kwang Soo. “I wish people would argue over me like that.”

Jong Kook laughed. “Ji Hyo and I forgot you existed.”

“What?” cried Kwang Soo, turning to stare at Jong Kook with exaggerated horror. “You and noona forgot about me?”

“Don’t feel hurt,” said Jong Kook. “We were trying to figure out who was left, and Ji Hyo and I thought it was just the two of us. We were hiding in the same room right before I got caught—”

“Ah-ha!” Suk Jin finally got the lid off the bottle. He held it up triumphantly. “And you thought I couldn’t do it.”

“It wasn’t that we didn’t think you could do it, hyung,” said Jong Kook. “We were just worried about how long it would take.”

Kwang Soo nodded. “We were worried that everyone else would have arrived, eaten dinner, and left, and you would still be struggling with that bottle.”

“You’re hilarious,” muttered Suk Jin. Kwang Soo held up his shot glass as Suk Jin poured the soju.

Kwang Soo picked up the empty glass that had been meant for Jong Kook. “I’ll have two.”

“Or not,” said Jong Kook, taking the glass from Kwang Soo and placing it on the table beside him. “I still remember the last time you got drunk.”

Kwang Soo smiled. “You mean the time at karaoke when me and Joong Ki…” He trailed off. The tears had sprung back to his eyes.

“You can still go out drinking with Joong Ki even if he’s no longer on the show,” said Jong Kook quickly. He took the soju bottle before Kwang Soo had a chance to and using both hands, filled Suk Jin’s shot glass. “Friendships don’t exist only in variety shows.”

“I know,” said Kwang Soo, miserably. He took another tissue from the box. “I need to stop before Ji Hyo-noona gets here.”

“I’m going to see where Gary has gotten to,” said Suk Jin abruptly. He gulped down the rest of his soju before leaving the table.

Jong Kook watched Suk Jin make his way through the clusters of staff members to the VJ table where Gary was talking to his cameraman, Jung Hwa. Jong Kook couldn’t figure out what was going on with Suk Jin. Were there problems at home? Or was it work related? Jong Kook didn’t think he was close enough to Suk Jin to ask about the problem. With Haha or Kwang Soo, Jong Kook could ask about almost anything and they would tell him, but with Suk Jin, it was probably better to let Jae Suk do the asking.

“Noona!” cried Kwang Soo.

Jong Kook looked up to see Ji Hyo, dressed in black leggings and a beige jacket, weaving through the tables. Her eyes were slightly pink but other than that she seemed fine. She also seemed slightly angry, and when she came to stop at their table, she first greeted Jong Kook with “hyungnim”, before putting her hands on her hips and saying, “Lee Kwang Soo, you’d better get rid of that tissue box before Joong Ki gets here.”

Kwang Soo immediately picked up the tissue box and tossed it underneath the table. “What tissue box?”

“You were the one who said we wouldn’t cry at the farewell party,” said Ji Hyo, slipping into the seat across from Kwang Soo and next to Jong Kook. She took off her jacket, revealing a gray sweater beneath. “Joong Ki is doing this for his career and we need to be supportive.”

“After Joong Ki arrives, I won’t shed a single tear,” vowed Kwang Soo.

Ji Hyo nodded before picking up the empty shot glass. “Good. Is this glass for me?”

Jong Kook fought back a smile. “You won’t cry, Ji Hyo, but you are going to get drunk.”

“One glass won’t make me drunk,” said Ji Hyo as Kwang Soo poured the soju for her. “You should have some, hyung. It’s Joong Ki’s farewell party, after all.”

“Maybe when Joong Ki arrives,” said Jong Kook.

“Sure, hyung,” muttered Kwang Soo. “When Suk Jin-hyung or I ask you to drink, you refuse, but when Ji Hyo-noona asks, you say ‘maybe.’”

Jong Kook scowled at his dongsaeng. His decision had nothing to with Ji Hyo but rather that she had raised a good point that it was Joong Ki’s farewell party and it would only be polite to have a glass. But before Jong Kook could explain himself, Kwang Soo had changed the subject and started asking Ji Hyo about her new management company, C-JeS Entertainment.

During his Turbo days under the exploitative Star Music, Jong Kook had developed a distrust for management companies. He had left 101 Entertainment earlier this year and was in the midst of starting up his own company, JK Entertainment. While there was some apprehension about managing himself, Jong Kook also felt a sense of relief; he wouldn’t have to rely on someone else’s business to care for his best interests.

“I’ve been with King Kong Entertainment for a year now,” said Kwang Soo. “I think we’re a good fit.”

“That’s good,” said Jong Kook. “There’s nothing worse than being with a company that doesn’t work well with you, but you’re forced to remain with them because your contract doesn’t expire for another two years.”

Ji Hyo nodded as if she understood the feeling.

Jong Kook was tempted to ask what had happened to her, but he kept his mouth closed. Business wasn’t something Jong Kook and Ji Hyo usually discussed. They were in two different fields and moved in different circles of the entertainment industry. He occasionally heard about her filming for a drama or doing a photoshoot, but that was usually because Jong Kook happened to overhear when she was telling these things to Kwang Soo or Joong Ki.

“And I heard you and Jong Kook-hyung forgot me today,” said Kwang Soo.

Jong Kook stifled a laugh, while Ji Hyo looked blank. Jong Kook’s eyes met Ji Hyo’s briefly before she asked, “We did?”

“When we were hiding in the show room,” explained Jong Kook.

Ji Hyo’s face remained blank for a few more seconds, and then a slow, sly smile spread across her face. “Kwang Soo, you’re so easy to catch that I didn’t bother to include you.”

“Noona!” cried Kwang Soo.

“You lasted surprisingly long,” said Jong Kook, pretending to be impressed. “How’d you manage?”

“He was bound to get lucky one day or another,” said Ji Hyo.

Jong Kook nodded. “No doubt he’ll be one of the first ones out next week.”

“The world will make sense again,” said Ji Hyo. The two of them were grinning.

Kwang Soo shook his head helplessly before taking another sip of soju. Though his eyes were still a little red, Kwang Soo no longer looked like he was about to start crying at any moment. Jong Kook couldn’t express how thankful he was for Ji Hyo right then. Her presence helped Kwang Soo keep calm. While Jong Kook had been friends with Joong Ki, it was Ji Hyo and Kwang Soo who had been closest and only they could really understand each other at this moment. The two of them continued to talk—about acting, about Running Man, about a new drama they both liked—and refill each other’s soju glasses, while Jong Kook added teasing remarks here and there.

Jong Kook hardly noticed that time had passed until Jae Suk and Haha arrived, bringing with them the news that Joong Ki had been delayed by a last minute interview. Jae Suk took the seat next to Kwang Soo, while Haha ordered another bottle of soju. Haha announced that he was never letting SBS film in his apartment again and then Jae Suk started talking about his wife’s plans for their son’s first birthday party. Jae Suk and Haha’s presence brought Suk Jin and Gary—no longer worried about being left alone with a tearful Kwang Soo—back to their seats. The cast members gathered at the table and waited for the barbeque meat to be brought out.

“It’ll be the seven of us from now on,” said Suk Jin. He sounded like he could barely believe it himself.

“We’re losing our flower boy,” said Haha sorrowfully. “Who will be in charge of looks from now on?”

“Me,” said Gary.

“It’s obviously me,” said Kwang Soo.

Jae Suk scoffed. “The day we rely on either of you for looks will be a desperate day indeed.”

“Seven’s a bad number if we do an episode without guests,” observed Jong Kook. “We can’t split evenly into teams.”

“But it works well with guests,” said Ji Hyo. “One guest means teams of two, two guests means teams of three.”

Jong Kook nodded. “True. But I heard the Cho PD talking about how there would be no guests next episode.”

“We’re not going to have to gather teammates again, are we?” asked Jae Suk.

“Maybe it’s individual,” said Haha.

“Individual nametag ripping?” said Gary slowly.

There was a pause as the cast members let the words sink in. Jong Kook looked around the table and knew that every cast member was stealing glances in his direction. There was little doubt who would be public enemy number one was if they ever had an individual nametag ripping battle.

“Let’s wait until next filming before we start speculating,” said Jae Suk. “I’m paranoid enough on set—I don’t want to be paranoid while eating barbeque.”

Jong Kook snorted. “You’re one to talk, Yooames Bond.”

“You just can’t admit that I got you with the water gun,” said Jae Suk smugly. “Don’t be such a sore loser.”

Suddenly, Gary sat up, peering over the heads of the seat staff members. The rest of the cast followed Gary’s gaze and saw the thin, round-faced Joong Ki standing at the entrance of the restaurant with his manager.

“Joong Ki,” called out Kwang Soo, waving his arms. “We’re back here!”

“Look who finally made it to his farewell party,” said Haha as Joong Ki reached the table.

“Sorry,” said Joong Ki, settling in the seat beside Kwang Soo. “I got held up at work. But I’m here now—that’s what matters.”

“And we have drinks,” said Gary as Kwang Soo filled Joong Ki’s shot glass. “That’s what really matters.”

“We should have a toast before the food arrives,” said Haha. He glanced pointedly down the table at Jong Kook and Jae Suk, the only two people without glasses of soju in front of them. “One drink, for Joong Ki’s sake.”

Jong Kook sighed. He had the feeling he and Jae Suk would revert to their old roles tonight. When Jong Kook was younger, he went out to drink with friends whenever he had free time in his Turbo schedule, but as he started to enjoy exercise and keeping a healthy life style, Jong Kook had started avoiding alcohol. He already had a bad back; he would prefer to keep his liver intact. Jae Suk, on the other hand, had never been a fan of alcohol, disliking the taste and loss of control. When they went out during the X-Man days, the two of them would end up the only sober ones of the group and spend the night taking care of their friends. But tonight, the whole restaurant had been rented out and everyone’s managers were present, so this was one time of the few times where the cast could drink without worry.

“One drink,” said Jong Kook with a sigh.

“And don’t fill mine all the way,” added Jae Suk.

Haha grinned triumphantly and went to get two shot glasses. When he returned, Kwang Soo poured the soju for first Jae Suk and then Jong Kook. Then, the eight cast members turned to Joong Ki, holding their glasses for a toast.

“Song Joong Ki,” said Jae Suk, who as always took the lead when it came to things like this. “We’ve experienced a lot together. We’ve laughed, we’ve endured, we’ve run across landmarks, we’ve worn hot pants and red underwear, we’ve had our nametags ripped off—thank you, Kim Jong Kook—and we’ve become friends. Even if we are no longer colleagues, you know that we will always be friends and you can rely on us if you ever need to.”

A small smile crossed Jong Kook’s face as Jae Suk finished his toast. People leaving variety shows was nothing new to them; Jong Kook himself had been forced to leave X-Man to join the military. But even though Jong Kook and Jae Suk—Haha and Suk Jin as well for that matter—had gotten used to people leaving, it still hurt to know that someone who they had spent long hours laughing and suffering with was no longer going to be there when they showed up for filming on Monday.

There was a sniffle and Jong Kook glanced to his right where Ji Hyo had a fixed expression on her face. Her brow was furrowed and her lips pressed together as she stared down at the shot glass in her hands. People leaving a variety show was not something Ji Hyo, Kwang Soo, and Gary had really experienced before. Yes, Lizzy had left, but she had only been with them briefly. They had all liked Lizzy, but her departure couldn’t compare to the pain of Joong Ki—who had been with them since the beginning—leaving. Jong Kook wanted to do something, say a few words or pat Ji Hyo on the shoulder at least, but he didn’t know her well enough to offer any comfort at a time like this, so Jong Kook remained silent and still.

“I want to thank you all,” said Joong Ki. “I can’t tell you how much this experience, getting to know you all and being a part of Running Man, means to me. I wouldn’t exchange this time for anything. Jae Suk-hyung, you were an irreplaceable sunbae. When I was lost, you helped me develop a character for myself on this show. Suk Jin-hyung, you taught me so much about variety. We worked hard together, and even though we often ended up in jail, we had some fun times there. Jong Kook-hyung…”

Jong Kook met Joong Ki’s eyes. The memories came back. Playing games together, celebrating a win together, laughing about hot pants together, snowboarding together, going to the gym together, eating together after filming, arguing over Joong Ki’s crush on Ji Hyo, laughing about Joong Ki’s crush on Sunny…

Joong Ki smiled. “You always looked after me—even when I didn’t ask for it. I hope that I always have someone like hyungnim looking out for me. And if I ever need a six-pack for a drama, I have your number.”

Jong Kook laughed. Beside him, Ji Hyo was smiling despite the tears in the corners of her eyes.

“Gary-hyung,” said Joong Ki. “It was fun being your rival in a love line.”

“It wasn’t fun being yours,” joked Gary. “How was I supposed to compete with our resident flower boy?”

“I’m glad you won in the end,” said Joong Ki. “No one is better suited to be the Monday Boyfriend than you.”

Jong Kook was surprised by the truth in Joong Ki’s voice. After months of trying and failing to leave his crush on Ji Hyo behind, it seemed as though Joong Ki had finally let go of his feelings.

“And Dong Hoon-hyung, I can never thank you enough for being there for me when I felt down. Even when we barely knew each other in the early days of Running Man, you still looked after me and helped me feel comfortable on this show.”

There was a pause. For a second, Joong Ki’s eyes were fixed on the ceiling. Then, slowly, he lowered his gaze to Ji Hyo. Jong Kook knew she was close to tears, but she and Kwang Soo had both vowed not to cry at the farewell party, so she was holding them back with every ounce of willpower in her.

“Ji Hyo-noona,” said Joong Ki. His voice was soft, far softer than it had been for any of his hyungs. “I think everyone here will agree with me when I say that you are incredible. None of us have any right to complain about feeling tired when you’re working so hard during filming. You have been an irreplaceable friend to me, and we have looked after one another since filming began. I’m thankful I got a chance to do this show with you.”

“Kwang Soo…” Joong Ki’s voice faltered a little.

Next to Jong Kook, Ji Hyo was fighting a losing battle with her tears. Jong Kook didn’t know what to do. A part of his wanted to tell her it was okay to cry, but he knew that she didn’t want to go back on her word and she wanted tell Joong Ki goodbye with a smile on her face.

Jong Kook elbowed Ji Hyo ever so slightly. He didn’t know how he expected her to respond—he just wanted to remind her that crying wasn’t allowed—but she elbowed him back and somehow she ended up ever so slightly leaning against his arm. Jong Kook didn’t know whether he should move or leave things as they were. In the end, with Ji Hyo’s arm resting against him, Jong Kook kept his eyes glued to Joong Ki as he listened to the end of the toast.

“Words cannot express how important of a friend you are to me,” said Joong Ki. “We started out as newbies to variety together, and I’m sorry that I have to leave you like this—to be the only maknae. But I never thought I would find my best friend on Running Man, so...” Joong Ki took a deep breath. “Thank you. Even if I’m saying goodbye to Running Man, you know I’m not saying goodbye to any of you. I hope we all have great success in our careers, and I hope we remain good friends. Gunbae.”

“Gunbae,” murmured the rest of the cast before they downed their shots of soju.

Just as Jong Kook had predicted, after dinner had ended, he and Jae Suk were the only sober members of the cast, everyone else was either drunk or on their way to being drunk. Haha and Gary were trying to play a game on their smartphones and laughing loudly about how bad they were at it, and Jong Kook was offering them “helpful” advice. Suk Jin was ranting to Jae Suk about bad investments, while Ji Hyo, Kwang Soo, and Joong Ki were coming up with a bizarre movie premise that would include all the Running Man members. The staff weren’t much better themselves. At the VJ table, Sung Gyu and Ki Jin were talking animatedly about something while the other cameramen laughed, and the maknae PD had started doing his infamous impressions.

“Jong Kook-hyung needs to be a gangster,” said Kwang Soo stubbornly.

“We don’t need a gangster in Running Man: The Romantic Comedy,” complained Joong Ki.

“But the only character that fits Jong Kook-hyung is a gangster,” said Kwang Soo.

Ji Hyo nodded. “Gangsters can be romantic and comedic.”

Jong Kook abandoned Haha and Gary to their smartphone games and turned to Ji Hyo. “What kind of role are you signing me up for?”

“We don’t have a role for you yet,” said Kwang Soo. His words slurring a little. “Joong Ki is the handsome but weak male lead and I’m the awkward but adorable female lead. Ji Hyo-noona is my best friend who keeps me in line. Gary- and Haha-hyungs are the comic relief characters. Jae Suk-hyung is Joong Ki’s rival for my love, and Suk Jin-hyung is the matchmaker who is trying to set me up with Jae Suk-hyung.”

“Why isn’t Ji Hyo the female lead?” asked Jong Kook.

“I’ve already been the female lead for Joong Ki, Gary-hyung, and Haha-hyung,” said Ji Hyo. “It’s Kwang Soo’s turn to be the romantic interest.”

“Kwang Ja,” corrected Jong Kook. “If he’s going to be the female lead, then he has to have a female name.”

“Lee Kwang Ja,” said Ji Hyo before taking another sip of soju.

“Who are you going to be, hyung?” asked Joong Ki, who seemed to be the most sober of the three.

“A gangster,” insisted Kwang Soo. “Have you seen his acting? Jong Kook-hyung can’t act as anything other than a gangster.”

“He can be Joong Ki’s gym-obsessed older brother,” said Ji Hyo.

“Who’s a gangster,” added Kwang Soo.

“Who disapproves of Kwang Soo and Joong Ki’s relationship,” continued Ji Hyo.

Kwang Soo nodded. “Because he’s a gangster.”

Ji Hyo slapped Kwang Soo’s shoulder. “What does being a gangster have to do with disapproving of your love? Gangsters can be romantic too. Isn’t that right, Jong Kook-oppa?”

Jong Kook blinked. Ji Hyo must have been drunker than he’d first thought; she had never referred to him as “oppa” outside of filming before. Jong Kook glanced over at Joong Ki and saw a similar surprised look on his face. Ji Hyo and Kwang Soo, however, continued to bicker about romantic gangsters as if nothing had happened.

Did Jong Kook mind if Ji Hyo started calling him “oppa” outside of filming? Not at all. Calling him “hyung” had been her choice originally, and Jong Kook had simply gone along with it. Honestly, he’d be happy if she stopped calling him “hyungnim”, since she knew how much it annoyed him.

After listening to Kwang Soo and Ji Hyo argue a little longer, Jong Kook got up from his seat and headed to the VJ table. Ki Jin got very talkative when he was drunk. He teased Jong Kook about his love line with Lee Hyori, which Ki Jin had filmed every minute of, and it was only after Jong Kook threatened to start talking about what happened at the Family Outing after-party that Ki Jin not-so-subtly changed the topic. Jong Kook also talked to his manager Gap Jin about what time they should leave the party. Gap Jin was having fun with the other managers and didn’t seem in any hurry to depart. Jong Kook was heading back to the cast’s table when he ran into Suk Jin.

“How are you doing, hyung?” asked Jong Kook.

“Good,” said Suk Jin. “My son just called.” He held up his cellphone as if he needed to present evidence for Jong Kook to believe him.

Jong Kook smiled. He’d always admired Suk Jin’s relationship with his son. “Ki Jin and the other VJs were talking about changing location.”

Suk Jin nodded, his eyes going a little out of focus. “I should go home when they leave.”

“I think you should too,” agreed Jong Kook. He and Jae Suk had been surprised at how much Suk Jin had drunk over dinner.

“Don’t order me around.” Suk Jin took a step forward and stumbled a little. Automatically, Jong Kook extended a hand and caught his hyung by the shoulder.

“I’m fine,” hissed Suk Jin, pushing Jong Kook’s hand away.

Jong Kook withdrew his hand, blinking rapidly. Suk Jin’s sharp attitude from earlier had resurfaced throughout the meal when Jong Kook made a joke about Suk Jin being the first one out and when Haha had asked if Suk Jin needed a Jong Kook Usage Voucher. Jong Kook had noticed that Suk Jin’s attitude was only directed towards him, being nothing but friendly towards the other cast members. Which meant that whatever Suk Jin’s problem was, it was related to Jong Kook.

“Hyung,” said Jong Kook slowly. He wasn’t certain how to ask without being rude. Suk Jin was his senior and they weren’t close friends, but there seemed to be an issue between them—though Jong Kook didn’t know what it was—that needed to be addressed. “Hyung, did I, uh, do something wrong?”

 There was a pause. Suk Jin had one hand against the restaurant wall to stabilize himself. “Something wrong? No. No, you’re great. Just great.”

“It doesn’t sound that way,” said Jong Kook slowly.

“You’re Kim Jong Kook, the Commander, the Spartan—what could you do wrong?”

The more Suk Jin talked, the more Jong Kook became convinced he’d done something wrong. Jong Kook probably should have gone to the sober Jae Suk and asked why Suk Jin was upset, or at least waited until the effects of the alcohol had left Suk Jin before asking, but Jong Kook wanted to keep the issue between the two of them and sort it out before next Monday when they would have to film together.

“Hyung,” said Jong Kook, trying to keep his voice low and calming. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re what’s wrong,” snapped Suk Jin suddenly.

“Me?”

“You think,” Suk Jin’s voice was a venomous, “that just because you’re stronger than everyone else and because guests always want you on their team that you’re better than us.”

Jong Kook blinked. He didn’t know what to say. It was in his character to be strong. The PDs had wanted Jong Kook to be the Commander, and so Jong Kook had worked hard to fill that role. He’d blocked out what the viewers might say about him, about how his personality had changed and about how he was a bully, knowing that his character was for the sake of the show. Jong Kook had thought that his fellow cast members had understood this, but apparently not all of them had.

“You think because I’m easy to catch and because you took my spot that I’m weak that I can be pushed around. I’m strong too.” Suk Jin tried to give Jong Kook’s left shoulder a shove but Jong Kook, not realizing what was happening, remained immovable. Suk Jin cursed.

And then, suddenly, with no warning, Suk Jin’s voice became very small, almost fragile. “My son watches this show, you know. He watches me get my nametag ripped off every week. The others can laugh about it, about how strong you are and about how weak I am, but they don’t have to see the disappointment in my son’s eyes.”

“Hyung,” said Jong Kook. There was so much to explain but at the same time he couldn’t explain. He and Suk Jin had such opposite roles, the things they had to sacrifice so different, that right then it seemed almost impossible that they could ever understand each other.

“Hyung,” said Jong Kook again. “We’re both…we’ve both…”

“I’ve had too much to drink,” said Suk Jin abruptly. He stepped away from the wall, swaying a little. “Forget it. I was just joking.” He let out a hollow laugh.

Jong Kook tried to say something, but there were no words. He could only watch silently as Suk Jin made his way back to the cast’s table and settled into the seat beside Jae Suk.

Ji Hyo hadn’t intended to be as drunk as she was. When she’d arrived at the restaurant, she’d planned to have a drink or two to erase the nervousness and leave it at that. But then Joong Ki had given his farewell speech and everything had come rushing back to her. They were the Song Song siblings—and he was leaving her. She’d been angry at herself, frustrated as her eyes had started to sting with unshed tears. She and Kwang Soo had promised each other that they wouldn’t cry at the party but just listening to Joong Ki talk to each of the cast members had almost caused her to forget that promise. Even Kwang Soo, who had cried multiple times since the end of filming according to Suk Jin, had managed to keep it together during Joong Ki’s speech.

But right when Ji Hyo had been on the verge of breaking down into tears, Jong Kook had given her a little nudge. She remembered that moment clearly. He had been looking at Joong Ki, so she’d only been able to see his side profile, but there’d been something determined in his expression, his mouth pressed into a thin line. And Ji Hyo had realized that Jong Kook, however awkwardly, had been trying to help her, remind her to be strong. Instead of crying, Ji Hyo had suddenly felt warm, as if she’d been wrapped in a thick blanket on a winter’s day. Jong Kook was looking after her. And it’d made her feel calm and safe. She’d meant to elbow him back, let him know that his efforts were appreciated, but somehow she’d ended up leaning on Jong Kook’s arm. He was strong and solid, and his presence had made her feel anchored even as Joong Ki talked about leaving. She could get through this with a smile, she’d thought, as long as Jong Kook was there.

And then after Joong Ki’s speech was over, Ji Hyo had realized how embarrassing her actions were. She was friends with Jong Kook, but they weren’t close—definitely not close enough to lean on each other like that. Her actions must have been strange to him. What if he took it the wrong way? What if she had damaged their growing friendship? The thoughts and fears had filled Ji Hyo and combined with the impending loss of Joong Ki, she’d found herself drinking far more soju than she’d planned.

“Noona.” A voice was calling her gently and a soft hand rested on her shoulder. “Noona.”

Ji Hyo’s head was on the table, her arms folded beneath her, acting as a pillow. She must have fallen asleep amidst the laughter and conversation. She tried to lift her head, but the room started spinning so she put her head back down.

“Noona,” repeated the voice. Joong Ki’s voice, she recognized it now. “I have to go.”

“My dongsaeng,” murmured Ji Hyo, slowly lifting her head. “Don’t go. I don’t want you to go.”

“The party’s not over yet,” said Kwang Soo. “It’s your farewell party, Joong Ki, but you were the last to arrive and now the first to leave.”

“I have work tomorrow,” explained Joong Ki. “And Jae Suk- and Suk Jin-hyungs are leaving as well.”

Ji Hyo opened her eyes and saw Joong Ki standing over her. Kwang Soo was next to him, resting a hand on Joong Ki’s shoulder to keep himself stable. On the other side of the table sat Haha, Gary, and Jong Kook who were talking about something in low voices that Ji Hyo couldn’t decipher.

“How long have I been asleep?” asked Ji Hyo.

“Just a few minutes,” said Joong Ki quickly. “You fell asleep while Gary-hyung was inventing a new rap verse about sushi.”

“It’ll be a hit song,” called out Gary suddenly.

There was a laugh, and Jong Kook said, “Try saying that when you’re sober.”

Ji Hyo looked down the table at Jong Kook who was leaning against the wall. Their eyes met for a brief second before Jong Kook looked away. Ji Hyo felt her face reddening. He was definitely unnerved by her actions. She shouldn’t have done it. She shouldn’t have leaned on him. It was just that she’d felt so comforted when he was next to her…

Ji Hyo quickly turned back to Joong Ki. “Are you really leaving?”

Joong Ki was staring at someone behind Ji Hyo before slowly turning his gaze back to her. He nodded.

It surprised Ji Hyo that there were no tears. She’d been dreading this moment for days, vowing that she would smile while saying goodbye to Joong Ki as a cast member. But now that the time had come, there were no more tears left to shed. Ji Hyo rose from her seat, swaying only a little, and wrapped her arms around Joong Ki in a tight hug. She released him and smiled. It came easily to her. Though she still didn’t know how she would be able to keep filming without him, she found that she couldn’t have cried right then even if she wanted to and there was nothing but goodwill in her heart. “You know you’ll always been my dongsaeng.”

“I’ll call you, noona,” said Joong Ki. “And you, me, and Kwang Soo can go out to karaoke again.”

Kwang Soo made a face. “Do we have to? You know how bad noona is at karaoke.”

“Yah!” Ji Hyo gave Kwang Soo a little shove, which threw her off balance more than him. Joong Ki caught her arm to stabilize her and Ji Hyo smiled. “We’ll definitely have to do karaoke.”

Joong Ki gave her one last hug before heading to the exit with Kwang Soo following him. It wasn’t the end of a friendship, Ji Hyo had to remind herself. Just because they were no longer working on the same show, it didn’t mean that she could no longer see Joong Ki.

“You didn’t cry.”

Ji Hyo glanced over her shoulder to see that Jong Kook had moved along the table so that he sat across from her. Ji Hyo quickly looked away. He hadn’t been able to make eye contact earlier, but now he was the one starting a conversation. Did that mean he wasn’t upset that she had leaned against him earlier?

“I even smiled,” said Ji Hyo, turning to face Jong Kook.

He nodded. “How are you feeling? You seemed fairly out-of-it before.”

“Joong Ki leaving sobered me up a little,” admitted Ji Hyo before quickly adding, “But I still smiled.”

“You did,” said Jong Kook. He hesitated.

Ji Hyo bit her bottom lip, wondering what he was thinking about. She tried to concentrate, but the world hadn’t settled down yet and the alcohol was still making things fuzzy. She placed her hands on either side of her head. “I should probably go home soon.”

“I should too,” said Jong Kook. “I have a schedule in the afternoon.”

“I have tomorrow off.”

Jong Kook smiled. “I suppose that means you’ll be comatose for the next twenty-four hours.”

“Of course.” Ji Hyo sighed. “It’s been a tiring day.”

“More tiring than I thought it’d be,” murmured Jong Kook. He wasn’t looking at Ji Hyo but across the room at where Jae Suk and Suk Jin were preparing to leave.

“Did something happen?” asked Ji Hyo. Her words were slurred, and she shook her head in an attempt to clear it.

“Yes,” said Jong Kook. “Maybe I’ll tell you about it later. When you can form complete words.”

It seemed Jong Kook wasn’t upset with her. They were talking as they normally did and any of the initial awkwardness had completely vanished within the first minute of the conversation. Ji Hyo smiled. “I haven’t been this drunk in a long time.”

“It’s been awhile since I’ve been properly drunk,” said Jong Kook.

“How long?” asked Ji Hyo.

“A year, I guess. It was at Cha Tae Hyun’s birthday party.”

“And what happened?”

Jong Kook gave her a wry smile. “Why are you so curious?”

“You’re the one who almost never drinks,” said Ji Hyo. “I need to get my drunk Jong Kook-hyung stories where I can.”

“And if I don’t tell you?” asked Jong Kook.

“Then I’m going to have to find Cha Tae Hyun and ask him,” said Ji Hyo.

Jong Kook laughed and Ji Hyo found herself laughing along with him. Cradling her head in her hands, Ji Hyo stared up at Jong Kook. His presence really was comforting, though she couldn’t quite find the words to explain why right then. But he had helped her. She didn’t think she would have been able to smile at Joong Ki like she did if it hadn’t been for Jong Kook. curled upwards and she said, softly, “Thank you for looking after me, oppa.”

Jong Kook blinked. He opened his mouth to say something and then stopped. Finally, he returned her smile and said, “You’re welcome.” 

A/N: Goodbye, Song Joong Ki. I felt sper cheesy while writing your goodbye speech but I've had a lot of fun writing you. But don't worry, you'll be back in this story if I have anything to say about it.

As for my readers, what did you think? In some ways, it's more fun to write chapters that aren't reliant on RM episodes, but it's also harder because I have to depend more on what I know of their personalities. SJK leaving always felt like one of those landmarks where after which KJK and SJH start getting closer, so I feel like I've hit a new stage in spartace. Yay! I'll try to update again soon, but I always say that and then take a month to update, so who knows.

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