A Request

***

 

Weeks have passed after dumping and leaving me with nothing, I' am building myself again and thank God there's neither silhouette nor shadow of him inside the campus. I' am really trying my best not to think about him once more.

 

Things get in my favor; I go back from where I have started – over saturating myself reading books from Romantic Period.

 

My body's condition goes back to being a grade conscious. After reflecting, I've realized I have sacrificed a lot just for him.

 

"Friend, I would like to be part of Baekhyun's fans club."

 

"Hey, let's go to EXO Band's gig this night."

 

"Mom, can I have some bills? I will buy EXO's mini album available in our university."

 

"I will not review for the quiz, later I'll go to his fan meet at 10pm."

 

"I will buy 5K of their tickets for them to win the BOB."

 

"Really? He needs a help to finish his project? I can help though."

 

"I volunteer to make the banner!"

 

"I will make the letterings for the stage they will use for the performance."

 

"I should not eat to save money for his birthday. I'll buy gifts."

 

"I'll pay you just make me the first in the line to get his signature."

 

"I' am sorry groupmates I can't go to our groupings. I should take stolen pictures of him for the club."

 

"I should take the risk to say what I really feel towards him. I should give him this letter I have made last midnight."

 

Such a waste of time, money and effort. Why in the first place make myself believe that I have the chance to be part of his life though? He smiled to me lot of times, falling to his trap of cornering me that maybe he have feelings for me too?

 

My life became the usual life I live after that incident.

 

I cannot concentrate, it feels like something lacks within me. My system isn't coordinating to do the things I usually do before, though little by little I' am trying to go back to my original self.

 

Maybe, he's truly a part of me now. It's a process, a long-time process of letting him go, seeing him how colorful his life without me as a fan and how pathetic my life would be without him.

 

I honestly do not want to go back to my old self, it is just the situation dictates me to do so.

 

Currently, I' am under an oak tree in our school's park. Here, making myself busy reviewing lessons to forget about everything - all the stupid things I've done.

 

*Bzzzt*

 

My phone vibrated, indicating that someone texted me.

 

Unknown: +639*********

 

I'm sorry for the interruption. Can we ask help from you? It's me, the Fans club president.

 

Oh? I' am actually planning to terminate my membership and here they are, asking help from me. I don't want to do things half-heartedly but, I owe many things to them because of the perks they have given me before. I also do not want to have connections to them anymore because of Baekhyun, I' am completely broken and I don't want to be hypocrite showing them that I wasn't hurt

 

Me:

 

Sure. Just tell me, I' am willing.

 

What a crap! I can't turn them down. Let it be, I think it is not a difficult favor right?

 

Unknown: +639*********

 

Great! You fit for the job! Thanks for your cooperation.

 

What job? I' am starting to regret what I have decided.

 

Me:

 

Huh? What job?

 

Unknown: +639*********

 

You will be happy for sure. You have given the chance to be part of the audition for the new vocalist and backup singers of the band. Chanyeol oppa requested me to ask you if it is okay for you. I wrote your name already and I know you will not say no. Thank you so much, the day after tomorrow will be the performance of your audition piece.

 

I decided not to reply, I forgot that I have told them I was a former choir member in my high school. I' am completely cornered, no possibility of escaping from it because Chanyeol oppa requested for me.

 

Chanyeol oppa is the friendliest among all the members that's why he requested me because we became friends, well; I hope he's the one I like but no.

 

I honestly did not completely forget about Baekhyun because once again, it is a long-term restoration since he’s my first love and not my first infatuation.

 

Many thoughts came out of my mind, having a dilemma if I' am ready to step again to that stage where my feelings for Baekhyun began. All the efforts of forgetting and letting go will be wasted. I cannot escape from it because it's hunting me.

 

After I have read the message, a message from the president came again.

 

Unknown: +639*********

 

By the way, Baekhyun oppa is not a part of the group now. He quitted already and Kyungsoo oppa will be the new vocalist. They will also change the concept of monopolizing the band with one vocalist; they wanted to have a blending of voice of a lady and a man. I hope you will be part of it and I'm sorry for the bad news.

 

Huh? What happened to him now? What's the reason? How about the fans? Please, don't make me a paranoid fan girl again, I'm done with it and I do not want to go back.