This goes to suesulong  who suggested the idea I do hope you enjoy the update and the way I wrote it.

Do you ever feel that you're not worthy of what other think of you. Do you ever feel that carrying the burden you were assigned to you is not enough that you feel that you must carry the burden of others also. Or have you ever felt that you are worthy of taking care of 6 wonderful people who have turned your life for the better. But yet you feel like everything you're doing is not enough, and that long stressful hours are not enough to repay for everything life has given you. That you kill yourself with work till the point that you become sick but you don’t see that happening. You feel that everything you're doing is not enough. Even though everyone tells you that you are the best thing they could have in their life. Yet you can’t seem to feel the same way. You feel as you’re a burden to everyone because you are not doing more than the best you can do.

    JB is the leader of Got7 but he sometimes felt that he wasn’t a worthy of being the leader of the group. Although said that he was the best leader and praise him with all nice words at the end of the day. JB feels that he wasn’t born to lead a group. He felt as someone else could do a better job than him. When something goes wrong he can’t help himself but to blame everything on himself. JB would blame whatever goes wrong on himself. Why because he’s the leader and he’s suppose to make sure things go right. Although Jr his boyfriend was there to supports him and tell him that he’s a great leader. The tiny person in JB’s head tells him otherwise. The tiny person tells him that he’s a horrible leader and is only bringing a burden to the group. An they only say that because they’re trying to make him feel better.

     When you’re a leader of six talented people and have to manage your own relationship and help others with theirs it gets a little hard. An sometimes it’s too much for one person to take in. Having to solve your own problems and the problems of others it bring you a great burden that you feel you must face alone. Mostly when you refuse to relied on others because they’re already relying on you. So JB found himself sitting all alone by a secluded part of town having his usual coffee. Thinking about everything and everyone. Thinking about what it meant to be a leader and Jr the man that was his strength when things got hard, or to much to handle.

“Hey there you seem kinda sad, do you mean if I join you”

“OMG it’s you, yes please do”

“Now may I ask what’s bothering you. Maybe I can help you.”

“Is just that I feel that I’m a terrible leader”

“Why would you think that”

“Well because everything I seem to do is not enough, and every time I try to do something right, everything goes wrong. I think to do what I can for my members but I feel as is not enough”

“Well listen here JB, being a leader is not about always doing the right thing, is about doing the best for your members and making sure that they’re okay. You see I was like you when I was younger. I always believed I was a terrible leader. I was always causing problems for my members and my face always was on the news scandal after scandal. That I became hard on myself blaming myself for everything that was going wrong in the group. I stopped eating, sleeping, or plainly living. I became a zombie in a sense I was only practicing from sun up till sundown, hours after hours. That I caused my members and boyfriend to worry about me. An I felt that I had failed them again because I couldn’t even seem to be able to take care of myself. I become depressed and sick. That I had to be taken to the hospital many times. Until one time my boyfriend and members had enough that they sat me down with them. Scolding me for thinking such ridiculous ideas. That we were a team and I wasn’t suppose to carry the burden all on my own but as a team. You have no idea how much I cried that day”

“Whoa I wished things were like that too”

“Oh but JB they’re its just you who refuses to allow them to help. Let me give you a word of advice. You might be the leader but remember you’re human. You make mistakes but you can can also fix them and remember you’re a leader but you’re members are also your friends and they can help you carry the big burden it comes with being a leader. I can tell you this I know you are a great leader because you care. I can see that so don’t push yourself too much”

“Thank you so much”

“Is nothing also here’s my number call me if you ever need someone to talk to and call me Jiyong”

“I will thank you Jiyong and please call me Jaebum”

“I’ll see you around Jaebum my boyfriend just texted. He’s worried because I didn’t tell him I would be gone and whoa look at the time. It’s late would you like me to give you a ride”

“No I’m fine I’ll walk”

“Tha